Beach House

"Well, I'm not perfect, Brock. I'm far from it. You, on the other hand..."

She gently raised his shirt revealing those very well-defined abs making her feel even more anxious and unsure of herself.

"Your body is perfect," she told him before she pulled him close, kissed him, then gave herself to him completely.

Afterwards, Michelle lay there in his arms for some time before Brock finally had to ask, "Was that okay?"

She looked up at him and said, "It was more than okay. It was wonderful. For the first time in years I feel very...loved."

"You are, you know," Brock told her.

For the first time she felt completely at ease with him and also for the first time, she was able to honestly tell him, "So are you. Loved, that is."

"I'm glad. I love being with you, Michelle."

"And I'm very happy you do, because I love being with you," she said, knowing full well it sounded like something two high-school seniors would say to one another after their first time. Even so, it was meant sincerely.

She looked into his eyes and said, "You not only make me feel loved, you make me feel safe."

"I'll always do my best to make you feel both of those things—and many others—for as long as we're together."

"I uh, I should probably get back over to my side," Michelle said reluctantly after a long moment of quiet.

"Oh, right. I lost all track of time." Brock smiled at her and said, "That happens when I'm with you."

"We don't have to tell the kids, you know," Michelle said as she sat up.

"Oh. If you don't want them to know, that's fine," Brock told her.

"No. I'm fine with letting them know. I just didn't want you to feel like we had to say something right away. Or ever—if you change your mind," she quickly explained.

"It's completely up to you, Michelle. I'll support you either way. But I'm not changing my mind. I promise you on that."

She sat there and just looked at him trying to make sense of what had just happened and wondering if she'd completely misread him. What if he was the consummate 'player' who'd just played her for...all she was worth? A quick roll in the hay only to pretend he barely knew her the next morning.

No. She'd been wrong before, but everything about all she'd ever learned told her that this wasn't a game to him. She was as sure as she'd ever been he was sincere, and until she had reason to believe otherwise, that was good enough.

"I think I'd like them to know," she said sweetly before leaning over and kissing him softly. "Now I really need to get dressed and um...head home."

Brock laughed quietly at the thought of ten steps as 'heading home' then said, "Good night, beautiful."

"Good night, handsome," she said back. "See you soon."

"You can count on it," he said with a smile.

Michelle barely slept as she relived the last few hours over and over while trying decide what to tell her children. She even quietly laughed out loud when she ran through her options as to what to say.

"Kids? Mommy slept with the handsome neighbor man last night."

"Teague? Emma? Mommy finally had sex after years of being celibate."

The last time she glanced at the clock she was too afraid to fall asleep so she got up and took a shower then made herself some coffee. Unable to resist, she went out onto the balcony hoping he might be there.

Jake was waiting for her, wagging his tail and giving her that look.

"Hey, boy!" she said as she bent over to pet him with her free hand.

"I think he likes you, too," she heard a deep, male voice say.

"Hi!" Michelle said happily as Brock came closer.

"Did you sleep?" he asked before softly kissing her.

"No. Did you?"

"Not a wink. It's gonna be a long day."

"And you can't even take a nap. Poor thing!"

"Ah, but I have some incredible new memories to sustain me until I can make more."

Michelle put her cup down then put her arms around him and said, "Mmmm. I can't wait to make more of those memories."

As she kissed him deeply, neither of them heard Emma as she got up and went to find her mom. She saw them through the sliding glass window, and silently stood there watching, unable to believe what she was seeing. She quietly ran back into the bedroom and started shaking her brother.

"Teague! Wake up! Come on, Mom's kissing Brock!"

Teague's eyes opened slowly then shot open wide as he flew out of bed.

The kiss was just ending, but their mom still had her arms around him as Teague got to where he could see them.

He looked at Emma who started giggling and that made Teague laugh.

In less than a second, Michelle's brain realized she was being watched and pulled her arms down so fast they could have left 'rug burns' behind.

Brock was laughing, too, as the two children were standing together smiling and pointing at their mom.

"I think I may die of embarrassment," she said.

"I uh, I think they know now," Brock said as he tried to stop chuckling. "Want me to go with you?"

Without answering, Michelle went inside knowing Brock would follow.

