XXX Joke Adult Joke

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adult jokes.
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Wife to her husband: janu meri blouse utaro..

AB aisa karo mera ghaghra bhi utaro.

Ab dono undergarments bhi utaar do.

Aur khabardar Jo aaj k baad mere kapde pehne to

Ek Aurat Subah hote hi mohalle ke doctor ke paas gayi aur boli, Kya mere pati ko viagra tum ne di thi?

Dr: Ji Memsaab.

Lady: Toh Madarchod, CHOOT bhi apni BIWI ki hi deni thi na...!!!

TEACHER: 1 drop of sperm is equal to 100 drops of blood.

STUDENT: To fir miss aap hamara khoon kyon chusti hai, direct Lund chuso na..

Saali: Mini skirt me jija ji ke paas aakar kehti hai, Jiju dekhoto jhukne se meri panty dikhti hai kya?

Jija: oh ho, arre pehle pehan to lo, phir dikhana.

Sali: tumko APRIL FOOL bana rahi thi....

Patni gussa- Main ghar chhod ke jaa rahi hu.

Pati- Jana hai to jaldi ja warna teri gaand mar dunga.

Patni- Bas apki yehi meethi meethi baatein jane nahin deti..

Wife pathan se: Aaj tum mere saath is terhan aisa kuch karo ke bas meri cheekhein hi nikal jayen,

Pathan ne wife ki shalwar main aag laga di

Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?

Shopkeeper: Rs 500

Santa: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahin chahiye

Ramlal: Thakur sahab. Gabbar ne bahu ki ijjat loot li hai.

Thakur: To main kya karun?

Ramlal: Bahurani poochh rahi hai Gabbar se badla lena hai ya payment?

Teacher: Wats Ur name?

Boy: Hola

Teacher: Ye kya nam hua

Boy: Main holi k din hua tha na

Teacher: Thank god tum 'lodi' k din paida nahi hue!

Santa: AAJ GHAR JATE HI BIWI KI PANTY UTARUNGA,

Banta: AAJ TU BADE MOOD ME HAI?

Santa: MOOD KI AISI KI TESI, BAHUT TIGHT HAI , SUBAH GALTI SE PEHANLI THI

Pehli raat ko kamre ke andar jaate hi, dullhan apna blouse kholne lagi.

Dulha: Ye kya kar rahi ho.

Dulhan: Maa ne kaha tha jate hi dudh pilana

Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.

Lady : Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain!

Santa : Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.

Jeetto was going to Chandigarh for vacations.

At the time of packing Santa thinks, kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa

raha phir bhi condom saath le jaa rahi hai.

Santa standing in balcony without shirt.

Banta, "Wah Santa ji kya chest hai.

Santa, "Yeh to kuch nahi hain, andar ja ke apni BHABI KE dekh.

Once a sadhu went to a prostitute and after completing, while leaving the prostitute asked "baba, paise." He replied "pagli tujhse paise thodi loonga."

Son: Dad, gajab ho gaya, bhai darwaja nahi khol raha.

Dad: Kal uski suhagraat thi.

Son: Kal raat ko bhai ne cold cream mangi thi maine fevicol de diya bhul se.

Girl: I'm like a radio, my left nipple is volume, my right nipple

is tuner,.. Boy turns both but there is no sound. Girl Said, Stupid

neechay cell(battery) tera baap dalega kya.

Question: Why do most men prefer to kiss a woman's lips?

Answer: That's the best way to shut a woman's Horizontal mouth &

open the Vertical one...!

A Girl Sitting in Examination hall with Sardar je..

Girl: Main aap ke naqal mar loon?

Sardar: Aahooo.. tu mere naqal mar lay phir main tere asal maroonga ...

Bahu: Maa ji wo abhi tak nahi aye kahin kisi dosri aurat k saath .

Saas: Are kalmuhi, tu hamesha aysa kyon sochti hay? Ho sakta hay truck ke neechay aa gaya hoga.

Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa...

Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.

Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete ho

What do 2 sardars says to each other if they share the same girl?

Ans: assi tussi same pussy kabhi tu ghussy kabhi mein ghussy.

Who has biggest ****?

Ans: Dharmendra's wife. Because sunny Deol sings " Main nikla Gaddi le ke..."

Ek aurat apne padosi ke sath sex kar rahi thi, ki tabhi uska pati aa gaya aur padosi ko pitne laga,

Patni boli: Maro aur maro parai aurat pe hath dalta hai,

itne me padosi uske pati ko pitne laga,

Patni fir boli: maro aur maro ''NA KARTA HAI NA KARNE DETA HAI".

Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip khuli dekh ladkiyan jor se

hasne lagi.

Masterji bole: Zyada hehe ki to bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga.

==========

A man and his son were talking about sex. The son asked his father, "dad, what does a pussy look like?"

The dad asked him, "before or after sex?"

"Ummmm, before sex", the kid replied.

The dad said, "have you ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red petals?"

"Yeah" said the son.

"Well, what about after sex?" said the son.

His dad replied, "have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise"!!!

==============

After a plane crash only two people survived and made it to an island - Santa Singh and Aishwarya Rai.

Santa was careful not to offend the actress for several days, but finallyhe asked her if they could start a physical relationship, so as to attend to each other's needs.

Aishwarya agreed and a very nice sexual relationship began.

After several months still on the island, Santa said, "I have a problem... It's kind of a guy thing, but I need to ask you a favor.'

Aishwarya replied, "Okay,' to which he asked, "Can I borrow your eyebrow pencil?'

Santa then asked, "Do you mind if I use the eyebrow pencil to draw a mustache and beard on you?'

Aishwarya was growing worried, but again obliged.

Then Santa said, "Can you wear some of my clothes? I need for you to look more like a man.'

Aishwarya was becoming disappointed at this point, but hesitantly put on his clothes.

Finally, Santa reached out to her and shouted "Oye Banta! You won't believe who I have been sleeping with!'

=============

A useful Frog

A guy walks into a bar, orders a scotch and soda and puts a frog on the bar. The bartender gives him the drink and asks what the frog's for?

The guy snaps his fingers and the frog jumps down and blows the man. The bartender is amazed, and asks to see that again.

So the guy a second time snaps his fingers, the frog jumps down, blows the man, and hops back on the bar. The bartender is astounded, he offers the guy $3000 for the frog.

The man of course accepts, and gives the frog to the bartender.

The bartender, after his shift, goes home. he's sitting in his kitchen, calls his wife over, says he has something to show her.

His wife walks in, the bartender takes the frog out of his pocket, puts it on the table, snaps his fingers, the frog jumps down, blows the bartender and hops back on the kitchen table.

The wife asks, "why the hell are you showing me this?"

The bartender says, "cause you're going to teach him how to cook and then you're gonna get the fuck outta here."

==============

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AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Dirty Gujarati Jokes

Amazing collection. You have shared such a funny jokes. I liked all the jokes. You have such a great sense of humor. For more adult jokes just visit <a href="http://gujaratijokes.net/dirty-jokes-in-gujarati/">dirty gujarati jokes</a>

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
nice

gujranwala

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Lol

I really enjoyed all jokes.

Keep it up.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago
bakwas

sab bakwaas hai

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