Untraditional Pt. 03

Aleki's face went stone-cold. "You can't be serious!" she shouted, then remembered her nephew was sleeping. "God, you're either evil or stupid. I can't believe it."

"It doesn't matter now," I tried to diffuse the situation. "Tomorrow, we return home and I'll never see him again. It's back to the life I chose. I can't even say 'stupidly' chose anymore because it is so damned self-serving. I destroyed my mana with the man I loved and the mana between Puko and I soured instead of blossoming."

"Mele," Aleki reached for and grabbed my hand. "You're going home. Home to your husband - that you chose. Home to mother, a woman you listened to at your peril."

There was an uncomfortable built-up pause. I held my breath without realizing it.

"I'm going to Boston," she said and then I saw the pity. God no! Don't say it!

"Rob and I are getting..."

"NO!!" I wailed. A moment later Ikaika awakened and began crying. Aleki headed to her room and left me, a broken sobbing woman, with my son.

>>>>

It's been a while since I've written anything here. My life has been so boring and mundane that I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Mostly, it's because I know who's responsible for where I am. My wonderful son, Ikaika, just turned nine. He's the true love of my life. I haven't lain with my husband, Puko, as man and wife for two years, at least. That has been his choice, not mine.

My real reason for resuming my journal is twofold. Mother is now infirmed. We don't use or much care for Western medicine here. When our citizens become old, they slow down and eventually, as they get weaker, they know it's time. That's where Mother is now. So, Aleki is coming home, much as I did when Father died.

It's been five years since I've seen my sister, Aleki. She's become somewhat of a celebrity on our tiny island. Hell, she's become somewhat of a celebrity around the world - the art world that is.

Rob was a beneficiary of her new-found celebrity, as Aleki had described it. His biological father, a Mr. Dufort had found him through association with my sister. He didn't want a happy reunion though. He met with Rob to pay him off in exchange for never mentioning being his son. I found that to be cruel, but then I had to look in the mirror. Aleki said it was a lot of money.

I have to learn how to deal with this jealousy. When my parents sent me to live with my aunt at fourteen, I always thought I'd be the one entering our island harbor on the ferry with everyone down there, dockside, cheering, covering me with leis, showering me with attention and admiration. The sad thing is, that did happen once, for a brief moment, and I pissed it all away.

Aleki had shown and sold her art on the international stage. One piece that used to reside in a junk shed on the island now fetched a cool one-point-five million or better at auctions. In the five years she'd been on the mainland, my sister's art had fetched a cool ten million, or better. She's on her way here with her family.

Family. The word often stabbed like biting down on sugar cane with an exposed nerve. Part of Aleki's wonderful family used to be mine. How am I going to face her and Rob and their two children with dignity? Children are innocent. They'll see right through my counterfeit smile and phony expression when I'm looking at two kids who will have my family's blood and Rob's blood. They'll remind me of what our kids would have looked like and I'll have to pretend to love them like family because they are.

More than anything, I need Rob to forgive me. I think if I can hear him say the words, then I can truly begin to forgive myself. It's long overdue nine years down the road.

Puko could never be the man Rob was. His love is divided between his only son and his power over the villagers as the head of the council. The worst thing is how incredibly irritable he's become due to Rob's and my sister's return. He was no picnic before that.

I was interrupted by the screen door slamming. Shoving the journal between my mattress and box spring, I went to see what the intrusion was about.

"Puko," I said sounding surprised even though he still lived with me. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing's the matter," a standard response. "I'm going to need your help. The solstice celebration occurs in four weeks. It's your sister's turn."

"No, Puko," I knew what he meant. "Don't even think that. Haven't we had enough misery around that archaic clusterfuck? Besides, the council excused her from participating, you know that. She's here to see our mother through her final days, nothing more."

"Listen to me," Puko got right into my face. "You're my wife and I expect you to act like it. That council nine years ago, they... were railroaded by a sweet-talker. I'm in charge now."

There was no talking to him when he got like this - mean and combative. It felt like some of my American girlfriends described when living with an alcoholic except Puko didn't often drink. His highs were power and control.

