Voodoo Girl Pt. 01

I sighed and sat up beside Wendy, against the headboard. "She moved to Florida. My dad and I moved in with my grandmother."

"That must've been terrible for you." Coming from anyone else, that line would have sounded like trite filler. Looking at Wendy's big blue eyes, I knew she meant it. Impulsively I hugged her.

When I pulled away, I saw that she was crying. "I'm so grateful to have my son here with me."

"I'm sure you are. He's lucky to have you."

"I chose him over my husband," she said in a rush.

I didn't know what to say, so I stayed silent.

"There was... It was before we had the electric fence working. We were constantly on guard. Jim..." She swallowed down a sob. "Jim was working on the fence. Tinkering around. I yelled at him that he didn't know what the hell he was doing, but he was stubborn." She gave me a tremulous smile. "A lot like my son."

I forced a smile and took her hand. I could tell she needed to get this off her chest. "And then what happened?"

She stared at the wall, obviously looking back at that day. "I heard someone shout and I looked away. Whole masses of them were coming in, and they were fast. I couldn't move for a minute. Then Jim shouted my name and I grabbed for my gun. Jim didn't have his on him. I could see..." she shuddered and stopped to pull herself together. "I could see the fear in his eyes. Not having your gun is like a death sentence. So I stayed by him and we tried to get to the house, but there were so many of them that we got separated. Then I saw Nate in the distance. Nate was stumbling to the ground, wrestling one of them. And it was winning, and then I looked. I looked towards Jim and he was rolling the grass with the other one. I picked up my gun and missed. My hands were shaking so bad."

She wiped at her nose and stood. She went over to the window. I watched her stare out of it, illuminated in the moonlight.

"I saw I only had one bullet left. Nate was pushing back but he just didn't have enough strength left so... I shot the zombie fighting him. Nate looked stunned for a minute, like he didn't know why there were all these brains all over him. He caught on quickly and he got up and ran for me. He grabbed the back of my shirt and then Jim looked up at me. He just looked up at me. And he told me he loved me just as the zombie bit into his throat."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

She looked at me. "A good mother chooses her children. I'm sorry you didn't have that."

Then she came back to me and pulled the covers up under my chin. She kissed my forehead and my heart broke.

"Would you sleep with me tonight?" I begged, feeling like I was seven all over again.

Wendy smiled sweetly and picked up the sheets. "I snore."

"I don't care," I laughed.

She rested herself next to me in the big bed and I fell asleep almost instantly.

__________

The next morning I woke up to a pot of coffee brewing. I washed quickly with water Wendy left for me and put on another dress she had—white and airy. When I finally limped downstairs, Ariel gave me a bored look.

"How's the pain?"

"Better."

"I have more pills with me but it's better to conserve. Let me know if you really need them."

"I will. Thanks."

She got up and went upstairs. Nate was sitting at the end of the table, watching me closely.

"What?" I asked.

His shoulder was bandaged up and he had much more scruff on his face than before. He looked downright terrifying, all scruffy and tan. Something in my stomach dipped.

Wendy brought me out a coffee and tutted when she saw him staring me down. "Leave her alone, Nate."

He gave her a scorching look. "Leave her alone? We almost died because her thousand bags of sunflower seeds—that were so fucking important to bring back—weighed her down!"

Anger ran up my spine. "Excuse me? You're blaming what happened yesterday on me?"

"Obviously not the whole thing. You weren't the one shooting me, were you?"

"No, unfortunately not!" I spat. "And it wasn't all sunflower seeds, what the fuck?"

He ignored that. "I'm talking about afterwards. You could barely run. Did I, or did I not, warn you about carrying all that shit back?"

"I could barely run because I fell, jackass!"

"Why do you think he fell?" He looked up at the ceiling with an expression of mock wonder. "Hmm? Do you think it was, oh, maybe, the fucking hundred-fucking-pound bag on your fucking back?!"

"Enough!" Wendy snapped. "You getting bested by some stranger isn't Fiona's fault! For God's sake."

Nate stopped screaming out loud, but I knew he was calling me every bad name he could in his mind.

I tried to ignore him. "Did anyone figure out who it was yesterday?"

Wendy shook her head. I downed my coffee and decided I couldn't deal with the burn of Nate's glare anymore. "How's Libby?"

