Illumination

A cloudy sky blanketed Malibu; the clouds threatened to break open at any moment. I lay in my Reflection hammock, watching the sky and listened as the waves crashed onto the shore with a dangerous vengeance. My daughter and I never missed Reflection day at the end of each month. It had been hard not to push my beliefs off onto my daughter as I raised her, but I had managed to let her find her own way in life. However, Reflection day is something she and I both agreed on. It's an important day for us because it was a day for us to Reflect upon the important things in our life, upon the mistakes we've made and what we can do to avoid making the same mistakes again. It's a day for us to think about our hopes and dreams, what we want out of life and find a positive way to make them happen. I chose today to Reflect on the circumstances surrounding my daughter's conception and birth, and why her mother isn't here to Reflect with us...

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I remember my parents trying to shove their self-righteous religious beliefs down my throat, but I wouldn't have any of that. I had always considered myself to be a laid back person, following no religion, but seeming more spiritual more than anything else. My parents brought out something in me that I didn't life, this intense anger and frustration any time they were around. I started to become an evil person; I did anything I could to make their life a living hell. The last time I saw my parents, my mother laid her hands on me. That was the last straw, so I packed up as much of my stuff as I could and left without looking back. My best friend, Steve, was there for me. His parents took me in with open arms. I could be my true self around them; I wasn't the evil person my parents saw. I easily fell into the extremely laid back routine they lived.

After I had been living there for several months, Paul, Steve's dad, mentioned to us that we should form a band when he heard us strumming our guitars and singing in the backyard. "It's a good way to get the ladies," he had said. We thought about it, and decided it would be a good idea. Steve and I both loved to play our guitars and we were really good at it. We had some friends that played different instruments. The band had barely been together long before the local girls got curious about us. They came around often and sat on the couches we put in the garage, which became our band space. Paul and his wife, Carla, parked their cars in the driveway instead so we could have a place of our own to practice. Paul and his band practiced in the basement of their house. It didn't take long before the band was good enough to play at local venues, and that's when the groupies came to us.

The slutty girls would sit in on our practices, which were often cut short because they wanted to give us head. They were always horny, so when practice was cut short no one complained. There was a girl, often two girls, for every guy in the room. It was a good thing that the garage space was our own because Paul and Carla would have killed me and Steve if they found out we were having sex with all of these girls while they were in the house across the driveway. I could barely remember the names of any of the girls; I didn't care enough to remember their names because I didn't want to have a girlfriend. I had lost my virginity at a young age to no one special. I had sex with all of these girls because it felt good to be wanted. However, there were consequences to our actions we never cared to think about.

We threw a party for my birthday on a private beach that belonged to Paul and Carla. Everyone that attended supplied their own beer and every pocket available had a bag of weed that everyone smoked. The party filled quickly with drunken people dancing around the bon fire. No one cared that our band played a bad set because we were all high as a kite. While we played, I caught the eyes of a beautiful girl dancing. It was easy to see that she had been drinking, even without noticing the beer can in her hand. The way she moved was mesmerizing. The fire light flickered all over her body, casting interesting shadows over her skin. I knew I needed to talk to this girl so after our last song, I put my guitar back in its case and walked over to her. Her eyes lit up like she recognized me but I had no idea who she was. She squealed my name, "Ian!" Then she threw her arms around my neck, sloshing her beer across my shirtless body. I wrapped my arms around her body and smelled the faint scent of her perfume on her neck. Amongst the smell of beer and weed, I could smell vanilla. "What's your name, beautiful?" I asked her. She grinned at me and said, "I'm Mindy! I've been keeping tabs on your band, the music is so great!" She said enthusiastically.

"Mindy, that's a nice name. Do you want to take a walk with me?" I inquired.

