Planet of the Asses

"But, sir," said the commander. "Look at the woman. She's acting as if she's in labour. We can't just leave her there."

"Oh, all right, goddamnit!" Becker growled. "Turn off the cloaking device and open the side door; but as soon as they're inside, shut the door. I don't want any of those things flying in here, if possible. We had a hell of a time killing them off the last time a swarm got in."

Suddenly, Monroe and Vova, who shuddered in surprise, saw before them the side of the mothership, a huge, grey, egg-shaped spacecraft surrounded in tall trees planted after the landing to hide it, their foliage spreading out over the top and making a kind of roof over the ship.

"We will open the door in front of you in a minute," the commander's voice said from a speaker in the ship. "Come inside as quickly as you can, as soon as the door opens, so we can shut it immediately after you get in. We want to keep the alien intelligence outside, for we expect it is all around you now, evading our sensors. Even with the psychic powers we've gained from exposure to it, it can block those powers easily, it having much more experience using those powers than we could ever have. You must be aware of its danger by now. Are you ready to come in?"

"Yes," Monroe said. "Quit gabbing and hurry! Vova here is about to have the baby."

The side door opened, and he helped her get in the ship. About two dozen asterisks followed them inside before the door could close and keep the rest outside.

"Dammit!" a woman soldier shouted as she handed Monroe and Vova some clothes. "You didn't get in fast enough! Some of those things got in!"

As my naked parents put the clothes on (a uniform for my father, and a blanket to wrap around my mother, who was then taken to sick bay), the soldier fired a light beam from a gun, but she couldn't hit any of the quickly darting asterisks, to disintegrate them. Instead, they got on her body, putting her in a trance.

A group of soldiers, three male, two female, rushed over to Monroe and the dazed woman soldier, who now looked at him with lust in her eyes. The other soldiers used the same kind of gun she had, and shot at, but also missed, the asterisks, some of which were flying at them.

Monroe and the woman soldier began undressing. Each of them had one asterisk influencing them, while the remaining asterisks overtook the five soldiers firing at them. Within two minutes they were disrobing, too.

Monroe quickly regained his self-control and buttoned up his shirt. "Get out of my head!" he shouted, then ran down the hall in the direction of sick bay, while the soldiers, now naked, were having an orgy.

Again, the influence of the asterisks is practically compelling me to describe the goings-on of the orgy, so here's what happened. Again, I must apologize.

The six soldiers were arranged in a circle: a man was fucking a woman's pussy (the woman who was about to fuck Monroe); she was licking the pussy of the second female, who was sucking the cock of the second male; he was licking the asshole and fingering the pussy of the third female, who was rubbing her tits against the back of, and fondling the ass of, the first man.

The soft, large breasts of the woman rubbing against the first man's back, as well as her fondling of his ass, were helping his hard-on, which dug into the wet depths of the woman who'd wanted Monroe; her horniness inspired her to lick the second woman's pussy all the more frantically, her tongue flickering faster and faster; this got the second woman so hot, she was moving her wet lips up and down the second man's cock faster and faster; this made him roll his tongue along the pretty brown wrinkles of the third woman's asshole all the more hungrily, and his finger slid in and out of her soaking pussy more and more energetically. They all came at about the same time, screaming in unison.

Monroe had almost reached sick bay when Captain Becker used his mind powers to freeze my father in his tracks. Don't worry about the girl, Becker mentally told Monroe; our doctors are helping her with the birth. You'll be able to see your baby soon enough. Come with me. I have important things to tell you.

They went into a room alone.

Hey, wait a minute, Becker said with his mind after feeling familiar vibes from his visitor, then getting a good look at him; you're Lieutenant Ellis Monroe, aren't you? You went into the shuttle with Commander Proctor and Lieutenant Arthur.

Yes, that's right, Monroe answered mentally, his mouth frowning instead of needing to speak.

Whose idea was it to go through that electromagnetic storm? Proctor was in command: it was his idea, wasn't it?

Yes.

I knew it! That insubordinate bastard! He's always undermining my authority!

He's one of them now, one of the ass-men.

Serves him right; he IS an ass. What about Arthur?

One of your soldiers shot and killed him in the field out there, back on the day I got that girl pregnant.

