Blast From the Past

His navigational aid took him into an older-looking apartment complex where he drove around until he found a spot to park in. Not sure where to go, he went to the office and waited for the woman sitting at the front desk to finish with a phone call. She looked to be about Abbie's age, and although it didn't matter, she was actually quite pretty. Not stunningly beautiful but definitely a reasonably attractive young woman. She had long, dark hair, a pretty face, and from a quick glance, an equally decent body.

He listened to her end of the conversation as she pleasantly dealt with what seemed to be a very angry tenant on the other end of the line. He saw her smile a couple of times as she did her best to calm the other person down, and Jeff noticed she had a smile that made her even more appealing. She was no Jennifer, but then, no one was.

She ended the call by telling this person they would send someone right over to take care of it then hung up. Without missing a beat, she looked up, smiled politely, and asked, "May I help you?"

"Oh, yes. Hi. I'm trying to find an old friend of mine, and the last information I have on him shows him living here. His name is John Jensen, and I was wondering if...."

"No. No way," the woman said.

"I'm, sorry?" Jeff said, as she smiled at him.

"Aren't you...Mr. Crisler?" she asked.

He pulled his head back slightly, tilted it down, then said, "Do I know you?"

The woman stood up and said, "Oh, my God! You're Abbie's dad. Abbie Crisler. From Camp Lester on Okinawa, right?"

As she came around the desk to hug him, the light finally came on.

"Emily? Are you Emily Jensen?"

"It's Jensen again, but it was Miller for nearly six years," she said as she hugged him.

"This is so crazy! I just got here last week, and my dad, who manages the apartments, hired me to work in the office. And here you come walking in out of nowhere like a blast from the past!"

She hugged him hard, and too surprised to do anything but hug her back, he said, "Abbie's the one who told me your dad lived in the Seattle area. I decided to look him up, and this is the last-known address I could find on him."

"Well, you're at the right place," she said. "He's lived here for, gosh...ten years now?"

"Is he in?" Jeff asked.

"He's out right at the moment. We had a water leak in one of the units and someone just called because their smoke alarm needs to be replaced. You'd have thought the place was actually on fire the way he was yelling at me!" she said cheerfully.

"You were very calm and...gracious," he told her.

"It doesn't do any good to get angry. It just makes them angry back and it's hard enough getting and keeping good tenants," she said before moving back around her desk.

"Sit down, please!" Emily said.

Jeff took a seat and watched her watching him.

"It's so good to see you! Okinawa was one of the happiest times of my life. Abbie and I playing outside all the time—or at your house. How is she, by the way? We don't really keep in touch these days. And how are you and how's that gorgeous wife of yours?" Emily bubbled.

Jeff put on his best face and answered her questions one at a time.

"I'm uh...I'm okay," he began. "I moved back here a year ago when I retired and have a place out in Orting now. Abbie graduated from college last year then married a guy she met and fell in love while in school, and now they're living in Colorado and doing real well."

"Oh, right! I think maybe I remember her mentioning that on Facebook. They don't have kids yet, do they?"

"Not yet," Jeff told her.

"She's as beautiful as her mom," Emily said with a smile.

"Yes. Yes, she is," he said. "But her mom...she um...she passed away a couple of years ago."

"What? Oh, my God. I had no idea. Abbie never said a word about it."

Emily got up and came around and insisted on hugging him again.

"I really had no idea and I'm so, so sorry," she told him.

Emily squeezed him hard and her sympathy nearly made him emotional. He held it together, though and Emily again moved back to her desk as he told her what happened.

"That is just so awful!" she said sincerely. "Is there anything I can do?"

"No. Thank you, but it's been two years, and I really am doing okay," he told her hoping to make the issue go away.

When he glanced over at her, Jeff saw her eyes glistening with tears.

"I loved your wife so much. She was like a second mom to me."

"Thank you, Emily. That's so kind of you to say. Yeah, she was pretty amazing."

He saw her reach over for the tissue box on her desk.

"Sorry, I know she's been gone for a couple of years, but to me, I...I just lost her. I don't mean to be so sad, but I really did love her."

"Me, too," Jeff said quietly.

