What Did You Do?

when you returned, you found me calm
sweet and contented I'd become
and I naturally was happy
happy having you back at home

the laughs, the drinks
we all partied at full-pace
and yes, my eyes did so dance
my heart thrilled in a race

I wondered what you saw
here me older still
you all grown and strong
exerting such firm will

it's my fault I feel
the way I stayed up the last night
should have left everything the same
gone and said goodnight

it doesn't matter now
things happen and can't be changed
truth is I wouldn't do that
my feelings for you can't be feigned

not those feelings to care
those everyone sees
I'm meaning the other kind
the deep desire to please

I can't say aloud to others
these ideas dark and so new
those thoughts and words
you get me to say just to you

so dangerous, this game we play
how horrible and bad
to put him where he could be so hurt
the man we both love, my husband, your dad

but that hasn't stopped me
from checking my phone
imagining the next time
you manage to get me alone

take your time
make me wait
there'll be something waiting for you here
a hunger that can't be sate

I meant what I said
I knew for you it wouldn't daunt
to hear your mother say
have whatever you want

that night you showed me a lot
proved what you could do
made me feel at my core
things i didn't suspect, sensations so new

tell me i'm wrong
but I think I surprised you too
at the end, your smile did say
i've great pleasure to imbue

is that why you text each day?
that why your directions they pour
now that inside you suspect
I might be your whore

yes, I get what you wonder
can I be that prize you render
next time you visit home
can you get me to surrender

i'm stupid to do this
to send you this note
lay bare my needs
then wish they weren't wrote

can't help myself now though
not after all this time to think
maybe if I wasn't alone so,
I wouldn't act on the brink

but maybe that's not it at all
not his fault I'm almost mad
after what happened last time
the closeness we had

you asked me if i'd ever
shown another that side
that way I had about me
to not want to hide

I told you no
nothing truer can be said
either in my far past
or even since I've been wed

so, I guess it's congratulations to you
you're getting what he never did
there's no way I should tell you that
this secret so forbid

you see the truth is that I want
the same thing that you demand
your look, your stroke
and on my bare skin your hand

you shocked me that first night
making me turn and lift my hem
I shook and I churned
no longer acting so prim

when you felt your effect
you chuckled and sighed
your hand between my legs
slipping a finger inside

you swore that wasn't the last time
that you'd return from where you came
I couldn't resist how wild that felt
didn't know with me, you could so inflame

so now I lie here and wait
and tell you too much
spill my secrets of longing
and of letting go and such

we sampled a part of us
now we both sense a feast
but both of us knows
we've unharnessed a beast

you see, I was being so real
so upfront and true
to tell you i'd do anything
and do it just for you

i should thank you in a way
for starting with only a bit
if it were more the first time
i'd likely thrown such a fit

but that brings us to now
and what happens next
write me back and hurry
or else I will vex

you have me where you want me
and I want to hear what you say
about how you'll take me
ravage me and have your way

what will I do until then?
tell me what you wish I should do
it doesn't matter what or where
and i'll do it for you

meanwhile i'll lie here and try to hold out
remembering what I saw of you
and hoping for what i'll have
even willing to obey and to you be so true

am I right that's what you meant?
when you left, saying to stay true
i'm taking what you really meant
is not to give my husband his due

I stared in disbelief right then
so shocked at my son
but now that I've thought about it
i'm ready to tell you you've won

i'm here waiting and ready
saving myself as I must
knowing i'm angering your dad
but hoping i'm creating your lust

what does it feel like
will you write me and tell
to have won your mother totally
and put her under your spell

here, i'll tell you even more
even though it's too much
things no mother should tell
about her love and such

you see, before at least I could rely
on at least once a week
it was comfortable and easy
even though not always hitting a peak

now three weeks have dragged past
and I haven't permitted him there
and haven't opened myself to him
even though I still care

should not say that at all
not reveal even a clue
how I've saved myself and considered
that I am only for you

as I reach my max now
and stop today's game
i'll shake and i'll moan aloud
and cry out your name

know i'm thinking of you
close to done and so plied
all I want and need
is your cock deep inside.