One Step at a Time

"Mom, I love you so much! Thank you for being here. Come in. Sit down."

"Yes, thank you. And...we need to talk, don't we?" she asked with a smile.

For the next four hours, mother and...child...talked for the first time in their lives. By 10pm, his mother said, "You poor, sweet child. I can't imagine how hard this must have been for you."

"None of that matters, Mom. All that matters is that you love me."

"Honey? I not only love you, I accept you, too. And starting tomorrow, after you wake up, I will treat you like my little girl, okay? But tonight, I have to have time to say goodbye to my little boy. Do you understand?"

Shades of Traci. "Yes, of course, Mom. And Brock needs this as much as his mother."

She knew his female name but wouldn't use it until her daughter woke up from surgery. It was her version of Brock's death, burial, and in some sense, Brooke's resurrection. He got it and he was more than happy to let his mom have this time to spend with the boy she loved and had given birth to.

Around midnight, both of them were finally ready to try and get some sleep. His mom hadn't said anything until she saw her son in what was a pair of androgynous pajamas.

"You have breasts. And hips," she said without judgment.

And he did. He was now just barely beyond a full-A and was a small-B cup. His mom was right. His hips had widened noticeably.

"They're both going to continue to grow," he said. "Hopefully anyway. If not, I may be having some...surgical assistance next year."

His mother smiled then said, "All I care about is for you to be happy. That's all." She hesitated then said, "Are you?"

"Yes," he told her. "I'm finally happy, Mom."

"Then so am I," she said. "Now let's try and get some sleep. We have to up in four hours, you know, and I have to do my makeup." She smiled then said, "I guess you will too, after this, huh?"

"Yes, Momma," he said finally getting up the courage to use the word that felt right for his mother.

"Momma. I like that. I like that very much," she told him.

By 5am they were in a cab and on their way to the surgical center. Brock held his mother's hand on the way and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Everything will be fine, honey," she assured him.

"I know. I'm just so happy you're here with me. That's all."

By 6:15, Brooke had her vitals checked one more time and was admitted. Dr. Shuster came in at 7:15 and said good morning to both ladies and told Brooke he'd be back just before they put her under.

"You ready?" he asked her.

"I've been ready for 20 years," she told him.

"Okay. Well, your life is about to change for the better, young lady," he told her. He then said goodbye and walked out.

"Young lady. Wow. This is really happening," her mother said.

"Yes it is, Momma. Are you still okay?"

"Of course I am, honey. Are you?" Brooke nodded then relaxed and waited. The sedative they'd given her was already working and she was in a kind of dreamlike state only partially aware of what she and her mother were talking about until the nurse came to wheel her away.

"Goodbye, my handsome son," she said kissing him on the forehead. "I love you with all my heart."

"You too, Mom," he said in his deepest masculine voice. "I love you, too."

A few minutes later, Dr. Shuster returned and gave the anesthesiologist the go-ahead. "Just count backwards from a hundred for me, okay?"

Brooke got to 97 before she lost consciousness. Five and a half hours later, she was wheeled into recovery and thirty minutes after that, she opened her eyes for the first time.

"Brooke? Honey? It's Momma. Are you okay?" she asked her new daughter.

"Oh, hi, Momma," she said trying to use her feminine voice. "Everything hurts."

"They said it's going to bad for a couple of days, honey. Don't worry. Momma's right here beside you, okay?"

Brooke couldn't even smile but inside, she was happy and no amount of pain could change that.

For the next 48 hours, Brooke lived with the pain and did exactly as the doctor and staff ordered. She got her first bandage change before leaving and the doctor asked if she wanted to see her new face.

"It's puffy, bruised, and swollen, but it is very feminine looking. Would you like to take a peek?"

Brooke nodded as her mom came around beside her to get a first glimpse of her daughter, too.

"Keep your eyes closed until I tell you," the doctor said as he carefully and slowly unwrapped the gauze. "Okay, open!"

Brooke eye's took a moment to focus and before they did, she heard her mother gasp and say, "Oh, my God!"

"What? Is it bad, Momma?" Brooke asked feeling that sick feeling. When her eyes focused, she understood.

