Up, Up, and Away

The restaurant Hank chose wasn't anywhere near as nice as the one they'd been to the night before. It was actually more of a bar with food, and it also had a small dance floor. When dinner was over, Hank asked Cheryl to dance, and that's when Zayn asked for 'the other half'.

It took Morgan a second to 'get it', but when she did, she laughed and said, "Oh, right. I did mention that, didn't I?"

"You don't have to tell me," Zayn said. "It's probably none of my business anyway."

Again, the way he looked at her and the way he spoke touched her.

"I trust you," she told him as she stared into his eyes.

"That makes me very happy," Zayn told her as he slowly reached over for her hand.

He saw her look at it then at him and when she smiled he knew it was okay.

"So what's going on?" he asked as he held her tiny hand in his.

"Well, let's just say this isn't their...first date."

Zayn tilted his head a little and raised his eyebrows at the same time.

"Yeah. I kind of heard them. Together. In Hank's room. Earlier today."

"Oh. Ohhh!" Zayn replied with a look of understanding.

Morgan laughed then Zayn asked her how that made her feel.

"You remind me of someone very special," she told him with a smile of her own.

"Me? Really?"

"Yes. You."

"May I ask who this special person might be?"

Morgan looked down for a second then said, "You know I lost my husband and daughter."

"I do, and again, I'm so very sorry."

"Thank you. Me, too. Well, as you can imagine, my world was turned upside down in an instant. Hank kept trying to get me to see someone, but I couldn't see the value in sitting and talking. I assumed it was mostly rehashing the same thing time after time. But I eventually gave in, and to make a long story short, the therapist I ended up seeing was incredibly helpful. In fact, she and I sort of became friends."

"I'm very glad to hear that the therapy helped. And that you made a friend."

"I...I even called her today."

"Oh?" Zayn asked without any pressure for her to answer.

"Yes. I...I guess I needed someone to talk to, and this is an area I don't share with Hank. Pretty much anything else but not this."

"With 'this' being...?"

She looked down again for a moment then looked at Zayn and said, "Men. Dating. Feelings about men and..."

"Feelings? As in possibly having feelings for me?" he asked quietly and without smiling.

Morgan looked down a third time then said, "Yes."

"May I share something with you?" he asked.

"Of course."

"I had a similar conversation with my sister today."

"You did?" a very-surprised Morgan replied, her eyes open wide in disbelief.

"I needed someone I could talk to myself, and Katharine is the only person I really trust."

"I see."

"She knew before I even mentioned your name."

Morgan shook her head a little then said, "Are you kidding?"

Zayn chuckled and told her, "No. Not at all. I no sooner said, 'I need to talk to you', when she laughed and said, 'You really like her, don't you'?"

"Oh, my goodness. So...your sister knows?"

"She does. And she did. She's extremely perceptive. I may have been a fighter pilot, but to Katharine, I'm still just her little brother."

"That's funny. Hank sees me the same way. Without the fighter pilot part. Or the brother part," Morgan told him with a smile and a little laugh.

"So did talking with this therapist-friend of yours help?" Zayn asked as he squeezed her hand.

"It did. It helped a lot, actually."

"The uh...the age thing, right?"

"That would be the one," Morgan replied.

"Does it really matter that much to you?" Zayn asked with genuine sincerity.

"Let's just say I'm not totally freaking out about it anymore."

The nervous laugh that accompanied Morgan's answer was interrupted by Cheryl's much louder voice as they headed back to the table.

"That was SO much fun!" Cheryl bubbled as she sat back down.

"Hey! You kids should give it a whirl!" Hank nearly insisted.

Morgan looked at her brother then at Zayn before saying, "Oh. I don't know. We're just..." when Zayn stood up and pulled on her hand until she was standing in front of him.

"I guess that means we will!" Morgan said as Zayn lead her away.

"Does your sister know Zayn's crazy about her?" Cheryl asked as she cozied up to Hank.

He gave her a kiss then said, "She does, and it scares the hell out of her."

Cheryl gave him a puzzled look and Hank clarified things for her.

"Okay, the thing that really scares her is that she likes him, too. But my sister and I don't talk about 'relationships', so I don't have confirmation, but I know her as well as I know myself, and trust me, she likes him."

"Ah, okay. So it's the age difference, isn't it?" Cheryl, who was very proud of herself for breaking the code, said.