"Well. Good morning!" she said to her children.

Both of them just laughed and smiled.

"I guess you saw that, huh?" she said.

"Uh-uh," Emma said. "You were kissing Brock."

"Um...yes I was," she told them.

"Are you gonna marry him?" Teague asked immediately.

"Oh. Um, no. Well, I don't think so," she said trying not to stammer.

Brock knelt down and said to the kids as he looked up at Michelle, "Not right away, anyhow."

"Oh, okay," Teague said. "Mom? Can we have pancakes today?"

Amazed that this super-huge, major issue had just magically gone away, all she could say was, "One or two?"

"Two, please!" Teague said.

"One for me, please!" Emma called out.

"And you?" Michelle asked as she turned toward Brock.

"I can put away some pancakes," he informed her.

"That's fine. Just tell me when to stop making them, okay?"

He put his arms around her and said, "I never want you to stop."

He smiled then whispered, "Making it with me."

She hit him playfully and felt her cheeks turn slightly red as the kids stood there watching. She knew they hadn't heard, but it still embarrassed her.

"No worries," she whispered back before biting his ear lobe on the side the kids couldn't see.

"Ouch! What was that for?" he asked unable to stop smiling.

"For good measure," she told him sweetly before saying, "Okay. Anyone wanna help me make the batter?"

For the first time in...she couldn't remember how long, both of her children were helping her in the kitchen as Brock stood there watching and taking it all in.

"Mommy? Do I get to go to camp today?" Emma asked.

Brock raised an eyebrow as Michelle said, "Yes. As soon as I fill out the paperwork."

"Yes!" she said pumping her tiny fist.

"It's SO much fun!" Teague assured her.

"I know. I already talked to one of the cownslers," she said trying to pronounce the new word.

"I'm impressed!" Brock said.

"She told Mommy she needs to hurry up and fall in love with you because all the other girls want to marry you."

"Emma! That is not what she said, sweetheart," Michelle said feeling embarrassed yet again.

"She said you need to make a move soon so—are we moving?"

The adults both laughed as Michelle sighed.

"No, honey. We're not moving, okay?"

She looked over at Brock who said, "I guess I'm the one who made the move, huh?"

That caused Emma to look right at him and ask where he was moving to which brought on another round of polite laughter.

"I'm confused!" Emma said before crossing her arms which cause even more laughter.

Brock moved closer to Michelle and said, "I could get used to this."

"Me, too," she said sweetly.

She turned to her children then asked, "Okay, who's first?"

"Me!" both Teague and Emma said together.

"Rock, scissors, paper!" their mom told them again.

Teague lost—again—and Emma stuck her tongue out. Brock tried not to laugh as Michelle gently corrected her.

"Is it always this much fun?" he asked.

"No. Sometimes it's even better," she told him as she poured the batter for Emma's single flapjack.

"I think it's pretty wonderful," Brock told her as Michelle watched the batter bubble.

After breakfast, Michelle sent the kids to brush their teeth and get dressed.

"Hey, I don't have to make lunch today!" she said.

"Nope. Emma will be eating with the other kids. Hey, maybe I could get away to, you know, have lunch with you."

Michelle blushed again when Brock wiggled his eyebrows indicating she was on his menu.

The kids were in the bedroom and even though she'd always been shy about saying anything sexual she couldn't help saying, "Well, if you don't mind...eating me...out..."

Brock roared with laughter and Michelle nearly died of embarrassment and disbelief that she'd actually said that.

"Shhhh! The kids will..."

"What's going on?" Teague asked as he ran in with his toothbrush in his mouth.

"Oh...nothing," his mom said trying to hide her red cheeks.

"Okay," the boy said taking her words at face value before going back into the bathroom.

"You're bashful about sex, aren't you?" Brock teased.

"Brock! Please!" she said knowing he was treading on an area she found difficult to talk about.

"It's okay. It's actually kind of...sweet."

Quietly, Michelle said, "I know it's silly. I have two children and the stork didn't bring them, but talking about it is...well, it's never been easy for me."

Brock was still smiling and Michelle felt even sillier.

"What? Why are you smiling at me like that?" she asked defensively.

"Oh, I don't know," was all he said in response.

