Ballerina

"So while I'm not...unhappy," Connie said, summing up her new marriage, "I'm not exactly thrilled. But then, I don't look like you, so please don't think you won't find someone truly amazing."

Before Morgan could reply, Connie leaned toward then said, "Looking back, I wish I'd have had the confidence to date a younger man. I actually got asked out once by a very attractive guy who was maybe in his late 20's, but I couldn't take him seriously, you know? But now? Well, I guess I'll never know."

She looked right at Morgan then said, "Just don't close yourself off to...new possibilities, okay?"

"Oh. No. I...I'll definitely keep an open mind," Morgan told her as she wondered how in the world that subject came up at this exact time as she hadn't so much as mentioned Jake.

"So...is there anyone in your life?" Connie asked as they ordered their food.

"Um...no. Not...not really," Morgan replied, being mostly honest as Jake wasn't exactly 'in her life'. "I'm just recently back in the area, and you know, trying to get my bearings."

"Well, no hurries, sweetie. Take your time, and above all else, do not settle. Please, please promise me you won't do that."

"I...I promise," Morgan told her before the conversation shifted to ballet.

Morgan now felt like mentioning Becca would be inappropriate and lead to her 'relationship' with Jake, so she just let Connie talk about classes, ages, and times.

"But honestly? I'm really thinking about selling the studio."

That comment surprised Morgan who asked her if business was down.

"No. It's great. It's...fantastic. I'm not into politics, so this isn't meant to endorse anyone or anything. But I can always tell when people feel good about spending money, and ballet is a luxury on which people are spending. Every class is maxed out, and I even increased my fees for the first time in five years, and no one complained. So, no, it isn't that. I'm just really tired, you know?"

Not sure what else to say, Morgan mentioned her own interest in dancing again, and before she could even finish explaining why, Connie insisted she stop by the studio and 'suit up'.

"This will be SO much fun!" Connie said, nearly gushing with excitement.

"Well, okay. I don't know when I'll start working—or buy a home—but until I do, I have time, and the money to..."

"Nonsense! You're not giving me a dime. No way. Uh-uh. It'll just be me and you flitting around in tutus again!"

"Just like old times," Morgan said as they both laughed recalling their early years when ballet was everything to both of them.

"Hey, easy on the 'old' thing, okay?" Connie warned with a smile

Morgan laughed then nibbled at her lunch as they chatted about the past. An hour later, Morgan promised to stop by in a day or two and wished her dear friend all the best.

"You, too, hon. It was so good seeing you again!"

After carefully weighing the pros and cons of several plans all the rest of that day and the next, and then sharing them with Anna to get her input, Morgan decided to buy the smallest house in the new development. It made sense since it was just her and Anna, and this way she could afford some nicer finishes without having to borrow any money.

She'd have about $25,000 left over, and that would have to last her until the house was built and until she could find work. She had to agree with her longtime friend that the economy was doing well, as there were 'Help Wanted' signs everywhere she looked. The only issue would be finding a job she liked or at least didn't dread going to every day.

After making her decision, she headed to the dance studio Thursday morning where Connie was in the middle of a class for girls ages 5-7. As Morgan stood there waiting for her friend to notice she'd arrived, she enjoyed watching the little girls work on their positions and other basics. In a brief moment, years of memories and happy times came flooding back to her as she recalled her own earliest lessons in a ballet studio.

"Morgan!" Connie called out interrupting her trip down memory lane.

Morgan waved back as her friend hurried over.

"Can you change and dance with us?"

"What? Now?" Morgan asked. "Oh, wait. You're telling me this is the level I need to start out at, huh?"

Connie laughed then said, "Not at all. But you do need to start somewhere. And I have everything you need in my office. Just go grab what you need in your size and come join us.

"Well, I guess that's the reason I came, so give me a couple of minutes, and I'll be right there!"

Morgan loved pulling on the white tights again, and she smiled when she saw herself in a tutu and ballet shoes for the first time in many, many years. She pulled her hair into a ponytail, which she'd put in a bun after this, and walked out onto the dance floor—another longtime first.

"Girls? Let me have your attention!" Connie called out after turning off the music.

The little girls walked over and made a semicircle around her as another adult walked up.