I knew that most of the island community was well past the traditions of old, especially after the spectacle that Rob and I created almost a decade ago. Puko seemed fixated on returning to or staying with the many traditions. Personally, I believe that he used those customs to maintain some of his control and swagger.

There was no way I'd support him in his endeavor, not that I'd argue it yet, not until Rob and Aleki were here. I knew that Rob could outsmart Puko but that also made me worry for Rob's safety as well as my sister's.

I cared for Mother most days leading up to the arrival. She was waiting, too, it seemed.

Watching the ferry arrive, it was easy to go back in time and see myself debarking that ship with Rob. The memory was one of happier times but deep down, I had known what I was about to subject my husband to. That tarnished the memory and the feeling.

This was different. Rob and Aleki waved, Rob, holding their four-year-old son, Steven, and Aleki with their newborn, Sarah. The baby was still a month shy of her first birthday.

Puko's amateur photographers were ignored, perhaps even disrespected as Aleki had an entire crew with her. In her last letter, she'd warned me that either NatGeo or the BBC was going to arrive with them as both networks wanted to do a documentary on her life. I was asked to make sure there were accommodations for a crew of four.

I looked over at my husband as the film crew staged their landing and the happy family came ashore. He was as mad as I've ever seen him but he quickly rallied, waving off his friends with cameras.

I ran to Aleki and hugged her tightly. I'd missed her tremendously. Rob stood back a step or two until we broke our embrace. There was a tension there. He wasn't sure whether to shake my hand or hug me. Finally, we both shrugged at the same time and I rushed in for a sisterly hug. Truth be told, for me, it was the highlight of my year. He was leaner than nine years ago and his familiar smell filled my nostrils like the blooming Plumerias. I suddenly realized the embrace was longer than appropriate and I quickly stepped back.

Aleki, the same free spirit she always had been, asked where Mother was. Of course, she was the only person missing from the welcome wagon. When I told her at home in bed, she held Sarah out to me.

"Her name is Sarah," she said. "Take her and get acquainted please."

Puko stepped forward for a brotherly hug and Aleki walked quickly past him, heading to Mother's house. He'd been dismissed twice in just a few moments, in front of his 'subjects' and an international film crew. To his credit, he shook it off and approached Rob.

"Rob," he said without emotion, as he opened his arms. "It's good to see you."

I held my breath. "Jon," Rob said, stepping forward and extending his hand to my husband. This was going to be interesting, to say the least.

Rob and Aleki stayed in the same cabin we'd been assigned almost ten years ago. The film crew stayed three houses down, closer to the beach. Their children were lovely, everything I'd expected. Aleki spent most of her time with Mother. Rob, on the other hand, was respectful only to the point necessary. He'd seen Mother that first day, saying all the right things, and then he stayed clear, caring for his children and getting reacquainted with the villagers. He'd be there on Mother's last day as expected.

We ate meals together. Rob was uncharacteristically quiet with the family. Puko filled the void, bragging about the island and all he'd done for the good of all.

On the seventh day, Aleki was spending the morning with Mother and the kids. Steven and Sarah would have but faint memories in the end but it helped Mother get her mind off the inevitable end.

I saw Rob talking to the fishermen. They laughed and joked. Rob was cleaning a yellowfin tuna, looking like the novice he was. I sat in the sand and watched them, letting my mind wander to what had been and what could have been. The next thing I knew he was walking my way.

"Hello, Mel," I almost melted, hearing the long-forgotten nickname. Then he reached for my hand in a friendly gesture to help me to my feet. He didn't let go either, heading in the direction of the mountain path. I almost wet my panties.

The walk was quiet and carefree as we meandered along. I was thinking desperately of something epic to say.

"Rob, I..."

"Shh," he cut me off delicately. "There's no need for that."

"I think there is," I said, almost begging. "I need to tell you I'm sorry. I made horrible choices and I wish I could take them all back. I know I can't but I'm hoping someday you can find the grace to forgive me."

Rob raised an eyebrow as he stopped walking and stared at me. I think I did wet my pants a little bit then.

