by Deadly Joker
Even though BDSM is not my cup of tea. Your stories always have the power to hold the reader.
WOW! Plenty of sex and an actual story, even though this genre doesn't usually appeal to me! Good luck in the contest!
loved your take on Dominance and submission, while not the typical BDSM story with a sadistic Dom, the male character plays the part quite well.
...right up until the first "Daddy" comment. That's a real turn-off for me. Frankly, I found that the ending ruined the story. IMHO. Really great up to that point however!
I'm sorry but that was a terrible story for me. The characters weren't really well developed and the sex wasn't very hot either it seemed to not last very long at all with little detail. I'm not trying to be mean or anything just honest feedback. Definatly not your best work.
It's a nice balance with control, my only critical comment could be that the characters are a little undeveloped..which wouldn't be too bad, but they start speaking of love?