Our men must have confused Arthur with the ass-men. Your girl must be one of the 'in-between people'.

'In-between people?' Monroe wondered. I've heard that expression before, but never understood it.

I have a lot to explain to you, obviously, Becker mentally told him; I don't know which of us arrived on this planet first, but we must have gone through some kind of a time warp when going through the electromagnetic storm.

How long have you and the crew been here?

Several hundred years, Becker told him.

What? Proctor, Arthur, and I arrived here nine months ago, on the day Arthur was shot! How could you have lived so long?

Those green floating things, when they attach themselves to you, can extend your life indefinitely. They seem immortal, potentially omniscient, even godlike. They make you smarter, stronger, better-looking, and all-around healthier. They expand your consciousness, almost to omniscience, at least potentially. That's why we can talk without opening our mouths. But they can also take you over, if you're not careful.

I've seen that.

Whatever they communicated to you in their mind language, don't believe it. They were the aggressors, not us. Sure, we disintegrated everything they had on this plant: we had to-it was incompatible with our plant life. Besides, those things adapted easily to a world with plants, water, and oxygen. They enjoyed it. They're so adaptable, they're like cockroaches.

When they linked to human brains, and made you smarter, giving you all those special powers, why'd you come to dislike them? Monroe mentally asked.

Because they wouldn't let us remove some of the plant life we'd added so we could make settlements, buildings, infrastructure, and industry, to grow the kind of economy we used to have on Earth, Becker told him in his mind.

Everything Proctor was opposed to.

Ah, fuck him. Anyway, we used the mind powers we'd gotten from the little green things to force them to cooperate with us, but they rebelled. Instead of attaching themselves to all our body parts equally, to make us healthier and allow us to live even longer than they'd already extended our life expectancies, they started attaching themselves exclusively to our asses, dicks, and to the women's genitals, tempting us into enjoying non-stop sex.

That's what I was told by the ass-people.

Good God! The first time I saw a talking asshole saying 'No!' to my commands, I tell you, it was the freakiest, sickest, most disturbing thing I'd ever seen. About half of our crew had been turned into ass-people, while another quarter became in-betweens, who fled the ship and ran out into the fields where my men shot Arthur. Then the ass-people were led by Commander Milo, whom his followers began to call 'Seizer' when he took an ass-woman and fucked her in front of everybody, all the ass-people cheering them on. The ass-woman, Lieutenant Lisa Branton, would soon be named Lesa, because as she was being fucked by Seizer, she was licking the pussy of another ass-woman.

So, an orgy was going on right here in the ship? Monroe asked.

Yes. When we tried to break them up, the green things started messing with our brains. They were especially hostile to me for wanting to cut down the trees. By the end of their revolution, I was surrounded by ass-people, who had their feet raised up over my head, ready to stomp on my skull and crush it.

So, the ass-men can be violent, too?

Yes! Don't believe their hypocrisy about being 'peace-loving'. Seizer gave this rousing, but quite ridiculous speech, which began, "Where there are farts, there are smells, and in those smells my people will crouch, and squat, and plop, and plan for the inevitable day of mind's downfall..." And he rambled on and on about how we would destroy ourselves, and Seizer would lead his ass-people out of their captivity, create their own society, their own religion, etc., "...and that day is upon [us] NOW!"

"Holy shit!" Monroe said with his mouth.

Then, just when I thought I was dead for sure, Lesa's asshole farted out the word of my salvation: 'No.' Then Seizer relented, and promised to be compassionate to us 'head-people,' but insisted on changing us all into ass-people all the same.

"And many of you resisted that temptation to endless sex, as I did," Monroe said, no longer wanting to use the powers of the asterisks.

"Yes," Becker said, also now using his mouth. "But with varying levels of success. As I said, some succumbed completely, and lost their cerebral control, their heads slumped down low, like useless appendages. Others were totally successful, like you and me. A third group, that quarter of our crew I said ran out of the ship and have been living off the wild ever since, they were the 'in-between' people, like that dazed girl of yours."

"She doesn't speak English. She just mumbles nonsense syllables, but thanks to the green things, I can understand her. I call her Vova, for that's the first word I heard from her."

"Yes, she's an in-between. Her brain is partially eroded by the influence of those green things, but she hasn't made the complete transition to ass-woman. She likes to fuck a lot, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, the first thing she did when we three saw her in that nearby lake, was offer herself in a gangbang."