"Bingo!" Hank told her before kissing her again.

Neither Morgan nor Zayn knew the song that was playing when they got to the dance floor, and much to their delight it ended before he could even take her hand. But both of them knew the second song, and it hit both of them hard as Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water began playing.

Zayn didn't see the look on Morgan's face because she buried it in the crook of his neck as he quietly spoke.

"My dad was a hard man to understand or even get to know. He didn't talk a lot, and he was pretty stern. But he loved this song, and I can remember him grabbing my mom when I was maybe nine or ten and whirling her around to it."

When Morgan looked up, her eyes were filled with tears, and Zayn immediately asked if she wanted to sit down.

"No. I...it's just that..."

She needed a moment to collect herself before saying, "This was one of our all-time favorite songs. Nick and mine."

"If it's too painful, we don't have to dance."

"It isn't...painful," Morgan told him as she blinked away the tears. "It's just...bittersweet."

She managed a little smile and added, "Mostly sweet."

As the words 'if you need a friend' rang out loudly, Zayn pulled her close and Morgan snuggled up to him then put her arms around his neck as he put his around her waist.

Just before the song ended, Morgan looked up at him at smiled.

"You are so beautiful," Zayn told her.

She thanked him then unexpectedly said, "Zayn? I like you, too."

"Yeah?" a smiling Zayn asked.

Morgan smiled back and said, "Yes. Maybe even a lot."

He pulled her back in tight during the last few bars, and it was then that both of them knew something was going on between them; something very real.

By the time they sat back down, the carrying on between Hank and Cheryl no longer bothered Morgan at all. In fact, each time they kissed, she looked over at Zayn and found herself longing for him to kiss her. But she wasn't a 'PDA' kind of girl, and if a kiss was ever going to happen it would be when they were alone. For now she was enjoying sitting next to him and holding his hand and getting the occasional smile or wink that made her heart flutter.

Both couples danced several more times in between periods of socialization, and Morgan began wondering if her brother, who'd sworn many times that he would never, ever get married again, might be headed that way. She knew better than to ask, but it was wonderful seeing her brother like this. Well, not so much with the public kissing, but other than that...

When the time came to call it quits, Zayn asked Morgan how she was getting home. Or rather, back to her motel.

"I rode with my brother, but I have the feeling I might be a third wheel."

Zayn laughed then told her he'd be happy to drive her.

"You know what? That would be very nice," she told him before informing her brother.

"Oh, okay. A little alone time with Cap'n Zayn?" Hank teased.

"Ha! Says the guy who needs to soundproof his motel room door!" Morgan shot back before realizing what she'd said.

"Hank. I...I only meant..."

Her brother laughed and told her it was fine then said, "And by 'fine', I mean...amazing!"

Morgan shook her head and tried not to laugh as she told him goodnight and reminded him to be careful. Her brother smiled and promised he would before giving her a quick hug then shaking hands with Zayn.

As they drove through the relatively quiet streets of ABQ, Morgan mentioned the horrific traffic in Seattle.

"I live in a suburb a few miles away, but it's still awful. Wall to wall, bumper to bumper, almost all the time. Even now it would still be busy."

"I couldn't deal with that," Zayn told her. "Or the rain."

"You know, it doesn't rain all that much there. Atlanta gets more rain than Seattle."

"Get outta here!" Zayn replied.

"No. It's true. But it's dark and gray and...raw...a lot of the time. But it really doesn't rain as much as most people think."

"You must enjoy living there, though, right?"

"I don't really know. I've never lived anywhere else, so it's never been an issue. But my husband's love of Breaking Bad got me interested in the desert."

She smiled then said, "Albuquerque in specific."

"How do you like ABQ so far?"

"It has its...finer points," she said almost coyly as she smiled at him.

Zayn laughed then pretended to be very serious as he asked Morgan, "Are you flirting with me?"

Even more coyly she said, "Maybe."

He reached over and took her hand again and smiled at her.

"I'm still trying to work through this age thing, but one thing at a time, right?"

Zayn squeezed her hand, and after he did, Morgan asked the $64,000 question.

"So...how old are you, Zayn?"

"I'll be..."

He looked over at her, smiled, then said, "Twenty-eight in December."

Morgan's hand went limp and her jaw went slack.

"So...you're 27?"

