Rekha and Manish

Day-1: Rekha

I look out of the window. He is late, and it is pouring outside. The wait is unbearable, and I keep rushing out whenever there is a sound. I know, he would be bone drenched and he does not have his umbrella. I have told him so many times, but he just won't listen!

The tea has gone cold. Should I make some more but what is the point? It would go cold again. Why is he not coming?

He is so careless and so very adamant. If he had parents, they could have drilled some sense into him. He just doesn't listen to me. I should have forced him to take the umbrella. He will fall ill, and he will not even take rest. He catches infections so easily!

Usually, he is back by six but today, he isn't! And it's eight, I am worried stiff! I will go and make some more tea. Sitting idle is killing me; I keep thinking about him and all sorts of bad thoughts flood my mind.

Rain is pouring in through the kitchen window drenching my hair and the raindrops are making such a racket on the tin roof. Through the clatter, I can faintly hear someone banging the door. Oh, God! He is back! How long has he been knocking? I rush and open the door. As expected, he is completely wet and must have been standing in this downpour for ages! Thank God, he is back.

Trying not to be panicky, I ask, "So late today? Look at yourself! I told you to take the umbrella!"

He is immediately put off, I don't know why?

I bring in a towel, "Here, dry your head." And then add with concern, "you are dripping!"

He starts to dry himself morosely. He does not even bother to come in. Then, I notice the packet in his hand and that too looks wet. He hands the packet to me.

I ask, "What's it?"

He says with a bit of awkwardness, "Samosas."

He went all the way to get samosas for me, my favourite!

"You got samosas? In this rain?" Trying my best to conceal my happiness.

He keeps looking down. Excited, I snatch the packet from his hands and rush to the kitchen. The samosas are still warm. In a jiffy, I pour the tea and come back to the living room with the samosas. Keeping them on the table, I hurry back to the kitchen to close the window.

As I return, he is looking at me strangely, with the cup in his hand. Before I can react, he gets up and goes inside the bathroom.

I take a sip. What a blunder! I have given him the cold tea. How stupid of me!

I feel like killing myself.

Day 1: Manish

I was indeed late today. By the time I finished work, the clouds were threatening to pour. I knew she would be waiting for me and on this lovely evening, I did not want to go home empty-handed. I made a bit of detour to the 'mithai' shop that made the best samosas, her favourite.

As I was entering the shop, all hell broke loose. The rain came in gushes and I got stuck. Neither did I have an umbrella. I cursed myself, I should have listened to her. The rain went on and on and when it stopped, it was 7.30. There was so much waterlogging that I had to wade through the water. As I was nearing home, the rain resumed. I put the packet of samosas inside my shirt but it still would get wet. My bad luck!

Finally, I reached home and knocked but there was no answer. Maybe, she was in the kitchen. I knocked a bit louder. I could hear her rushing out. She would be so angry seeing me like this!

She opened the door and said in an accusatory tone, "So late today? Look at yourself. I told you to take the umbrella!"

I know, I know, I should have but she need not have rubbed it in.

She brought a towel and said in a bored note "Here, dry your head."

And then added with sarcasm, "You are dripping."

I knew that she wanted me to dry myself without entering the room lest it spoils the carpet. Is the carpet that important?

I suddenly remembered the samosas. I took it out and handed it over.

She inquired, arching her eyebrows, "What's it?"

I said with a bit of embarrassment, "Samosas."

Does she realise that I went all the way to get samosas, her favourite!

"You got samosas? In this rain?" She clearly looked irritated.

She snatched the packet from my hand and stormed out of the room. I felt so bad.

Soon she came back, placed the samosa and the tea and rushed back again. Maybe she didn't want to sit with me. Angry for being late.

I took a sip and the tea was lukewarm. Maybe, she had made it early and waiting for me to come.

I got up and went to the bathroom, a little upset.

Entirely my fault.

I wanted to kick myself.

Day 1: Rekha

He did not have the tea. How could he? What he must be thinking about me? Why did I have to hurry? I should have checked before pouring.

And he did not have the samosas also. Should I make some more tea? Yes, I must.

He came out of the bathroom and moved directly inside the bedroom. I waited for some time and went in. He was sitting on the bed.

