Chivalry is on Life Support Ch. 20

Brooke made it clear to me from the first day Luke showed up at our house that the thought of him dominating, punishing and humiliating me turned her on -- a lot. It certainly did not surprise me to hear her say that. Being a scholar, as I was, of ritualized shaming and humiliation in literature and history, I had long been aware of the strong sexual undercurrents involved in men dominating other men. Throughout history, the explicit purpose of such domination has often been to impress, seduce, or outright conquer women; but even when that was not the primary purpose, it was often a meaningful side effect. A very welcome one for the victor; not only does he defeat his rival, he wins the attention, admiration and allegiance of women for having done so, frequently in direct proportion to the level of ruthlessness he used to prevail. Indeed, there is a very primal quality to it, going back to the basic laws of the jungle. However, these power dynamics become much more interesting, complex and unpredictable within the context of human society.

In society -- ostensibly civilized, but usually less so than meets the eye -- superior physical strength is often not enough for one male to prevail over another. Intelligence, class, race, wealth, education, political power, and many other factors come into play. In the history of society, it has not always been the case that the physically stronger male triumphs over the physically weaker ones, like a dominant silverback gorilla expelling his weaker rivals from the troop. Far from it, in fact. In society, it is often the wealthier, better educated men who dominate the poorer, less educated ones, even though the latter tend to be stronger physically because their sustenance is dependent upon manual labor.

That was even true in the classic courtly love triangle, in which the physically strongest member of the threesome, the knight-- stronger obviously than the lady to whom he pledged fealty, but also stronger than her husband, a (usually older) nobleman of superior social standing -- was also the least powerful of the three in every respect outside of the purely physical. In courtly love literature, the beloved's husband was often humorously portrayed as older, boring, lacking in charm or physical attractiveness, and also oblivious to the relationship between his wife and her adoring knight. This concept was referred to as "courtly cuckoldry" (even though the vast majority of knights and their ladies never consummated their relationships). However, it is important to note that the relationship between the knight and his beloved was fraught with danger (particularly for the knight) and had to be kept secret. If discovered by the noble husband, it might be problematic for the lady, but it could be absolutely devastating (even lethal) for the knight due the social power wielded by the husband.

The chivalric love triangle is quite different, obviously, than most of the varieties of cuckold relationships that followed in history, including up to the present day. Including up to my relationship with Brooke and Luke. There are so many intriguing twists and turns these relationships can take, and the power dynamics are often inverted. I think this is what makes cuckolding relationships so interesting, what makes cuckoldry the so-called intellectual fetish. In most cuckolding relationships, of course, physical prowess does indeed matter. One thinks of D.H. Lawrence's Lady Chatterley's Lover in which a young married woman, Connie, has a passionate affair with Mellors, the gamekeeper on her upper class baronet husband's estate, because her husband, Clifford, is paralyzed from the waist down and unable to satisfy her sexually.

In Lawrence's novel, there is a clear inversion of power of sorts, in which the servant, the gamekeeper, becomes the master in the bedroom. And his mastery is largely due to his physical superiority (Connie thinks of Mellors' "lordly" and "proud" penis, for example). Poor Clifford, meanwhile, regresses almost into a state of infantilism in his relations with his nurse, Mrs. Bolton (paradoxically, as his power as an industrialist grows). There are many other accounts of cuckoldry, in both fiction and nonfiction, in which power relationships are inverted, and humiliation usually figures prominently. Servants cuckolding their masters, employees cuckolding their bosses, politicians cuckolding their political rivals, plumbers who barely graduated high school cuckolding college professors with PhDs from Ivy League universities...the list goes on and on. You get the picture.

As in Lady Chatterley's Lover (until the end of the novel, at least), the husband is often clueless that his wife is being unfaithful. However, in many cases, both real and fictional, the cuckold is all too aware of the relationship between his wife and her lover(s). While there have undoubtedly been occasions in which the cuckold's knowing participation in the relationship is completely nonconsensual (in cases of blackmail or extortion, for example), most of the time he is consenting, at least to some extent. This can run the gamut from the voyeuristic man who simply gets a sexual thrill from watching his wife having sex with other men and may not find it humiliating in the least; to the man who may no longer enjoy sex with his wife, and does not wish to unfairly deprive her of sexual gratification; to the man who is in such a relationship under duress, fearful that he will lose his wife if he does not consent, and who therefore is willing to endure the accompanying humiliation; to relationships in which the cuckold is a virtual slave to his wife and her lover, and humiliation is his daily bread and butter. I'll leave it to you, gentle reader, to determine which of the above best describes me.