Mindy grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the group of people around the fire. I caught Steve's gaze as we walked away. He grinned at me and gave me double thumbs up. He and I knew what was going to be happening with this beautiful girl. I made sure to grab two fresh cans of ice cold beer out of a cooler as she dragged me away. We were far enough away from the fire that I could block it out with my thumb held at arm's length. The two of us were quiet for a moment while we listened to the faint laughter from the people around the fire. The waves rolled smoothly onto the beach but we were far enough back from the water that we didn't get wet. I looked up at the moon; it was high and bright in the sky. The brightness of the moon made me glance at Mindy. She was swaying her hips to the music that must be in her head while she sipped from her beer can. She noticed my gaze and smiled.

"Do you want to kiss me?" she asked. Her green eyes were large and bright in the light of the moon. I nodded my head and my eyes roamed her sexy body. She was only wearing a pair of shorts over her bikini bottoms and I don't think she came to the party with a shirt. I walked toward Mindy and swept her up in my arms, twirling her part of the way around. As I set her down, our lips met. There was something about Mindy that made me want to keep sweet with her. I kissed her softly and very slowly until we were breathless.

"Wow," she whispered when I pulled away to catch air in my lungs. She touched a few fingers to her lips and smiled. "That was the best kiss I've ever had," she admitted. "Let me doing something for the birthday boy..." Mindy stepped closer to me and looked me in the eyes as she unsnapped the button on my cut-off jean shorts. I was considerably taller than Mindy, so she kissed her way down my tight chest until she reached my hips. She tugged down my shorts, letting them fall into the sand. I wore nothing under them so my hard dick bobbed freely in the cool evening air, sending a chill through my spine.

"Oh, this is very nice," Mindy mused. She winked up at me as she wrapped a hand around the base of my dick. Mindy licked her lips in a seductive manner before swiping the tip of her tongue slowly across the head of my dick, wiping clean the pre-cum that had started to ooze out. I moaned instantly at the contact. I really liked having my dick sucked, and it really didn't take much for me to cum from the simplest manipulation. I was distinctly aware of the pressure of her hand around my thick dick, though average in length. Mindy licked around the head, and then slowly eased it in her mouth. "Yeah, that's nice," I breathed. Encouraged, Mindy inhaled my member deep into her mouth. She gagged easily when it started to bump the back of her throat. Mindy pulled further back and worked it easily in and out of her mouth at a steady pace that worked best for her, while her hand twisted and pumped along the slick skin at the base. She may not be pro, but what she was doing to me still felt great. I held her dark blond hair back from her pretty face and watched my dick disappear into her mouth. She managed to take me further in without gagging as much. I groaned when I hit the back of her throat and slid down momentarily. She looked up at me and held my gaze, putting more effort into bringing forth an orgasm. It was fast approaching, so I held her head in place. She pulled my dick out of her mouth and looked up at me curiously. "I don't want to cum just yet, and I'll definitely cum if you continue that!" I chuckled.

I pulled Mindy up from her kneeling position and kissed her deeply. My hands roamed her body and pulled down her shorts. My teeth grazed her earlobe, tugging it lightly. This caused her to moan, and she moaned even more when I slipped my hand beneath the waist band of her bikini bottoms. I found her pussy smooth, except for a small patch of hair above the slit. I traveled further and found her wet – very wet. I groaned into her ear. With my hand still in her suit, I wrapped my other arm around her and pulled her down on top of me in the sand. I played with her pussy while she straddled me.

Mindy grasped my dick and shifted her bathing suit to the side. I removed my hand and watched as she rubbed the tip of my dick along the wetness of her folds a few times before easing me inside her; I slipped in easily because of how wet she was. We groaned pleasurably as she sunk all the way down the length of me. Mindy instantly took the lead with only a moment to adjust to my girth inside her, then she was rocking her hips slowly up and down. I placed my hands upon her hips to guide her, though she certainly didn't need my help. I moved my hips in perfect sync to Mindy's movement in order to drive deep into her pussy. She was so tight; it felt ridiculous when the walls of her cunt contracted around me. I couldn't stop moaning, this girl was driving me insane. She started to buck her hips faster and harder with the encouragement from my moans. I dug my fingers into the soft flesh of her hips and guided her up and down on my shaft, lifting her and slamming her back down. Her small, perky tits bounced hypnotically before my eyes in the confines of her bikini top.