Entirely due to my stupidity, he could not have his tea.

"You did not have tea. Should I make some more?" I asked in trepidation.

"No need." He snapped.

The matter was closed. I had no way to apologise. I went back to the living room.

The samosas were still on the table. He troubled himself so much to get it for me and he did not have even one, because of me.

I took one and bit a piece. Though it was cold, it was still so yummy. I took another bite.

Suddenly, he entered the room and tried to say something. I, in my eagerness, offered him my samosa and said breezily, "Here, have it. It is nice." I realised my mistake and I withdrew my hand hurriedly.

He calmly took one from the plate and started eating.

He did not talk to me and I was unable to, after what I had done.

All of a sudden, he asked, "What's for food?"

Actually, I had not cooked. I had thought that we will go out and eat something.

"I will make something," I said nervously.

He kept quiet and abruptly stood up, "Don't bother! I am not hungry."

Why won't he eat? Is he feeling unwell? I went near him and checked his forehead. It appeared a little warm.

"Then you take rest. I will get you some hot milk." I suggested.

He kept sitting for some time and then lay down in the bed and pulled the blanket. He must be feeling cold due to fever.

Why did he have to go for the samosas? Now, he is feverish. To top it all, I committed such a slip-up.

I prepared a glass of hot chocolate and took it to him. He doesn't like milk. He made a face but drank it all the same. He slept off again. He needed rest, so I went to the kitchen and finished the work.

As I entered the bedroom, he was sleeping facing the wall. I slept beside him. He was probably awoken and said, "Take the blanket."

He needed the blanket more than me. I said, "The blanket is small, I will use my shawl."

He didn't say anything. All at once he got up, took the blanket and the pillow and said rudely, "I will sleep on the couch."

Why was he punishing me like that? What did I do? I did make a mistake but I was really sorry about that. Really sorry!

I felt like crying. I wanted to say sorry to him but why would he listen?

He wasn't well either.

Day 1: Manish

I was hungry, and she was annoyed. Not knowing what to do, I went inside our bedroom and changed my dress.

She came in and said reproachfully, "You did not have tea. Should I make some more?"

The tea was a bit lukewarm but it was okay. Why was she asking for making it fresh?

"No need," I answered, confused.

Apparently, she wanted to say something more, but after a few moments, bit her lip and returned to the living room.

I sit foolishly. I should have said sorry. I went to the living room. She was eating the samosa. and I tried to apologise. She brushed it aside and offered her half-eaten samosa and said, "Here, have it. It is nice." And then, withdrew her hand hurriedly.

Afraid to annoy her further, I took one from the plate and started eating it.

She did not speak to me. The silence was agonising. To start a conversation, I asked, "What's for food?"

She considered my question and replied pithily, "I will make something."

I immediately felt bad, we were planning to eat out today. I should have remembered that!

To correct my folly, I immediately answered, "Don't bother! I am not hungry."

She looked at me with surprise and checked my forehead. Realising that there was nothing wrong, she said pointedly, "Then you take rest. I will get you some hot milk."

I kept sitting for some more time trying to find a way out. Not finding any, I went to the bedroom and lay down. I pulled a blanket. After confirming that I was in bed, she went out.

In some time, she brought in a glass of hot chocolate. I was happy because I was hungry. I drank the milk in one go. It tasted beautiful. She just took the glass from me and went out.

I lay looking towards the wall but I wasn't sleepy. She came in and silently lay down beside me. It was chilly, so I said, "Take the blanket."

She said in a cold voice, "The blanket is small, I will use my shawl."

She did not to even want to share the blanket with me. What have I done? I always listen to her. Today, I just made a mistake.

If she does not want to sleep with me, so be it. I got up, took the blanket and the pillow and said guiltily, "I will sleep on the couch."

She did not stop me.

Why was she punishing me like that? I did make a mistake, but I was really sorry about that. Really sorry!

My heart was breaking. I wanted to say sorry, but why would she listen to me?

----

Day-5: Manish

Except for some absolutely indispensable words, she is aloof for the last five days. Answers are in monosyllables and she is working like a machine. There is not an iota of neglect but I know she is not able to stand me anymore. Only duties and responsibilities. That's all.