Wendy shrugged and sat down next to me. "Better, I think. The action that happened yesterday was enough to snap her out of it."

"Where is she?"

"The barn, I think."

"Really? Is that safe? Can't they just, like, shoot us as we walk through the yard?"

Wendy smiled weakly. "Zach and Doug are guarding. Walking around the perimeter. Just try to stay as far away from the edges as you can, bring your gun with you and keep a look out."

"Okay," I breathed. "I'm going out there. See ya." I got up and smoothed the bottom of my dress, accidentally meeting eyes with Nate.

"Be careful," Nate bit out. "I wouldn't want to get my other arm shot to shit just because you were an idiot again."

I squinted at him, dreaming of punching him in the jaw. I told myself it wouldn't solve anything, and I hobbled out into the yard.

The woods were eerily still. I waited for someone to appear, or for shots to be fired again. A hand fell on my shoulder.

"Hey," Doug said. "I went out there this morning. There's no one out there, at least for now."

I nodded and thanked him. When I got to the barn, I found it empty. Libby must've gone back. I sat down on some hay and tried to quiet my mind. It was boiling hot in the barn and I felt sweat dripping down my back. I wiped my forehead and got up, beyond thirsty. That's when the back of my neck prickled.

I looked up and saw Nate leaning against the wall. He'd come in and I hadn't even heard him.

"My mom told me to apologize."

I snickered. "Are we in the third grade?"

"It definitely feels that way sometimes." He rubbed a hand through his hair. It was strange how beautiful I thought it was, considering I loved brown hair on a man. His was a perfect shade of dirty blonde, and combined with his dark blue eyes, there was no doubting he was a handsome guy. "Look, I lost my temper. I don't usually get so angry but—"

"But we were in crazy circumstances. I get it. You were an asshole, but you're forgiven." I stared down at some wayward straw beneath my boots. "And I'm sorry I packed all that crap into my bag. I should have listened to you."

I heard him laugh and my eyes darted up to his.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing, it's just... I thought that was going to be a lot harder. You're generally a pain in the ass."

"Wait a minute, weren't you just apologizing? And already you're telling me I'm a pain in the ass?"

Nate smirked. "Even you have to admit you're a brat."

"A brat! How am I a brat?"

He shook his head, but he continued smiling and—fuck—he had a beautiful smile. Something began loosening in my chest and I couldn't stop it. My lips turned upwards without my approval.

"I'm heading back. Don't stay out here too long by yourself. It isn't safe."

I nodded, and just like that he was gone and our moment was over.

__________

That night we all sat in the living room and past around a bottle of wine. It turned out that Wendy and her husband had a wine cellar and were big collectors. Thank God for it, because if there were ever a night I needed a drink it was this one.

Zach was watching me, I realized. Not just in an idly interested sort of way, but that sizzling way a man looks at a woman he wants. Ariel noticed, too. Her head continuously swung between us.

Great.

I didn't know what I did to provoke his admiration, if I did anything. These were insane times, and insane times drove people to fuck more. It was a fact, proven time and time again by history. It was something that brought simple joy, temporary closeness and a fleeting appreciation to be alive.

Libby cleared her throat. "I think we should draw them out and fight them. I don't want to live day after day peeking over my shoulder, and they're not going to stop."

Doug nodded beside her.

"I don't think we should be starting a war when two of our people are incapacitated," Wendy said.

"For God's sake," Ariel hissed. "I'm so tired of this back and forth shit. Frank was a real leader. He told it like it was, and he made the tough decisions and you couldn't deal with it, Wendy."

"How many times have I told you not to talk about him?!" she screeched. This unhinged Wendy was quite a sight and I watched, fascinated.

"You can't silence me, Wendy, you're not my fucking mother!"

"Thank God for that!"

Libby snorted from somewhere across the room.

"You were afraid of him," Ariel went on. "Admit it! You knew that we all were listening to him and you hated it."

Wendy stood. "This is my house. I don't answer to anyone. And if you don't like it, you can go, too."

Ariel swallowed and Zach took her hand. She ripped it from him.

"I think it's been a long night," Nate calmly said. "I think we should all go to bed."

Wendy stomped upstairs. Ariel watched her with a furious glare, but she was forced to look up at Nate when he moved across the room to stare down at her

"If you ever talk to my mother like that again I'll feed you to the zombies, piece by piece. Do you understand me?"

