Affairs to Remember Pt. 04

"तरी पण," I said, and then she interrupted again. "Still mother."

"अग पोरे. हे आज ना उदया होणारच आहे. मग उगाच कशाला औपचारीकता. अन् तरी ही तुला नाही पटत तर नको काही करूस. माझा काहि ही बंधन नाही. लवकरच लोखंडी दरवाजा लावून घेउ; म्हणजे थोडीशी प्राइवसी वाढेल. आणि दर शनिवार आणि रविवार संजयचे क्लासेस असतात सकाळी. तू सकाळी आलीस की चांगली प्राइवसी मिळेल आणि संजय सुद्धा व्यस्त असेल," she added. "Look, kiddo. This will happen eventually. What's the need for formality? If you don't agree, then do nothing. I am not obligating you. We would have the iron doors installed soon, which should give us more privacy. Sanjay has classes every Saturday and Sunday in the morning. If you come in the morning, then you should be able to spend some time in complete privacy with him while Sanjay is busy with his classes."

We sipped our tea for a few silent but poignant moments. My future mother-in-law took on the role of instructing me on how to have an extra-marital affair.

"पण संजयला नाही पटल तर? अन् हे सर्व या चालीत कसा होणार?" I finally asked once, expressing my desire and apprehensions. "What if Sanjay doesn't approve? And how would such things happen in this chawl?"

"तू खुप सुंदर आहेस. तुला नाही कस कोण म्हणू शकतो?" she retorted. "You are exquisite. He won't say no to you."

"काळजी घे स्वताचि. घामाचा वास आहे थोडा आणि चहा नको घेवुस. थोंडातना वास यतो. आणि समोरच्या द्वारा बरोबर मागचा हि द्वार स्वच्छ टेव," she added hinting to my pelvis area. "Take care of yourself. Your sweat is a little smelly. Avoid the tea. It spoils your breath. And keep both your front and behind the entrance clean."

My eyes were wide open, and my jaw dropped as I heard her say it so explicitly. She didn't take any pleasure and instead sipped on her tea. I kept the tea aside when she said, "आज ठीक आहे. पण उदया पासून या घरात चहा नको गेउस. संधि कधीहि येवु शकते. श्वास स्वछ ठेवलेला बरा." "It's fine today. But from tomorrow on, don't drink any tea in this house. Opportunities may arrive unannounced. It's best if you keep your breath clean."

"पण आई संजय आणि मी, म्हणजे आम्ही अजुन काही नाही केला," I muttered. "But mother Sanjay and I. I mean, we have done nothing yet."

"हो, पण किशोर भाई आणि तुझा प्रकरण सुरु झाला आहे ना?" "Yes, but Kishore bhai and you have already been intimate, right?"

I didn't respond, picked up the cup, and silently walked into the kitchen. I washed them and put them back on the shelf. She followed me to the kitchen and asked, "तुझा अजुन झाला नाही ना?" "You still haven't had intercourse, right?"

She looked at my pelvis as she asked, and I knew what she was asking.

"नाही आई," I replied, avoiding her eyes. "No, not yet." I didn't believe Kishore bhai chatted openly with her, or perhaps they didn't talk about it until then. I even wondered if she realized it was me in the bathroom with him that day.

I continued to clean up the kitchen, ignoring her presence.

"आपल्या डॉक्टरनीशी बोलून औषध सुरु करुण घे. अजुन लग्नाला किमान दीड वर्ष तरी आहे. जपून राह," she added. "Talk to your doctor friend and get some pills prescribed. There is at least a year and a half for your marriage, so it's better to be careful."

I couldn't avoid experiencing a mix of confusion and relief after my encounter with my mother-in-law. One side of me felt shocked by her blatant support for my affair with Kishore bhai, while another side of me felt a sense of freedom, as if a burden had been lifted. I couldn't help but wonder if my mother-in-law had been playing a double game with me all along, attempting to show to her son that I possessed immoral qualities merely because of my Brahmin heritage. I found it impossible to bring myself to share these thoughts with anyone, not even my trusted doctor friend.

