The Food Desert

"Oh, I don't know. I'd hate to think of it sitting empty most of the time. If I had some adult children who would enjoy it, it might sway my opinion. Maybe I could talk close friends and family into helping me."

They just grinned and talked about all the fun the family could have when I bought it.

*****

I thought about it for two days before I called Kara back to tell her my decision. I was surprised to hear her sound like she was crying when she answered the phone.

"Are you all right?"

She controlled her sniffles to answer me. "Short answer? No. I've had things come up that are very painful to deal with, but I'll get through it."

"I'm sorry, Kara. If there's anything I can do let me know. I'll leave you alone now. What I wanted doesn't sound that important right now."

"You're right. I'm not exactly in worker mode right now. That being said, if it's about the cabin, just email me a letter stating intent, and I'll take it off the market for three weeks."

I wondered for brief moment if yet another marriage had cratered, then felt a little guilty. If it had been something like that I'm sure the tone would have been difference. I recognized the agony. It seemed a lot like what I felt when Sandy was killed.

"I'll do that Kara, but don't worry about it. Handle your own situation and ignore everything else. I was serious when I said if there was anything I could do to tell me."

"That means a lot to me, Steve. Thank you. I'll call you in a week or two. Is that all right?"

I assured her that any time was fine, held my phone and stared into space after she hung up.

Two weeks later she called and asked me to come by her office. It felt funny riding the streets of my old town, a smaller village twenty miles from my old Farmers' Market haunts. I wondered why she hadn't relocated to one of her other offices in the bigger cities; she'd always loved urban life.

She was thinner than I remembered and seemed tired, the lines around her eyes far more pronounced than I remembered. Even her smile was sad.

Once we got into her office she was all business. "I took the owners your offer. They immediately rejected it, then two days later they called and said they would meet you in the middle. Is that acceptable?"

Of course it was. I'd deliberately low-balled them expecting to negotiate. Their counter offer amounted to seventy-five thousand less, making it a really good deal. I told them I was agreeable and then Kara asked about financing, shocked when I told her I'd be paying cash. It came out of her before she thought. "You have that much money lying around?"

"Of course I don't. That kind of capital needs to be working and it is. All I have to do is move things around and you'll have a check in three weeks."

"Well good for you. How many stores do you have now?"

"Sixteen and we'll be adding four more before the middle of next year. That will make twenty, and I'll probably be done." I didn't tell her that was on top of four stores I was picking up from a competitor who used my business model. He acquired the stores quickly enough, but he didn't follow my practice of hiring local from part-time to top management if he could find the people. That and his prices were, on average, 15% higher than his competitors. He had a fifth store, but it was burned by arsonists. I picked the stores up for almost half price and sent Mickey and Ashley in to refurbish, hire or rehire good people, and get them operational in four months. I had no doubt they would work their butts off to make them a success, and when they were I was going to give them to them as a late wedding present. I had the company name changed to Family Foods, and had a logo created that featured Ashley and Mickey, surrounded by smaller faces of other family members.

We did the paperwork in almost silence, just a matter of sign here, sign here, sign here, and I gave her a check for 25% with a guarantee she would have the rest in no later than 21 days.

"I'm gald you got it," she said as she gathered everything into folders. "To be honest, you look like you could use a few days of downtime."

"I haven't quite gotten over Sandy. It will be a long time, probably never, before I get over her. Maybe this new place, apart from any memories of her, will help."

She patted my hand, tears in her eyes. "I meant it when I said I was sorry. No one should lose someone they love in such a horrible fashion. Your family tells me she was quite a woman. She would have had to be, to keep up with you."

"Kara, I'm the same person I was all those years ago."

She grabbed my hand and looked intently into my eyes. "No, you're not! You're a better man now than you ever were before. You could have seized your opportunities and ran with them, keeping everything for yourself. But you shared, giving people most of society would have written off a chance and they worked hard to prove themselves. Grandma Greely once told me they all worked so hard because they didn't want to disappoint you. Even now, you're still giving, in mentorship programs, sports teams, educational opportunities, anything anyone can think of to better the communities you do business in is open to consideration.

