Mates

I was 12 when my brother Eric brought Bill home from football practice one day. They were 15. And for the next three years, he practically lived at our house...treating me like a little sister, ruffling my hair.

During those years, I hid in my room as much as possible. He made me feel excited and giddy and that was so not me. My body reacted to him in strange ways that I had yet to understand. I was chubby and had red hair, a stark contrast to his six pack and chocolate skin, but I was drawn to him and the way he made me feel.

They went to college together a few states away, and God, I missed him. Okay...Eric, too. I had turned 16 the first year they were away and when they came home for summer break, they were either working part-time or in our new in-the-ground pool. I was doing laps one day while Mom, Dad and Eric were working. Someone swam next to me, wrapped their arm around my waist and pulled me flush against their body. I surfaced, my arms flailing about wildly.

"Nanc! So good to see you," Bill hugged me tight.

I froze, my hands clenched in fists on his shoulders as I felt him against me. His face tucked into my neck, nuzzling me. We were in the deep end and when he held me at my lower back, my legs automatically lifted, wrapping around his waist. He tread water, keeping us both afloat.

"You scared me!" I cried out.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," he said, pulling back to look at me.

God, he was a beautiful man. His shoulders were so strong, so muscular under my freckled hands. He looked down at my cleavage that had been pushed up and out by his chest and I felt something nudging my core. I inhaled sharply and those whiskey chocolate eyes of his looked up, piercing mine and sending my heart aflutter.

He relaxed his grip, letting me slip away. I made my way towards the steps in the low end and looked over my shoulder to see him following me. I certainly didn't want to climb out of the pool with my butt in his face and realized I would have to sit and chat when Eric came flying around the corner and cannon balled into the pool. Bill smiled at me and then headed back to the deep end. As soon as his back was to me, I snagged my bath sheet that was on the chair nearby and covered myself shoulders to ankles.

I was on my way in the back door when I felt Bill staring at me. I smiled weakly before locking myself in my room, hiding away from whatever was going on inside of me.

It would be two more years before I was alone with Bill again.

Prom night had been a huge disappointment. All of my friends were ending the night hooking up and I was ending it on a lounge chair in my back yard. My date and I had been friends for years. I don't know if I was ready to lose my virginity, but it would have been nice to finally be kissed. He hadn't even wanted to dance with me. He was more interested in sipping whatever booze he had poured into his flask.

"Nanc?" Bill whispered as he approached. I immediately turned my head the other way, frantically wiping away my tears. "Are you okay?"

"Hi Bill," I answered shakily. "Yeah, I'm...f-fine. I was just gonna head in..."

I stood up and bent down to grab my heels. When I turned around, he was right in front of me.

"You look so beautiful," he said. "That color green...you're stunning."

"Uh, thanks," I tried to side step him when he reached out to touch my arm.

"Why are you out here all alone? Where's your date?" he asked as he rubbed my arm up and down. He was so incredibly warm. I felt more in that moment then I had all night.

I shrugged.

"You've been crying. Did he hurt you?" he asked.

I shook my head no.

"Please tell me why you were crying. I'd like to help," he sounded so sincere.

"He didn't really want to be with me. We didn't dance...nothing," I croaked out, fighting back tears. "I was just stupid to think...you know...that tonight would be magical, that it would mean something."

Bill sighed, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. Great, I thought, I'm already boring him. I moved to walk away and he held tighter to my arm.

"Give me one second, Nanc," he pleaded. He scrolled for a few more seconds before placing his phone on the table nearby. As he turned back to me and took my heels from my hand, I heard my favorite song, 'If You Say My Eyes are Beautiful,' begin.

"May I have this dance?" he asked.

"Oh Bill..." I whispered, "you don't have to..."

"I want to," he said, wrapping one arm around my waist. He clasped my hand in his, pulling them and me to his chest.

His white undershirt felt so soft under my cheek, covering the warm wall of muscle that I so loved to see. He was so solid, so strong, holding me so tight against him. The bottom of my green dress flared out, brushing against his track pants. He was so tall, I kept my free hand around his waist, moving it up and down his back to feel his warmth. And each time I stroked him, his arm around my waist gripped me tighter. His chin rested on top of my head and I could feel his breath on my scalp, his heartbeat beneath my ear.