I am also not talking to her. For the first two days, I had tried but could not penetrate the coldness. Today, I will make it up, positively. After all, someone must take the initiative. I will do it.

We are married for 6 months now. Our common friends had done all the groundwork because no one else was there. It was a simple affair, too simple. Every girl wants her marriage to be memorable. Maybe, I should have made it a little fancier, but she had never made an issue out of it. Since then, we are living our lives, just the two of us, with each other.

After our marriage, only once she had gone to meet her aunt, but she came back the day after. I was surprised but happy and had asked about her early return. She had said that she was not comfortable there. Did her aunt say something to her? Did she hurt her someway? Though I had seen her only for a day, she had appeared to be a nice woman! But who knows; times change, attitudes change.

Today, I got late leaving for the office. I wanted to talk to her, but she kept looking out of the window. I forgot to bring my tiffin. It was there on the table but in my hurry, it slipped my mind. By the time, I realised, the bus had arrived and there was no way to go back. Her tiffin was a high point for me and many others too. During the lunch, the peon called me to the front gate. She was standing outside with my tiffin, exasperation written all over her face. Why did she come all the way? Just to ensure that the food is not wasted and to show how irresponsible I was.

But I felt nice, she looked beautiful. The peon told me that she had been waiting for long. He should have informed me earlier.

I was angry with the peon.

I reached the gate, embarrassed, and said, "You need not have come, I would have eaten in the canteen."

Her face darkened in anger. She looked at me with red angry eyes and said in a muffled voice, "I am going to my aunt's place."

That was all. She handed me the tiffin box over the gate.

Then she said, "The dinner will be in the fridge."

She looked down, paused a little and said, "Eat if you feel like. Otherwise, throw it away."

I stood there like a fool.

She turned her back and left. I kept standing.

Then, as if on an impulse, she came back and said, "I will keep the key under the mat."

When I reach home today, she would be gone.

Day 5: Rekha

He is not talking to me. I could have asked him, but he does not like to speak me anymore. He must be repenting marrying me. I make mistakes because I have no one to teach me anything. I am trying but I am no good.

I thought he will say something today, but he did not. I felt like crying but why should I show him my tears. I looked outside and he simply left. He was in a tearing hurry.

His friends and my aunt were there for the marriage. It was a simple ceremony and I knew he could not afford anything expensive, but it was so meaningful, so serene. Once I went to my aunt's place, she loved me so much. She only has spoiled me. But I could not stay for more than a day, I missed him. He was surprised that I returned so early and had asked. I told him that I was not comfortable there.

Today, he has forgotten to take the tiffin. By the time I realised, he was gone, I ran to the bus stand, but he was not there either. Today, I had made his favourite dish 'peas kachauri.' There is a good canteen in his office, still, I wanted to make him a bit happy.

I think I will go to the office and give him the box and apologise. I am sure he will forgive me.

I reach his office, but the peon will not allow me to enter before the lunchtime, so I keep standing there. After one hour, people start to come out. I request the peon to inform him about me, but he is reluctant. After a lot of requests, he agrees.

Soon, he comes out and I find him annoyed. I have embarrassed him by coming to the office.

His first words are, "You need not have come, I would have eaten in the canteen."

He could have said something nicer. I have become a non-entity in his life. I felt like crying. He will feel better if I went away from his life altogether. Suppressing my tears I say, "I am going to my aunt's place."

There is no response from him, not even a concern. I hand him the tiffin box over the gate.

When I leave, what will he eat? He will not even look for food if not told, he is so careless. So, I tell him, "The dinner will be in the fridge."

Then, I realise that he may not want to eat anything that I make. So, I say, "Eat if you feel like; otherwise, throw it away."

Unable to bear any more, I turn and leave.

He would not like to see my face anymore. I must leave before he comes back. But I must tell him something.

I go back. He is still standing there, "I will keep the key under the mat."

This is better. Hope, he will be happy.

----

Day 15: Manish

It has been 10 days now that she has gone. Everything has come to a standstill. I do not want to go to the office anymore but what would I do at home? She is not there.

Her things are all kept, nicely arranged. She will come back.

