Gropings

Elaine was wearing a loose white blouse, under which all evening Jeremy had been able to make out the lines of a lacy white bra, and a pair of black slacks. Now his hand undid a couple of the buttons of the blouse, and as his tongue made its discoveries about her mouth, his hand went into the blouse, and a little indelicately lifted a breast from its cup, and he massaged and rubbed at the nipple, and Elaine moaned, she was very sensitive in her breasts, and what Jeremy was doing felt good. After a few moments, she took her hands from his shoulders and back and, still kissing, reached behind and unhooked her bra, and Jeremy felt her breasts fall loose from the support, they were firm, and bigger than Stephanie's, but not huge big, just right maybe, he wasn't sure. As his mouth pressed harder against hers, and hers pressed harder back, he put a hand around one breast entirely, and his thumb rubbed on her nipple, and she was making those little moaning noises that excited him, and the floor-shift and the handbrake of the car, being between the two front seats as they were, were now becoming a real nuisance.

Elaine could feel an excitement building deep in her belly, and she liked what Jeremy was doing to her breasts, her nipples were tingling, and she wanted to get closer to him. She broke off the kiss.

"Let's go for a little walk," she whispered.

"Ok," said Jeremy, and watched wide-eyed as she removed her bra from under her blouse, and tossed it onto the back seat. Up to this point, this was the closest he had ever been to being with a woman as she undressed.

They had left the car and worked along the bank of the river, holding hands, just a little way until they found a tiny patch of white beach sand, like a tiny bay, protected from view by a clump of straggly river gums. Elaine sat down on the sand, Jeremy sat beside her, she was excited, though he had no experience of knowing that, and they immediately started kissing again, and she had her arms around him, and lay herself down on her back, and pulled him down on top of her, and she parted her legs so that he could lay between them, and he was painfully aware of her body under his, and the fact that her legs were open like that. She was pushing her hips up against his, and his cock yelled, yes, this is it.

They kissed like this for some moments, and Jeremy could feel how Elaine was pushing her body up against his, there was a strange scent on her breath and it was tantalizing, and he was too painfully aware that it was only several layers of clothing that separated his cock from where it longed to be. He raised himself on his left elbow, moved slightly so that now the bulge in his jeans was pressed hard against her upper thigh, which had flattened under him as he moved. This way his right hand could get to the button of her slacks, and there was no objection from Elaine as he undid it, slid the zip down, her slacks were open now, and his hand found her undies, and his fingers slid into them, and he had to adjust his position a little again, and his fingertips felt the fine little hairs she had there, sparser, it seemed, than Stephanie's, but beautiful to touch and he plucked at them for a second, then his fingers kept moving, they brushed across that little bump (he had looked this up in a book in the uni library and found out it was called a clitoris) and he rubbed his fingertips on it, like the book had suggested, though he did not understand why.

Elaine's response to this was to let out a loud moan into Jeremy's mouth, one hand clutched at his back, holding him down, her other rubbed over his chest, her legs fell further apart, and the one under him pressed up against the hardness she could feel squashed against her thigh. She felt his fingers move, sighed in his mouth, felt a finger enter her, felt it stroking around, then she let out a little gasp, and her back arched, her hips rose against his hand, she could feel the finger doing wonderful things, and now somehow he had known to press his thumb against her clit.

