Keeping It Together

I was in my second year of college attending school out of state when word reached me that my father had died. It had been totally unexpected and a major shock to my mother and younger sister along with myself. Busy as I'd been away at school it had been almost an entire year since I'd even seen them. My sister Mandy had just recently graduated from high school and like me had been planning on attending school out of state. All that had changed now with the death of our father. Mandy and mom had always been close, a bonding that had in fact left me feeling a little jealous of their relationship. I hadn't had the same type of closeness and affection with my own father, feeling much closer to my mother than I ever had with him, but not even close to the same level than Mandy and mom had shared and known together.

Mandy had already decided to remain at home, keeping mom company and offering whatever love and support that she could as opposed to moving away and attending school elsewhere. And though finances wouldn't leave mom in any real desperate situation, I couldn't in all good conscience see myself remaining where I was either, and thus made preparations to return home and attend the same local university that my sister Mandy would be attending in the fall.

Needless to say my unexpected homecoming was a mixed blessing under the circumstances. I was delighted of course to finally see them again, Mandy had much to my surprise, changed dramatically in the short time since I had seen her last. Mother too had changed, looking a little more haggard perhaps than I remembered, but still wonderfully attractive even through all that. In many ways, the two of them could have passed for sisters. Mandy had the grace and natural beauty of youth of course, long dark hair which fell way past her shoulders, a sculpted body which she had kept in shape through her participation in the woman's basketball team that she played for in school. Mom as I said looked like a slightly older version of my sister, her hair the same color, though shoulder length, same matching pair of brown, almost golden colored eyes, and within an inch of one another in height nearly reaching six feet.

It had been a difficult two weeks after returning home, getting through the funeral, then sorting through what seemed like a mountain of personal items, not to mention the paperwork, most of which we boxed up to donate and give away to charity's after first selecting a few personal keepsakes for ourselves. It was understandable then that none of us had been in much of a good mood during this time, nor had I seen my own mother smile in so long that I began to wonder if she ever would again. When she finally did, it had come about most unexpectedly, and had caused me the greatest amount of embarrassment I had ever known. Looking back on it now, I was of course mortified, but later came to view the "incident" as we recalled it, as the major turning point in each one of our lives.

Crisis, hardship and stress can have a funny effect on people, and can very often lead us into dealing with it in a myriad of strange ways. Well, maybe for me anyway. That's how I dealt with it, doing something that I'm not sure most, if many would approve of or view as very appropriate or morally acceptable. I jerked off. A lot.

It wasn't about being horny, or in general had anything to do with sex at all. It was simply my way of relieving the stress, dealing with all the hardship and sadness that had smothered the atmosphere inside the house like a wool blanket on a hot summer's day.

I had left behind friends, one girl in particular. And though we'd just started getting close, and had become intimate, we hadn't gotten to the point where either one of us was ready or prepared to discuss any long-term commitments together. Still...leaving all that behind had been difficult enough, and one more stress factor that I now carried on my shoulders.

Another of course was mom now looking at me, and even referring to me as "The man of the house now," which carried with it far more responsibility than I was at the moment prepared to accept.

Mandy had left earlier that morning for the part-time job she had taken in order to save up a bit of money for school. Mom had left a short time later needing to do a few errands, leaving me alone at home with time on my hands, though I was glad for the downtime to myself.

I had promised to take the last of the things we'd planned on giving away, having just finished loading them up in the back of dad's truck when I went back inside the house to pee before leaving. Like I said, I was stressed at having to do that, and decided to do the one thing that had been bringing me some temporary relief. With everyone gone and out of the house, I wasn't at all concerned about getting caught, especially as I knew it wouldn't take me very long to cum. This wasn't one of those long drawn out masturbatory sessions I'd enjoyed with myself in the past. This was just about stroking myself off to a climax, a fast quick one...and then be on my way again. I'd stepped into the bathroom intending to pee first, which I did, without closing the door. I then proceeded to stand there fisting myself pointing my hard stiff cock directly at the toilet. I stood thinking about nothing really, no lusty images, and no thoughts of fantasy coming to mind. Just the simple concentration of sensation in getting myself off. So absorbed in this, I hadn't heard the unexpected return of my mother who'd left only minutes ago. She had left her wallet sitting on the dresser in her bedroom, remembering she had done so, and then returning in order to retrieve it.