I shoved one of the triangle patches of Mindy's bikini top up to expose the jiggling flesh and squeezed it in my hand. Mindy groaned and bit her bottom lip when I pinched and twisted the tiny nipple between my thumb and forefinger. "Fuck, I love that. Pinch it harder," she begged. Being the kind man I am, I obliged and manipulated the nub further. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Mindy's voice became high pitched as she fell forward onto my, resting her elbows in the sand on either side of my body and began to piston her cunt along my shaft. With the quickening of the pace, I groaned and arched my back a little. I wrapped my arms tight around Mindy's small frame and fucked my cock deep into her. I rolled us over so I was on time and started to fuck her harder and faster. Mindy's orgasm came and went, but I was determined to give her at least one more before my own seed spilled over.

"I love how tight your pussy is," I breathed into Mindy's ear.

"I love how your cock stretches my little cunt," she breathed in response.

I reached beneath me as I fucked Mindy to rub her clit. This really got to her, and she begged for a request, "Fuck me from behind!"

I slowed my pace until I completely stilled inside her; I really didn't want to pull out but if that's what Mindy wanted then I was happy to give it to her. Plus, I liked not being able to look at a girl's face when I used her. I wasn't pro at maneuvering a woman's body into position without removing my dick first, so I just pulled out and let her crawl into position. As soon as she was on her knees, I yanked her bikini bottoms down her thighs and shoved my dick back inside the heated channel. My quick thrust shoved Mindy forward, nearly landing her face in the sand. She rested her weight on her forearms with her ass high in the air. I brought myself back to a steady rhythm as I admired the thickness of her ass. It bounced just as hypnotically as I fucked her. She thrust herself back at me with every one of my in-strokes. I had her moaning again, her breathing extremely labored. She began a steady flow of filthy words, which really encouraged me to pound her cunt; it was tighter from this position. It was really paradise, being inside her like this.

I gripped Mindy's fleshy hip and slammed my cock continuously into her. I was nearing my own boiling point when Mindy screamed that she was cumming again. I could feel the assault her pussy juice gave; it coated my cock and really oozed out around it. I picked up my pace, if that was at all possible; my hips were a blur as I jackhammered her abused pussy. I announced that I was going to cum.

"Pull out! Pull out, Ian!" she screamed, but it was too late. I gripped Mindy's hips tighter and slammed one last time into her; I could feel my balls clench as my cum traveled up the length of my dick like lava traveling through a volcano, and exploded with a vengeance inside Mindy. My back was arched and the tips of my fingers were white from gripping Mindy's hips. I loosened my grip and let the feeling come back to my fingers. My cock slowly deflated and I pulled out. I used Mindy's ass as a not-so-stable thing to rest my hand as I tried to get on my feet; I ended up pushing Mindy forward and shove into the sand.

Sputtering, Mindy rolled over onto her back. Her blond hair was disheveled, one breast was exposed and her legs we splayed. I could tell she was shooting daggers at me. I laughed for a moment and extended my hand to help her up. "I'm really sorry," I told her.

Mindy looked up at me with forgiving eyes and brushed the sand from her body and readjusted her bikini pieces, and I handed her shorts. I inspected mine and noticed some spots on them from Mindy's cum. I put them on and dove into the ocean. I came out soaking wet, but no longer covered in sand. Mindy stood on the shore, waiting for me. "You're crazy," she smirked.

"Let's go back to the party and get some more beer," I said.

Mindy and I walked back to the fire and we discovered the numbers grew since we were gone. Steve noticed me walking up and made our arrival known. Mindy blushed. It was obvious what we had been doing. Steve asked me why I was soaking wet. I announced I decided to take a quick dip in the ocean, and everyone found this amusing for reasons unknown to me. I did end up grabbing a couple beers for Mindy and myself, but that was the last time I saw her. I got swept up with hanging out with my friends, I ignored her. I could tell she was clinging to me, but I didn't want a girlfriend so I brushed her off. The next time I looked to see if she was still hanging around, I couldn't find her. I assumed she must have left the party, and I didn't have contact with her again until 2 months later.