Sanjay did not know of these visits with Kishore bhai to the doctor, and I managed that with the support of his mother. I explained to him that Kishore bhai was unwell, so I escorted him to the doctor.

"काय म्हणाली ती?" he asked. "What did she say?"

He knew I took him to Kalpana; by then, he knew a lot of my friends, even my friend Priya from my father's office.

"हेच की वजन खुप वाढला आहे. त्‍यामुळे जेव्‍हणावर ताबा ठेवावा लागेल. अणि नियमित व्यायामही करावा लागेल," I replied. "That he has become overweight. He would keep a control on his diet and exercise regularly."

"तो कसला करतो व्यायाम?" he muttered. "What exercise would he do?"

"त्याला एकाच प्रकारच व्यायाम जमतं?" he whispered. "He knows only one kind of exercise."

"काय?" "What?"

"अग तेच," he said, a little embarrassed. "I mean that."

I giggled, and we both nodded.

"तो काही व्यायाम करणार नाही," he confidently claimed. "एक दिवस हृदय हृदयविकाराचा झटक्याने मरेल." "He won't do any exercises. He will die of a heart attack one day."

Sanjay, until then, had shown no signs of being a cuckold. He was timid and reserved, the type to not get into any sort of conflict or confrontation. As I contemplated Sanjay's words, I found it impossible to resist feeling both amused and sympathetic towards his naivety. He did not know that Kishore bhai's chosen exercise might originate from his own future wife. I wondered if he had considered the irony of the situation and how I, as Kishore bhai's trainer, would be intimately involved in those very exercises. With the vigor and ferocity with which he pumped into me in the bathroom, he would burn tons of calories with all of that fat and excess weight on his body. And with the libido and the hunger I possessed, I knew that Kishore bhai would get plenty of workouts, and just from that workout itself, he would lose a lot of weight.

Knowing Kishore bhai's reputation as a ladies' man, it was only a matter of time before he set his sights on his fiance and wife. I wondered how long it would take for the truth to unravel and how Sanjay would handle the betrayal that awaited him. I wondered if he remained oblivious to his neighbor's antics all along, and may only on his deathbed thank him for blessing us with a large family.

Sanjay and I were becoming physically close, emotionally connecting, and no longer seemed to be afraid of talking about such taboo things. So I playfully said, "त्याच्‍या आवडत्या व्यायामा साठी सुद्धा फिट रहावा लाग्‍त. शिवाय त्याचा वय वाढत आहे नाही का?" "Even for his favorite exercise, he will have to keep fit. Besides, he growing old, isn't it?"

"बंदर कितना भी बूढ़ा हो जाए।" he smiled. "वो गुलाटी मारना नहीं भूलता।" "Old habits die hard!"

There was no doubt Sanjay held in awe Kishore bhai's sexual prowess, and it started to sink in that perhaps he desired his fiance to experience the pleasure and thrill these other women were experiencing. Perhaps even silently paving the way for an open relationship or exploring alternative sexual experiences with Kishore bhai. I was speculating, of course, but it left me both intrigued and nervous, unsure of how to approach this newfound relationship. I couldn't help but wonder if our connection was strong enough to withstand such unconventional desires or if it would lead to doom, as it perhaps happens in most relationships.

Then suddenly he whispered, "तो आपल्या या अवस्थेत सुद्धा बायकांना गरोदर करतो." "Even in this state of his, he can easily impregnate women."

"काय?" I nervously giggled. "What?"

I looked at him, trying to comprehend the words that had just left his mouth. My heart started racing, unsure of what to make of this sudden revelation. He wanted me to experience what these other women had experienced--the pleasure and thrill that had captivated him. But how would I even live up to such expectations? Thoughts and questions raced through my mind, causing me to giggle nervously in response.

