Mate for Life

"Glenn, if this is some weird matchmaking scheme, don't bother," she said slowly. "I...."

"It's not," Glenn interrupted sincerely, and Emily suddenly realized that her cousin was honestly afraid for her. "It was real, Em, you get the same flashes sometimes, or you used to." She put a hand on Emily's arm, her face grave. "Please, just humor me. If you're embarrassed to ask Daegon to be your watchdog..." - Emmy almost choked at that - "...I'll talk to him for you, or with you."

"Glenn," Emily started to speak, but her cousin rolled right over her.

"I saw you out in a field somewhere, heard swordplay, and you had a bow for the gods' sake, how weird is that, and then things got foggy and you just weren't there," Glenna said in a rush. "I dragged Bran back as soon as I woke. Do you want me to talk to Daeg? I don't mind."

"Glenna, Daegon...." but Glenn yet again cut her off.

"He's a great guy, Em, and I saw how he looks at you, he's like a brother to me already, and..."

"GLENN!" Emily's voice rose to just short of a roar.

Glenna stopped and blinked at her. "What?"

Now that she had Glenna's attention, Emily suddenly had no idea what exactly to say. "Er, Daegon and I..."

"Hey, Glenn, what's this about Emmy being in danger? Bran said you were concerned," Daegon's voice broke into the conversation. He reached down, tugged Emily's hair gently to tilt her head back, and kissed her, drawing out the moment as she sighed into his mouth and his head swam. The kiss was as much for Glenn and Fizzy's benefit as Emmy's, but as always, just touching her tended to get out of hand. He pulled away with an effort, grinning as he caught Fizzy's eye and glimpsed Glenna's astonished face.

"I don't think Em's embarrassed to ask Daegon anything," Fizzy noted.

"When did this happen?!" Glenna blurted, looking from Emily to Daegon and back. "Emmy, you didn't say a thing!" she glared at her cousin accusingly.

"You were gone. It was kind of fast," Emily ignored her cousin's sputtering and calmly ate her lunch.

Daegon eyed the bread and meat and helped himself with a happy sort of growling sound. Spike plunked his head on Emmy's lap. A cat jumped onto her shoulder. Fizzy poured herself more ale from the pitcher on the table. Glenna stared.

"Daeg, does...." she began, and Daegon cut her off with a gesture, glaring. "Yes, of course. Sorry. You wouldn't.... I mean, you're a good guy and of course you would tell her before you...."

"Glenn, shut up," Emily said cheerfully. "Nobody wants to lose their appetite here."

Glenna grinned wickedly. "You're new to the group, Em. Trust me, that wouldn't happen." She looked at the couple and suddenly grinned even wider. "I knew it!" she crowed, leaping to her feet and hugging them both, causing Emily to almost drop her sandwich. "I knew you guys were perfect for each other!"

"How long have you been planning it, Glenn?" Emmy asked suspiciously.

"I wasn't, honest," Glenn said so sincerely Emily knew she was lying.

"Glenn..." Emmy said warningly, Daegon raising a brow at the cousins.

"I don't care," he assured Emmy. "I mean, she was right. And frankly, I could give a kobald's ass what anyone thinks," he kissed Emmy's nose whimsically. "End result is the same."

"Em, I wasn't really matchmaking," Glenna said, her tone not apologetic so much as earnest. "I just....well I remembered the animal thing, and Daegon here has his furry little problem..."

"It's not a problem!" Emily said so fiercely that Glenna blinked at her, mouth dropping open. Daeg stared too, restraining himself from making sappy declarations and ravaging her on the spot. Emily didn't seem to notice.

"Okay," Glenn said, regrouping with a nod. Fitz stifled a laugh. "Well, I just thought if it didn't work out, no problem, Daeg can get along with anyone. If it did, then you two would be really happy. Honest, I didn't get the idea until after you said you would meet us here."

Emily nodded and went back to her lunch. Daegon looked around the table thoughtfully. "So, the vision? Bran said he had promised to let you tell Emily, Glenn."

"Stick with her, Daeg. I don't know why or how, but I saw her abducted. Don't let her out of your sight. Keep her safe." Glenna was dead serious, and Daegon nodded slowly. Without changing her expression or tone, she continued. "And if you break her heart, I will make you wish you were dead. Understood?"

Daegon smiled, touched at her protectiveness. "Understood." He paused, taking Emmy's hand and kissing the back of it before looking at Glenn again. "What if she breaks mine?" he asked, half teasing, half curious.