Jeremy had pressed his finger into Elaine, he marvelled again at how the entrance gave way under the slight pressure, then at how it all seemed to close around his finger, his mind took in how wet it felt around his finger, he sensed and recorded in his brain the dampness of the crotch of her undies against the back of his hand, assumed that had something to do with everything, his finger felt and stroked and explored around inside Elaine, and then again, in amongst all the smooth wetness, the tip of his finger found that little rough bit which seemed so different to the rest, and he stroked and tickled and almost scratched at it, and Elaine's tongue was pressing deeper into his mouth, and her fingers on his chest were almost digging in, and her thigh was rubbing up hard against his crotch, and it seemed to him that her cunt, not that he would ever say the word in front of anyone, it seemed that her cunt was tightening on his fingers, he had put two in her now, and that it was getting a lot wetter around them. Jeremy felt the first signs of those embarrassing little spurts at the top of his cock, Elaine was moaning very softly and continuously now, she was pushing her hips down on his fingers, he could feel the tightening and wet around his fingers, he puzzled at how her back was lifting, and the leg under his was bucking up and down, he heard her groan louder, the kiss had broken away, Elaine pushed hard down on his fingers, she clenched herself on them, her back arched up again, and then the rush hit her, and she trembled, almost shuddered it seemed to Jeremy, then after one last push up with her hips against his fingers, her bum almost perpendicular to the ground, she trembled again, and tightened on his fingers again, and he felt her thighs tight on his hand, and she groaned again, then fell away, flat on her back, and he looked at her face, she had a strange look, and her eyes were closed, and her breasts were rising and falling, and he heard her sigh.

Jeremy still had his fingers inside Elaine, but he could not understand why she had gone so quiet, he bent his head to kiss her again, she responded, and it was a different sort of kiss, her tongue softly caressed his, there was a different scent to her breath, it all seemed a bit softer now, somehow, calmer, but not for his cock, it was missing the pressure of her thigh against him, he could feel it twitching and demanding, and he raised himself up on knees, put his hands to the waistband of Elaine's slacks, and started to pull them down from her hips, he could see her belly in the moonlight, now the top of her undies, he tugged a little more, the undies were following the slacks, now he could see the beginnings of the little triangle of fine black hairs, he had never actually seen them before in person like this, he liked the way they looked, but his cock demanded that he keep going, and he tugged again at the slacks, he could see more of the hairs now, the skin around them very pale, and he was sure he was about to get them down past the tops of her thighs, his cock was sure it was about to get where it had wanted so long to be, when he felt Elaine's hands on his, and she very softly said, "No, don't...please..." and he looked at her and said, totally confused, "Why not?" and sat up, and hugged him, and said, "Let's just cuddle for a minute," and that gave his mind, and his cock, room to believe that there was hope yet.

So they cuddled for a while, and smoked a cigarette, and it was then that Jeremy became obsessed with the scents that were on his fingers now, and he used little excuses to hide from Elaine the way he kept sniffing at them, he knew, that this was the magical, mysterious smell of woman, and he loved it, and even sneaked an opportunity to lick his fingers a few times, though at that time in his 'development' the idea of his tongue getting a first-hand taste of those scents would not have occurred to him.

As for Elaine, it had occurred to her that Jeremy had no idea what had just happened to her, and she frowned to herself that boys never did seem to understand that, or to even realise that girls did those things. She cuddled him, and part of her wanted to let him take her pants and undies off and fuck her, but another part of her wanted to cling to the idea that he was different from the others.

So when Jeremy had put his hand back between her legs, and his fingers had explored all around and through and in those warm damp creases and crevices, and several times Elaine had trembled as they kissed, and he had again marvelled at just how warm and wet and soft it all felt, but then when he again went to slide those pants off her hips, she had stopped him again, and actually pulled them back up, and said they had better go, and his cock had screamed in rage and disappointment, but Jeremy was too polite to persist.

The next day when they met, Elaine had confused him even more by telling him that he could actually have kept going the night before, that he could have taken her pants off and 'had' her, but she would have been disappointed in him, and she was so glad he hadn't, and she liked that he was 'different from all the others'. For once in his life, Jeremy had wished he was exactly like all the others, but he sensed too that by continuing to be polite, and going along with her wishes, he would eventually get what he so desperately desired.

To his utter frustration though, there followed several more nights just like the first one, where she would let him touch her, where she in fact often put his hand between her legs to do what she wanted to be done, and there would be her moanings, and the strange movements, and afterwards the wonderful scents on his fingers, but always the 'please can we wait' when he went to take her undies right off.