"ममताच्या मोठ्या ताईला पाहिला मी हॉटेल मधे त्याच्‍या बरोबर जातना," he whispered again, his words hanging in the air. "I have seen Mamta's elder sister with him going into the hotel."

I struggled to make sense of his intentions, trying to piece together the meaning behind his words. "अता ती गरोदर आहे," he continued, his voice filled with a mix of anticipation and uncertainty. "She is pregnant now."

"चल काही पण?" I retorted, my usual sarcasm slipping out of my response. "What rubbish?"

But he was serious, his eyes meeting mine with a newfound intensity. "अग खरच बोलतोय," he assured me. "I am telling the truth."

"ती गरोदर आहे. आणी त्यानेच केला तिला." "She is pregnant, and he has impregnated her."

The weight of his words settled on me, and the gravity of his desires was sinking in. I had never imagined our relationship would take such a turn, and yet here we were, standing at the precipice of the unknown.

"लग्ना नंतर काही वर्षे तिला मुल होत नव्हती आणि मग लगेच धडा धड दोन मुले झाली," he said, his voice filled with excitement. "For a few years after her marriage, she couldn't conceive. Then suddenly one by one she gave birth to two children."

"मी त्याना पाहिला नस्ता तर् मला सुद्धा खोट वाटल असत." "I saw them enter the hotel and if I hadn't, I wouldn't have believed it."

His confession left me stunned, and the reality of our relationship suddenly started shifting beneath my feet. Was this the moment that I should ask him if he really wanted Kishore bhai to impregnate his fiancé, to be his wife, and to give her the same thrill? I couldn't find the courage; afraid of what his answer may reveal about our relationship.

I only blushed and avoided his eyes at that moment. An astute boyfriend would have read between the lines and understood my unspoken desires. It was indeed out of the same intention that I took Kishore bhai to see my doctor. I wanted Kishore bhai to get his favorite exercise in ample amounts so that he can maintain his fitness while assisting Sanjay with his bedroom duties.

"तू लग्ना बद्दल बोलत होतास ना?" I asked him, changing the topic. "You were saying something about marriage, right?"

"मला पण लवकरात लवकर लग्न करायचं आहे," he said. "तुला पण ना?" "I want to get married at the earliest. You too, right?"

"आणि हो तुला लवकर मुल नको आणि तुला नोकरी करायची आहे," he added, elaborating on my conditions. I smiled. "And you don't want to start a family immediately and focus on your job, right?"

"आपला ग्रॅज्युएशन झाला की करू," he said confidently. "We can get married after our graduation."

It seemed rather normal, but there was an underlying sense of determination in his voice. Sanjay's relentless pursuit of success has invariably been a source of inspiration for those around him. He had faced many challenges and setbacks, yet his determination remained unyielding. Because of his impressive achievements, there was a part of me that couldn't help but have a sense of guilt for betraying him by cuckolding him with his neighbor, someone he both despised and respected simultaneously. One thing was sure: if Sanjay indeed was a cuckold, he would have definitely wanted Kishore bhai to be the other man in our relationship. The awe he had for Kishore bhai's sexual prowess was undeniable, and it only fueled my desire to embark on this forbidden affair. However, the conflicting emotions within me made me question the morality of my actions. Was I really betraying Sanjay by succumbing to my desires? Was I merely seeking my own happiness? Deep down, I knew that if Sanjay ever discovered our secret affair, it would take a toll on him, but also sexually gratify him to no end. I decided to continue in secrecy, knowing very well that this relationship would be the pinnacle of passion and ecstasy that a middle-class couple could ever experience.

Kishore bhai was the only person who could understand the complex dynamics of this relationship, apart from Sanjay's mother. I didn't dare to explore the subject with her, but only kept my ears open and hung onto every word she said, hoping to gain some insight. Uncharacteristically, she once asked me, "काय ग मयुरी? तुझी डॉक्टर, काय म्हणाली त्या रेड्या बद्दल?" "Mayuri, what did your doctor say about that bull?"