Zayn laughed then said, "Well, I believe that's how it works."

Morgan knew he was younger, a lot younger, but hearing it shocked her.

"Zayn?" she said.

He looked over again but didn't say anything.

"I'll be...41 in March."

"What day?" he asked so nonchalantly she was surprised again.

"What day?"

"Yeah. That way I can send you a birthday card," he told her matter of factly.

He saw the blank look on her face and laughed.

"Unless you decide to stay here, of course."

"How can you not care?" Morgan asked, still not understanding how he could be so cavalier about something so important.

"I care more about you living so far away, Morgan," Zayn told her as he squeezed her limp hand again.

As she felt herself returning to normal she asked again, "How can this possibly not matter to you?"

They were now almost at the motel, so Zayn asked her to let him get parked before he answered. He found an empty spot, pulled in, then shut off the engine.

He unbuckled his seat belt, turned her way, then said, "When I see you, I don't see an age, Morgan."

He slowly reached out and put his hand on her cheek then said, "I see the most amazing, beautiful woman I've ever known. And all that matters to me is being with her."

He gently brushed her hair back then said, "Okay?"

Morgan's heart was racing, and she reached up and took his hand then held it in her lap. She sat there just looking at him for several seconds before saying anything.

"What you just said to me may be the sweetest, most romantic thing I've ever heard."

Her husband had said many wonderful things to her, but at that moment she couldn't recall a single one.

Zayn told her he meant every word then said, "I have never wanted a relationship before. All I wanted was...fun."

"Like my brother...and Cheryl. Today in the motel room," Morgan said as she smiled at him.

Zayn chuckled and told her that was true.

"But with you it's...it's just...different. I don't look at you like that. Instead, I see you..."

"Hey!" Morgan interrupted. "What do you mean you don't 'see me like that'? Am I not...attractive to you?"

Zayn laughed again then told her, "Just the opposite. You are more beautiful than any girl I've ever...dated."

Morgan smiled indicating she didn't care how many there had been, so Zayn kept going.

"You...this is going to sound cliché, but it's absolutely true. You take my breath away, Morgan."

She smiled again then asked him why, if that were really true, he hadn't kissed her yet.

"I believe we got interrupted the one time I tried."

"Oh, yes. I do seem to recall that," Morgan happily replied as she saw him leaning her way.

Their first kiss was soft and sweet and ended much too soon for both of them, but it reinforced the feelings Morgan had experienced when she felt like this was becoming real.

"So now what?" she asked very sweetly.

"Were it up to me I'd ask you to..."

"Come back to your place?" Morgan said, only partly teasing.

He put his hand on her cheek again then said, "Were you anyone else, I'd have asked you the first time we met. But you're not just anyone else, Morgan."

"I do believe that was even more romantic than what you said a few moments ago," she quietly replied.

"I honestly don't even think about those...other women. But I can't stop thinking about you," he told her in a way that made her heart race again.

Morgan had no idea why she knew, but she knew that she did, and once she did, she had to say it.

"Zayn? I believe you. But I also want you to know that were you to, you know, ask me to...come back to your place...I would say 'yes'."

"Nothing would make me happier, Morgan. But if rushing things hurt any chances we might have to make this work longterm, I'll wait as long as..."

Morgan leaned over, took his face in her hands and kissed him.

"I promise it won't hurt your..."

She smiled at him then changed it to, "Our...chances."

"Are you sure?"

Morgan bit her lower lip then said, "I haven't been this sure of anything since Nick was alive. So, yes. I'm sure."

Without another word, Zayn started the car and backed out before heading toward the Nob Hill area. Neither of them spoke on the way their or until they got to his apartment.

But once they stepped inside, Morgan was more than a little surprised.

"This can't be a bachelor pad," she said as she looked around. "It looks amazing."

Zayn thanked her then said, "I have a sister with a very good sense of taste. She decorated it for me."

"This whole complex is...gorgeous," Morgan told him as she continued looking around.

Zayn followed her and explained this and that as she asked questions, most of them about his Air Force pictures on one of the walls.

She turned around and asked him why he left the military. Zayn had never shared his feelings with anyone, but he knew he could tell this beautiful, older woman, and that she wouldn't judge him for it.

"I can't stand the though of ever taking another human life," he told her quietly.