As I explained previously, part of my new book focuses on the present resurgence of interest in cuckoldry, one that rivals, if not surpasses that of medieval times. It is really quite remarkable. Our contemporary fascination with cuckoldry has certainly been fueled by the Internet, as there are now an enormous (and seemingly ever expanding) number of cuckold forums and cuckold erotica sites. Many of these sites focus on the darker side of cuckolding, in which the cuckold's emasculation, subjugation and even enslavement is featured. My thesis is that this resurgence of interest cuckoldry goes hand-in-hand with concomitant increases in masochism and in sadism in contemporary society, two separate but interconnected phenomena. I also argue that some of the cuckold erotica now being published online at places like the free fiction website Literotica, the transgender fiction archive Fictionmania, and on subreddit communities such cuck_femdom_tales on the social network, Reddit, are of sufficient quality that they are worthy of serious literary critical analysis.

I also analyze the homoerotic aspects of cuckolding, a complex subject. There are no doubt some cuckolds and some bulls who are simply repressed homosexuals, who somehow view this type of relationship (in which a woman is shared) to be more socially acceptable or more acceptable to their own sense of identity than a straightforward homosexual relationship. However, speaking from my own experience as a submissive cuckold, I believe that much of the eroticism derives from the sadism of the bull, the masochism of the cuckold and, crucially, the effect the relationship between the two has upon the woman. Although I believe that there is some truth to notion that everyone is bisexual to greater or lesser degrees, I think a majority of people are probably 70-80% or more attracted to the opposite sex. I view these people as essentially heterosexual. I always thought of myself as being in that category (and still do).

However, I cannot deny that I now grow aroused when submitting to Luke--including fluffing him, being punished by him, even worshipping his feet. I believe that this has more to do with the effect my submission has on Brooke (her undisguised arousal), and with my intrinsic masochism, than it does with any pure sexual interest in Luke. I am aroused by both the thought and the fact of Brooke's arousal, and if my submission to Luke is the cause of it, or enhances it, that alone makes it arousing to me to submit to him a sexual way. And there have been a few occasions when Luke has forced me to give him a blow job when Brooke was out. Or once he made me hump the toe of his boot through my tights while slashing my bottom with a riding crop (and lick my semen off his boot afterwards, naturally). Was I still aroused? Yes, I was. Does this disprove my theory? I don't believe so. Because I knew Brooke would have been aroused if she knew of my submission to her lover, probably all the more so if she I knew I was submitting to him even when she wasn't present (I had little doubt that Luke told her). I was her submissive knight fighting battles in her honor, willing to emasculate myself for her like Lancelot was for Guinevere. The big differences were that I never had victories, only defeats and my battlefield was almost always in the domestic realm, not on the jousting field. But Lancelot couldn't hold a candle to me when it came to emasculating myself for my lady; I could have schooled him in that department.

And what about Luke? I am quite sure that he has no fundamental sexual attraction to me (or probably to most men, but how can I know for sure?). Luke is a natural sadist. I'm entirely certain that he is aroused by the effect his domination of me has on Brooke. But for Luke, it's essentially all about control and power. That's what floats his boat, whether who he is dominating is male, female, transgender, whatever. It matters not to him. I'm sure he was completely untroubled by any thought of the gayness of having me suck him off, as he was in the position of power; I'm sure he would not have consented in a million years to being the one on his knees (with me or any man -- or woman, for that matter. I never once saw him go down on Brooke). Indeed, he called me "fag" as I performed my act of submission.

I mentioned to you before Luke's insatiable desire to have his feet pampered and worshiped. I had never had any attraction to men's feet before, but I have to admit that for a man, especially an athlete, Luke's feet were pleasing to the eye. His toes had a sculpted appearance. And his his soles and heels were relatively smooth and unblemished. Perhaps he is one of those men who treat themselves to pedicures in professional nail salons. Honestly, however, I had a tough time envisioning that or squaring that with his entire macho persona. Nevertheless, once Brooke told him about my pedicure skills, he had no problem with me giving him regular ones. In fact, he demanded it. That, and much more.

Even before Luke entered the our lives, Brooke had taken to having me compose poems celebrating her feet (one can only read Swinburne so many times, after all) and recite them to her while massaging her feet on my knees,. I love reading and studying poetry, but I'm a horrendous poet, so I resisted at first. But I was incapable of refusing any demand of Brooke's for long.

When Luke heard about this, he, of course, insisted I also compose poetry to worship his feet. My first sad attempt:

My master's glorious feet

Are the instruments of my defeat

As he trods upon my unworthy face.

To smell his perfect toes

Now the sole purpose of my nose

As I genuflect before him.

Such intoxicating scents

Destroy my meager defense

As I try in vain to resist his power.

So obediently I lie beneath

My master's majestic feet.

Well, I warned you it sucked. But Luke seemed genuinely pleased. In fact, he rewarded with me with a rare glass of wine -- a quite delicious Willamette Valley Pinot Noir. Unfortunately, I had to suck at least half of the glass from his toes.

Brooke looked as pleased as punch as the two of them walked off to the bedroom, leaving me to finish the remainder of my glass alone.