She swallowed but she didn't look away. "I'm not afraid of you."

Nate's smile was slow and frightening. "You're here out of the goodness of our hearts. Don't you dare try my mother's patience. She's a warm-hearted woman but she'll make no bones about shredding you apart if she thinks it's for the greater good. That's what happened with Frank, and that's what will happen with you. Do you understand me?"

She bolted up and went off to wherever she slept. Zach followed, shaking his head. Whether his annoyance was at her, at Wendy or Nate, or at everything in general I couldn't be sure.

_______

Months passed. Nothing and everything changed. There were no more attacks. We were lulled back into as much security as we could possess in those times.

I smiled more. Libby and I became friends. We all listened as Ariel fucked Zach in the middle of the night after waking up from her constant nightmares. Nate stalked around, broody but handsome. Doug made us all laugh. He used to be a stand-up comedian before all this. Wendy watched us all with a sense of pride and contentment. It soothed her, I think, to see us all get along and clutch the pieces of who and what we used to be before.

And as the days went on, I learned more about the people who'd become more or less my family. Ariel was a bitch but she could really be hilarious when she wanted to be. She had a filthy mouth and knew more dirty jokes than even Doug did. Libby had two children. She'd sent them off with their father to California just as things got bad. It was supposed to be better on the west coast, or at least that's what they said in the early days.

She wept in the afternoons, underneath the large tree at the back of the property. She told me once she dedicated that time to feeling sorry for herself. She let out all her pain, her confusion, her anger, her grief in that hour. It didn't go away when her time was up, she said, but it helped her get through each day.

And Doug! Doug hated relationships, he said to all of us one night. We were having dinner together, talking about past lovers (Nate and Wendy didn't participate), and he began to cry when he said he wished he'd married one of his ex-girlfriends. He wished someone out there was missing him.

Nate was a different story. He was a mystery. I couldn't get close to him; he didn't let anyone probe the man beneath the rugged exterior. Libby said that's how he survived, but I wasn't so sure. He loved his mother. It was clear when he looked at her, when he joked with her. He was capable of great love. I could feel it.

One day I was passionately telling Libby this and she grinned at me, all fucking knowing.

"What?" I'd asked, self-conscious.

"You're into him."

My eyebrows went up. "What?"

"You want him. It's cool—I think he wants you, too. You should see the way he watches you when you walk around camp."

That had sent a deep flow of warmth from my head to my center. "Really? I mean, are you sure he's watching me? Or that, like, there's even any desire in it? Because I think he considers me to be pretty ridiculous. And silly. Maybe at most he could think I was cute. Maybe."

Libby shook her head. "Babe, you two are so going to fuck soon."

A thrill had gone through my spine and my mouth watered. I'd hoped she was right because I was desperate for touch, Nate's in particular. But it didn't appear she was correct because Nate avoided me as much as he could.

There were other routines developed. Our relationships with one another were important, but surviving was our absolute concern. We went through protocol. We were constantly on guard, watching and waiting for whoever shot at us to return. Sometimes we convinced each other it was a random attack. Most of the time we accepted the distinct possibility they'd be back, and they'd come at us a lot harder.

In the mornings I went out to milk the cows alone. It was peaceful to hear the birds chirp, the farm animals' soft morning noises, the wind occasionally brushing against and through the old barn. It was the one time of the day I was entirely alone and I loved it.

One morning, when my thoughts were consumed by memories of what my mornings used to be like back in the day, straw crunched behind me. I spun around and went for my gun, but then I spotted Nate holding both his hands up.

"Sorry."

My heartbeat slowed a bit. "Jesus Christ, Nate."

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I thought you heard me."

"I did hear you. I just didn't know it was you."

He shrugged and sat on a pile of hay. He watched me squeeze the udders for a while.

"What's up?" I finally asked him.

"Ariel and Zach. All night."

"Ugh."

His eyes met mine. "Exactly."

"Were they a couple when they got here?" I was genuinely curious. They were such a mismatch, and so volatile. It was incredible to me that they hadn't shot each other yet.

"I don't know. I just know they showed up together, and I'm pretty sure they slept together right away."

I finished milking the cow and pet her back. "Sweet thing. Thank you."

Nate snickered. "Did you just thank the cow?"

"Fuck you, Nate."

