Trip To Self

"Yeah, I guess."

"I know the feeling. I had the chance to marry the greatest woman ever, but I wanted to run around the world, ended up marrying the wrong one, and then it all went to shit."

She was stunned by his outburst. It was the most he had ever revealed about himself in any one sentence, and she could not believe that he was trying to help her with anecdotes from his life. "She…was not the love of your life."

"Far from it. A woman named Mary Sullivan was. Mary was perfect in every way. And she wanted to marry me. But I said no, said I had to explore the world, join the army, be all that I can be. So she married Norman Stadler. Good guy. Probably the perfect guy for her. They have four kids now, a big house, two nice cars, and a boat. Dora was a fellow soldier, stuck in the shit hole that was Ft Bragg, dancing on the side down at the Pet Shop. I beat the hell out of some guy that grabbed her one night, and that was the beginning of our relationship. Which consisted of a lot of fighting, a lot of sex in all kinds of places, and other things I don't even want to remember. Until it all ended."

She nodded, watching him pace back and forth. Stepping back over to the mini-bar, he pulled out three of the mini-bottles of Jack, holding them in one hand, cracking all the tops at once. With one smooth motion he downed them, reaching for three more.

"NO…"

But he was faster than that, evading her hand, and slamming three more. It took a second for the alcohol to hit his system, working its way through his stomach and into the blood stream. But when it hit, she could see it in his eyes, his body slowly crawling backwards on the bed. "You don't want to be with me, honey. You don't want this."

"Yes, yes I do."

"Sweetie, there is a man that loves you waiting for you."

"I don't love him."

But he did not hear that. He was snoring loudly, sprawled on top of the sheets. Shaking her head, she undressed, sliding into her bed. What a strange, strange man.

The next morning, she awoke to find him gone again. Stretching, she lay in bed, thinking about what had happened the night before, until she heard the door clicking, and his sweat covered form appeared in the hallway.

"You ok?" Rolling over, she looked at him as he pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge.

"Yeah. Sorry about yesterday."

"Don't be. You got spots you want to hit today?"

"Yeah."

They walked through the city the way they had hit every other city, talking and laughing, taking pictures of everything, enjoying the local food and microbrews, talking to the locals, enjoying themselves. But they could both tell that something had changed the night before, and finally they admitted to it, holding hands as they walked down the river walk.

"I won't push it anymore." She smiled at him, squeezing his hand, and he nodded.

"When is the wedding?"

"Didn't set a date yet. Apparently he has everything set up, I just need to show up."

"Am I invited?"

"Maybe that's what I'll do. Buy a dress, and show up on your Harley, cruising up to the church. Martin would love that."

"Martin the Mr. Alexis to be?"

"Yeah." She looked away, and pulled him into a bathing suit store. "Come on, let's look at some stuff."

He did not ask anymore about her future marriage plans, instead helping her pick out a new bikini. She did not model it for him, which he was secretly thankful for, but also disappointed in. She was back to her relaxed happy self, and he was glad for it.

"By the way…I'm from Pennsylvania."

"Why are you telling me that?"

"I know Fort Bragg is in North Carolina, so I figured it was only fair."

"I'm not from Carolina."

"Still."

"Ok. I'm from Florida."

The sun was shining down bright and brilliant, the way it only does in Florida, the ocean to their right, the asphalt blistering with heat, her hair playing in the wind as she leaned back on the hog, feeling her skin heat up.

They had worked out a series of signals over time, not wanting to yell into the wind, and so she tapped his shoulder twice, a bit harder then she thought necessary, and he pulled over at the rest stop coming up, coming to a stop two spots down from the orange colored building that served as the focal point.

"What's wrong?"

"I have to make a call real quick. I was supposed to call yesterday, but I forgot."

"Don't take all day." He shook his head as she stuck her tongue out at him, and dashed into the building.

Climbing off the bike himself, he stretched, pulling a rag out of one of the saddlebags, and wiping the bugs off the front fender, lights, and along the tank. He had swallowed at least one today, but he considered that an occupational hazard. Walking over to the soda machines, he bought two bottles of Gatorade, and took a seat in the shade, watching the cars pull into the parking lot.