She had reached the upper landing of the stairs without my having heard her. As she headed down the hallway towards her bedroom, she naturally passed by the open door where I currently stood, still stroking myself, eyes closed, and completely oblivious to her presence. Her peripheral vision had alerted her to the fact I was in there, and she had slowed thinking at first I was perhaps just brushing my hair or washing my hands perhaps, but then stunned into immobility at the realization of what it was that I was doing. Her timing couldn't have been any more perfect, or worse, depending on how you looked at it I guess, for it was at that precise moment I felt the first surge of my spunk leap from my prick and begin squirting into the toilet bowl below me. I had leaned forward, one hand on the wall in front of me for support, aiming my now exploding cock directly and purposely towards the bowl. At first, mom again thought I actually was peeing, and nearly spoke reminding me to close the bathroom door when I used the bathroom, even if I didn't think anyone was home. Which is when she swallowed whatever words she was about to say, her surprise at realizing what it was I was doing, likewise freezing her in place with the shock and uncertainty of how to respond to it. Especially as I stood there squirting spurt after spurt down inside the bowl as she stood there watching me.

Even then, I wasn't aware she was standing there, until I heard her gasp, and the sound of footsteps hurrying down the hall to her bedroom. Even as I fumbled to shove my prick back inside my pants, I heard the sound of her bedroom door opening, and then closing rather quickly.

"Fuck!" I said to myself, embarrassed, mortified, and now confused more than ever as to what to say to her about it, if anything. I decided to say nothing, hope for the best in the event she might pretend nothing at all had happened, which is what I decided to do unless she did otherwise. I flushed the toilet, watching my cum-curdles swim down through the whirlpool making sure they all entirely disappeared and left no tangible trace of what I'd just done, and headed back down stairs to the truck.

Needless to say, I fretted and worried about it the entire time I was gone, trying to come up with some reasonable justification for my behavior without coming up with one, and then sheepishly returning home a while later knowing I would have to face my mother.

Not too surprisingly, she didn't say a thing when I came into the kitchen. She stood putting away the few groceries she'd gone to pick up.

"Can I help?" I asked, wondering if that might trigger any dialogue, which it did, but giving me a sigh of relief in the way that she answered.

"That would be nice...thank you," she said simply, though I noticed a slight flush in her cheeks as she said that. We fell into an easy rhythm of working together while we put things away, even joking a little, which was in a way, a means whereby we both took the edge off the unspoken, and basically going on as though nothing in fact had ever happened. Relieved, I soon after retired up to my own room for a brief nap with mom assuring me she'd wake me up in time for dinner if I hadn't woken myself up before then.

I had in fact woken up a short time later, a bit of a light sleeper anyway, hearing the sound of voices coming down from below. Obviously my sister was home and was talking to mom, though it was the sound of laughter that had caught my attention. Like I said, I hadn't heard anyone laugh around the house in so long that I'd forgotten what it sounded like. Curious, I slipped out of bed and began heading down the stairs when the sound of their conversation drifted up towards me.

"Shh, not so loud," mom said trying to stifle a giggle, "He's still asleep!" I realized then they were talking about me, and froze just outside the door, listening.

"I still can't believe you actually saw Danny," Mandy said calling me by the name she always had, though everyone else of course called me Dan, or Junior after my father. "And not only doing that...but that you actually saw him squirting!" she added, laughing out loud once again, just as mom once again tried to quiet her down, though laughing nearly as loud herself as she tried to do so.