"Don't give up hope, Stevie. You deserve to find love again; you're too good a man to waste. There, I got it off my chest."

I tried to remember the last time someone called me 'Stevie'. It was her, twenty years ago. It made me smile.

"I hope you're right, Kara. Well, thanks for everything. Maybe the place will cheer me up. And the offer stands, anytime you and your husband want to use it, give me a call."

She stood with me, a look of great sadness on her face. "Steve, can I ask you to do something for me? It won't take long. A five minute drive, maybe a half an hour of conversation, that's all I ask. It's important to me. It's important because I want you to see the woman I am now."

There was a look of desperation on her face so I agreed. A small smile touched her lips. "Thank you. You can follow me in your car and leave straight from where we're going."

We ended up in an upscale neighborhood. The houses were nice, not quite the McMansions of many, but very solidly upper middle-class. She got out at a rock and cedar ranch that was carefully landscaped.

"My home. Come along, I need to introduce you to someone."

We walked through the door and down a short hall. She knocked, waited a second, then entered, asking me to wait. Tears were flowing when she came out, and she mutely indicated I should enter.

It was not what I was expecting. There was a hospital bed, and an emaciated man lay in it, an oxygen tank close by. The bed was raised to a sitting position and he pulled the mask off as he motioned me over.

I took his outstretched hand, afraid to put too much pressure on it. "Hi. I'm Bob, Kara's husband. I've been waiting a long time to meet you."

*****

The situation was surreal. I was in my ex-wife's house, talking to her obviously dying husband. We talked for almost two hours.

He told me of his romance with Kara, how after they got closer the brutally honest way in which she had portrayed herself as she spoke of her other marriages. "It took me a long time to come to terms with what she had told me. I was very worried I was setting myself up for heartbreak. I had a good business my father had started and I'd advanced, but she insisted on a prenuptial agreement stating that she was not to receive any profits or be entitled to any part of my business or money I had accrued.

"We got closer and I looked into my heart one day and decided she was the one I wanted and I was willing to take a chance on her. In eight years, she's never let me down. Not once. The only regret I have over marrying her is that I won't be around to love her as long as I wanted."

He stopped to put the mask back on for a few moments before continuing. "I asked her one day after we had been married for a year what attracted her to me. She looked sad for a moment, then told me that it was because I reminded her of you.

She had told him, 'He was a good man, married to the wrong woman. I was too young and easily swayed to realize what I had. Over the years as I made one wrong choice after another when it came to husbands, I promised God if I ever found another like him I'd love him heart and soul until death separated us. God must have felt pity on me, because he gave me you. I thank Him every day for the gift.' I can still hear her words."

He sighed. "I bet she didn't know the gift had an early expiration date. My three packs a day habit finally did me in. My lungs are gone, my heart is weak, and I'm slowly going blind. That really isn't a problem. I'll be gone before that happens. I've got, at best, a few months, at worst, a few days."

"I bet you wonder why you're here. I made her promise if you ever got on speaking terms again to bring you around. I wanted to see firsthand what her first love was like. So far you've lived up to the billing. You don't know me but I want to ask a favor. When I go, be there for her. I have no family except for a few distant cousins, and her parents are long gone. She'll be alone when I go and she'll need help until she finds her feet again."

He showed me pictures from when they first got together. He was a fine looking man, full of life with a constant smile. It was hard to compare the picture to the wasted frame before me. Kara seemed genuinely happy. He talked about regretting them never having children, saying a child would have given her something to focus on. He rambled and I think he was just glad to have someone to talk to. He looked at the clock and realized the time, apologizing for taking so much of mine.

He had to keep the mask on for a while and we sat in silence. When he regained his breath, he thanked me for coming by. He held his hand out and I shook it again. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Steve Moore. Think about my requests. I have no right to ask, but it would give a dying man comfort to think he's made the one he left behind feel a little less pain."

