I'm a What? [BOOK FOUR]

I thought for a second before an idea popped into my mind. I turned to Helena and she smiled at me encouragingly. Heifer had planned it all. She was way too smart for her own good. "Okay. I have the perfect one." I took a deep breath and started, "So there was this girl who woke up in a morgue and her first thought was 'I'm a vampire.' Crazy, right? Well, it all started when her boyfriend cheated on her with their take out guy and she..."

It took over almost two hours to get through the story of my undead life, my ups and downs, scars and trophies. But as I told it, I realized something: I might have changed, but I retained everything that made me me. I was still Georgia Kent, but I was also Peaches. The two couldn't be separated. I hadn't suddenly become a different person after I died, I'd become the person I was always meant to be.

"Some of us don't die in the traditional sense, Deloris," Helena whispered softly when I finished my story and paused to let it sink in. "Death itself is just a transition; it is not the end all be all."

My gaze snapped to her. Intelligent green eyes met mine and I got the message loud and clear: "Death was not the end of us. What makes you think it will be the end of her?"

Helena had a point. I'd done the impossible and come back, and that proved that death wasn't an ending to anything. For me, it had been the beginning of everything. My life had started when I'd died. Who was I to say Deloris's life couldn't?

Her existence here was almost over, and right now she was just in pain. If I could help her even a little bit, why shouldn't I?

I squeezed my grandmother's hand. I finally got what she meant. Just because we were monsters didn't mean we had to do monstrous things. It was all choice, all perspective. I could choose to see death as an ending or I could choose to see it as a beginning. I could choose to let Deloris die slowly and in pain, or I could offer her an alternative. I was finally starting to see in color— not just the gray, but every color that made up the rainbow.

"Deloris?" I bent down to her so we were eye level, "What do you want to do?"

Pain-dulled gray eyes turned to me, but I saw the acceptance in them, the knowledge of the choice she was making. "I want to... change."

I smiled. "So do I. We can do it together."

I groaned as my wings folded out, but I didn't stop them. I didn't fear what I was going to do or have remorse about it. In that moment, I knew that someday I'd be able to feel the same way about my father. As I folded my wings over Deloris, and felt her soul travel from her body into mine, I tried not to think of this as murder but as a new beginning.

Her whispered, "Thank you," certainly helped.

Chapter Eighteen: This Is Not an Ending

"So..." I picked around the food on my plate before finally pushing it away with a sigh. "That just happened."

Bane looked up from his cellphone at me and raised a questioning eyebrow. "You finally accepting what you are and acknowledging that nothing is ever as simple as it seems, but that there are infinite possibilities?"

"Smart ass."

I meant everything: walking in on my boyfriend having sex with a guy; falling and dying on his front steps while I flashed everyone and loathed the fact that I wouldn't get to eat the brownies I'd made the sorry SOB; waking up in a cold morgue and stumbling around like an idiot with the idea that I was a vampire; meeting Bane, going on this wild and crazy adventure filled with all types of crap that would be way too hard to fit into a book. Hmm... maybe five books with the title Peaches in big purple letters.

"Haven't you been trying to stay away from books and TV shows?" Bane asked as he scrolled through his phone.

"Books about vampires, yes, but I'm talking about a memoir. Like Memoirs of a Geisha."

Bane looked at me and sent me the same look Casper usually gave, the poor little Peaches look. "You do know that was a work of fiction written by a white male, correct?"

No, I had not. Who names the title of the book Memoirs of a Geisha if they're not a freaking geisha and it's not their memoir? "Okay. Bad example."

I watched Bane continue to mess with his phone, and nearly had a kanipshin. I was getting real sick of him ignoring me. I was not a person to be ignored.

"'Kanipshin' is not a word, habibiti,"Bane murmured as he continued to swipe across the screen.

I snorted, "Pretty sure it's a word, Bane."

"It's not."

"Then why does Fran Drescher use it?" I argued.

The corner of his lips lifted, but Bane never took his eyes off the screen. "Because she is so well known for her use of correct English."

"Argh, enough!" I reached over the table and snatched the phone away from him. "If we're going to have a serious conversation, you need to get off your damn phone. You've been on your phone since yesterday, and I'm sick of it."

I eyed my husband, daring him to tell me I was wrong and try to get the phone back. He looked at me, brown eyes only slightly tinged red. But Bane was nothing else, if not surprising. "You're right," he agreed, "I'm sorry."

For once Bane was actually listening to me. Miracles do happen!

His lips twisted. "I always listen to you."

Pfft. Yeah, I believed that one. The first time Bane and I had met, he hadn't listened to me. He'd just ordered me around like a servant. Drive me in my luxury car. Sleep in my five star bedroom. Stare at my sexy, naked, glistening body.

He was just so demanding.

My husband threw his head back and laughed, rattling some of the other customers sitting around us. I smiled, glad to see some things hadn't changed. I was still amusing and he was still amused.

Dark eyes raked me, settling on my breasts. "You're not just amusing, Peaches."

I snapped my fingers in front of his face and pointed my index and middle finger at him, then my eyes. "Up here, Bane."

His eyes strayed back down to my chest. "But the view below is so enticing."

I snorted, "Are you going to tell me what's been going on now?" It wasn't like I'd missed the signs of stress on him. I'd seen his fangs pop out at least twice while he'd been reading an email and we'd had to go to a store to get him a new phone because he'd crushed the last one in his palm.