"Oh...my...God," she mumbled. She looked at the doctor and asked, "Is that...is that...really me?"

"Yes, it is," he told her. "What do you think?"

"She's beautiful!" her mother said answering for her daughter.

Dr. Shuster saw Brooke tearing up and said, "Try not to cry. It'll make it even more difficult to breath and your head will hurt even worse."

Brooke choked back tears as she saw her new face. Yes, it was indeed bruised and swollen, but it was definitely the face of a woman. And in spite of the swelling, she could tell it was a very pretty face.

She reached out to hug the doctor and thanked him as she fought back tears. "Thank you so, so much!" she told him.

"You're very welcome," he replied. "Okay, I'm gonna sign your discharge papers and we'll see you back for one final checkup before you go home, okay?"

"What do you think, Momma?" she asked needing to know her opinion.

"You look beautiful, sweetie. Now I understand why you had this done. I kept trying to picture you as a woman and no matter what I did, it wouldn't work. But now? Oh, my. It definitely works! You are going to be so pretty! I can't wait to do your makeup and nails!"

Before they were checked out, Brooke's mom helped her change into what was essentially female attire although with the exception of a bra and panty set and the pink color of the clothes, could have been considered male. Her mom carefully placed the B-cup bra around her daughter, hooked it in back then had her slide her arms through the straps. Brooke took care of the panties herself then let her mom help her get into the pink sweatshirt she'd brought and a pair of black sweatpants and some tennis shoes.

"Very glamorous, huh?" Brooke mumbled after seeing herself in a mirror. Yet even in that outfit, her figure did not look masculine in any way. She'd need to wear something pretty to see if it looked feminine yet, but this was a very good start.

An aide wheeled her out front and helped her stand while Brooke's mom hailed a cab. When they got back to the hotel, her mom told her she'd bought a few things for her in anticipation of the big day.

"I noticed your ears aren't even pierced yet so you won't be able to wear these, but I thought they were very pretty." She handed her daughter a tiny box with two pearl earrings then gave her a strand of pearls she hadn't worn in years.

"Momma, this is too much and these are yours," Brooke said.

"I always wanted a daughter, sweetheart. And I always planned to give these to her just like my mother did when I graduated from high school. Now I want you to have them."

Brooke tried not to cry but it was impossible. "And...I got you this," she said handing her another small gift.

Inside was a pretty white nightgown. "So you'll have something to wear until you get home."

Brooke thanked her mom sincerely who brushed it off by saying, "How about we do your nails?"

Traci had done them once for her and Brooke had done them twice herself, but this was the first time painting them felt right. In less than 20 minutes, Brooke had ten beautiful, glossy, very-red nails. "We can't do your makeup for a while yet, but this will at least let you feel pretty." She smiled when Brooke thanked her then said, "No, thank you. I've waited my whole life to have a daughter and I think I'm more excited than you!"

They ate at the hotel for the next three days as Brooke's recovery slowly progressed. Her final checkup went perfectly and although the bruising and swelling were only slightly better, she just couldn't believe that was her face in the mirror. For the first time in her life, everything felt right. Well, with one very big exception in the worst possible place but...one step at a time, right?

A week later, Brooke's family physician, who had been informed a day in advance of her arrival at the office that she was transitioning, removed her bandages.

"I've been practicing medicine for 22 years and I've never seen anything so remarkable," she told Brooke when she removed the bandages and gently cleaned her face. "Had I not known you before I could not possibly tell you were once...you know," she told Brooke truthfully.

She handed her the mirror and said, "Here. See for yourself."

She took a quick look at her mom who was smiling from ear to ear. "Go ahead, honey. See for yourself."

Brook gasped when she saw her face. Nearly all of the bruising and swelling were gone and even without makeup, the results were stunning. "Oh, my goodness!" she said turning left then right. Her mom had styled her hair that morning and plucked her eyebrows. Brooke had to look a second and then a third time to process what she was seeing and even then couldn't believe it.

"The doctor was right, wasn't she?" her mom asked. And she had been right. Brooke's face was free of any trace of masculinity. From her forehead to her chin to her neck, there was no brow bossing or squareness anywhere. The sharp angles were gone, replaced by soft, smooth contours that gently flowed into each other.