She had already asked me this question a few times, and I consistently told her it was all okay without spelling out the details. On that occasion, though, she didn't let me respond and continued, "नाही मला कल्पना आहे कारण अजुनही या चालीत बायका गरोदर होत आहेत. पण या वयात आणी त्याच्या या लठपना मुळे स्टार्टर थोडा बिगडतो. त्या साठी काही औषधे दिले का त्याला?" "I understand that things are okay as even now some women are getting pregnant in this chawl. But because of his age and overweight body, I am sure he may be having some difficult in getting erect. Did the doctor prescribe any medicines for that?"

I nearly choked on the tea I had been sipping. I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and wash my face. She smiled upon my return and asked, "तू ठिक आहेस ना? या बाबतीत स्पष्ट बोललेलेच बर." "You are okay, right? It's better to talk clearly about such things."

"अहो मी कसा त्या बद्दल बोलणार किवा विचारणार तिला?" I quipped. "तिला काय वाटेल?" "How can I ask her about it?

"बघ पोरे असल्या गोष्टी निदान डॉक्टरां समोर तर लपवता येत नाही," she said. "तू जेव्हा तिच्या जवळ तपासणीला जाशील तिला कळेलच." "Look girl, such things can't be kept hidden, not from your doctors, at least. When visit her for your checkup, she would understand it anyhow."

Just as Sanjay's mother predicted, Kalpana soon realized that I was no longer a virgin and was actually having a rather active sexual life. At that moment, however, I felt embarrassed to continue the discussion, but she wasn't willing to back down, so I finally said, "कल्पना बोलली की या वयात खुप पुरुषांना थोडे प्राब्लम येतात पण त्याचा मुख्य‍ कारण त्याच वजन आहे. वजन कमी केला की सार् काही ठीक होइल. औषधे दिले आहेत किशोर भाईला." "Kalpana told me that most men have some problems at this age, but most of his issues are likely because of him being overweight. If he reduces his weight, everything will be fine. She has prescribed medicines for him."

"ठीक आहे," she said. "जेव्हा घरी असशील थोडीशी काळजी घे त्याची." "Ok fine. When you are here, take care of him."

"ठीक आहे आई," I said. "Ok mother."

After some silence, she said, "मयुरी तू कॉलेज वरून थेट घरी येतेस ते बर् आहे पण शनिवारी आणि रविवरी आलीस तर आणि बर् होइल." "It's good that you visit directly after college but it would be better if you come early mornings on the weekends."

I remember she made that suggestion earlier, as Sanjay's classes were on that day, but it felt rather weird, so I wasn't comfortable with it. I often visited my father's office on Saturdays, so it wasn't a good day for me either.

Clearing my throat, I said, "पण आई संजयचे क्लासेस असतात सकाळी म्हणून मी त्याला डिस्टर्ब होइल म्हणून येत नाही." "But mother Sanjay's classes are in the morning. So I don't come, as that would disturb him."

"सकाळी शांत असत सार् काही. मी सुध्दा देवळात जाते आणि संजय क्लासेस मध्ये बिझी असतो. मग तीच नाही का योग्य वेळ तुला किशोर भाई बरोबर घालवायला?" "Everything is quiet in the morning. I am at the temple and Sanjay is busy with his classes. Then isn't that the right time for you to spend with Kishore bhai?"

My cheeks turned a shade of crimson as I struggled to find the right words to respond. I experienced a knot tightening in my stomach as I listened to Sanjay's mother's words. The idea of starting my mornings with Kishore bhai seemed like a dangerous proposition. It was a secret I couldn't afford to reveal, especially considering the consequences it could have on my relationship with Sanjay. I desperately tried to come up with a convincing response, searching for the right words to explain my hesitation. "नाही आई," I pleaded, my voice tinged with anxiety. "No mother."