Now really wanting to change the subject he said as cheerfully as he could, "So tell me about yourself, Emily. Abbie says you're married and have kids."

Just as the last words left his mouth, he remembered what his daughter had actually told him, and he wished he could retrieve them.

"I'm doing okay," she said with that same optimistic smile. "I do have kids. Both girls. Charlotte is five and Ava is three."

She hesitated then said, "But I'm not married anymore. Well, legally I am. I filed for divorce around six months ago so I should be officially single again very soon."

Feeling like...shit...Jeff said, "Emily, I'm really sorry. I just...."

"No. It's okay. Really. I thought I knew the man I married, but evidently I wasn't enough for him so...."

The door opened, and Jeff saw Emily look up and her smile fade before coming back.

"Dad! You'll never guess who's here!" she said.

Jeff stood up and faced the man he hadn't seen in many years. His face was very thin, he hadn't shaved in a couple of days, and his hair was pretty much a mess.

"Hey. You look very familiar," Jensen said. "Don't tell me. I never forget a face."

Emily said, "Think Okinawa. Think...neighbors. Think...Abbie."

Jensen's face lit up when he said, "Captain Crisler! Jeff Crisler. The lawyer."

"Guilty as charged, your honor," Jeff said as they shook hands.

"Jesus, man. You look good. Really good. You taking youth serum or something?"

John Jensen did not look really good or even good, for that matter. He'd aged dramatically, and Jeff rightly sensed there was a whole lot of hard drinking behind that weathered-looking, emaciated face and scrawny body.

He didn't mention what he was thinking, he only said, "You're lookin' pretty good yourself, there, Devil Dog."

"Come on in. Have a seat. Let's catch up," he said. "Em? Get us some coffee."

He didn't say 'please' and it was obvious he wasn't asking. The pot was closer to him than her, but she got up and poured two cups anyway. She handed one to her dad then smiled at Jeff and said, "And one for you, Mr. Crisler."

"Jeff. Please," he said as he thanked her.

"Okay. It's just a little weird, you know? You seemed so much older than me back then."

"I still am," he told her with a smile. "Older, that is."

"You're the same number of years older, of course, but you don't seem...older anymore," she said with a smile. "I'll let you and Dad catch up, but please say 'goodbye' before you leave, okay?"

"I will," he promised as she closed the thin, wooden door behind her.

"So. Look at you. Damn. I'm not kiddin'. You really look good, JAG man. How old are you anyway?"

"I'm 46," Jeff told him, a little surprised at the directness of his question.

"I just turned 49 and I look ten years older than you," John said, shaking his head. "What's your secret?"

Jeff thought he looked closer to 65 but didn't say it.

"I don't know. I'm still running and hittin' the gym. I try and eat right. Other than that...."

"Yeah, I gave that bullshit up a year before I got out. When the Corps told me it no longer needed me, I said, 'Fuck it.' I haven't run once since."

Not sure what else to say, Jeff waited and John said, "My wife ran out on me, too."

He got quiet knowing Emily could hear then nearly whispered, "Fucking bitch griped about everything. Good riddance as far as I'm concerned."

"I'm still sorry to hear about that, John," Jeff said quietly hoping Emily hadn't heard.

Jensen waved a hand and said, "Forget about it. It's all water under the bridge and her loss. You know what I'm sayin'?"

He leaned toward Jeff, smiled, then quietly said not nearly as quietly, "Hey. Speaking of wives...how's that hot piece of ass you're married to doing? I bet that's one of the things that's kept you lookin' so young. Man, she was one fine-looking babe back in the day, and I bet she's still hot as hell! Am I right?"

Jeff almost never got angry. But he was on the verge when his old acquaintance referred to his late wife that way.

He bit his tongue then said, "You know what? This may not have been such a good idea after all."

He set his coffee cup down then told John, "It was nice seein' you again."

John stood up and said, "Hey! Hold on there. What the hell did I say? I was just lettin' you know I thought your wife was really attractive. Jesus, are you some kind of fucking, overly sensitive little bitch these days or something?"

Emily had indeed heard every word that hadn't been whispered, and she shuddered when she listened to the exchange.