"I know! I know!" Mom now added, the chuckle in her voice obvious. "At first I didn't know what to do, I just stood there, my eyes were riveted to Danny's cock, watching it spurt, realizing that he'd discover I was standing there at any moment. All I could think to do was hurry off and hope that maybe he'd think I hadn't seen him in there, and had just gone down to my room. But even now, I'm not sure he didn't see me, I mean...he must have now that I think about it!"

Once again my sister was in stitches, the two of them laughing about it...laughing at me. But oddly enough, just hearing the sound of their combined laughter brought a smile to my face, even if it was at my own expense. It felt good hearing that once again.

"I never caught Danny ever doing it, but I did catch daddy once," Mandy suddenly stated out of the blue. There was a momentary pause, and then another snicker as mom spoke.

"Oh my god no! You didn't! Really?" Mom again giggled however, it was obvious now the two of them were enjoying this moment together. I was half tempted to return to my room and let them share this moment in privacy, but I couldn't, now curious myself as to where and when she had seen him. "Where?" mom now asked prompting my sister to continue, asking the silent question I had already asked myself.

Though she lowered her voice somewhat conspiratorially, I was suddenly glad to be standing just outside the kitchen doorway where I could still easily hear the two of them.

"It was during the last week of school, if you remember, there wasn't much that was still going on. Aside from a few activities, there really weren't any more classes, so the senior's were permitted to go home early if they chose too. Which I did. Obviously daddy wasn't expecting me home so soon. I remembered that he'd taken a few days off in order to clean out the garage, so that's where he was when I came home, obviously he hadn't heard me come into the house."

"He was in the garage?" Mom asked surprised by this obvious revelation, to which Mandy again chuckled, and though I couldn't actually see it, I could imagine her sitting there nodding her head.

"Yeah, remember those old girly pin-ups he had on the walls before you actually made him take them down?"

"Yeah? So?"

"Well he may have taken them down alright, but he certainly never got rid of them! I had come into the kitchen to grab myself a snack, and heard him outside in the garage. I had intended to go out let him know I was home. I walked over to the door, looked through the window, and saw him standing there. Which is when I realized his pants were down around his ankles, and then the next thing I saw, was daddy jerking himself off. He'd actually spread out several of those old pin-up photos he still had, on top of the work bench he used to use, and was just standing there looking at them playing with himself!"

"Oh my god!" Mom exclaimed once again, still trying to hold down her own laughter, though it was quickly turning into tears, happy tears by the sound of it too. "He didn't see you?" she then asked.

"Oh hell no!" Mandy retorted, I sort of ducked around the side of the door, though I continued to peek through the window at him just in case. Like you, at first I couldn't believe I was actually seeing my own father doing that, but I guess now, I can tell you. I was fascinated to see that he was. I mean yes, it was shocking too of course, just like it was for you catching Danny, but at the same time...it was sort of erotic too ya know?"

"I know," Mom whispered, sounding a little uncomfortable and even embarrassed, perhaps because she was actually discussing this with her own daughter, sharing secrets about me as well as the old man. "Maybe I shouldn't admit this to you either, but yeah...it was somewhat erotic seeing Dan standing there doing that. I didn't realize until now anyway, just how similar he and his father were in that department."

"So he's got a pretty good sized cock too?" Mandy asked curiously. I felt my face redden with embarrassment at being discussed like this, especially being discussed between my own mother and sister. But I was also finding myself becoming aroused at hearing it, much to my surprise, and could have no more turned away now than fly to the moon!

"Well, from what I could see, for as long as I was able to see it...yes," Mom giggled once again. Then I heard her sigh, the previous giggles suddenly turned off, as she sounded far more serious, and more melancholy once again. "And I'll never again know the feeling of that now will I?" She asked herself as opposed to actually asking or responding back to my sister. There was a long momentary pause. I found myself actually holding my breath, fearful that one of them might stand up and discover my presence.

"Maybe in time mom...maybe you'll find someone else."

I heard mom sigh once again. This time sad once again. "I doubt it honey...we had something very, very special. An openness, an uninhibited way with one another that I don't think I could ever again find with anyone else."