But Sanjay's mother seemed unfazed by my protests. She saw right through my feeble attempts to divert her attention. "जे काय होयचा ते एकांतात झालेला बर्," she said sternly. "किशोर भाई सारखे पुरुष जास्त कंट्रोल नाही करू शकत. म्हणुनच तुला म्हंटला होत की औषधे सुरु करुण घे." "Whatever needs to happen, it's better if it happens when you are alone with him. Men like Kishore bhai can't control for too long. That's why I told you to get those pills started at the earliest."

I was stunned. She was fully aware of the ramifications and yet suggested that I visit their place early in the morning. The thought of succumbing to my desires frightened me, but the temptation was too powerful to resist. Kishore bhai had a way of captivating me, making me forget all reason and self-control. As hesitant as I was, I couldn't help but consider going along with her suggestion, knowing very well the consequences. It was a dangerous game, but one that I was willing to play, knowing that control was no longer possible.

"हो मी बघते आई," I mumbled. "Yes. Let me look into it, mother."

"आणी तें औषधे विसरु नकोस. तो निरोध नाही वापरणार," she said rather emphatically, her words echoing in my mind, reminding me of the consequences that awaited me.

"पण आई," I pleaded. "लग्ना नंतर कस होणार?" "But mother how would it all happen after marriage?"

"लग्ना नंतर औषध आणि निरोध या गोष्टींची काय गरज?" "After marriage, what's the need for medicine and condoms?"

I couldn't resist experiencing a sense of dread as I contemplated her words. I intended to debate the choice of contraceptive pills and condoms, but she wanted me to do away with it altogether. Her insistence on not using any form of protection made me realize the gravity of the situation. The consequences of our actions would be far-reaching and unpredictable, leaving me torn between my desires and the potential risks involved. Sanjay's mother's actions only reinforced the idea that there was an unspoken desire to conceive as soon as possible. As I thought about it more, I realized that perhaps there was more to this cultural expectation than I had initially understood. Maybe it was not just about the physical act of conceiving, but also about fulfilling societal norms and expectations. The pressure to conceive quickly seemed to stem from a deep-rooted belief that having children was not just a choice but a duty towards the family. Sanjay's mother seemed to imply that I was supposed to conceive from Kishore bhai, although she didn't say it explicitly, perhaps trusting the instincts of a woman in me to make the right choice.

My discussions with Sanjay's mother culminated rather quickly. Perhaps in the first month and a half, so even before the first Diwali, I clearly understood where our relationship was headed. After that initial understanding, she didn't indulge in such discussions anymore, which reassured me I had made the right choice. She turned a blind eye to my actions and only interjected or interrupted if she wanted to warn me about something.

It was difficult for Sanjay to come to terms with the realization that his own mother was complicit. Even though I mentioned this to him several times subtly, he refused to believe it. Despite his initial disbelief, Sanjay eventually accepted the reality of his mother's complicity in his cuckolding. This acceptance is clear in some of his stories, where he portrays his mother as an accomplice in his cuckolding endeavors. Indeed, it is utterly impossible for me to experience such debauchery, hailing from a conservative family background in a conservative middle-class neighborhood, without the support of his mother's complicity in his cuckolding.

Chapter 11: Lessons from Mamta

Around that time, the metal door that cordoned off the common patio between Kishore bhai's and Sanjay's flat was being constructed. I felt strange at first, but Sanjay's mother had already told me about it, and even Sanjay mentioned it. It was primarily to keep vendors and strangers off the common patio. Even others from the chawl felt it was rather odd, but they were longtime neighbors and had corner flats, so perhaps they came to terms thinking about the close association with Kishore bhai and Sanjay's family.

All of this happened rather quickly, perhaps only a few weeks after the Ganesh festival, so I wasn't entirely sure that it was primarily meant to give me private moments with Kishore bhai. I was still forming my connections with the folks in the building and hadn't uncovered everything yet. During my visits, I would often run into various people and slowly learn about many of them. It was also around the time when Mamta was getting married, and that's when I ran into the well-known sisters of the building several times and got to know them very well. There was a lot of hustle and bustle in their flats, and they themselves were often standing in the common part of the patio near the stairs.