His words felt like they'd seared themselves into her heart as she tried to imagine what it would be like knowing that he'd done the thing he said he could never do again, and without further hesitation she put her arms around him and said, "Will you please make love to me?"

Zayn was a practiced, skilled lover, and Morgan was utterly amazed at the things he made her body feel. What she didn't know was that even after four years of total abstinence, she was still a very able lover herself, and Zayn was every bit as satisfied as she was when they lay in each other's arms an hour or so later.

"Are you disappointed?" Morgan asked, causing Zayn to nearly sit up.

"Why would I be disappointed?" he asked, stunned by the question.

"Because you've seen me naked. And by me, I mean my 40-year old body."

"Hey! Your body is amazing and sexy as hell," he told her with a smile.

"No, that would be your body, but thank you just the same."

"You still don't get it, do you?" Zayn asked as he played with her hair.

"Get what?"

"The way I see you or how much I...like you."

"Maybe I don't, but I'm very happy that you do," Morgan told him with a warm smile.

"You know, I have insecurities, too. About us."

"Oh? How so?"

"I'm afraid you'll realize I'm not the man your husband was and you'll come to your senses and go back home and forget all about me."

Now Morgan nearly sat up.

"I'll always love Nick. But that doesn't mean there isn't enough love in my heart to love someone else just as much."

"I know there's a lot of love in there. I'm just not sure it's designated for me," Zayn told her quietly. He wasn't whining or hinting, and he definitely wasn't complaining. He was simply sharing how he felt.

"So I guess it isn't just me then," Morgan said. "You know, with you being a college graduate, a fighter pilot, and a business owner while I never went to college and have never had a career."

Zayn smiled then, mustering up as much faux bravado as he could said, "And all that by the age of 27."

"Oh, there we go! Just when I was feeling better about that, you just had to go and bring it up!" Morgan teased back.

"Speaking of up," Zayn said.

Morgan had been looking at him, and when he looked toward the foot of the bed, she did, too. The sheet that was draped over her young lover looked like a teepee just below his waist.

Morgan laughed then told Zayn, "What goes up—must come down."

"Someone knows her physics," he teased as she reached for him. By the time she used something other than her hand on what had 'gone up', Zayn groaned loudly.

"And someone knows her..." Another loud groan ended his sentence as he lay there marveling at how beautiful and amazing she was.

At some point that night, Zayn asked the question he wanted to ask but dreaded saying out loud.

"Do you know when you're leaving?"

Without looking at him Morgan told him, "The day after tomorrow."

"I have the name of a realtor. If you were serious," he told her as she traced little circles on his chest.

"Zayn. I...I really do like you. A lot, in fact."

"But?" he asked, knowing one was coming.

"This is all happening so fast."

"I'm tempted to remind you this is the longest it's ever taken for me to, you know," he said as he tried to smile.

She looked up at him, smiled, then said, "Oh, right. Perspective really is everything, isn't it?"

"I'd like you to stay," Zayn told her, tired of being indirect.

"I can't, Zayn. I...I need time."

She looked at him again then said, "Can you give me some time?"

Realizing that relationships meant compromise, it was clear he couldn't have everything he wanted, and he wanted Morgan to stay in the worst possible way.

"Of course. Take whatever time you need," he told her before softly kissing her again. "I'll be here—whatever you decide."

As Morgan lay there looking at him, she no longer saw him as 'the younger man'. She now saw him as an intelligent, mature adult who might possibly be in love with her. And as much as she wasn't ready to admit it, she couldn't help but wonder if she might just be in love with him. And it was that thought that scared her half to death.

"I hope you understand," she said quietly as she looked at him.

"I can't say it doesn't hurt, but I do understand."

"I know it's the middle of the night, but would you take me home?"

Zayn didn't mention that 'home' was a motel. He only told her he would as he forced himself to smile.

He walked her to her door and asked if he could see her again that evening.

"I'd like that," she told him before kissing him goodbye.

The last time Zayn had felt that alone was when he learned that the precision munitions he'd dropped near a village in support of Army soldiers on the ground had killed the elderly woman who was outside at the wrong time. He and his wingman had taken out a half dozen jihadists, too, but the only thing he could see was this woman's face even though he'd never met here.

And now he was about to be unable to see the most beautiful face he'd ever seen before, and as much as it hurt, he knew he had to let her go.