A few weeks later, and Elaine went far away to spend Christmas with her family, and she promised she would call every night, but didn't, and Jeremy frantically wrote her a clingy letter telling her how much he missed her, and she didn't write back, and he knew that once again he must have done something wrong.

He probably wouldn't have minded so much, except that in the next year of uni, his second, the one where he had shown that he had a dazzling academic career ahead of him, he heard, and was sometimes told straight to his face, painful things. He didn't often associate with the guys he had graduated high school with, but some of them were at uni too of course, and some did lectures with him. From them he found out that over the course of the year, Elaine had fucked pretty well every guy he had finished school with, or at least that was how it was told. They knew that he had been quite serious about her, and a few of them were still cruel enough to enjoy taunting him with the tales of her sexual adventures. Whenever he saw her on campus, which wasn't often now, he would talk to her, but only briefly, she seemed to want to stay away from him. And he knew that somehow this was his fault.

Jeremy nearly stamped his foot in anger on the floor of the bus, only it wasn't only anger but frustration as well. He sighed though, and knew again that there was no point dwelling on her. For whatever reason, she had not been willing to fuck him, though she was apparently willing to fuck pretty well anyone else. But he had gotten past the wanting to be like everyone else, and had very successfully channeled his energies into his studies. Through the course of that last year there had been a couple of other girls, one he had even managed to bring to the same level of excitement as he had with Elaine, but of course that elusive first fuck still refused to happen.

The bus pulled up at his stop, and he slowly began the ten minute walk to the house. It was the third month of his third year at uni, and he had this big, important essay to get on with. He had been told it would go a long way towards his being admitted to the honours programme, and he knew it was the main thing. He chided himself at letting this sex business take up so much of his attention.

But as he walked, the last time he had 'come close' forced its way into his mind, his cock actually hardened at the recollection of what was probably the closest it had yet been to its ultimate goal.

A month or so ago, they had held a party at their house, a sort of start of the academic year party, and the girl he had been taking out for the last few weeks, Annie, had come to the party of course, and later in the evening agreed to go to his bedroom with him. This in itself had been a first, and he had been sure that it would not be the only first that night,

Annie was a pretty, slim blonde, with small breasts and long legs. She liked Jeremy, she liked what he did to her with his fingers, just two nights before, on the back lawn of her parents' house he had helped her have the feelings she had when she masturbated. He was different from other guys too, whenever he went to take her undies off and she said no, he did not persist and be annoying, but accepted what she said. In anticipation of him making her have those wonderful feelings again, she happily followed him into his bedroom, sat on his bed and kicked her sandals off. Jeremy had sat beside her, put an arm around her back, they kissed, their tongues chasing each other around their mouths. Jeremy's hand went under her loose cotton skirt, and she opened her legs for him, and his fingers went inside her undies, and found the little mound of fine, silky hairs. They tickled at the hairs for a few seconds, and Annie lay back, pulling Jeremy down beside her, she could feel the hardness of his cock through his jeans, wondered if tonight she should take that step and help him with that. Then his fingers were on her clit, and she moaned as they rubbed softly on it, she liked that, and Jeremy himself had figured out that touching that little bump seemed to have a lot to do with making a girl feeling excited.

He moved his thumb on it, rubbing at it, while his middle finger slid down her slit, and he found her entrance and pressed it into her. In response, Annie moaned again, her tongue firmer against his, and her legs fell more open, as she felt the finger press into her, exploring and stroking against the inside of her. She pressed her clit up against his thumb, and tightened herself around his finger. Those odd trembling, shaking feelings started to rise within her, and she held him to her more closely. Jeremy heard his cock demanding that he take her clothes off, but with two fingers now he ignored it, pressing his fingers deep into Annie, back and forth, for the first time noticing soft little slurpy noises around his fingers, she was really wet there, again he sensed the dampness of the crotch of her undies against the back and side of his hand, wondered for a moment how that happened, never mind he told himself, his fingers stroked up into Annie, all around inside, the bed was moving slightly as Annie moved her hips with Jeremy's fingers, pressing down to meet them, feeling them slide in her, her hand on the back of his neck, holding his mouth to hers, her hips pushing down on those fingers as they fucked into her, she felt the building, this was more than she was used to, and she moaned and said his name into his mouth, and her breath tasted different to him now, and her hips rocking at his hand, and the little slurpy noises, and the smell of her perfume, and another scent he couldn't place, and his cock screamed in triumph and said, now! Now! And he sat back up, and took his fingers from between Annie's thighs, and she clenched her thighs together, trying to hold the feeling in, not understanding why he had stopped. But he was lifting her top up now, and she sat herself up so he could lift it over her shoulders and he dropped it on the bed.