Pulling her phone card out of her wallet, she dialed the number by memory, looking at the card just for confirmation. The phone number was a permanent part of her memory as well, so she dialed it without problem, listening to the rings in her ear, and counting. She got to four before somebody answered.

"Hello?" But it was not the voice she had expected. This was a female voice.

"Hello?" Her own voice startled her, but her mind was seemingly in automatic.

"Hello?" The female voice again, then a voice in the background, and the phone seemed to be changing hands. Finally his voice pulled through. "Hello?"

"Who's that?"

"That was Sarah. You ok, you didn't call yesterday?"

"What is she doing over there?"

"Well, you aren't here." There was a calmness to him that put the writing on the wall. She swallowed for a second, steadying herself, then asked the obvious question.

"What's going on?"

There was a pause, and she could hear him walking around. There was a scraping noise, and then she knew he was on his porch. Hearing the nature sounds all of a sudden will do that. "Alexis, I really want to marry you. But you are not here. Where are you, baby? Why are you running away?"

"I just need some time…"

"I want to marry you, are you hearing me? That is not something you put off forever." The calmness was gone, replaced by what she knew to be anger. "Damn it, how long do I have to wait? You kept me waiting forever in college to date you, running around with all these other guys. You kept me waiting forever to give it up, damn near cheating on me all over the place, and yet I stayed. And now somebody else enters the show. A woman…"

"Why are you in such a hurry?" Her voice almost cracked, but she managed to control it.

"I want to move on in life. Are you part of the show, or not? Do you love me, or not?" Still the anger in his voice, still the emotion that was so rare in Martin.

It was time to be honest. So she took a deep breath, and squared herself with the world. Looking back across the last four years, she could feel the cold breath of truth. He had wanted to date her when they attended the same High School, but she had been to busy with other guys. So then came college.

And again, he pursued her. She had smiled, toyed, played hard to get as she played with more interesting upper classmen. But eventually you go for steady and solid, so she had ended up with Martin. And yes, she had not given it up easy to him. They had at the time both been dating around a bit, and there were other men in her life that knew what they were doing in bed. But finally they had become exclusive, and he had been content to keep it that way. It was her that would run away from time to time, and then come back to him. Was this the same thing, just on a bigger scale?

"I am not ready to get married. I love you, but I do not think we love each other the same way."

"I will not wait."

"I can't. I'm sorry."

"So am I." There was a pause, and she could hear him trying to steady his breath. "Sorry." The phone died in her hand, and she stared at it, before slowly placing it in the cradle. Looking around, she walked into the bathroom, finding the stall all the way in the back empty. She cried silently, but all the same.

Her eyes were red when she came out, and he could tell the signs of recent crying. Without saying anything he took her in his arms, cradling the young woman up close, lifting her onto his lap, letting her unleash her tears again, softly rocking her as she quietly cried into his t-shirt.

Finally she stopped shedding tears, and he wiped her hair out of her face, looking down into big eyes. "He break up with you?"

"Yeah. He didn't want to wait."

"What a foolish man. I would wait."

"Would you?"

"Yes. Don't worry about him. I'm sure I can find you another place to dance. Tampa?"

"Tampa."

He almost had a nose for strip clubs, and they found one not to far from the Motel he chose for the night. This time she prepared, spending some time wandering around an adult toy store putting together her outfit with proper heels and a short skirt, and stretching in the room before they rode down to the skin joint.

He did not drink this time, just sat and watched, and they had worked out subtle signals to pass back and forth. She won this one hands down, as well, and walked out with another thousand dollars, dropping onto her bed after they ordered pizza to count the money that enthusiastic crowd members had thrown on the stage. "Wow, I don't think I've ever made that much money, that fast."

"If you want to continue your streak, we'll have to stick to major cities. In smaller towns, you'll be lucky to pull two hundred in prize, and probably less in throw money."

She nodded, separating the money into two neat stacks. Pulling out her wallet, she slid all the twenties into a small zippered pouch, and the rest of the money into the main pouch, surveying her domain again. "Where are we going next?"

"I told you where I want to end up."

"Well…can I go?"