I was 18 and he was 21 and I had wanted him since I was 12. He was a man who viewed me as a little kid. He knew this was my favorite song because I played it over and over. He was being so kind to me and I prayed the song would never end.

His hand holding mine dwarfed me. His fingers were so long, so thick. No one had ever held my hand. I was hypnotized by our colors, wondering what all of our limbs would look like entwined.

I heard the song beginning to end and I lifted my head from his chest, peering up at him. Now or never, Nanc, I told myself and I went on tiptoe to kiss the little dimple in his chin, resting my palms on his shoulders. He stopped dancing, grabbing my hips with both hands.

"Thank you so much, Bill. This truly was the best part of my night," I whispered.

His eyes swept over my face, my hair, my lips. His right hand came up to cup my jaw, his thumb tracing my bottom lip and I moaned at the feel of him touching me so intimately. At my sound, he gripped me tighter and pulled me against him. The moment his breath touched my lips, I melted, grateful that he was holding me up.

Bill's mouth touched mine so lightly, his lips gently brushing back and forth. I dug my nails into him, pushed my breasts against him, pressed my belly into his cock. He groaned, like he was losing a battle, and slid his hand into my hair to curl around my neck. He took my mouth. His lips consumed me, his tongue sinking deep. My nipples were like granite pressing into the muscle of his chest, my pussy dripped with my desire for him.

My first kiss was actually happening and it was with Bill. He was everything I had ever imagined. He was touching me and tasting me so intimately and I never wanted him to stop. My head was fuzzy, yet clearer than it had ever been. I had always been so nervous, so shy around him, but the minute I knew he wanted me too, all those insecurities disappeared.

My hands went up around his neck, my arms wrapped around him, pulling him even closer as I sunk my tongue into his mouth. His left hand squeezed my ass as he welcomed my tongue, sucking it as he ground his cock into me. I whimpered as he plundered my mouth, opening me in a way I had never imagined.

"Nanc..." he pulled back slightly at my sound.

"Bill, please don't stop," I begged.

He dropped his forehead to mine, catching his breath, releasing my ass, running his hand up my back. I leaned up, searching for his mouth but he tugged my head back, keeping distance between us.

"Go," he whispered.

"What?!?" I held tight to him. I could not have heard him correctly.

"I should have never...I am so, so sorry," he shook his head.

"Don't say that," I teared up, "I wanted you to, it was perfect."

He shook his head again and stepped back, keeping me at arm's length.

"Bill..." I reached for him.

"Go," he growled.

"No!" I cried.

"Then I will," he said.

He dropped his arms, picked up his phone and walked towards the back door. I watched him go, my body shaking at the loss. He opened the door and never looked back. I collapsed back on to the lounge chair, wrapped my arms around myself and cried. Worse than I had ever cried in my life.

Four years later, I stood on his doorstep. I still felt the loss. On my loneliest days, I still cried over the humiliation and my ache for him.

There was an incredible opportunity for me in this city and I wasn't going to lose out over it because of him. I was fresh out of college and starting an internship as a production assistant on a cooking show. Eric owned the house and his company had sent him overseas for a year. I was moving into his master suite and becoming Bill's roommate.

I was just about to insert the key into the lock when the door swung open. Bill filled the doorframe.

"Nanc!" he beamed.

I was glad to be wearing sunglasses. The sight of him made my heart ache.

Before I could even move or respond, he stepped down, wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me, swinging me around on the porch. I clutched his biceps, startled at his reaction and his ability to lift me.

"So, roomie..." he said, setting me back down on my feet, "don't believe anything Eric told you about me. I am neat and I love to cook so I am ideal to live with."

He took my tote bag from my shoulder and grabbed the two suitcases I had brought up to the porch.

"I'll take this in for you and then come back out and get the rest of the stuff from your car," he motioned for me to walk in the door ahead of him.

"I'll go grab some now," I told him, needing to get off of the narrow porch. I hadn't remembered how much space he took up. I was beginning to feel dwarfed by him again, surrounded by him.

I took a step back and didn't realize how close I was to the steps. I started to tumble and would have went flying if Bill hadn't dropped my bags and caught me, pulling me flush against his body.