"Yeah. Typical of in-betweens. If you love her, Monroe, protect her. Don't let those things turn her, or you, into ass-people. Don't let your precious brain die from a sex addiction. Speaking of which, I have to find out how our crew are doing, fighting off those things. Excuse me."

Becker checked a computer monitor. Instead of seeing his crew disintegrating the asterisks, he saw his naked crew in almost every room engaging in orgies: gangbangs, 69 positions, gay sex, lesbian sex...you name it, he saw it, no matter what room he checked on the monitor, with the exception of sick bay.

Becker stopped at one room, where he saw two naked females in a 69: one was licking the pussy and asshole of the other, who repaid her licking by sliding her fingers into the first one's pussy. The fingers went in carefully, then, when the whole hand was inside, the fingers slowly clenched into a fist, getting a loud, high-pitched sigh from her lover.

Becker, dazed by the scene, began fingering his cock, then snapped out of it.

"For fuck's sake," he said. "I've gotta regain control." He switched to a view of the side entrance to the ship, which had been opened again, allowing in not only swarms and swarms of asterisks, but also a mob of ass-men and women!

"Oh, fuck me! No, wait, not that..." Becker said, then ran out of the room.

Monroe checked sick bay on the monitor again: Vova was safe on a bed, holding me, their newborn baby, and grinning at me.

"Thank God she's OK," he said. "Still, I've got to get her out of here." He ran out of the room and rushed over to sick bay. He found her bed, where a female doctor was with her. Vova was wearing a jumpsuit uniform, as he and the doctor were.

"Are you the father?" the doctor asked.

"Yes," he said. "Have you medicated her so she can move about again? Is she safe to move?"

"Well, yes," the doctor said, "but with those things on the ship, she won't be safe out there."

"She won't be safe in HERE," he said, then checked a computer monitor, clicking to screen displays of all the rooms, till he found one with Becker in it. "What's he up to?"

He saw Becker at a computer, entering commands. Monroe used the asterisks' mind powers to see up close what was on Becker's computer screen. It said, ACTIVATE ALPHA/OMEGA.

"Oh, no," Monroe gasped. "He's finally, really gonna do it."

"Do what?" the doctor asked.

"That maniac!" Monroe shouted, grabbing Vova by the arm. "He'll blow us all up! He knows all is lost on the ship, so he's activated the doomsday bomb. He'd rather we die than be slaves to an alien intelligence. That's what he and his team designed the bomb to prevent. We've gotta get to the escape shuttles and get off this planet. Now!" He led Vova, who was holding me close to her breast, to the door.

"You can't be serious," the doctor said.

"I've never been more serious. The bomb will set off a chain reaction, making the explosion grow into a larger and larger sphere, till the entire planet is destroyed!"

My family left sick bay and hurried over to the escape shuttle area, where many of the rest of the crew had run. Some of the asterisks followed all of us. My family got in a shuttle, closed the door, and my parents strapped themselves and me to seats. I was bawling...remember, the asterisks have made me able to remember all of this in vivid detail.

Dad pushed a few buttons, and the shuttle flew out of the top of the mother ship, breaking through some of the tree foliage. It flew up to the sky. A few other shuttles got out, too, following ours from far behind.

The sound of a growing explosion could be heard below. Dad checked his rear-view monitor: a swarm of asterisks were flying up behind all the escaping shuttles.

"The green things are fleeing for dear life, too," he said with a sigh.

By the time the shuttles had passed the clouds, a huge explosion pushed our ship far out into space. We saw Whoror's sun pass us by as we flew towards the still-existing electromagnetic storm-or was it a new one?

"Ah, damn you, Becker and your crew of doomsday men," Dad growled. "God damn you all to hell, you bloody bastards! Proctor was right about you, Captain Pecker. You ruined our one and only chance for survival. Now, what are my family and I going to do?"

The electromagnetic storm was coming up closer to the front window. The force of the explosion still had us hurtling towards it.

"Why not?" Dad said with a frown of resignation. "With any luck, on the other side we might reach the solar system we'd just left before finding Whoror. I can show you two our old home, Earth, the other planet we destroyed."

