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Click hereWhy Feminize?
In BDSM fantasies I get to play out the reverse of female objectification and sexism and turn the tables on men. In real life, I am not a sexist. I like men and see them as my equal unless they give me reason to believe otherwise. I am able to separate fantasy role-playing from my real feelings as a person. I know that in my real life I would never make a person into an object, label them or humiliate them as I do when I feminize them, however, in fantasy, feminization and objectification are quite therapeutic.
Probably all sorts of experts would argue with me about the harmful effects of BDSM, but I'm not really worried about what the experts say. Experts are sometimes full of hot air. Shame and objectification are so closely tied to our sexual experience, and not in a particularly positive way. However, exploring the shame, objectification and negative rigid gender stereotypes in role playing rids it of some of its' power.
BDSM in the case of cross-dressing or feminization is like a powerful political satire. People can and do have a sense of humor when performing BDSM cross gender role playing scenes. In acting out the stereotyped behavior, the participants become changed and transformed. Cooptation of behavior, words, and labels of a culture, specifically the sexist or rigid gender traditional culture, is a method of deflating or transforming it into something else. Using language like bitch, or using stereotyped behavior in role paying is a kind of cooptation. Cooptation is a powerful political and cultural tool which can be a catalyst for both personal and social change. For example, the word Queer is a label which has been transformed into something more positive by the gay community, and is cooptation of hate speech for the purpose of reclaiming it and changing its' cultural connotations.
There are certain triggers which are sexual hot buttons for a male submissive some of which I have taken from gender stereotyped culture and transferred to my feminization sessions. They are my own personal hot (anger - not sexual) buttons, and they seem to translate into something very exciting for men. In experimenting with feminization domination fantasies, I have learned some of the things that really send men over the edge. Not every man is the same, of course. And some of the techniques I like to use will work on some but not on others.
I believe that their fetishizing of rigid gender roles is a way of understanding and changing them. Very few women feel the sexual freedom which allows them to express themselves sexually without feeling guilty. It is a little unfair that men can be the slut without paying for it. Making a man into a feminized slut is very satisfying to some women because it is a way of acknowledging that men can be sluts too, and freeing ourselves of the double standard that says that it is not okay for women to express themselves sexually. I believe that sexual repression is the basis of much evil in the world and has extremely detrimental effects on the human psyche.
Humiliation is also a way of desensitizing ourselves to the things which shame us and trap us in guilty, conflicted, self-defeating behaviors. While the main aim of humiliation is sexual gratification or control, I feel that it has an eventual positive effect psychologically by getting us out of the shame cycle by desensitization, though at first it may be a little difficult to deal with.
I feel that the feminine and masculine orgasm are very different in their nature. When I am role-playing as a male, I imagine my clit growing and becoming elongated. I imagine myself actually penetrating the sub with my clit and the strapon just becoming the substitute or proxy for my pleasure. The orgasm that I experience is much different when I imagine myself with a dick than when I am in a femme role.
I think that the male role reversal experience is similar. To open up, spread your legs, and take rather than give is a uniquely feminine experience and has a totally different feel during orgasm. Not only is the prostate being stimulated producing a deeper orgasm, but the emotions associated with that type of orgasm are very different.
It is quite possible to have an orgasm while strapping it on. There are vibrators which you can buy that attach to the middle strap. Some people even get turned on enough by the friction of pumping and the rubbing of the strap that they can cum without additional devices.
Men sometimes forget that there are more ways to satisfy a woman than just with a penis. Women can experience a very happy and lusty sex life without ever being penetrated with a cock. Extremely feminized men often do not desire to penetrate their Mistress any more. They often begin to have lesbian fantasies and want to satisfy their Mistress in a more lesbian manner. Of course there are also men who cross dress or become feminized who are still very macho and very much in love with fucking and penetration. There is a wide spectrum of cross dressing behavior.
I believe that it is also a misconception that only gay men like being penetrated. Many heterosexual men enjoy being penetrated anally. And it is not just effeminate or feminized men who enjoy being penetrated, either. Bull doms can be receptive and take a cock or a strapon. Many of them like being penetrated. However, I think even they will agree that the feeling of an "innie" orgasm is much different than that of an "outie" orgasm.
Breaking rigid stereotypes is always powerful, and through the experience of feminization or cross-dressing people can act out negative stereotypes thereby transforming them. Cross dressing is not only pleasurable sexually, but emotionally as well because it seems to empower its' participants. Cultures throughout the ages have recognized the power of cross dressing and have adapted cross-dressing as a method of satire and social change. Powerful spiritual leaders such as the Berdache in native cultures cross dressed.
All of us have shadow natures and an animus or anima that drives us unknowingly. Getting in touch with the inner feminine, or the inner masculine in my case, is a powerful way of balancing the inner self. Being a feminization Mistress gives me a sense of accomplishing something very important and powerful for men psychologically as well as socially in how they interact with others after they have experienced feminization.
... for the post. It's exciting to think that a dominant woman would get pleasure from feminising a man.
I'm abit put off by a number of the things that you say here.. Personally speaking I'm a transgender male so I see nothing wrong with "feminizing" or "masculinizing" individuals as you discussed, but most of your alleged psychological and cultural explanations I do find fairly ridiculous to say the least. Each person is different but I can wholly agree that its both beneficial an quite enjoyable to experience the other side of a more um, physical relationship ^^;
I've only touched the surface of my extreme desire to have exactly this type of relationship and experience. It's all I think about! I want a woman preferably a gf to to feminize me and use the verbal sayings u put in writing so perfectly! I want all of this. Where do I find a caring decent Donne or gf that will do this with me? Please!