Those 2 months later, Mindy called me at Steve's house. She informed me rather gravely that she was pregnant. As I mentioned earlier: consequences. She insisted that it was mine because she didn't have sex again after our encounter. I was inclined to believe because I wanted to believer her. I found out that Mindy and her family was Catholic and they condemned abortion as a grave evil. She told me that even if she could abort the growing fetus inside her, she wouldn't. She desperately wanted to know what I thought. She told me it was adoption, unless I wanted to keep the baby. She cried, begging me to keep the baby. I don't know what it was, but something inside me clicked. I had created this life with Mindy, and I couldn't imagine it going to another family. I told her I wanted to keep the baby, though I knew I had no idea how I would raise it. I had to call Mindy back because I had to speak with Paul and Carla desperately.

I found them in the backyard, drinking iced tea from chilled glasses, decorated with brightly colored paper umbrellas. I took up a chair and sat with them, though not speaking.

"Is something wrong, Ian?" Carla asked. I worked out in my head what to say.

I explained to them what had happened at the bon fire months ago, and told them I just got off the phone with Mindy after she told me she was pregnant. They were speechless for several long moments. I sat there quietly, waiting for them to respond. Paul was the first to respond, and his response was to slap me upside the head.

"Ouch!" I yelled and leapt back from him, almost falling completely out of my chair. I now stood out of arm's length from Paul. Carla had rolled her eyes and slapped her husband upside his own head. "Have I taught you nothing about condoms from the months you've been living here?" Paul asked.

"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed profusely. "I know I was stupid!"

"Mistakes happen, Ian," Carla told me. "What else did Mindy say?"

"She is going to have the baby, but she doesn't want to keep it."

I slid my chair away from Paul's reach and sat back down.

"Is she going to give it up for adoption?" Paul asked.

"I told her I wanted to keep it, but I had to speak with you before anything is set in stone."

Paul and Carla were silent again for ages. They kept exchanged looks, switching back and forth between me and each other. Finally, Carla set her drink down and looked at me squarely.

"Our first order of business is to see your parents, Ian. We're not your parents, though I surely think of you as a son. I know you and your parents are estranged, but this might change things. Regardless of the outcome, I think they'll want to know that they will be grandparents."

My old house was a 20 minute drive. Carla and I were quiet during the drive over there. She pulled up slowly and parked in front of the house. I looked at the yard, at the weeds growing in the flower beds and noticed how wild the grass had gotten. It was strange; my parents had always been so anal about the appearance of the yard and garden.

Carla and I got out of the car and walked up the front walk to the door. I didn't have a key, though if I did I wouldn't have used it. I didn't consider this house to be my home anymore; I wouldn't have felt right about letting myself in. Plus, my dad probably would have thought I was an intruder and may have shot me with one of his guns. As we got closer, we noticed the mail spilling over the mailbox. I glanced at Carla; she had a grim look on her face. I took a deep breath and raised my fist to knock the door but Carla grabbed my wrist before I could make contact. She motioned to the door, making me notice that it was cracked open behind the outer door. I slowly opened the outer door, wincing when it creaked loudly.

"I'm going to go around back," Carla whispered. I told her to be careful. "You, too," she said.

I pushed the inner door open silently and closed the screen door quietly behind me. I saw the very top of Carla's head as she passed the window across the room. I ventured further into the room and noticed the surfaces were covered in a thin film of dust. The old picture frames that once hung on the walls were no longer there, leaving clean spots in different shapes and sizes. I noticed that the only pictures that remained contained me in them.

"Hello?" I called out tentatively. There was only silence in response. I continued to walk through the house, noticing the missing objects I remember being in certain spaces. More pictures of me remained. The hallway had several moving boxes. I sidestepped them and walked into the kitchen. I started a moment when I saw a figure standing at the sliding door, but then noticed it was only Carla. I walked across the tiled floor of the kitchen and unlocked the door to let her in.

"There are things missing," I told her as she shut the door behind her and locked it.

"What's missing?" she asked, looking around her surroundings. She, too, noticed the dusty appearance of all the surfaces. There were even some dirty dishes in the sink.