The shit had long since hit the fan, and Bane was just sheltering me from the spray. But the spray would still hit me one way or another, and as gross as it sounded in this metaphor, I'd rather see it coming.

"There's nothing new to report," he forced out, but I could tell he wanted to keep me in the dark. I loved my husband, but his whole 'Me man, I protect you. You woman, you stay safe' thing was getting old.

I tapped my chin. "Everyone knows about the dead Merchants. Zeno and Casper are trying to keep everything together, but it's not working, and Luther and Samantha are trying to rebuild. That about sum up the old report?"

"I thought it was an unsaid rule that you wouldn't read my mind again?"

He was right, that was what I'd started to do more or less, but what my husband forgot was that I was a 21st century gal. We didn't need to read minds to figure out our men, we could just read their phones.

Bane reached over and used vampire speed to snatch the phone back. "I don't want you to worry unnecessarily."

I snorted and crossed my arms under my chest. "I have to worry. I have to freak out. I have to panic. I have to learn to deal with crap thrown in my path. That's life."

Yup, that was pretty much my new motto. That was life. There were ups and downs, and eventually it ended. I just wasn't sure when the ride would stop for us, or even if I wanted it to. I loved my friends, my husband, everything I'd become. Yeah, I wasn't so keen on the soul-eating thing, but it could have been worse. I could be some kind of weird creature that lived on cat feces or gluten free, soy free, vegan mac and cheese.

God, it sent a shiver down my spine just thinking about it.

The soul thing wasn't great, but I was a firm believer that some people just needed to die. If you're a murdering pedophile, don't come looking to me for mercy. And if you're a raping necrophiliac, best believe if I catch you, you'll be counting down the seconds to your death.

I wasn't merciful, but then again I'd never pretended to be. Yes, I'd killed a lot of people, done some stuff I wasn't proud of and other stuff that I was still struggling with, but that was the past. I wouldn't let my father's death hang over my head for the rest of my un-dead life because I knew—even as I hated to admit it—that I'd done the right thing. Would seeing my father slowly disintegrate in a hospital bed for days or weeks have been any better than giving him the peaceful passing he'd gotten? Probably not.

I wouldn't say that what I'd done was right because death was still death, and my morality was bitchy enough to remind me that mercy killing still involved killing.

But that was life. Messy, complicated life that wasn't about to get any easier from where I was sitting. Best thing would be if Bane and I weathered the storm, stayed together, and came out of it with as little scarring as possible. Basically, exactly the way we'd been doing.

So I was a butterfly thing. Hadn't seemed to change anything I did. I'd found the light, but that didn't stop me from continuing to fumble around.

"Are you done with the self-realization yet?" Bane interrupted.

I scrunched up my face and glared at him. "Shut up." He was just jealous because he didn't have awesome self-realization moments like me.

He smiled and shook his head. "Yes, that's why."

Now where was I? Oh, yeah. I was still fumbling around, but that was okay. My life was a series of Vernon Elliot moments. That was okay, too. It all fit, like chapters in a book, it all just came together in a jumble of sex, love, death, murder, humor, surprise, and life.

"It sounds like an ending to a book," Bane murmured as he slapped a few bills on the table and pulled me out of my seat.

Hmm, that would be cool, but also kind of tacky. Who left a book with such an anticlimactic ending?

I was still mulling over it and trying to dredge up any story I read that ended with no bow when Bane's phone rang. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, I wasn't hungry, and for the first time in a couple weeks my hair looked absolutely fabulous. I knew before Bane answered that phone it was gonna be trouble. I was a trouble magnet. It just loved me.

"Hello?"

I listened to the call, because it was one of the few calls Bane took that was actually in English. His expression became steadily worse and my heart began to beat faster. It's gonna be a new chapter in my life. No! It's gonna be a Vernon Elliott moment.

Bane's soft smile changed in an instant to alertness. "What did they see?"

Ding, ding, ding. And the winner is me!

"So this new technology completely destroys our ability to make it a hoax? Fuck."

There was some more mumbling, muttered agreements, and promises to come before her hung up. I stared up at Bane, waiting for it. The vampire didn't disappoint, but then again, Bane never disappointed.

"There has been a major leak to humans about us. Past the governments we control."

"Well that's not good." Understatement of the century.

He leaned down and buried his nose in the crock of my neck, breathing deeply. "We need to go to Lithuania."

I reached up and twined my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. "No rest for the wicked, Bane. On the plus side, you already know we're going to have crazy monkey sex on the plane."

His eyes zoomed in on my lips. "I like that idea."

"I knew you would."

I frowned. "I still need to learn from Helena."

"We'll bring her with us."

"Think she'll go for it?"

There's always your way if things don't work out."

I tried to look shocked that he would insinuate we'd kidnap her but failed with a laugh. "Nice. But that puts a hold on the monkey sex."

"You think I care if she hears?" he whispered, nipping my earlobe.

Ooh!

"I do."

"Hm."

That wasn't a yes or no, so I decided to placate him with good old car sex before we went to Helena's and got a move on. "Move your ass. Problems aren't going to fix themselves."

He pulled back and looked me up and down. "And you're going to fix them?"

I bust out laughing, "Hell no, I'm going to try to survive them!"

Bane bent over and gripped his sides in laughter. God he was sexy when he laughed, "Sounds like you."

I cocked my hip, tossed my hair, and blew him a kiss. "Now come on. I'll even let you be on top."