He shrugged, not really sure how long this association could go on. She was not bound to another now, and his cock had been rock hard the entire time she had been in his lap earlier, and during her performance. The woman was a fox, there was no denying that, and there would come a time when his discipline would fail him, he knew there would. He could only hold on so long. "Sure. Come along."

"Ok. Can we go shopping tomorrow?"

"Again?"

But this time she did not let him come, and he had to prowl the mall on his own, trying to keep himself interested. But he did not mind, the time alone did him well. Even though he was not a big fan of malls, he was a fan of people watching, which he did during this time, letting his mind wander, playing over what he could see in the future.

Alexis now had even less incentive to go home. The girl had apparently saved up a wad of cash during college to finance this little endeavor, and if she continued to swing around chrome, she would do all right. His own financial situation had been planned out and set up to support his own wanderings for a while. Sighing, he shook his head. He had no idea where this was going. To claim otherwise was self-deception. So he went in search of his travel companion, ready to get on the road again, ready to see where it would take him.

And so they headed south some more, rolling down the state roads that kept them close to the water, enjoying the sun until she had him stop again. He cursed her for it, but she knew he was only kidding, and told him it would be worth it.

"I bought something for you."

"What?"

"Just hold on a minute." Again she smiled, and ran into the bathroom.

These were the moments he regretted giving up tobacco, as he wiped the bike down, checked over the engine and chain as he did at least twice every day, thinking ahead. They could make Fort Myers easy, even having left this late. Tomorrow they could push to Miami, one day of hard riding, hang for a day maybe, let her do her thing once or twice, then head down into the Keys. He would be set there. It was his home.

"You like it?" Her voice tore him from his planning process, and he stood, turning around to look at her. When he did, his eyes almost popped out of his head.

She had kept the sunglasses, a pair of Oakley's she said she had owned since being a lifeguard in high school. But the rest of her clothes were gone, replaced by a very small, very revealing, very attractive black bikini, paired with brown leather chaps to protect her legs while riding. He realized that his jaw was open, and he forced it shut, trying not to stare at her tits to much, as he drank in her beautiful form, the tanned skin, the symmetric flow her hips and legs, her hair in the soft breeze.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not another mans anymore."

"I know."

"You know what I'm doing."

He tried to breathe, licking his lips, tried to force moisture into his bone-dry throat and mouth, tried to get his brain into gear. It all failed him. His mind was spinning in neutral, his eyes caught in a cycle of going from her flat stomach and beautiful legs up to her tits, to her soft smile, back down. He had to remind himself to breathe, and finally managed to tear his eyes away, staring down some guy sitting in his car with his eyes caught on the same sight.

"Come here." He beckoned her forward, and watched her come. Her movements were slow and controlled, the same roll of her hips and legs that she used in the strip clubs, the same movements and motions that always got him so turned on. Without thinking about it he shrank back, his body sliding into his natural position sitting astride the bike.

She slipped between him and the handlebars, facing him, both of them breathing slow and controlled, both trying to keep control that was rapidly fleeing them, both trying to keep up the façade that was crumbling between them.

"I would let you fuck me, right here, right now, on this bike, if you wanted to."

"I know you would."

He kissed her. His arms closed around her, pulling her in close, bringing their bodies together, lips locked, tongues dancing, his hands roaming her body, squeezing her ass, her legs wrapping around his waist, hugging him close, time losing its meaning, the kiss becoming everything, breaking only when the air ran out.

Their eyes locked again, and he ran his fingers across her face, listening to her moan, feeling her hair, burying his nose in it, smelling it. Then he tasted her lips again, and she pulled him tight against herself, sinking back into the kiss.

"Let's go, before I commit a crime in this parking lot."

They made Fort Myers easy, finding a motel. He pulled right up to the door, then grabbed her, throwing her over his shoulder, picking up the saddlebags, and carrying both inside. She had waited outside when he got the room, as was their custom, and she was surprised when there was only one bed. Pleasantly surprised.

He dropped the bags, kicked the door shut, and threw her on the bed. She rolled onto her back, and he was there, holding her down, kissing her, tasting her, pulling her tight. It turned into a wrestling match, both trying to undress the other, both trying to kiss every inch of the other.

