The Journey Home

A short story of a woman's thoughts on her journey home to her family after seeing her lover.

It was nearly time to get into mum mode again. This weekend seems to have flown by, these little breaks always go far too quickly but I need them.

Two hours on the train and I would be home with my family, I would not trade them for the world but I need these few days every now and again.

I am the only passenger in my carriage so I kick off my shoes and stretch out on my seat for a well-earned rest, I need the sleep. I feel myself drift off thinking I hope Graham will be on time at the station with my girls to pick me up, I am so looking forward to seeing them all.

Graham is my rock, I love him greatly but I need these breaks and he loves me enough to let me have them. He gets his perks out of the arrangement too but I think I get the better deal. When we first got together we both knew that he would never be enough for me, I adore the man with all of my soul but in the bedroom he cannot keep up.

He knew that before we were married because when he asked me to go steady I told him that I had him and two other lovers that I would not let go easily. He did not like it but I was straight up with him, I would not and will not lie to him. He is free to indulge with anyone as long as he tells me upfront and is tested, he doesn't but that is by his choice.

I need sex I have since I was a girl and found out the pleasures it brings. It is a way for me to blow off steam and to get mojo back even if it is only a couple of days of sexual bliss. As I said I adore my husband but he cannot give me the excitement that I crave. Excepting the third Thursday of each month when he gets his bit of fun from the deal.

My best friend from childhood Caroline is the meat in our sandwich. She and I experimented when we were kids and have stayed close ever since. It was her that probably set me on the path my life has taken, I love her almost as much as Graham.

He loves to watch as we touch and taste each other until he can take no more and dives in. I let him do whatever he wants to me and her sexually. Caroline is up for anything too as she is as much a nymphomaniac as I am. Sometimes he is a bit rough as he takes me anally but I think it is his way of punishing me for my indiscretions, I take it willingly.

He knows I go further with my meetings away than I do with him but that is the way my brain is wired, sometimes I need 2-3 men at a time. Every man is known to me and tested regularly as am I.

I am so tired and fall in and out of sleep as I travel back home. Every time I say to myself next month will be different but as the month goes on, the more anxious I get.

I yawn as we pull into our next station looking out to see if anyone will get into my carriage, no-one does and I drift back to sleep again.

Graham knows I will return every time to him and my girls. For 28 days of the month I am a devoted wife and mum. I do the school runs, the housework and walk the dog. I cook, clean doing all the things a devoted wife is "supposed" to do but for two days a month I am a whore.

It will get harder as my daughters grow up I know that. The questions will start as they get inquisitive about me going away, I will deal with that as and when they get older.

I sometimes wonder if my traits will be passed on to them because a few years ago I found that my own mother had urges like me. I came across a diary of hers when I went through some things in my dad's attic. I was curious so I sat and read it. To say I was shocked was an understatement, she had at one time 5 different lovers on the go at the same time!

She wrote mostly of her undying love of my father but needed this the same way I do. My mum and dad were devoted to each other and had the best relationship of anyone I had known growing up. I cried as I read it, we had so much more in common that I had known.

We used to fight over such silly things but I loved her and I miss her so much. If I had only known about her I could've had a better transition to womanhood if we had talked about our feelings and urges. It is something I will learn from for my girls future.

She died a few years previous to this so my dad moved in with us for a month or two, this really cramped my style but if he hadn't I wouldn't have found the diary. I did not confront him about it but it was obvious he knew of it because it was with his most prized possessions. The more I read the more I realised that they had more or less the same lifestyle as me and Graham. I dropped hints about it but he never said anything. I drift into slumberland again thinking of the love my dad had for my mum. My dreams are of me as a child walking on the beach holding their hands.

My thoughts drift to Graham as I awake with a start at the next station, I have tried my hardest to get Graham to open up with his sexuality and take me like I need to be taken but he is just not built that way. We have come to this understanding over the years like my mum and dad did to have the life we have now.

It might sound stupid but I love this man so much, he gives me what I need without regret of any kind as far as I know. I would give up my weekends away for him but we both know it would tear me apart and probably our marriage. I know I am so selfish to have my cake and eat it but to me sex and love are separate things. I think I have a man's brain because I have been told by many, many men that they feel like this too.

Graham knows I need this and is willing to give me my needs as long as I need them. I know it is hard to understand if you are not in the situation we are in but like I said before, this man is my rock he is my stability, my husband. I could not love him more if I tried, you will say if I loved him I would not fuck around on him but we have truth and complete and utter honesty which is far more than most have.

I am home, I can see our car in the carpark as we pull into my hometown station. I can see my girls on the platform with Graham. He has a bouquet of red and yellow roses in his hand, I wipe the tears from my eyes and wave to them as my carriage slowly passes them. My girls run to the doors as they open and jump in to hug me. Graham kisses me saying welcome home, he loves me despite my urges and faults. He knows I come home to the family I love, he knows I am his forever and always will be.

The End.