As the left the doctor's office, Brooke's mother said, "Honey? I'm taking you for a surprise makeover. I have an appointment at 11am and we need to scoot to get there in time. Then we're going to lunch as girls for the first time and after that, I'm taking you shopping. All my treat!"

Brooke hugged her mother and told her how much she loved her again. "How can I ever repay you for all of this, Momma?" she asked trying once again to hold back tears.

"By being my beautiful daughter. That's all," she told her. "Now let's get a move on."

Ninety minutes later, Brooke saw herself—her real self—for the first time. As pleasant as her new image had been without makeup, when she saw herself after a full makeover for the first time, she couldn't speak. The first thing she thought of was Traci and how pretty she was. Objectively speaking, she was now even prettier than Traci. In fact, of all the women she'd ever seen as Brock, Brooke was as attractive as any he could recall short of a handful of models and actresses.

Between her hair, makeup, and the cute blouse and skirt she was wearing, Brooke looked and felt like a very attractive young woman.

"Okay, first stop?" her mother began. She touched one of her lobes and said, "You need some earrings and that means getting these pierced today!"

An hour later, Brooke was wearing a pair of very cute gold studs in her ears for the first time in her life.

"How's the pain?" her mom asked.

"Compared to have my face broken and smashed? This is a picnic!"

Brooke's mother took her to lunch in the mall then spent the next six hours going store to store to store buying everything a girl could need from underwear to shoes to enough clothes to fill a small closet. Brooke tried not to keep track of the money spent, but she knew it was well over $3,500 before her mom finally said, "Okay, that should get you started!"

There was one other very interesting part of this first full day as a woman that Brooke had enjoyed very much. Although it was the afternoon, school was out and the mall was very full of people. All day long, she got one smile after another from a lot of very cute guys of all ages—many of them walking with women who were either their wives or girlfriends. As a man, Brock had gotten the same kind of treatment from women so he was used to being checked out in public. But now, the right gender was finally looking back and the initial results were very, very promising indeed.

The following morning, her mother said, "As you know, I have to be heading home today. I wish I could stay forever with you, but you have a life to live and you don't need me hanging around with you."

"You'd be welcome to stay," Brooke told her sincerely.

"That's not possible, sweetie, but I do want to take some pictures before I go, okay?" her mom asked. "How about you try on a couple of new outfits and model them for me?"

Brooke was thrilled to just that and chose a very pretty dress that would be perfect to wear for work as her first outfit. She also added her new strand of pearls before coming out to have her picture taken.

"Oh, that is just so pretty!" her mom said. "Smile, honey!" She snapped several photos then asked her to try something else. Brooke came back in a green blouse and a khaki-colored skirt with matching heels and switched out the pearls for a gold chain necklace.

"That is just too cute!" her mom said. "Would you mind one more?" she asked sheepishly.

Brooke obliged her and changed into a white knit top and black skirt with black heels.

"Oh, my! Now that is just you!" her mom said as she posed for the camera.

"Are you going to show those to Daddy?" she asked with concern.

"Maybe. Or...maybe not. I just need to find a way to slowly bring this up. But don't worry. I'm on your side no matter what." She put her hands on Brooke's arms and said, "You know that, right?"

"Yes, Momma," she told her. "I do know that. You're the best mom a girl could ever have."

"And you are the best daughter a mother could ever have. Brooke? I am so proud of you for being so brave and for following your heart."

Brooke saw her mother's smile fade and asked if something were wrong. "It's just that were I as brave as you, I'd have left your father many years ago. But...I'm not so I stayed."

"Do you love him?" Brooke asked not totally shocked by this revelation.

"Yes, of course. But I don't feel 'in love' and haven't for a very long time. Your father is a difficult man to live with...and to love, honey. But that's my issue not yours. Yours is to start your new life, find someone to love who'll love you back, be a great teacher, and most of all—be happy. Please be happy, Brooke."

"I will, Momma," she promised. "I don't know how I'd have made it through this without you. I love you so much!"

They went out for lunch before her mother had to leave. Brooke was taken aback when she saw that the cute male server who waited on them had written his number on the back of their bill along with his name.