"I'm such a klutz," I muttered.

"No, you're not," Bill brushed my hair away from my face. "I've got you, Nanc."

His hands tightened around my waist as mine dug into his biceps. I looked up at him and all my Prom memories came flashing back. I was hopeful he couldn't see my eyes through my sunglasses but God, I could see his. They went from laughing to smoldering, from whiskey to dark chocolate. My pussy flooded and I bit my lip, determined not to make a sound. His gaze dropped to my mouth and I snuck my tongue out to soothe my lip. He inhaled sharply before stepping back.

"I've got these," he said as he picked up my suitcases and tote and headed into the house.

I went back to the car and grabbed some more stuff, concentrating on my breathing and my walking. You got this, Nancy, I told myself.

The house smelled amazing when I walked in. I noticed the table was set with a candle and a bottle of red wine. He must have been making dinner for his current girlfriend. I walked towards Eric's master and dropped my bags in the doorway, my mouth hanging open in shock.

"I hope you like it," Bill said, walking towards me from the corner. "I asked Eric if I could make it nicer, so you would feel at home. I did it a week ago so hopefully the smell is gone..."

I grasped his arm, holding tight as I took in the room. It had been a putrid pea green when Eric moved in and he had claimed to be fine with it, never doing anything to spruce it up. The walls were now painted an indigo blue shade, the hard wood floors had been sanded and polished, a new sleigh bed with chocolate brown and blue linens, and vases of white daisies adorning each nightstand.

"You...you did all of this? Why?" I asked.

"Well...for you," Bill shrugged. "It was no big deal. I just want you to be happy."

I turned to stand in front of him and looked up at him. I felt myself tearing up as I met his sweet gaze before completely hurling myself at him. I literally threw my arms around his neck and pressed my breasts to his chest, plastering myself completely to him. He groaned on contact and slid his arms around me, low on my waist. He buried his face in my shoulder, his mouth resting on me right where my boatneck bared me.

"This is so amazing, Bill," I breathed against his neck, "thank you...thank you so much."

I would have held on forever if I hadn't heard the oven timer. I pulled back, smoothing my hands down his chest before completely stepping back and breaking contact.

"I better let you get to your dinner. I imagine your date will be here soon," I turned, stumbling over a bag. "I'm just going to get settled, if that's okay. Unless you'd rather I head out..."

Bill grabbed my elbow, pulling me back around. He touched my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"I'm looking at my date, Nanc, and I expect you in the kitchen in 30 minutes," he said and walked away.

I watched him go, so yummy in his dark jeans and tight black t-shirt. Ten years later and still, no one could compare to Bill. No one had ever made me feel like he does. At college, I had focused on my studies. I had no interest in going out with anyone or having anyone touch me. When I got horny, I masturbated with my black dildo to photos of Bill. I started reading erotica and when I watched porn, it was black men and white women with red hair. I imagined it was Bill and me. The contrast of colors fascinated me.

Eric had told me that Bill didn't date much. He was a sports agent and focused on his job. Instead of buying himself a house when he started out, he had bought one for his Mom and Dad. He now helped out with Eric's mortgage by paying him rent but Eric knew that wouldn't last much longer. They could both afford to live on their own but since they were both adjusting to city life, this would work for a while.

I was unpacking my underwear and pajamas when Bill appeared in the door with two boxes.

"I completely forgot!" I moved towards him with a bra in my hand.

"I remember that color," he motioned towards my bra as he set the boxes down.

"What?" I asked.

"That was the color of your Prom dress, the exact color of your eyes," he said.

I blushed. He had remembered.

"I thought I was the only one who remembered that night," I whispered.

"No man forgets a kiss like that. I'm sure you leave a trail of broken hearts wherever you go, Nanc," he smiled at me as he headed towards the door. "Leave all this and come out for dinner soon. I can help you later...especially the bag you're currently unpacking." He winked at me and headed out the door.

I grabbed the last box he had set down. I knew it had my toiletries and makeup. I took it to the master bath to unpack and stopped in awe. This room had been painted, too. Light blue with brown towels and little brown wicker baskets and containers placed on the counter for all my stuff.