"It was my pleasure, Bob Blankenship. You seem to be a good man and I'm glad she got to experience happiness with you. I'll see what I can do when the time comes."

He had a smile on his lips when I left.

.......................................................................

A month later I got a call in the middle of the night. The first thing I thought was it was probably Kara, telling me Bob was gone. I hadn't visited again, but we did talk on the phone a few times.

It was about a death, but it wasn't Bob. Grandma Greely had finally succumbed to illness and a worn-out body. She went quietly in her sleep, smiling.

I went home immediately, calling Mickey and Ashley on the way. When I got there, it was hard to find a place to park. I ended up parking at a church a block away. Alice and Amy met me at the door, melting into my arms and crying like the little girls she had raised. Miguel, his wife, and Michael's wife had him wrapped up and I saw his shoulder vibrating. Grandma Vasquez was there, sitting quietly in Celia's bedroom beside the body of her best friend for forty years, tears leaking down.

I walked in and sat beside her, taking her hand. I looked at Celia, amazed at how peaceful she looked.

"The authorities have been notified and the funeral home is on the way. She's already prepaid everything and has named you executor of her will. Celia was always proud to be able to take care of herself and never wanted to be a bother to anyone."

Tina broke down then, huge sobs that subsided to soft sniffles as the minutes passed. She pushed away from my chest with a determined face. "I will be strong, because that was what she would want. But at night or when I'm alone, the tears will come again as I think of the woman I loved like a sister for forty years. She'll understand. Now, let's go hold the family. I'm sure they will need us."

They did. Everyone broke down again when she was rolled out of the house and into the hearse. The cops, one with tears in her eyes, made the report. They hugged almost everyone there when they left.

We had a private service at the Baptist Church where she had been a member for forty years. The public funeral was at the municipal auditorium and even with the extra room there wasn't an empty seat and the aisles were packed. The procession to the graveside service was almost two miles long. Jose, Dan, Michael, Miguel, Mickey and I were her pallbearers

I was surprised that while the memorial was going on someone slid into a suddenly vacant spot beside me and gripped my hand. I didn't even look up for a few seconds and when I did I was shocked. Kara was sitting beside me, weeping softly into my shoulder. There was a vacant seat beside me at the gravesite and she sat with me, gripping my hand. It was a sunny, bright early June day and I had my sunglasses on. Didn't stop the tears from leaking out from behind them. She sobbed softly as the eulogy was presented and the casket lowered.

Celia's favorite flowers were white roses, so the family stepped up one by one and dropped a single white rose into the grave until it was all that could be seen. Ashley, Amy and Alice were arm in arm, probably the only thing that kept them standing. Mickey, Miguel and Michael stood behind them, shoulder to shoulder, trying to maintain their calm. It wasn't working. The choir from her church had come along to sing her one last song. The words of "I'll Fly Away" echoed through the trees as we turned and stumbled back to our vehicles.

Kara appeared at my side again; gently taking my keys and helping Mickey get Ashley into the car. We drove back to Celia's home in silence, each of us lost in remembrance of the woman who had become a focal point of our lives.

Her friends and family wandered through the house, looking at the myriad of pictures on the walls, each marking a significant event in the lives of the person pictured. I was surprised to see one of me and Alice as we worked the stand from the very early days, when I first got started. She looked like the child she was, and I wondered if I always looked as earnest as I did in that photo. Grandmas Celia and Vasquez were in the background, happy and smiling, surrounded by friends.

My eyes blurred once again as Alice gently pulled it from the wall. "This was her favorite picture of you. She liked it because it was before you got rich, doing what you loved and helping people no one else would. She insisted you have it when she was gone, something to look at when you wanted to remember her."

There was another of Sandy holding my arm, looking up at me. The expression on her face said "love," pure and simple. I knew that I'd be getting that one, too. I looked around for Kara to share it with her and was disappointed she had gone without saying goodbye.

