Down The Rabbit Hole Ch. 12

I looked at my phone as I paced. My last message from Tim was ten minutes ago.

"Where is he?"

Aaron was at church working and I knew I had some time, but each minute I waited made it more risky. Ever since Tim had come over that night a few weeks ago we had managed to make it work a couple more times. Always when Aaron was gone (except that first time of course) and it was always the same: Tim would come in, I would suck his dick and he would leave. We rarely spoke and even when we sent texts it was always straight to the point: Are you available? What time? Come in, it's safe. Etc. Yet as I had managed to find my center again and to get myself under control I realized that it was the men like Tim that I needed and they needed me.

I knew very little about him other than he was married, had a family and was neglected. I could tell by his clothes and his car that he did reasonably well, upper middle class maybe and by the look in his face whenever I saw him, I knew he worked hard. But it was his eyes and his demeanor that drew me to him. I could see that he had a longing in him, a loneliness or a neglect or something. It was the same pit I felt inside myself. The same issue and the same need.

Each time when I was on my knees and pleasing him, I could see life pouring back into him. It was the simple act of being wanted that he needed. He responded when I told him I wanted his cum and each time he gave it to me, I just wanted it more. I loved seeing the pleasure in his eyes that moment when he gave it to me and I did all I could to give him that same look back: pleasure and gratitude.

Tim: Here.

I smiled and walked to the door. I peaked through the peephole and as soon as I saw him I opened the door enough for him to come in. He looked tired and stressed but as soon as our eyes met he smiled at me. I smiled back and gripped his crotch. "I want your cum," I said, "I have been wanting it all day." I led him to the hallway bathroom.

I sat on the toilet and looked up at him as he unbuckled his pants quickly. "Do you want it?" he asked me. This was always part of our game.

"Yes," I said. "Please feed me your cock and cum." I wanted it so badly that my heart was pounding in my chest.

His cock was rock hard for me and I devoured it. I looked into his eyes and sucked his cock greedily. I put my hands on his hips and fucked his cock with my mouth, pushing my face forward until my nose pressed against his shirt again and again.

"Yes," he whispered. "Good girl."

I pushed forward and took him down my throat and held it there. I felt his dickhead in my throat starting to swell and I opened my mouth as wide as I could, sticking my tongue out. I felt my throat constrict on his cock and I started to choke. It felt so good. I gazed up at him in pure pleasure.

"Oh fuck," he whispered. "Like that. Don't stop. Don't stop."

I had no intention of stopping. I pushed my tongue out and lapped at his balls, this made my throat continue to constrict on his cock. It felt so fucking good. I kept looking up at him. I felt my face getting warm from lack of air but my eyes were locked on his. "Come on baby, fuck my throat. Fucking use me," I thought as strongly as I could.

Tim grunted as I continued to choke on his cock and lap at his balls. He gripped my hair and sucked in air. Suddenly his cock erupted in my throat. I swallowed hard and kept lapping with my tongue, literally chugging his cum straight into my stomach. The sensation was better than I could have hoped. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks as he came and through blurred vision I could see the love in his eyes.

"Hey babe!" Aaron's voice boomed, breaking the moment.

I pulled back slowly from Tim's cock, sucking on it all the way until it slipped from my lips. I almost said something then decided not to say anything. I held my finger to my lips and slowly reached for the handle. Very carefully I turned the lock. It was much louder than I would have liked.

"Tori? Are you here?" Aaron asked. I heard him walking down the hall approaching the hall bathroom door.

"Is she here?" Was another guy's voice. It was Peter, another one of the youth pastors. He was new and he and Aaron had been hanging out a lot recently.

"Yeah I guess not," Aaron said. "I don't know where she went, we were texting a bit this morning."

I heard steps past the bathroom door and head into the bedroom. Another set of steps followed.

Tim looked at me. His face was white with panic. I shook my head at him to not worry. "Wait," I mouthed the word without making a noise.

I heard muffled voices as my husband and his friend talked in our room. I wondered what they were doing home early and why they were in our room. Aaron had been more distant lately. Maybe. Maybe I was. I didn't know honestly, I was so preoccupied with my meetings with Tim and Peter and Frank and a few others. I had taken Jim's advice and narrowed who I was seeing considerably. The list was long enough that when I needed it, I could usually find someone.