Bill had always been kind to me but this...these gestures were totally unexpected. Why would he do all of this for me? In the four years since that kiss, we hadn't been alone together. He had always chatted with me when he was around but someone else had always been in the room. And he always came over alone. When my parents would ask him if he was seeing anyone, I would leave the room. I couldn't bear to hear. I often felt his eyes on me when I walked away but it could have been my imagination. No one could feed my imagination like Bill.

I not only read erotica, I had begun to write some. It was always about us, and everything I dreamed we could be together, the heights we could climb. I wanted him over me, completely covering me with his weight. I wanted to feel and touch and taste every last inch of him.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I emptied the box. My cheeks were flushed and my eyes were glowing. A few pieces of hair had fallen from my loose bun. No sense in doing damage control. Bill knew what I looked like.

I walked back down the hallway, pass the office, the hall bath and Bill's room before arriving in the open space of the kitchen, dining room and living room. He was at the counter with a towel slung over his shoulder, mixing together salad dressing.

"If your Mom could see you now..." I teased.

"She taught me well," he beamed, gesturing towards the table. "Sit and have some wine. I'll be right there."

"What can I help with?" I asked.

"Nothing, Nanc," he said. "What kind of guy would I be if I had my date helping with dinner?"

"I thought I was going to be your roommate for a year, not your..." my cheeks turned bright red.

Bill sat across from me and reached over to grab my hand that I had resting on the table. He squeezed my fingers and I looked up at him.

"Cheers, Nanc," he lifted his wineglass, "cheers to finding out what we are this year."

I gulped my wine, needing something to coat my throat, and tried my best to relax. What the hell did he mean by that?!?

"I know it's not gonna be as good as your Mom's but I tried my best at your favorites," he said as he began to fill my plate. Salmon, macaroni and cheese, asparagus and salad with gorgonzola and pears.

"You did so much, Bill, and now dinner? And the bathroom is amazing, too! When did you find the time?" I asked.

"I told Eric to go home and spend the week with you guys before he headed out. I really just wanted him out of my hair," he rubbed his bald head, "so I could focus and get it done. I never take vacation so I took off two weeks...one to paint and this coming week to show you around before you start your internship. Unless you have plans..."

Oh, my God. He was being so sweet to me. If he hadn't started flirting, I would think it's just because I'm Eric's sister. Just stay cool and go with the flow, Nanc. See what happens.

"Actually, I was going to head out and see if I could find a waitressing job. The internship doesn't pay anything so I was hoping to waitress a couple nights a week and definitely on the weekends. Maybe you can show me some popular spots that can guarantee good tips?" I asked.

"No, that's not necessary," Bill started eating and motioned for me to dig in. "You're covered here and you're going to have long days on the set. You should relax when you're not working. I'll take you around and show you the sites this week. I definitely need a vacation and I expect you to help get me out of this house and have some fun."

"Bill..." I began.

"Eat, Nanc," he motioned again to my plate.

I took a few bites. It was amazing. Everything was seasoned perfectly.

"Bill, this is so good. Thank you so much for everything. I'm...I'm overwhelmed. No one has ever..." I was struggling to find the words.

"You have the kindest heart of anyone I've ever known, Nanc," he put down his fork to look at me. "Let me take care of you while you're here, at least while you're getting settled. I don't want you out in the city late at night. I want you here, safe with me."

"Did Eric put you up to this big brother routine?" I blurted out.

"Maybe I haven't been clear so let me set the record straight now. I definitely do not think of you as a little sister. I never have," he took a sip of his wine. "And what you said earlier about staying in your room? Don't ever do that. I don't bring people home. I'm looking forward to coming home after a long day and hanging out with you. In our pajamas, on the couch, talking, watching a movie...whatever we want to do."

I took a few more bites, sipped some more wine and let that sink in. Bill went back to eating but still watched me.

"Does that mean you'd have a problem if I brought a guy home?" I asked.

His fork dropped to his plate, making me jump. His hands fisted on the table as his eyes went dark and he looked me dead in the eye. I searched for steam coming out of his ears.

"You're a beautiful woman, Nanc. Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked.

"Thank you, Bill. And no, I don't have anyone," I admitted.

"If you meet someone, feel free to bring him here," he exhaled. "I would much rather you be here than being worried about you in some stranger's place. All your friends are welcome here."