"You think I'm a prude, don't you?"

"No."

His answer was very unconvincing and Michelle's face told him she knew it wasn't.

"Okay. Maybe a little," he admitted. "But we can change that."

"Good luck with that," Michelle said as she felt even more blood rush to her face. She hadn't blushed in forever and now she was doing it almost constantly with Brock.

She took a quick look at his amazing body and handsome, young face and understood why. And at the same time she found herself amazed that she of all people had 'landed' a guy like Brock Nothen.

"Maybe there is a God," she said to herself with a smile.

"Kids? Come on! Let's get a move on!" Michelle called out hoping to get away without any more talk about...that.

"I need to get down there, too," Brock said as he stood up to leave.

"Oh, sure," she said forgetting they weren't going together.

He walked over to kiss her goodbye just as the kids walked in.

He looked down at them and Teague was smiling.

"It's okay. You can kiss her," he said authoritatively.

Brock looked at Emma who nodded as she said very innocently, "Go on. You have to make a move, remember?"

When he and Michelle laughed so loudly it nearly scared the kids, they joined in, too, once they realized something was funny. They had no idea what was funny, but they enjoyed the fact that everyone was happy and having fun rather than the mood being somber and quiet the way it had been most of the time since the divorce.

Michelle tried to take a nap but knew it wasn't happening as she continued to think about last night while anticipating what Brock might be...eating...for lunch.

She was trying to understand why she was so reluctant to even mention things involving intimacy and could only assume it was because she'd been raised 'to be a good girl' her whole life, and being a good girl meant not doing...that.

"But everyone does that, don't they?" she thought to herself.

"Yes, but not everyone talks about it," her 'other self' replied.

She nearly blushed again when she recalled finding a book in her parent's bedroom when she was maybe 16. She was looking for something else when she saw the title which embarrassed her to her no end.

It was called Nice Girls Do by Irene Kassorla. Michelle read the information on the inside flap and nearly died of embarrassment thinking about her mom and her dad and the two of them doing...that.

The bigger concern was why her mother would be reading a book that encouraged nice girls to 'do it'? She couldn't look any further and put it back, and even now, some 20 years later, she still felt a sense of shame for even thinking about...that. However, she finally understood why her mom had read it and Michelle started wondering if perhaps she might benefit from it.

For the next few minutes, she mentally arm wrestled with herself about the reasons for being so, well...prudish. What gain was there for being so very private about such things to the point she had difficulty even talking about them with a man she very much wanted to make love with? Why had she internalized these things so deeply? Most importantly, was there any reason to leave them buried so deeply or should she challenge herself to try and...what? Loosen up? Lighten up? Join the party?

After a lot of internal back and forth she decided she would make an effort to at least try. She had no idea what that meant or how to go about it, but she'd really, really enjoyed making love with Brock, and if this could help...why not give it a whirl?

Three hours later, she had her first chance to sort of 'spread her wings' and yet she felt downright silly even thinking about saying anything 'sexy' when Brock showed up for 'lunch'.

That didn't change the fact that she loved every second of their lovemaking. Brock was so caring and tender and attentive that her body exploded in waves of pleasure several times as he used his fingers and his tongue along with 'all that God had given him' to cause her to react like that.

"Wow!" she said when it was over.

"Yeah. No kidding," he told her.

They lay there for a while before Michelle asked, "Did you really think I'm a prude?"

He turned over immediately and looked her in the eye and said, "What brought that on?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm just worried about how I, you know...compare. I know you've been with a lot of other women, and I'm not exactly...thrilling in bed."

"You're perfect in bed," he told her. "And your body is perfect, too."

"That was going to be my next question," she admitted. "When I'm...with you...I just feel...fat and old and...well, I was going to say 'ugly' but I'll say 'unattractive'."

"Wow. You're carrying around a lot of baggage."

Michelle went to make a counterpoint but Brock kept talking.

"All of that is in your head, Michelle. All of it. You're not only not unattractive, you're beautiful. And you're not fat. You're perfect. And you are most definitely not old," he told her as he gently played with her hair.

"But I'm still a prude," she said trying to find something to beat herself up with.

"I don't think you are, but if it really concerns you, then maybe we can work on that. You know, talk about what we're doing when we make love and what feels good or what you like or want."