"You'd deserve it," Glenn said promptly, her eyes twinkling. "Em's family." Her expression softened, and she touched his cheek as she rose, grabbing her pack. "But I'd kick her ass for it," she promised, and went to go join Bran out in the yard.

"I thought Dehn and Fizzy would never leave us alone," Emmy laughed softly as they bathed in the pool. "And Mendel! He's so quiet, and you can't tell at all what he's thinking. I think he hates taprooms more than you do."

"I don't hate them," Daegon protested. "I'd just rather be somewhere else. Mostly," he added fairly, ducking a splash Emmy aimed at him. "They're just trying to protect you, Em. Glenn obviously spread the word."

"It's very gallant of them," Emmy nodded, laying back and rinsing her hair free of soap. Daegon helpfully got behind her and massaged her scalp, teasing bubbles out of the long twisting locks. She practically purred at his touch, and he kissed her forehead. She turned and stood, her breasts bobbing in the water. Daegon watched them as she wrung water out of her hair, almost missing her next words. "....the practice field."

"Eh?" He dragged his gaze from her breasts.

"I said," she said patiently, a half smile lurking, "that it sounds as if the danger is at the practice field."

"You believe Glenna."

She looked at him in honest surprise. "Of course. Don't you?"

"I don't disbelieve," he hedged and raised a hand as Emily started to protest. "No, really, I trust Glenna, and I've seen weirder. I am totally behind adventurer's instinct and cleric's intuition. But visions often don't come true, precisely because they are listened to, and therefore we're warned, and danger is averted."

Emily looked satisfied with his explanation, nodding and pursing her lips. "So, because she's warned us, you don't think it will happen?"

"Something like that." He pulled her closer, kissing random bits of her face and neck, grinning to himself as she shivered and her scent rose, even in the middle of a pool. "We'll be alert for danger, and whoever was targeting you won't get an opening," he said with confidence.

"I'm sure you're right," Emmy agreed, slipping her arms around his neck and kissing him back. "I just don't like the idea of someone watching me at all. And I'm worried that someone will get hurt trying to keep me safe," she added softly.

"Someone being me?" Daegon asked, gathering her up and carrying her out of the pool. Emmy nodded. "I can take care of myself," he assured her.

"I know, but..." Daegon silenced her protest with one large finger over her lips.

"No fretting," he said, half an order. She looked at him, briefly mutinous, but he stared her down and she finally nodded again.

It was a warm day, and both of them were dry in minutes. Neither of them bothered with clothes; the grove was secluded and the likelihood of being barged in on was slim to none. Never had he been more glad to have found this place. Emmy seemed to belong here as much as he did. He loved watching her in the nude, small and round with her ivory skin limmed in golden sunlight. She was combing her hair, which would curl as much as Glenna's if it wasn't so long. As it was, natural ringlets fell almost to her waist, and combing the mass while wet was a real chore, judging by her face. Without comment, he took the comb from her and gently started combing out the tangles. She sighed happily and relaxed, closing her eyes as he teased the wooden comb through the knots.

"Daeg?"

"Yes?" He grabbed a lock to lessen the tug on her scalp and managed to yank a stubborn snarl free.

"Have you ever..." she stopped, biting her lip and looking at him over her shoulder.

He paused his combing and looked back inquiringly. "Have I what?"

"In your other forms, have you..." she suddenly blushed, and he understood. His eyes shuttered.

"Technically, once each," he said calmly, resuming his task. There was a long silence. Daegon finished with her hair and admired the dark red, a pillar of fire in the sun. Her quiet was equal parts curiosity and embarrassment, he could smell it. "Very few know about me," he patted her shoulder and she turned, meeting his eyes. She nodded. "And I master the beast, not the other way around," he continued, watching her closely. "I've been with human women, more than a few. None of them knew, and I didn't care to share that with them." He paused, seeing the realization in her eyes. "Yeah, you're the first."

"Oh," she said, her voice very small, but her eyes lit up. "That's...wow." She swallowed, and touched his face. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"For what?" Daegon tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled.

"Trusting me," she said simply.

"Honestly, Em, I don't think I have a choice there," Daegon said a little ruefully. "You're the only woman I've ever met that my wolf likes as much as I do," he chuckled wryly at that, and she grinned.

"I'm glad of that," she said sincerely. "But you said..." she bit her lip again, seeing his face darken. "It's none of my business," she said hastily. "I'm sorry I asked."