I knew Mandy was trying to keep things light, trying to perk mom up again with her response. "Is that why you and dad were always so damn loud and noisy whenever the two of you were getting it on?" She stated.

"Mandy!" Mom exclaimed.

"Well you were you know!" Mandy shouted back. "Hell, Danny and I always knew when the two of you were going at it, and were amazed that you did so as often as the two of you were. No one else's parents ever did it that much, at least not as much as any of our friends ever told us their parents were...but you two certainly did!"

Once again there was silence. Mandy's attempt at frivolity had suddenly brought their giggling session to a very abrupt end. I quickly and silently made my way back up the stairs to my room, remaining there until Mandy came to actually fetch me for dinner. Not too surprisingly, which perhaps I should have expected, she wasn't about to let me off the hook either. I heard the knock on my bedroom door.

"Danny? You up? Dinner's ready," she called through the door, knocking once again.

"Yeah, yeah...I'm up," I answered her back. "You can come in you know," I told her.

She opened the door and stood there looking at me. I was dressed, sitting on the edge of my bed.

She smiled, half giggling as she stood there. "Thought I'd better knock first...just in case," she said letting me know in no uncertain terms that mom had told her about catching me in the bathroom, though I already knew that of course.

"Oh great...anyone else know about me jerking off? And getting caught by my own mother doing it?" I asked.

Mandy burst out laughing. "Well, she was on the phone with Aunt Chris a while ago...so maybe!"

I reached over, grabbed the pillow off my bed and threw it at her. But Mandy was too fast for me, stepping back through the door closing it before I'd even come close to hitting her. Knowing mom, there was a really good chance that Aunt Chris now knew about it too.

**

Somehow we managed to get through dinner without any additional comments or innuendos being said about it, which was a big relief to me as I figured that might be the end of it. The three of us had even sat and watched a movie together, though mom soon after excused herself saying she was tired and going upstairs to bed. Mom kissed us both, her hugs lasting a moment or two longer than usual, and then she hurried on upstairs to her room.

I sat looking at my sister for a few moments afterwards. She had the same concerned look on her face that I did. "I'm really worried about mom," I told Mandy. "I mean...stands to reason and all, but aside from going to work, all she does is come home and then go to sleep. This is the latest in a long time that she's actually stayed up with us," I stated.

"Give her time," Mandy said not sounding all that sure about it herself. "She'll come around...eventually. But she can't do it all by herself either," she added. "Which is also why I'm glad you decided to move back home, she needs you more than ever now," Mandy said sounding far more mature in her years than she ever had. "And not that you're dad or anything like that, but I think mom needs to feel the strength and support of having a man around the house...and you're certainly that," she grinned, making the one and only directed comment all evening about me.

I might not have been as close to mom as Mandy was, but Mandy and I had also been fairly close growing up through the years, so candidly discussing some of the things we had talked about in the past wasn't entirely out of the norm for us either. Even though it had been a while since we'd discussed or shared anything too intimate or sexual in nature. Because of that, I didn't feel too awkward in speaking with her about it. The fact that I took note of Mandy only wearing a man's white tee shirt and pair of panties, something she quite naturally wore around the house late in the evening, had given me rise quite unexpectedly. Like I said, my sister had grown up a lot more in the space of a year than I'd imagined she would. Her slightly fuller breasts, braless beneath the tee shirt stood out quite prominently, her hard-pressed nipples poking out and against it.

"I can't believe you and mom actually sat and discussed me jerking off," I said matter of factly, but letting her know in an instant that I knew they had been. "It's not like you don't either you know," I tossed out, though I'd certainly never caught her at it, and was simply fishing here, though trying to put myself on even level ground with her once again as I did.

"Maybe so...but no one's ever caught me doing it either," she said in defense of my accusation. "At least I'm smart enough to close my door! You on the other hand..." she snickered, laughing at her own joke, "God...would I have loved to have seen that...I can only imagine," she continued giggling.