We entered the electromagnetic storm. My parents were screaming and shaking in their seats. I was bawling, then later on, screaming with an adult's voice. Was my sped-up aging caused by the electromagnetic storm, or by my exposure to the asterisks, swarms of which were dancing and flickering outside the front window of the ship? Was my transformation a combination of the two? I may never know. We could see a few spinning shuttles out the windows, too.

Finally, we came out the other side. After our shuttle stopped spinning, Dad checked the date on the computer: 3975. He looked over at me, a naked twenty-year-old strapped to a seat, the elastic straps of which were stretched out to their maximum. I was shaking in fear, shocked and confused as to all the memories I had of all that happened before, even before my birth. Well, if you can believe that people can think with and talk out of their asses, I suppose you can believe just about anything!

"Don't worry, son," Dad said to me. "We'll take care of you." (I knew from his thoughts, though, that he had absolutely no idea how to take care of us: he didn't want to use the advanced brain powers he'd got from exposure to the green things, for fear he'd degenerate into an eternal fuck-boy.) He looked in my eyes. "You need a name. I'll call you...Peter."

He looked back at my beautiful mom, whom I was already having cravings to fuck, though I recoiled in guilt from the thought. She was finally calming down. Then he looked back out the front window.

"Wait a minute," he said, looking out the window. "That's Saturn...and that's Jupiter we're passing by. We're going home."

We saw two greenish-blue planets ahead.

"That can't be," he said. "Not only is Earth as she was before the Corporate Wars, but...Mars, too?" He set the shuttle's course for Earth, aiming for his home state of South Dakota. "And how did we luck out and reach our solar system upon leaving the electromagnetic storm? It's as if something were guiding us here."

The shuttle reached the Earth's orbit and atmosphere, then descended into a lush forest in what had been his home over a millennium ago. The shuttle landed, and Monroe opened the door.

Mom found a jumpsuit in the shuttle and gave it to me to put on. She tried to help me put it on, but I stopped her, saying, "I can do it myself, Mom."

"OK," she said.

Dad turned back and looked at us with agape eyes, his mouth open. "You two can speak English, all of a sudden?"

"Yes," she said. "I know English again. I don't know how I got it back. My mind was in such a daze for so many years."

"Something...I don't know what...helped me understand your language," I said.

"Strange that it isn't informing ME of your sudden education," Dad said. We all stepped out of the shuttle.

We walked through the forest, Dad hoping to find a clearing and something familiar to his eyes. I could feel his anxious urge for reassurance that his world was all right.

We reached a clearing, and he saw a familiar mountain...well, familiar in a way, yet totally different now. His jaw dropped.

"What is it, Dad?" I asked, too afraid to use the asterisks to get the answer for myself.

"The Corporate Wars killed everyone here, and wiped out almost all the plant life," he said. 'Their bodies would have wasted away by now. Unless...those green things...followed us through the electromagnetic storm, along with those other shuttles of people, and the time warp meant they got here first, many, many years before us, then they...took all the energy they'd absorbed from Whoror, and spread it all over Earth, rejuvenating her greenery, but also..."

"But also WHAT?" Mom asked.

"Where are we?" I asked, "and what's that strange, obscene mountain?"

"Mount Rumphole," a voice behind us farted out.

We turned around and saw a naked, beautiful girl on all fours, with her ass pointed out at us, offering herself to us. Green asterisks were all around us. Her asshole continued vibrating, in an alien language we all understood, the following,:

"Those are the sculpted asses of four of our great presidents: Watchingbum, Shuvusin, Growsafoot, and Lingum. You are in the state of South Dikola. You should be grateful. We prevented your Corporate Wars from destroying all life on your planet eleven hundred years ago. Captain Becker and his crew left on his big ship, thinking all was lost, but they didn't need to go. Now, make love to me, not war with me."

My parents succumbed and got naked, with my dad sliding his dick in the ass-woman's anus, and my mom getting under her and licking her pussy. I watched the three of them in a daze, turned on by the sex, and tempted to join them. I unzipped my pants, hoping to put my dick in the ass-woman's mouth; but then I noticed how 'dead' her head looked, slumped down between her arms. I felt an urge to lick my Mom's pussy, then felt my guilt again.

"Mom! Dad!" I shouted, snapping out of it. "Don't let them take your minds!"