"Mel," he almost whispered. "You're forgiven." There was a long pause as he let that sink in. "I should be thanking you," he continued. "I mean at the time, I should have strangled you."

He chuckled at himself. He was so damned cute in his way. "Without your... planned indiscretion, Aleki and I wouldn't have the perfect life we do. I love my life and my family. I'm not willing to hold a grudge forever, Mel. As far as your asshole husband, I'll never offer the same deal."

That was more than fair to me. He wasn't done though. "Mel, we're here for your mother but we're also here to make a major announcement to the entire community. Aleki has done very well for herself. I've helped her invest her money. We have more than enough of it."

He remained quiet and we began to walk again. I wondered what he meant but I kept my mouth shut. This was his show.

"We plan to modernize the island a bit," he said. "Nothing that will upset the village but many others here, like Makana, need the ability... an easier way to come and go from this place. It's our hope and desire to help improve that without totally modernizing this place."

I knew what he meant. I didn't have to ask for specifics because I was one of those people. Nodding, I said, "There are some things you need to know."

We arrived at a clearing. Rob started laughing, hard. "What?" I curiously inquired.

"This place," he waved around. "Did you know..." he was thinking of how to tell me something. I sat down but he remained standing.

"The day after..." he thought about it. "I was still feeling the effects of whatever you used to put me to sleep. Moana and Aleki were there. Made me breakfast and your Mother went right into the whole sad story. I yelled and cursed. She sent Aleki home. Then she gave me a letter I thought was from you and a bunch of books to read. She wanted me to study island traditions like some fucking schoolkid." He realized he was louder and disparaging Mother.

"Anyway," he went on. "As soon as she left, I headed up here. She'd warned me there were guards along the path. I didn't care. This is the spot where we fought. Actually..." he chuckled again. "This is where I lost the biggest fight of my life, in record time."

That thought choked him up. It was no longer funny. This wonderful man walked into something he knew was going to physically hurt him to save me. No... not to save me but to stop me from making a very big mistake. He came to save us.

All the familiar feelings of the past came flooding over me. I knew them all too well and I wasn't going to start sobbing after all this time. I owed Rob more than that so I stuffed them back down into my gut.

"Did you at least get in a few punches?" I asked with a half-smile.

"Ah, yeah... I think. I'm pretty sure they went light on me and pulled their punches but I still hurt for a week." He hadn't been expecting my reaction.

"Rob," I said lovingly. "Sit down." I patted the ground in front of me so I could look him in the eye.

"Puko plans to..." I almost changed my mind. "He plans to springboard off of Mother's death to set up another Ke Ala polohiwa a Kanaloa. He plans to push for Aleki as the last female available for the ritual."

Rob looked astounded. "What the hell are you talking about? There's no way!"

"I know," I assured him. "There is no way but he's still going to push. We haven't celebrated the equinox since... well, nine years ago. The other villagers, the blood of former chieftains, mostly have male offspring. Mother's family is the last in a line directly related to Kane himself."

"Why would he do that?" I think he already knew to answer or surmised it.

"He's a bastard," I said sighing. "Life with him has been unbearable. There's nothing hidden in that statement. I made my choices. He loves his first-born son and he loves having the power that the head of the council enjoys."

Rob tilted his head and stared. I knew that look after so many years and it was like a knife to the side. He didn't trust me. He had no reason to. I stared back with as honest a gaze as I could muster. He seemed to consider something.

"You said his first-born," he left it hanging.

"Rob," I said, "I haven't been intimate with Puko for over two years. There's a variety of reasons for that but let's just say there are plenty of children on this island who share Puko's and Ikaika's looks. I'm stupid but not that stupid."

Rob stared at me, dumbfounded. "I'm going to invoke the council, Mel. Aleki and I have discussed how to do it. We'll need the entire village on our side. Change is difficult even when it's in everyone's best interest."

I regarded his plan. "Puko will put up a fight."

"I hope so," Rob smiled like he had insider information. I hoped he and Aleki knew what they were doing. He helped me to my feet and we headed back.