Tim started to put his cock away and I slapped at his hand and shook my head, "No." If we were here like this for a bit longer then I was going to be sure he knew how much I appreciated him. I pushed his cock up against his shirt and tummy and then started to kiss his balls. I wasn't trying to be erotic, just intimate. I wanted Tim to feel my affection for his cock. It was clear his wife never touched him, so I was going to touch him. Everywhere. I smiled at him and kissed then nibbled on his very soft flesh. He took another breath and let his pants down more so I could have more room to suck his balls. I took his left one into my mouth and then the right. I could tell it felt good for him as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"I want you all the time," I whispered to him, barely audibly. Then I took both his balls in my mouth and gently sucked, rolling my tongue all over his sack. He watched me. He looked both sad and pleased at the same time. I think I understood how he felt. I kept sucking as we listened to the muffled talk of my husband and his friend in the other room. I heard the air conditioner click on and a minute later I heard the bedroom door close from the draft caused by the vent.

I took his balls out of my mouth and stood up. "Now is our chance," I said.

Tim leaned forward and kissed my forehead as he pulled his pants up. I felt like his daughter in that moment. I loved it.

I opened the door very slowly and peeked out. The bedroom was closed and I couldn't hear much except it sounded like the TV was on. What were they doing in there? I led Tim out carefully, cringing at the creaks in the floor. We got to the door and I let him out without a word. I closed the door slowly and peaked through the peephole as he turned the corner and went down the sidewalk.

I took a deep breath and then closed the door a bit harder so Aaron could hear it if he was listening.

I walked down the hall and peeked in the bathroom, just to be sure everything was clean and good. It was perfect. I approached the bedroom door. I could hear the TV. I wasn't sure what they were watching and why in the bedroom? I almost opened the door then stopped myself. What was the point? I didn't want to see Aaron really. I turned around and walked back down the hall to the kitchen and got a drink. Then looked at my phone:

Tim: Thank you.

Tori: Don't be a stranger. I am already hungry for more.

Tim: I won't be and me too.

I smiled and set my phone on the counter. I glanced at the hallway. I felt like something was happening in our bedroom.

My phone buzzed with a text.

Jim: Are you alone?

Tori: Mostly. I can be. Why?

Jim: Meet me around the corner. I am nearby.

I smiled. I pulled out a pad of paper and wrote a quick note to Aaron that I was home and must have missed him. Then I grabbed my purse and headed out the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"H-holy shit!" I moaned. Jim's finger fish hooked my left cheek as he thrust hard into my ass again. Our bodies slapped together with a satisfying smack as I gripped my ass cheeks for him.

I lay perpendicular on the bed, on my tummy as Jim was on top of me fucking my ass hard from on top of me. He had one hand in my hair and the other was partially in my mouth. He was handling me firmly and focusing on slow, hard thrusts. I could tell he had been thinking about me for a while and this is what he needed to do. I could feel the weight of his need and his lust with each hard thrust and I clenched and gripped him as tightly as I could.

When we had met, an hour earlier, we talked a bit about the gang bang he wanted to set up for me. But as we talked we both couldn't control ourselves. So now we were checked into the cheap Motel 6 near my house breaking in the new bed in room 10.

"Fuck!" Jim groaned as he slammed into me again. He shifted his legs to open mine and then, with out pulling out of my ass, he pulled me to my knees. He let go of my hair and my mouth and gripped my hips then just started to fuck my ass hard and fast from behind.

I gripped the blankets and looked back at him. This was my favorite view of Jim: holding me from behind, staring down at my ass and focused on fucking me. Sweat ran down his built body as he fucked me. He fucked like it was a work out. His whole body flexing and taunt as he pumped me. His big cock fit in my ass perfectly. It felt like I was sucking his dick with my ass. The best part was that for all of Jim's dominance and confidence I knew he needed these times with me and that he cared about me. We always had this connection, as inexplicable as it was. But in a very fucked up way, we were lovers.

He started thrusting faster and urgently. I shook as he fucked me, my tits flailing and my body tense as I gripped his cock. I keep looking back at him as he fucked me like a machine. He was focused, gripping my hips and ass hard. I could see his hands getting white, he was gripping me so hard.

He groaned and I felt him starting to cum in me. I let my head down to the bed and I just held my ass open for him as he pumped his seed into me. He never slowed down as he fucked his full load into me in fast, very hard strokes. Then he held me against him and stopped. I lay still, holding my ass cheeks apart so we could be as close as possible. I kept looking back at him and I could see the wheels turning in his head as continued to look at his cock in my ass. We were so connected.