Jeff didn't say another word to his former neighbor as he calmly opened the door.

He did his best to remain polite as he smiled and said to Emily, "I'm sorry to have to run off like this. It was really great seeing you again."

Knowing why he was leaving, she didn't bother asking or try to keep him from going. She'd only been there a week or so, but if she'd could do so, she'd walk away, too. She waited for him to get down the sidewalk before her father asked what the hell she was staring at.

"Why do you have to be like that?" she said to him without raising her voice.

"Like what? The guy's a pussy. Always was," her dad said without looking up. "Typical JAG-fag. That's all he is or ever will be. One of those pretty boys who never once got his hands dirty."

"His wife died two years ago, Dad. She had breast cancer. He looked you up online then drove out here to say hello and reconnect."

Without even looking up her dad said dismissively, "Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

As he turned to go back to her side of the office, he sat down and opened the lower desk drawer and pulled out the bottle of Wild Turkey bourbon he kept in there.

Emily knew from the sounds what he was doing and shook her head. She also realized her fists were clenched so hard her nails were leaving marks as she took several long, slow breaths to calm herself. She heard him take a large drink and wondered how many he'd already had.

It was bad enough this poor man had lost his wife. Then her father treats him like...dirt...when he takes the time to come see him. To her knowledge, her dad didn't have one single friend. He spent his time between the office and his apartment and drinking regardless of where he was.

It was times like this when she deeply regretted moving there. But her mom had dual citizenship and had left the US and returned to her native Australia several years ago. Emily had considered moving there, but she just couldn't leave America.

In the final analysis, against her better judgment and everything she knew about him from having lived with him for 18 years, she'd agreed to move back to Washington where they'd lived from the time they left Okinawa until she got married, and took an apartment in the complex her dad managed. Working the front desk came with a rent-free unit and, with the child support her husband was providing, paid just enough extra for her to get by and feed her two kids with a small amount left over if she was very careful and nothing went wrong.

Emily tried not to complain, but her father made it very, very hard. And then there was the constant drinking.

She was afraid to leave her children alone with their grandfather, and even when she was there with him, she was constantly on guard, waiting for him to say something mean or snide or hurtful the way he'd done to her mother, or at times, even her, for as long as she could remember.

Shortly after Emily graduated from high school, her mother let her know she was leaving her father. She didn't spell out the reasons why, but by the time Emily was nine or ten, she pretty much knew. The yelling, the berating, the constant criticism. It was nothing short of a miracle her mom had stuck it out that long.

Six months later Emily had finished a semester of community college and Christmas was behind her, and that's when her mom told her she was moving back home to Sydney. Now she was lucky to see her mom once every two or three years.

She'd met her husband, Mike, when he was sent McChord right after finishing tech school. Emily was taken with the tall, brash, young airman, and was oh-so-ready to move out of her father's apartment, the same one he still lived in. She married Mike just three months after meeting him, and moved in with him in an apartment he had off base.

Charlotte came along nine months later, and even then, Emily did her best to make excuses not to visit or to be gone anytime he hinted about stopping by to visit.

A year later, Mike received orders to Kirtland, and Emily couldn't wait to put some distance between herself and her father, who was still drinking heavily. Things were never great but after having had such an unpleasant time growing up, Emily was very happy being a wife and mother. When Ava came along she was thrilled to finally have the loving family she'd always wanted. Or so she thought.

And then came the orders to Korea. There was no chance of getting an accompanied tour so Emily cheerfully told her husband he had her full support. She could continue staying on base at Kirkland in government quarters, and dutifully wait for her husband to come home.

She called, video chatted, emailed, and texted him constantly, but his early, regular replies became few and farther in between after the fourth month of the one-year tour. He made excuses constantly about working long hours, weekends, and pretty much all the time. Not knowing whether or not that was true, Emily accepted what he told her even after her antennae went up.

For the second half of the deployment, he was so distant it worried her sick, but every time she mentioned it he dismissed her concerns. He'd video chat with the girls for a couple of minutes maybe twice a week then make some kind of excuse claiming he had to get back to work regardless of the time, day or night.