But he was stronger, so he pinned her to the bed, kissing her all over, his body pressing into hers, the heat from them incredible, her wetness unbelievable.

"Yes…yes…take it, please, please take it!" Her voice was a raw whisper, and he bit her neck, tearing away the bikini top, his lips diving onto her tits as her legs wrapped around him. She moaned out as he sucked her nipples, his hands grabbing her ass again, squeezing it, massaging it as he nibbled and caressed her tits.

She reached down, feeling his hardness in his pants, squeezing it, pumping it, unzipping him and reaching in. He was massive, the shaft pulsing in her hands as she stroked him, trying to pull him into her pussy.

"No foreplay…just fuck me. Fuck me good!"

So he did. Reaching down, he pushed her bikini bottoms aside, and pushed into her. Her screams bounced around the room as his massive shaft filled her, pumping her with all the power his strong hips could build. There was nothing romantic about it, nothing that might be considered soft or loving. His arms wrapped around her as her legs did the same to him, pulling him deeper into her as he pushed in as far as he could.

The motions were out of sync, not the bodies of two people used to one another, a battle between two demanding, free spirits, yet a combination of two forces that wanted nothing more then to please one another, both of them not wanting to let the moment go, holding the other to hold on to themselves.

It was fast, it was hard, it was relentless. They were sweating, kissing, holding, biting, clawing, crying, screaming, fucking. Her whole body shook with orgasm, and then he threw his head back, screaming out loud, his cock pumping load after load of hot sperm into her. His body seemingly enclosed her, still rocking back and forth, still driving her higher and crazier.

Finally they separated, kissing and touching, fondling each other, rolling apart, sucking air, breathing hard. Both of their eyes were slightly unfocused, both of them trying to catch air, and then they were on top of each other again, kissing, licking, tasting.

She pushed away, stumbling into the bathroom, leaving her clothes along the way. She did not realize it, but he followed her, and as soon as he heard the toilet flush, he pushed into the bathroom, carrying her into the shower.

Now his tongue went to work, pushing her under the water, diving between her legs and eating her pussy out. She tried to stop him, but he was having none of that, having her sit on his face, legs over his shoulders, sucking her clit, nibbling it, sucking it, biting it, his hands all over her ass and tits, touching her face, expressing his desires to her.

She shook once, then again, again, and finally begged him to stop. He did, taking a break to wash her. She kept playing with his hard cock, then sank to her knees, and slid him into her lips. Up and down her hands worked, sliding him in and out of her mouth, using her teeth, nibbling, kissing, licking, slobbering all over the hard shaft.

It was something she did very well, and something she took the time to do right. It was a up down, in and out, toying with his balls, using her hand to pump the hard shaft, driving him straight up the walls. He had her stop, pulling her into his arms, kissing her hard.

Picking up her small frame, he pushed her against the tiles, sliding into her again. She cried out over the falling water as he took her again, fucking her hard against the wall. She begged for more, cried out his name, kissing him as he buried his face in her neck, biting her, her slender fingers tracing across his face and neck, down his shoulders, holding on to his wet skin, squeezing him into her.

The force of his hips had to be felt to be believed, the motion that pushed him into her never ending, taking her higher and higher, the fat head pushing across her clit, teasing her, taking her.

When they both came, the stars they saw were a gift to each other, slowly sinking down to sit on the rim of the tub, holding and kissing, whispering sweet nothings to one another, still squeezing, still holding, not wanting it to be over.

"You don't have to do this."

"I want to. Do you not want me to?"

"I like it when you do it." He grinned at her, and she kissed him, loving the feeling of his rough skin and stubble against her soft flesh.

"Be right back."

She smiled again, then mounted the stage, and slipped into her routine. By now it was a skill, something she had mastered, shedding her clothing slowly, moving with the song she had chosen, up and down the pole, through the triangle, then grinding on the stage. They left an hour later, another wad of cash in her purse.

They stopped on the way back to the hotel, picking up Chinese and a bottle of wine, then he carried her inside, and dropped her on the bed. "You are getting good at that."