Dear journal, Mother died today. It's been eleven days since my sister and Rob arrived so everyone had plenty of time to say the important stuff. Now, on my island prison, I'm truly alone, aside from my son. That's something I plan to rectify very soon.

I'm ashamed to write this. On a day that I should be mourning the loss, my head has been filled with thoughts of Rob. Thoughts of happier times and, if I'm brutally honest, thoughts of what could have been. I know they are just fantasies. I'd never try to steal my own sister's man - my man.

Tomorrow night, in accordance with our traditions, we'll celebrate her life with a feast. There will be dancing and the elders will share stories with the children of Moana's family's long contributions on the island. Some will be folklore but much of it will be true.

My life, by my own doing, has become something I'm no longer prepared to accept. I write this on the chance that Ikaika someday reads it. I want my son to understand my thinking but moreover, the horrible things I've done that perpetuated them can serve as a life warning.

With my mana weakened - compromised, even - soon, I'll make the changes that bring my mana back into balance at the expense of others. I hope that someday, I can overcome the guilt and the sadness of what I've done. I long for it.

The funeral was hard on me. I remembered my Father's own, those days immediately afterward, I'd spent with Puko, and how he'd helped me through the loss. That man was but a shadow of his former self now. I finally realized that was my first major mistake - not taking my husband, Rob, to the island with me for the funeral. I'd made plenty since but no more.

The festival of life, a grand luau with dancing and libations - unusual for one of these types of functions - was in full swing. The entire community was there as well as some of the people from the other side of the island.

Aleki's film crew had been asked - or probably told - knowing my sister, to stay low-key and be respectful. I sat at our version of a head table, a semi-circle picnic-type table, with a podium separating another semi-circle table where all the elders sat.

Words were spoken. Reverence was displayed and some cried. The children ran around and played with the others. With all that, my mind was focused on Rob. Sitting with him on the mountain path, up close, I noticed he'd bulked up since I'd last seen him. When he and Aleki had first arrived, I passed it off as weight gain and getting older. The truth was, Rob had been doing something very right. His upper body was bigger and his leg muscles were taught, like a runner or a lifter.

The last of the elders was finishing his kind remarks and Puko stood, I figured to make some lackluster speech about Mother. Before he could start though, Rob had gotten out of his chair and was banging his cutlery on the wooden bowl in his other hand.

"Ah rum," he cleared his throat as the crowd turned to him. "Aleki and I want to acknowledge all of the kind words and for you being here to celebrate the passing of a good woman."

Puko gave him a look of disgust and then sat down. He'd been upstaged for the third time since Rob came to the island.

"Aleki and I have some good news," he continued, "as a tribute of sorts to Moana. As you may know, Aleki has become quite successful through her passion for art. We would like to announce some donations we've made to help the community here but tonight is not the night for that."

Rob paused, "Makemake au Ho o'ponopono Kupuna" He said righteously. "We wish for the entire village to hear our wonderful news before the council."

Aleki had been holding his hand the entire time, supporting him like a good wife. The thought of that made me shiver.

Puko once again stood as Rob took his seat. "Moana was a great woman. The tradition of her family carries on through the ages. The council will be happy to hear your request to donate. It sounds like a noble and just thing considering your wife is her daughter."

Puko was playing with a deck of deuces and he knew it. I could tell how he masked his distaste for Rob. He stayed out drinking with his childish friends long after the celebration ended.

Dear Journal:

The funeral and luau confirmed what I've known for a long time. Again, son, if you're reading this, it is for your own benefit and understanding. Comparing Puko and Rob side-by-side, it's apparent just what an incredible and tragic mistake I made. I can't wish it hadn't happened because then I wouldn't have my beautiful son, Ikaika.

Tomorrow, at the council hearing, if my husband tries to diminish Rob in any way, I'll intervene on his behalf as I should have so very long ago. By the end of the month, I'll be staying on Maui and looking for work. Even I have had enough punishment after so many years.

The fire roared as the villagers assembled. Rob seemed nervous as Aleki appeared to be coaching him to address the community. Puko seemed cocky and arrogant as usual, while the rest of the council spoke softly among themselves off to one side.