The evenings are worse. It pains me to enter the house. It often seems that she would just come out of the kitchen and say with a smile, "Today there is 'peas kachauri,' have it quickly before it gets cold." She would pester me to wash and eat. She would sit and force me to eat till I am bursting.

But she does not, anymore.

The last six months were the happiest for me. For the first time in my life, I was eager to go back home after office. My friends at first used to laugh and then they were unhappy.

Why cannot she understand that I had no one to tell me what is right and what is not?

She kept so much food in the fridge. I know she will not come back anymore. Why would she?

Sometimes, I feel she will just be there at the door, smiling. The next moment I am without hope.

I think I will go to her aunt's place and ask her to come back. But will I make her angry again? What if she refuses? How would I know?

I am such a novice. It suits me right.

Oh yes, there is a dog who comes daily for food. She was very fond of him but I was not. Nowadays, I give him something to eat otherwise she will feel bad.

I am really in a mess. Even my friends are noticing it. Today, they again made fun of me. For them, I have become smitten with love.

Yes, I am. So, what?

But she is not. Because of me.

I still remember the first time I saw into her eyes; my heart had gone topsy-turvy. She was so beautiful.

Today, I got some food from the canteen, but I do not feel like having it.

If only she was there! I know that is impossible.

It is 12. I am tired but I do not want to sleep.

What?? Is there someone at the door!

At this time? It could not be her. It is only the rustling of leaves. I am imagining things.

No, there is a knock! Yes! Yes!

Wait, wait! I am coming, I am coming!

Day 15: Rekha

It is 10 days now and he has not bothered to find out whether I am dead or alive. And, why should he? What am I to him?

When I came here, my aunt was so happy. The first thing she said was that I would run away after one day. There was a twinkle in her eyes. But I am still here. She looks after me a lot but does not ask any questions. As far she is concerned, he is the best man she has ever seen.

She is right. I am the one who needs lessons. He could have scolded me but he will not. Because he knows that I will never improve. I will always make mistakes.

I was so reluctant when my aunt wanted me to marry. But she had said that he was a very good man. I was so nervous and on the first night, I was shaking with fear. But he made me sit and talked to me for the whole night and slowly I felt that he was my best friend. I had lost all my inhibitions and in one night I felt that I knew him since eternity. He is such a good listener.

But he has a great fault. He is so careless about himself.

I am waiting for him to come and take me back. I am forever looking towards the end of the road where it bends towards our house. I will be careful once he takes me back. But the road is forever empty.

People talk about love. I do not know what it means. Without him, everything seems empty, nothing seems worthwhile; nothing is bearable. Is this love? My mind is not in my control. I spent my entire life without him. I am not able to bear 10 days.

Aunt is suspecting something. She was caressing my head yesterday and had suddenly said, "Rekha, you go home." Why?

I do not know whether he eats anything at all or not. He must not be. He has no priority for himself. I have to force him to eat.

I look in the mirror. I look horrible.

I must go back. As soon as possible. Today?

But it is already evening.

It doesn't matter.

I stand in front of my aunt, looking down. How will I tell her?

She looks at me and says, "The last bus leaves in 30 minutes, Go."

I will leave; now. What about my bag? I cannot miss this bus.

It is so late. He will be very unhappy seeing me coming back. A bad penny.

There is no rickshaw at the bus stand and it is almost midnight. I will walk.

The door is shut but there is light inside. Is he at home?

And the dog is sitting out, eating. Who gives him food here?

I knock.

The door opens at once.

He is standing there breathing hard. He looks tired. His eyes are red.

Day 15: Manish

She looks so tired; her hair is dishevelled. She looks beautiful.

She has no bag with her.

I make her sleep on the bed and I take the couch. I want to touch her, hug her but she might not like it.

She is back. That is enough. I do not want anything else.

Is she sleeping? Must be. It looks as if she has not slept for ages.

My eyes are laden. I too am tired. She is just a few feet away from me.

I want to hold her.

Without her, everything is a void.

Oh! Who is that?

Rekha, It's you!!

Day 15: Rekha

He is sleeping on the couch.

I am alone again. I cannot bear it.

Why should I be away from him?

I am going to him. Let him be angry!