"Nah, you should know," he shrugged, but the tension in his body was unmistakable. Emmy took his hand and kissed it, then moved close, cuddling as he put his arms around her. "I guess you could call it rape," he said a bit harshly. "It was bloodlust, not sex."

She went very still, but didn't try to move out of his embrace. Looking into his eyes, Emily saw the pain and said very softly, "Tell me. Please."

Daegon searched her face, then nodded, taking a deep breath. "It was a couple years ago," he began, easing her off his lap and tossing Emily her robe. She drew it on as he slid into his own clothes, belting it loosely and watching his agitated movements. "We were tracking a band that had been slaughtering travelers, and I was in wolf form. I track fine in human, but pick up scent much better as wolf, and they were very good at covering their tracks," he explained. Emmy nodded, listening. "I knew two were lycans; the scent was unmistakable. The other three didn't matter; Bran and the rest could dispatch them with no trouble at all, if we could catch up. It was the lycans that mattered. They had the brains and the will." Daegon got up and began pacing, Emily watching him quietly. "But they had caught my scent too, and managed to set up a trap. Literally. I burst into a clearing, ahead of my party, and narrowly avoided running right into a hunter's wolf trap."

Emily gasped, eyes round. "They kept traps on them?"

"I never did find if that was the case, or they simply knew where hunters set some up," Daegon shrugged. "I smelled iron and somehow jumped out of it before it snapped shut. They were so surprised they hesitated, and I tore the leader's throat out." He looked at Emily, who was nodding slowly, obviously affected by the image but not seeming overly repulsed. "He was a were, a wolf like me, but evil to the bone. And his mate was no better. She saw me kill him, changed to full wolf, and ran, leaving the rest of her party to die. Bran and the rest were only a few minutes away, and I knew it, so I ran after her, knowing my party could track the others. I caught her about two miles deeper in the woods. She was fast, and knew the woods, but...." he swallowed, not meeting Emmy's eyes. "Her scent was full of fear, and.....lust. It was like a drug, I'd never smelled one of my kind like that before, and it went straight to my head and twisted it."

Emmy got up and caught his chin in her fingers, catching his eye with a piercing look. "She would have killed you, and all your friends, without a backward look," she said fiercely. "Don't you dare beat yourself up for it."

"I don't, not for that," Daegon said quietly. "But I lost it, completely, utterly lost control, and took her, raped her, while I wanted to tear her into little pieces." He pushed Emily's hand away and turned, stepping away, his shoulders shaking. He wasn't crying, she could tell that much. It was worse; he was frightened, and disgusted with himself.

"Tell me what happened," she said, her voice low but carrying. "You didn't tell anyone, did you?"

"No." His voice was bleak. "How could I? They trust me, all of them, Glenna and Bran and the rest, even knowing what I am. I couldn't bear to see them afraid of me."

"You can tell me," Emmy whispered, sliding her arms around him and leaning her cheek against his back. He trembled under her touch, his breathing ragged. She waited patiently, holding him, and he continued, his voice raw.

"She changed. I had my teeth at her neck, holding her down, and she changed to half-wolf, throwing me off her. And ran again, laughing. It was then that I realized that she had baited me, wanted me to fuck her, use her. I'd killed her mate, ripped his throat out, I could still taste the blood in my teeth, and she wanted the victor, the stronger. And I wanted it. I wanted her." Daegon turned, pulling Emily's arms away from him, gripping her wrists, looking down into her shocked face. "You see? The bloodlust had risen, and it had me, and so did she. But she made a mistake," he said, stepping back and pacing again, faster this time, as if to run from the memory. "She didn't try to get away. I changed too, I was so enthralled with it all that I did it without thinking, without really knowing I meant to, and I didn't feel the pain at all. Changing usually hurts, like someone tearing your guts from the inside out, but I've never changed so quick before or since. I chased her down, and she was taunting me, and then ran so fast I lost track for a moment. But her scent was strong, so strong and full of lust and hate and blood that I..." he stopped and swallowed, shaking his head. "I found her, and she was waiting, on her knees and looking at me over her shoulder. I didn't think. I just took her." He finally stopped his futile pacing and looked at Emily, his face stark. "I had enough of me left to know it felt amazing," he said hoarsely. "But that...that feeling snapped me out of it, and....." he closed his eyes, clearly getting a hold of himself. "I killed her, just like I had her mate, but I was still in her. She was so surprised that I did it. I killed her because I knew it was what I could have been."