Jeremy had not thought to turn the light off when they had entered the room, and he was glad he hadn't. For only the second time his eyes gazed on naked breasts, real ones right there in front of him, and they were beautiful. The little pale brown nipples pointed out at him from Annie's small breasts, he wanted to taste them but his cock had other priorities, and his hands moved down over the smoothness of her belly, he even leant and kissed the soft tanned skin of her belly, his fingers trembling slightly as they took the top of her skirt and slid it down her legs, she raised her bum so he could slide it off over her feet, there now were her undies, a pale yellow, he noticed how there was a tightness of them over her very lower belly where the hairs were, he noticed how the fabric creased and disappeared between her thighs, he was sure now that tonight was going to be the night. Annie watched him as he did this, an anticipation in her belly, but also a disappointment that his fingers had stopped the beautiful things they had been doing inside her, and she sensed also in the back of her mind that there was about to be a problem.

Nevertheless, as Jeremy took the band of her undies, and slid them down her thighs, and his eyes riveted on the soft mound of pale brown hairs, and the little hints of the top of her slit, she lifted her legs so he could slide her undies over her feet, and there she was naked before him, and Jeremy moaned at how beautiful it was, and Annie waited for him to put his fingers back between her still softly trembling thighs. For moments Jeremy just looked at what he could see, and he loved it, the hairs and the so pale skin around them, and the very tops of her outer lips. Annie stroked his arm, desperately wanted his fingers to resume, the beautiful feelings they had aroused were receding, she waited, her breathing calming, but expectant.

Later Jeremy wondered if what he did next was what spoiled it all. He had considered taking his shirt off, undressing completely as she had let him do to her, but his ever-insistent cock had demanded a short cut. He moved himself quickly, Annie had opened her legs for his fingers, perhaps this was what he had misinterpreted, he thought later, but he had knelt between her legs, and unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, his cock triumphantly presented itself naked before a woman for the first time, hard and twitching with anticipation. Jeremy bent down, the tip of his cock brushed her thigh. Annie had looked at it, it was actually a very nice looking cock, she thought, as it brushed her thigh she felt the little wetness of the tip of it against her skin, she didn't mind what Jeremy was doing, then the rage of her parents against her sister's pregnancy sprang into her mind, and she tried to close her legs, and put her hand down over her mound, her fingers over her entrance, if only he had kept doing that, she was amazed at how wet she felt there, she lifted her knees to gently push him away, and said, "No...we can't," and Jeremy understood straight away, and in protest his cock spat a large glob of hot wetness onto her belly, just above the little hairs, and he groaned, and sat back against the wall, and wished he was like the others.

Annie admitted to herself when she got home that she probably hadn't been completely fair with Jeremy, that she probably shouldn't have let him completely undress her, that if he had just continued with his fingers for a tiny few more minutes, she would have let him do it, regardless of the possible consequences. Masturbation that night had been the best ever though.

But something had spoiled, and though they had seen each other a couple of times after that, it never became as intimate as that night in his bedroom, and after she had said that she couldn't make it to a film with him one night, he understood, and knew once again that he must have done something wrong.

The essay, he thought as he walked into the house, what were Luther's central motivations, and did they change over the course of the Reformation, that was all he should be thinking about.