*****

I wasn't surprised to find I was named executor of her will, but I was surprised at her worth. Grandma Celia had learned to be very canny with money. The estate was worth a little over four million, pretty good for a woman who started her new career at sixty. Michael, Alice and Amy each got a million and joint ownership of her share of the bakery business. The rest of the money, a little over an million and a half, went to me. Well, not me, but the foundation I had created. It was to be used as I saw fit. Deep down, she knew what the money would be used for because she sat on the board. There were personal things she gifted to people who mattered in her life. Officer Dan got her car, a two year old Caddy with nine-thousand miles on it. Officer Jose got her house with the wish that he use it to raise his grandchildren in. His daughter had been killed in a mindless accident, her husband long gone, and suddenly Jose and his wife were the guardians of three girls ranging from four to nine. They could use the room. Tina got all her jewelry and I was surprised to see she owned that much bling.

We all got long letters, her last goodbye to us, and if the others were like mine I'm sure there were blurry eyes spread across three states. She told me she had always thought of me as more a son than a grandson, thanked me for saving Michael from a life of crime or death, and thanking me for the interest I'd taken in Alice and Amy. She told me it was no surprise when both girls had asked me to walk them down the aisle because I was the closest thing to a father they would ever have.

She closed by thanking me for falling into her life and urging me to find someone with whom to share mine. "I've never met a man with so much love in his soul as you have. You're still young. There's someone out there for you. She'll have to find you because you won't go looking, but when she shows up, love her with all that you are. If she's young enough to bear children, I've always thought Celia had a good ring to it. That way I could live on for many years. Visit me every once in a while. I'll know."

A week later I called Kara and thanked her for coming to the funeral. I could feel her smile over the phone. "I liked the old girl. She had a pretty good head on her shoulders. I bet she didn't tell you I talked to her about every other day and visited as often as I could. I'm sorry I left so abruptly, but Bob had suddenly taken a turn for the worst and I had to get home."

"How is Bob? Any better?"

There was a slight catch in her voice. "Oh, honey, he'll never get better. The doctors say it's down to a matter of weeks, if not days. I've turned the business over to the office managers and meet with them via video every Friday. I'm determined to spend every moment he has left by his side. You should call him."

I did call him and it turned into an every-three-day thing. I went to see them the next month and was shocked at his condition. He was beyond skeletal, his skin had a yellow cast, and he coughed almost constantly into a towel that had a pink tinge. We talked, as well as he could, and when I left Kara walked me out. I could see the strain in her face. Without thinking, I reached up and brushed her cheek.

"How are you holding up?"

All I got for an answer was two arms full of a woman bent on crying her heart out. I must have cuddled her for ninety minutes on her sofa as her muffled wails turned to soft sobs and then quiet snuffling. She finally pushed out of my arms, a small smile on her face.

"Thank you, Stevie. You were always the best cuddler I know. I know he is going to die soon. By now, he would probably welcome it. He's been by my side for almost nine years. We rarely fought and had very few squabbles. I keep telling you he's a lot like you; he has the same quiet inner strength you do. I was just too much of a child when we were together to recognize it and know its value back then. With Bob, I knew. He was my rock for all these years, my safe harbor when my life got stormy. I don't know how I'm going to carry on without him."

"Kara, I know you don't believe this, but you can. I went through the same thing with Sandy, except I didn't have a chance to know it was coming and prepare. It's been almost three years, but I still grieve. She was the center of my life and then she was just... gone. When he's close, call me. I'll come as soon as I hang up. You don't have to go through this alone."

We talked for a few more minutes. I went back to say goodbye again, but Bob was asleep. I still reached out and squeezed his hand and was almost certain he squeezed back. It was the last time I saw him alive.

Two days later I got the call. "Stevie, Stevie, he's, he's..."

"I'm on my way."

The drive should have taken two-and-a half-hours. I made it in an hour and fifty-nine minutes. I rang the bell and a woman I found out later was a Hospice worker answered the door. I didn't give her a chance to ask questions and walked right by her. I went straight to his bedroom.