"But you're not," Emily said quietly. "You're not evil, not even a little bit."

"No. I'm not. I get that," he said, his smile shaky. "But I stay away as much as possible when I have to be wolf. I can't risk it. And I never want to feel that twisted need again, ever. It was at that moment I knew how much beast I really am."

"Daegon..." She didn't know what to say. Emily looked at him, really looked, and saw the pain and uncertainty and fear, and smiled sadly. "Were you born, or made?" she asked suddenly.

"Born," Daegon answered, surprised at the question. "Made usually can't become full wolf. Neither of my parents were, as far as I know."

"You're certain?" Emily asked with interest, taking his hand and seating them in a patch of fading sunlight. Twilight was coming. "Didn't you tell me that you were orphaned young?"

"Yeah, I was," Daegon confirmed, hesitating before he sat. He watched Emily's face and saw no censure or disgust, and began to hope. "But it was my grandparents that raised me from there, and grandfather that taught me forestry. I think if lycanthropy ran in the family, he'd've said."

"Unless it was your mother's side," Emily pointed out. "He might not have known, if it was your mother."

"Maybe not. I've wondered," he said, his voice low, obviously thinking. "I changed the first time when I was sixteen."

"And you didn't tell your grandparents?" It was half a question, and he smiled.

"Actually, I did," he said, surprising her. "Granddad looked me over, told me to make sure I don't ruin all my clothes, Grandma wouldn't be happy, and that was that. He told Grandma, but she never treated me different. The following full moon, she smiled at me when I headed out the door to the woods, and said that she'd see me in a few days, and bring back some rabbits if I can catch them. But we never really talked about it." He smiled at the memory. "They died about six years later, Gran first, just fell asleep and didn't wake up. A week later, Granddad died too, same way. And I started adventuring."

"It happens like that, sometimes," Emily said quietly. "How long were they married?"

"Over fifty years, I think. Gran was Granddad's world. I wasn't surprised when he followed her," Daegon smiled sadly. "But neither of them seemed bothered by my being...what I am." He paused, his face sobering. "Most of the time, I'm not either."

"You shouldn't be," Emily said firmly, wrapping her arms around him. "It's a wonderful thing, not something to be ashamed of. It must be..." she stilled at looked up at him, her face suddenly uncertain. "Is it lonely?" she whispered.

"It used to be," he said quietly, kissing her softly and smiling. "Not so much, now."

He smile was as bright as the sun, and he held her tightly, inhaling her scent. He frowned a little as desire was suffused with the coppery flavor that he recognized all too well.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, a little sharper than he meant to. He set her at arm's length, frowning suspiciously. To his shock, she blushed and looked away. "You're not thinking...Em, that's crazy!" Daegon looked genuinely horrified.

"Well, why wouldn't I?" she countered, his vehemence absurdly making her braver. "I think you're beautiful, Daeg. All of you. Not just the human parts."

"I don't know what would happen, Emmy," Daegon said fiercely, letting go her hands. "You don't. I could go crazy. I could kill you. I'm already insane around you. And I'm much stronger....half wolf is crazy strong, and you're...you..."

"You don't know that," Emily said stubbornly. "I'm not afraid, and I love you."

He went very still. She stared at him calmly, though he could smell that she was as surprised as he was. He took a deep breath.

"You didn't have to say that."

"No, I didn't. But I do. I love you, Daegon, and I don't care if you don't love me back. That's fine. And you'd never hurt me." She stood there, defiant and stubborn and unafraid, and he wanted to kiss her or throttle her, he wasn't sure which.

"You crazy woman, of course I love you, that's not the point!" he snarled. "It's because I love you that I can't do it!"

She beamed at him, her eyes shining, and leaped into his arms. "You do? Really?"

He caught her by reflex, his wolf sitting up and sniffing the air. "Yes," he growled, holding her close and wanting to shake her. "You're insane."

"Yes," she said happily, kissing him all over his face. "But it's a good crazy."

"It's dangerous, and stupid, and insane," Daegon insisted, trying to fend off her kisses and failing. "I won't."

"You can," she insisted. "Daeg, if what you say is true, that I attract and control animals.... well, I'm not saying I can control you, or want to, but...don't you think it would keep you from hurting me?" She paused, peering earnestly into his face. "You smell like mine, and I know I smell different to you, from anyone else...you couldn't hurt me, I know it. And...." she stopped again, her expression serious, "...I think you need to know it, too."