"Girls? This is one of my oldest...um...dearest friends, Ms. Anderson. Can you all say 'hello' and welcome her to our class?"

All of the girls said, "Hello, Ms. Anderson!" in unison, causing Morgan to smile and thank them for the warm welcome.

"She was one of the best dancers I ever knew when we were much younger, and she's going to start dancing again, and we are the lucky group that gets to have her with us first!" Connie explained.

"Okay. Everyone back on the rails! Chop, chop!" she called out.

"You, too, Ms. Anderson!" Connie told her friend.

"Be nice, okay?" Morgan said, cringing slightly as she walked over to an empty spot and did what the other girls were doing.

"Okay! First position!"

Half an hour later, Morgan realized how rusty she was. But she also realized her body still remembered most of what it had learned. The issues were involved grace and timing. But with time, she knew she could still dance. She'd never be the dancer she'd been when she was 15 or 20, but she couldn't wait to get back into a regular routine.

When the class was over, Connie asked Morgan how she felt she did, and she modestly replied, "Okay, I suppose, for having such a lengthy break."

"Well, you're welcome here at any time, and I absolutely will not take any money from you, okay? You come and go anytime you like, even if I'm not here. In fact, I'm going to give you the alarm code in case you ever want to come in at some crazy hour."

"Connie, are you sure? Because I'm not sure I want that kind of responsibility."

"Oh, okay. Sorry. I think I just got carried away with you being back in my life. That may have been a little much, but how about coming over for dinner one evening? And if you have a date, bring him, too."

Morgan hadn't thought about Jake all that much since meeting her old friend for lunch, but she smiled when she thought about Sunday, something she still hadn't mentioned to Connie, but suddenly, doing so somehow just felt right.

"I kind of recently met someone. As in—just met. So it's too early to ask him to join me, but he's a very nice guy. Anyway, he has a five-year old daughter who wears a ballerina costume every day."

"Bring her in here!" Connie said. "I'll find room for her, okay?"

"I'll have to ask her father, but I'm sure she would be thrilled."

"And I want meet this man of yours," Connie said with a devious smile.

"Well, as I said, we only just met. I had lunch with him and his daughter, and we're going to the Science Center this Sunday. So bringing him is probably a little premature."

"Ah, okay. I understand," her friend said. "I'm must extremely jealous—no matter who he is."

Connie smiled then asked, "So...is he handsome?"

Morgan smiled back then said, "Oh, he's very handsome."

"What does he do? Is he rich?"

Morgan gave her a little 'be serious' kind of look then said, "He and his father own an excavation business, so he has a good job, but he's not rich."

"Sorry. I got a little carried away. But if you knew how mundane my life was you'd understand. But enough of that. I'm just so glad to know you're back here and dancing again!"

"Me, too, Connie," Morgan told her sincerely before she went to change out of the tights and tutu.

She hadn't even come close to perspiring let alone breaking a sweat, so there was no need to shower again. The two women talked for a few more minutes before her next class showed up then hugged goodbye.

As Morgan left the studio, she realized she hadn't been this happy since her husband was alive. Between her decision on the house, her return to ballet, being near Anna and meeting Jake, life somehow seemed sweet again. Very sweet indeed.

Sunday morning, Morgan was trying to remember the last time she'd been nervous about anything as she woke up feeling both anxious and excited about spending her day with Jake and Becca. She was still slightly sore from her first practice in many years, but it was a good kind of sore, and the kind she knew would pass once she got back into the routine.

She wanted to wear something nice, but it was going to be a typical February day which meant a low of 35 and a forecast high of 46. She hated wearing another sweater, but it was just too cold for anything else. Besides, whatever she wore would likely be hidden under a heavy coat most of the time anyway, so she gave in and chose something practical.

Her late husband had always liked seeing her in black because it was such a nice contrast with her light-blonde hair and blue eyes. She could also wear a pretty white blouse underneath it, and she had one that had a black tab where the collar met that would be perfect with the black sweater. A pair of dark-gray pants and warm, sensible shoes completed her look which really would be mostly hidden under a black coat. But 'such is life' she told herself.

At least her long, soft hair would be visible, and with some sheer foundation and a little mascara, Morgan was very satisfied with the way she looked and laughed when she found herself hoping Jake would like it, too. Even just thinking about doing something to please him made her laugh, but it was a pleasant, hopeful laugh that made her feel less apprehensive about what suddenly felt like a cavernous difference in their ages.