"I think you're going to do just fine in the romance department, honey," her mom teased when she showed it to her.

Brooke didn't blush, but she did smile. It felt so, so good to be a woman and to be attracting the kind of attention she'd craved all of her life. Life was now good and it promised to only get better.

After a tearful goodbye, Brooke headed straight to the county courthouse to fill out the paperwork to legally change her name from Brock Allen Adams to Brooke Lynn Adams. She was informed that she would later need to appear before a judge and swear this was her desire done of her own free will and that would be that. Two weeks later that's exactly what she did and from there she went directly to the DMV and got a new driver's license with her new picture and name on it. There was still that ugly 'M' under gender but, well...you know, one step...

There were still several weeks before the start of the school year and Brooke wanted to use every day to improve her appearance, mannerisms, and voice. The appearance piece turned out to be the easiest of the three. Thanks to the facial surgery and the effects of female hormones and electrolysis, she now had a very pretty, very feminine face that would now 'pass' anywhere under any amount of scrutiny. Her body was still lacking the wide hips she hoped to one day have as well as the larger, pretty breasts she so dearly wanted. But all in all, she could now easily compete with any girl she'd seen in any transformation video and overall, she was thrilled beyond belief with how well her transition had gone.

As the time teachers had to report for work drew close, Brooke was feeling very self-confident. While her appearance was now virtually flawless, her biggest gains had been in voice and mannerisms, the two areas she'd worked at relentlessly. Having found a vocal range that worked quite well for her, she was able to talk in a way that was very convincingly female and she no longer felt as though she was having to force herself to stand, sit, and act in unfamiliar ways. She thought of it as being analogous to learning a foreign language. Initially, one had to translate words and thoughts into the new language. However, given enough time, one would start thinking in the new language thus allowing oneself to speak much more smoothly and eloquently. Brooke had just hit that stage with regard to 'acting female.'

She was now ready to email her principal and inform him that Miss Brooke Adams would be replacing Mr. Brock Adams. In a brief-but-pleasant email, she outlined what she had done and why, then let him know she looked forward to a very successful school year. She also attached a recent photo of herself to 'help reduce the shock' the first time he saw her.

After hitting 'send' she wondered whether her email would be run through some lawyer who worked for the county of if it might be accepted at face value. Either was fine with her, but she knew King County, Washington, was one of the most progressive areas in America, so she had virtually no concerns about workplace discrimination. Teasing, snide remarks, and the like were a different thing, but she was more than ready for whatever came her way.

The following day, she received an equally brief, equally pleasant reply from her principal in which he addressed her by her proper gender: "Dear Miss Adams, I am very pleased to know you will be continuing to serve the students of our community. You are a very talented math teacher and a positive addition to our team. I look forward to working with you and you have my full support."

With that out of the way, she set about deciding what to wear the first day when only teachers and administrators would be there. She'd watched the way women dressed on various occasions for many years and knew that a dress was out of the question. So was a skirt or heels. Female faculty members wore jeans, capri pants, or possibly shorts if the weather hadn't yet turned chilly along with tee-shirts or simple blouses and flat shoes.

Regardless what she chose to wear, she was definitely going to style her hair, do her nails, and wear makeup—not as much as she had after her makeover, but enough to highlight her feminine features because for her, being a girl was a new and wonderful adventure and girls wore makeup. Case closed.

In the end, she chose a tapered, form-fitting, light-blue blouse and a pair of white capri pants with flat, white sandals. She wore a small silver chain around her neck and a pair of matching silver earrings along with a very delicate-looking silver watch. Enough to feel feminine but not so much she'd be out of place.

Brooke felt a huge wave of happiness and satisfaction wash over her as she looked at the pretty young woman staring back at her in the full-length mirror. Her short dark hair was sexy and cute, her lithe body very feminine, and her choice of clothes and accessories perfect for the occasion.

On her way out, she grabbed a navy-blue cardigan sweater and draped it over her arm, slung her purse over her shoulder, then picked up the materials she needed for school. It felt so right holding them against her breasts rather than along her side and she was now fully prepared to meet her former colleagues as Brooke for the first time.