I lay still, just letting him do whatever he needed to do as he held my ass against his crotch. I felt completely full of his cock and his warm cum. He moved slowly as if he was trying to empty whatever was left into me.

"Tori," he said in a low voice.

"What is it Jim?" I asked as he slowly pulled out of me. I groaned at the sudden change and clenched my ass. I felt some of his cum running down. I started to lay down but he held my hip to keep me where I was.

"I want you to leave Aaron," he said suddenly.

"What?!" I replied in surprise. I didn't move.

He rubbed my ass cheeks. "I want you to be with me," He said slowly. "I want you to leave Aaron to be with me."

I looked back at him, still with my ass in the air. For some reason this position felt normal with him. But this conversation was not normal.

"What are you talking about? No. I will not leave my husband for you," I said on impulse. The whole thing was completely absurd.

He looked at my ass and then to my face. "Please," he said and he let go of my hip.

I rolled to my side and then sat up. He was still the same man. Strong, hard faced, handsome and confident. But something was changed. He had a tenderness as he looked at me.

"You don't love him anymore," he said.

"I.." I stopped speaking. He was right. Aaron and I were ships that passed in the night. Even today, it was clear that we both wanted to just do what we wanted to do. "Jim, I don't understand. I am not sure what our relationship is, but I am not sure if you and I could be together."

"Why not?" he asked. "You aren't faithful to Aaron and you aren't going to be. I am fully aware of who you really are and I have no intention of stopping you from sleeping with anyone you want. But Aaron doesn't take care of you. He doesn't try to keep you safe--especially from your self and I want to try to do that. I have been trying to do that."

I looked at him for a moment. He was serious. He never joked, so of course he was serious but I still couldn't believe it. Moreover, the fact that he wasn't worried about me being with other people was just so...different. "I don't know what to say," I said.

He nodded, "Please think about it and let me know."

I nodded.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I returned home to find Aaron on the couch eating some pizza. "Hey babe!" he said. "Thanks for the note. How was your day?" He asked as he watched the TV.

"It was good," I said absently. I realized that this was what my life was with him. Suddenly it hit me. Rout and obligatory conversations. Dodging one another, even at work where we served at church together. There was a time when we would text incessantly and he would never order a pizza without asking me. Not that I cared, but more that we shared everything. Now we shared almost nothing.

I went into the bedroom and saw the bed wasn't made. I figured he had taken a nap or spilled something as the sheets were in the wash. I frowned and rubbed my temple. I thought about leaving Aaron and I felt nothing. I think I had left him a long time ago. All the way when Jim had met me in the supermarket. That felt like a lifetime ago. In a way it was.

I decided to get my bag and I packed a bunch of things.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jim and I divorced 6 months later. Though my asking for a divorce seemed to come from nowhere, it was quickly discovered that Jim and Peter were giving one another blow jobs and had been for some time. I never knew until my lawyer had Aaron investigated. Thankfully Aaron did not return the favor and he never found out about what I was doing. Moreover, when we agreed to mutually part ways, he never found out about the secret bank account that I had accumulated from my time of experimenting. I had more than $24,000 in the account.

I lived with my mother for a time and then, with Jim's help, found a place of my own and had my money situation squared away. I left the church and did odd jobs before finding my place or calling as an Uber driver. Of course periodically I would suck and fuck my fares. Jim and I were together and still are to this day. I am considered a "hot wife" of sorts though we never officially married. He encourages my lifestyle and remains very involved in almost every aspect.

Jim and Peter got together for a time but broke it off about a year after the divorce. I don't think either of them was gay necessarily, just horny. I never held any of it against Jim, of course, even now that we have fallen out of touch. Being horny and repressed can make all of us do things we wouldn't normally do.

As part of the celebration of being divorced and free, Jim set up that gangbang for me. It was a turning point in my life and something that we have done again from time to time. Though I loved the intimacy I shared with Tim and others like him (whom I still see often), there is a part of me that loves being at the center taking cock after cock while Jim watches, gives direction and takes pictures. Having an orgasm while taking three cocks literally changed my life. I know most people would call me a slut and technically a whore when there is some sort of money or transaction involved. I am ok with that. I suppose I call myself a lover and part of a very specific community. I still have my email address and I still respond to ads. You never know, perhaps I will meet you one day on a dark night.