The nervousness waned until her doorbell rang at 9:32. When it did, Morgan's heart didn't race, but it definitely sped up. She went to the door, smoothed her hair, then opened it. When she saw Jake clean-shaven and nicely dressed, it beat a little faster. But seeing the little ballerina all bundled up made everything feel just right.

"Oh, my! You are so pretty!" Morgan said to Becca as she let them in.

"Well, thank you," Jake said, as though she'd spoken to him while he tried not to laugh.

Morgan laughed, too, as they tried to decide what to do once they were standing face to face. She was very relieved when Jake reached out to hug her, and she gladly embraced him.

Before she could tell him he look handsome rather than pretty, he told her she was.

"You look amazing. Again," he said after stepping back and quickly looking her up and down.

"Oh. Well, thank you. And you look quite handsome yourself."

"And you look bootiful, just like me!" Becca told her.

Morgan laughed then bent down and said, "Ah! Thank you, sweetheart. And yes, you are very beautiful."

The sky was clear and cold as they drove north into Seattle, and everything had a kind of 'stark beauty' to it as they watched little curls of steam coming off of buildings here and there as the temperature gradually warmed a little bit.

Jake asked Morgan how her week had gone, and she felt extremely comfortable opening up to him and shared everything that had happened.

Becca was awed by the ballet studio and asked if she could go before Morgan could finish explaining things to her father.

"I have to talk with your daddy first, sweetie."

"Daddy? Can I go? Please???"

"Becca? Morgan and I have to talk first, okay?" he reminded her.

"Okay. But then I can go, right?"

The grownups laughed and her dad said, "We'll see."

Jake let Morgan know how happy he was for as far as her choice of homes, and also about getting back together with her friend.

"It's been a really incredible week," she told him. She waited for him to look her way then smiled at him in a way that told him he was included in the incredible part.

"That goes for me, too," he told her with a smile. "I've felt like maybe my luck is turning around since the open house."

Morgan smiled again then heard herself say, "Yes, me, too."

Jake noticed then decided to press his luck by extending his right hand as he glanced at her again. Morgan glanced back, smiled, then took it. Neither of them spoke for a minute or so, but each of them squeezed the other's hand back as they drove along.

"So is science an interest of yours?" Morgan asked, mostly to break up the quiet.

"Yes. Actually it is. I love reading about things like black holes, quasars, the Higgs Boson, or seeing the photos of Ultima Thule."

"Ultima Higgs what?" Morgan asked.

Jake neither laughed nor smiled. Those were arcane subjects, and unless one had an interest in them, the average person wouldn't be familiar with any of them other than having maybe heard of black holes.

"Oh. The New Horizons spacecraft that flew by Pluto was redirected to this small object in the Kuiper Belt called Ultima Thule and recently flew by it. The images were incredible and the fact that they used occultation at that distance was mind blowing!"

"Um...no offense, but that didn't help," Morgan replied kind of sheepishly.

Jake explained it until she understood then tackled the Higgs Boson in very simple terms. When he finished, Morgan shrugged her shoulders again then apologized for asking.

Jake laughed then told her he only understood at the most basic levels.

"Then you're a level—or two—above me," Morgan let him know.

"You're not dating Stephen Hawking," he told her with a smile before quickly correcting himself. "Sorry. I don't know why I said 'dating'."

"I wasn't offended," Morgan replied very sweetly as she squeezed his hand again.

"No?" Jake said. "Hmmm. I'm very happy to hear you say that."

Morgan smiled then sat there staring at him while trying not to stare. Jake really was a very good looking guy, and for the first time since losing her husband she felt an old, familiar aching deep inside her; an ache that made no sense considering the age of the man causing it.

"It's just up ahead," Jake said as he exited the freeway, unaware of what his date had been thinking.

Morgan was more than pleasantly surprised at how much she enjoyed the day. Every exhibit had been not only interesting but informative, and more often than not, some kind of incredible visual experience to boot.

"I liked the butterflies the best!" Becca told them as they left the science center. They'd grabbed a pretzel for lunch, and now all of them were very hungry, so Jake promised dinner on the way home.