Something happened when I said those words. Something switched in his body, and my own being became acutely aware of the change. And then both of our bodies locked and our stares tangled, sparking into wildfire.

He wants me to fuck him, I realized. He wasn't made of stone. He wanted to be good, to stay out of trouble, to not complicate things. It all became clear to me and he didn't even have to say a word.

He took a step towards me. When he extended his hand to reach for me, my breath caught. Instead of grabbing me and pulling me to him, he stroked my hair.

"This is a very bad idea," he whispered.

"Yes."

"We have a lot of other things to worry about."

"I know," I breathed.

"The last thing we need to do is turn into Ariel and Zach."

I could only nod.

And then he brought his body to mine and kissed me. His lips were a little cold, which somehow made our kiss sizzle even more dramatically. My body disconnected from my mind, and it wanted only one thing: him.

He must have felt the same desperation because he pulled his mouth away and watched me heave in oxygen. God knows what I looked like, all frazzled and pink and raw.

"I need you," he confessed. "I wish I could say we could go gentle or easy, or go on a date first or something but I'm so hard. I'm so hard. You make me so hard. And I'm so—"

We heard a scream and both of us froze. Nate kicked back into action before I did. I ran after him into the yard. Fear spread through my blood when I spotted the zombie.

I didn't have a chance to wonder why, or how, or who. It all happened so fast. There was a zombie on our side of the fence and he was standing over a cowering Wendy.

Doug ran toward them, a gun in his hand, but he didn't see another zombie come darting out behind the broken down tractor next to the barn. The zombie was a teenage girl, dressed as if she were off to celebrate at a high school football team. She even had a jersey number drawn on her cheek. She lurched toward him and caught him off balance. They struggled against one another. I was so horrified I couldn't even scream.

Zach and Ariel ran out of the house with their guns. Zach managed to get a bullet into the zombie fighting Doug. Libby sank down next to him and hugged him, running her hands over his body to make sure he was okay.

Nate shot the zombie on top of his mother. He dragged him off of her and shot him again in his chest for good measure. I stepped next to him and looked down in horror.

Wendy's throat was in shreds. Her eyes were wide and her pale hands were wrapped around her throat, trying but failing to stop the blood from pouring out. Nate was absolutely frozen, staring down at his mother with ineffable horror.

Wendy looked at me and whispered something. I couldn't hear her. I wiped at my eyes and knelt my good knee next to her. I tried to stop crying so I could hear her, and put my ear next to her shaking lips. "Sh-shooot meee."

My head snapped up. "I can't!"

"Shoot meee!"

I looked up at Nate.

He didn't react. His eyes were wide and wild.

I looked back at Wendy. "P-please," she begged.

I was so smothered in tears I could hardly see or breathe.

"Shhhhoot me. Before-"

I lifted my gun and shot her in one smooth motion. Her blood was all over me.

Libby cried out and got down on her other side. She took her head into her lap and screamed. I dropped my gun and scrambled to stand. My hands were covered in blood. Nate just stared at Wendy, unmoving and emotionless.

Doug came over and lifted me in his arms. He brought me into the house and laid me on the couch. I sobbed so hard that I had to throw up. I bent over and gagged on nothing. My stomach spasmed, over and over again. I was grateful for the distraction, but eventually my sobs died down.

Zach sat next to me. He looked as though he pitied me. He didn't even know me, not even the little amount the others did, and he was giving me that look. I wanted to stomp on his eyes, to throw acid in them, to boil them so they could never look at me like that again. "It's okay. Take a deep breath."

"I shot her! I shot her!"

"You had to, shush," Doug soothed. He sat on the other side of me.

I sobbed until I had nothing left. Then I stared at the wall, numb and spent.

Doug and Zach went outside at some point. Ariel came inside and paced in front of me, wringing her hands and pausing every now and then to stare out the window. Libby joined us and sat on a stool, restlessly jiggling her leg.

"The boys are investigating," she explained when she realized we were staring at her.

"Wendy?" Ariel asked.

"Taken care of."

Minutes passed. Hours, maybe.

"Someone let them in," Libby eventually whispered. I wasn't sure if she was talking to me or to herself. "How did they get past the fence?"

About twenty minutes later, Doug, Zach, and Nate came back in. Nate collapsed on the recliner and said nothing. He didn't even appear to notice we were in the room with him.