"You see, I'm already feeling queasy just thinking about that," she told him.

"Then we won't talk about it," he said.

He ran his hand along her cheek and said, "None of that matters to me, Michelle. I do want you to enjoy lovemaking with me, and keep in mind, I have my own issues. When you tell me things like this I can't help but wonder if maybe I'm not um...enough...for you, but I refuse to let that keep from doing my best to let you know how much I care about you or how much I..."

"How much you what?" she asked, her heart rate increasing dramatically.

"I think you know," he told her not wanting to ruin the moment by saying something so important so fast.

"Yes, I think maybe I do," she told him knowing she was feeling that, too. Perhaps it was best to leave some things unsaid until there was a reason to say them. And with that, she let the her concerns about being prudish go. For now.

Michelle managed to fall asleep for nearly four hours after Brock left, and although she was still very tired when she woke up, she felt a lot better. And that's when she remembered why she was so exhausted, and remembering made her smile.

Teague had another great day, and Emma was as talkative as Michelle could remember when she went to pick them up.

"I made a friend today," Emma announced early on as she and Teague talked about their day. "Her name is Emily, and she stays in the bunkhouse, so can I stay there, too?"

"Me, too!" Teague said.

Michelle was both thrilled and as sad as she could ever remember. She knew it would be good for them to stay overnight, but she also knew she'd miss them like crazy. Then again, she knew the camp director, so maybe she could still spend time some amount of time with them each day. But with both of them being out of the beach house, that meant she could spend a lot of time with someone else.

"Are you both sure?" she asked.

Before the last syllable was out of her mouth both of her children shouted, "Yes!"

She discussed it with a very-tired Brock that evening who assured her she could see her kids anytime.

"Obviously, I'd love to have some time alone with you, but I really like having Teague and Emma around, so it's completely up to you."

"Well, if we really are going to have a long or long-er term relationship, it might be nice to be able to spend some time together alone," she told him.

"Starting tomorrow night, right?" he said, his eyes heavy with exhaustion.

"I suppose I could stand that," she teased before sitting on his lap and kissing him.

Feeling bold and remembering her promise, when she 'felt' him she moaned softly and said, "Mmmm. I love your cock."

Brock pulled away, smiled, then said, "Michelle? Is that really you or is this your evil twin sister?"

She hit him playfully then said, "Don't tease! That is very hard for me to do."

He pushed against her and said, "You make something very hard for me."

"Brock!" she said, pretending to be embarrassed.

But this time she wasn't. The truth was he did feel good, and she loved that he found her attractive enough for that to happen.

"I'm glad," she said quietly. "I love having that part of you hard—and inside me."

This time he didn't tease. He just sat there looking up at her.

"What?" she said.

"You know what," he told her again very quietly

"Yes. Yes, I do," she whispered back before lowering her head to kiss him.

Michelle managed not to cry when she dropped the kids off the following morning. They were so excited about staying, it made her unbelievably sad until she reminded herself they were happy about being with children their own age and not because they wouldn't be staying with their mom at the beach house.

But once she got in the car, she broke down and cried. It was silly, she knew, but she couldn't help it. Other than weekends with her ex, she'd never spent time away from them, and never so much time. Even the thought of being with Brock couldn't cheer her up. Until late that evening when he knocked on her door.

"Hi," he said with a smile when she opened the door.

"Hi," Michelle said back. "Come in."

Brock set a bottle of wine down on the kitchen counter then said, "I checked on the kids before I left, and they're doing just fine."

Just the mention of her children brought tears to Michelle's eyes.

"Oh, my goodness. I'm so sorry," Brock said as she blinked and did her best not to start crying again.

"It's...okay," she told him. "I'm just...I...miss my kids."

Brock put his arms around her and said, "I know. That you miss them so much says a lot about you. And everything it says is good."

She was dabbing her eyes with a napkin she reached behind Brock and said, "I love when you say sweet things to me."

He brushed her hair back, smiled, then told her, "It's easy to say them to someone as wonderful as you."

Michelle managed to smile back then said, "I don't mean to get into a big discussion, but have you really stopped to think about, you know, how old I am, and what you'd be getting into?"