When he returned home, Emily was still deeply worried, but also hopeful things would get back to normal. However, within an hour of getting to their house, he told her they needed to talk. Within two minutes, he explained how he'd met someone else; someone from his squadron, and fallen in love with her.

Emily sat there stunned to her core as he quietly told her he'd go pack up his things and leave. That had been just over seven months ago. She'd stayed in base housing for several months after that, but knowing she'd have to leave once the divorce was final, she packed up her belongings and moved back to Spanaway and the hell she'd once called home.

Emily was still steaming for quite awhile after Jeff left. She took several more calming breaths before answering the next call, another tenant upset about the oven that hadn't been working for four days. She'd told her dad about it several times, and the last time she mentioned it, he'd snapped at her.

"I told you I'll fucking get to it!" he'd growled.

He'd overheard enough of the conversation to know who was calling and yelled, "Tell that dumb bitch I'll be there when I get there!"

Her husband, who'd cheated on her when he went to Korea, had broken her heart. But to his credit, he'd never so much as raised his voice at her. Unlike her father whose drinking was so out of control it was rare for him to ever be in a good mood, her husband had at least treated her reasonably well when they'd lived together.

Emily choked back tears as she apologized to the woman who was now cursing at her. Too distraught to talk, she said again, "I'm so sorry. We'll get it taken care of. I promise."

Her father heard her crying and slammed a desk door shut. That would be the bourbon bottle bottle being put away. He didn't say it loudly, but he didn't have to. She could hear every word.

"You're just like your mother. A weak, whiny little bitch."

Two seconds later he flung the wooden door shut behind him before opening the main door and hollered over his shoulder, "Tell that fat cunt that just called I'm on my way!"

As she watched her father walk down the sidewalk Jeff had just used, she tried as hard as she could not to be emotional, but it was beyond her control. Emily never let herself feel sorry for herself, but after having spent less than five minutes with Abbie's father, she couldn't help but wish she'd had a dad like that. She'd loved going to their house and insisted they play at Abbie's house any time Emily's father was home. Even at five and six, Emily understood why. Mr. Jensen was a very mean man.

As she sat there trying to compose herself, all she could do was cry. Her father was even worse now than he'd been when she was growing up, her husband had moved out and moved in with this female Air Force lover of his who'd pursued him relentlessly during their deployment. So now that woman had Emily's husband, and Emily was here, stuck with her alcoholic father and trying to raise two children on her own.

Her soon-to-be ex-husband did pay child support. That was one thing the military took very seriously. She received a monthly deposit that came directly out of his pay, and with that extra money, she was able to get to get by. There was precious little left over, but as long as her girls had food, shelter, and all the love she could give them, that was enough.

Except at times like this when she'd give anything to have someone who would love her and care for her the way she loved and cared for her children. She had so much love to share, and it just seemed so unfair that no matter how much of it she tried to give, getting it in return always seemed just outside her grasp.

She took another deep breath and thought, "At least I have my girls who love me unconditionally."

That thought reminded her to go check on them. A neighbor she trusted had been watching them, but that was only a short-term solution. Very soon, Emily would have to find daycare for them, and she had no idea how she would pay for it.

She dabbed her eyes, took several more long, slow breaths, then got ready to deal with the next caller.

After leaving, Jeff had managed to eventually calm himself down, and by the time he was halfway back to Orting, he'd let it go. Most of it, anyway.

He'd always thought Jensen was a dick, so that wasn't the problem. What ate at him was the thought of Emily and her children having to put up with a man like that. Yeah, it riled him up when Jensen spoke about his late wife that way, but that was just the way he was. But when he wondered whether or not the little girl he and his late wife had considered their second child was dealing with that every day, or even worse, her daughters, it ate at him to no end.

He consoled himself by remembering she was an intelligent, competent, grown woman fully capable of making good decisions. He also told tried telling himself that maybe he wasn't such a dick with her or his granddaughters. That seemed unlikely, however, because one of his lifelong mottos was 'leopards don't change their spots', and today's reunion had driven that home yet again. As weak as that was, it was all he had to hang his hat on, or 'cover', as it were, as Marines didn't wear 'hats', so he did his best to put the incident behind him.