"How about you?" Jake asked Morgan.

"I really liked the butterflies, too," she told him. She almost said 'holding hands with you' but decided against it. Instead, she posed the same question to Jake.

"Being here with you," he told her without a smile.

His words made her tummy flutter again, and she fessed up and told him what she'd almost said.

He reached over for her hand and Morgan happily let him have it. Unlike her husband's hands that were soft from working inside, Jake's were rough and calloused.

"Don't you operate heavy machinery?" Morgan finally asked.

Jake had felt her checking out his callouses a few times and laughed.

"Yes, but there are many times I have to grab a shovel or a pick axe and get at something the old fashioned way. Over the years, this is the result," he said as he held up his other hand. "It's not very sexy, but it's how I make my living."

Morgan was thinking just the opposite; that Jake's masculinity was very sexy, and that extended to his rather rough hands. Again, she was surprised to hear herself say that out loud.

"I think your hands are..."

He looked at her and she smiled. "I think...you...are sexy."

"Yeah? Really?" he replied.

"Yes. Really," she told him truthfully.

"That's how I've felt about you since I first saw you at the model home," he told her as he put his arm around her.

"I was just working up the nerve to say, you know...how young I'm not...and now I'm afraid to say it," she told him as they moved across the parking lot.

"It won't matter, whatever it is," Jake told her, again without a smile.

She smiled at him, but Jake saw it was a different kind of smile, and it told him this was an issue she was struggling with.

"I'm 30. In case you're wondering," he said, hoping that might somehow help.

"Oh," was all Morgan said in return as she thought about where she was and what she doing when she was 30. "Preparing for Anna's 5th birthday," she told herself as Jake hit the button on his key fob to unlock the doors.

The overall tone of the day changed dramatically after that, and Jake was beginning to think Morgan would never see him the way he saw her. But the truth was, it was Morgan who was thinking Jake couldn't possibly really be interested in a woman her age. She'd had a pleasant day, and as much as she'd like to have more of them with him and his sweet daughter, she realized that once she 'let the cat out of the bag', he'd find a reason to be busy every day from then on.

Becca fell asleep in the warm cab, and as Morgan looked at her, she quietly said, "I'm 45, Jake."

He was deep in his own thoughts when she spoke, and it took him a second to 'come back to life'.

"You're the most beautiful 45-year old woman I've ever seen," he replied without thinking.

Morgan saw his facial expression, and more importantly, his eyes when he spoke.

"Don't you want other children?" she asked very quietly and tactfully.

"No. I really don't. Why? Do you?" he asked, missing the obvious point.

"Me? Oh, heavens no!" she replied immediately. "No. Uh-uh."

"So we agree on that then, right?"

She sat there just staring at him for a few seconds then said, "Yes. Yes, we do."

Jake finally smiled then asked without any forewarning or explanation, "Spender or saver?"

"What?" Morgan replied.

"Well, we agree on children, and that's one of the big five. Or...is it four?"

"I uh, I'm lost. Again."

"You know. Children, money, religion. Those big-ticket items."

"Oh. Gee. Duh!" she said once she understood.

"I'm not a big spender, and I don't think I'll ever earn enough to be a big saver, but I do like having something for the proverbial rainy day," she told him.

"I've been a saver for as long as I can remember. Except where the Ballerina is concerned."

Morgan was much less concerned about age and asked Jake about religion.

"Not really. You?"

"I was raised Methodist but haven't been in...well...30 years."

"Ah, okay. Since, well, since you..."

He didn't need to say since he was born, and Morgan was relieved he didn't.

"Politics?" he asked.

"Not really. I find most of them to be a bunch of wealthy hypocrites."

Jake chuckled then said, "You sound like my father."

He paused then added, "And me."

There was only one 'biggie' left, and neither of them wanted to ask. Sex was something neither of them had even thought about, at least not with regard to the other, and it seemed wholly inappropriate to bring it up.

And yet Morgan brought it up.

"I'm...very...open...when it comes to the um, you know, the other big issue."

Jake raised his eyebrows very high and said, "Oh, really?"

He was clearly teasing, and yet Morgan felt a little defensive all of a sudden.

"Well, yes," she said, as she slowly pulled her hand away.