All Comments on 'An Upper-Cut to the Jaw'

A well-written, well-told story. 5 stars.

Wonderful story! Loved the turd revenge. A friend told that in the communal shower/restroom in his college dorm, someone had unloaded a gigantic turd. As a tribute, no one flushed the toilet for the rest of the semester.

5

Okay! D

I sort of thought the story was headed to a RAAC when I read the son-in-law’s parting words, but all in all a great story. Five stars.

Interesting perspectives for this story.

I was a bit surprised at the number of editing errors for an author who normally posts much more cleanly written stories.

Powerful story telling!

The part about the toilet wasn't really needed and didn't add anything to the story. Otherwise a good story . Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

Great first half of the story. Having the daughter confront her was great. The second is a definite meh for me. Way too much of a Disney ending for me

The scatological revenge did little for me, but I'm not the target audience. The last two paragraphs were comedy gold.

The Style Guy classic, great writing believable characters, maybe except for the slut wife, and a funny end. 5*despite the toilet.

That was good. I always enjoy a story with a heads-up, strong willed daughter who was raised right. I suppose that whether she was never happy with a husband that was not her first, or they were never happy with a cheater, is immaterial to the ending of the story. Yeah, the toilet part was a little more than I could take.

Loved the "cascading" husbands for Jillian at the end - hilarious! 5*

4 stars. The BTB aspect initially was great. The kids being on his side was an (unexpected for LW stories on this site) delight.

The complaint was that the bitch didn't really suffer all that much. I know Tracy said she'd lose the chance at CEO and probably some money; but the ending didn't confirm either. The ex managed to attract endless series of husbands - which means she's still happy; she has money, bed-warmers and can change men as often as she desires. And she still ended up with good relationship with her kids despite initial harsh words. Seems like a win-win for her, instead of BTB; in the long run; divorce being her only minor loss

Great story

"Brian leaned down and softly kissed his in-law CUM-stained cheek..."

C'mon man. Be more thoughtful in writing these physical actions.

Put yourself in these character's place. He just confirmed an affair. And somehow this Brian don't have enough disgusting suspicion on the cheater's filthy condition that he kissed that woman's cheek??

EVEN if the cheaters didn't have sex just before the confrontation, how is this Brian can be sure enough of it. Put yourself in his place, you'll know kissing her cheek is not a logical action during that time.

- Anon743349

Well written?

Jillian and Mickie are 49.

I bet it's just as easy to spot the wrinkles alongside those nooks on Mickie's 'sexy' body.

With characters that old, just leave the 'sexy' stuffs out. It's the opposite of arousing.

And introducing several stuffs that went unanswered.

Why mention an Alienation of Affection lawsuits that weren't brought up anymore?

Did Jillian eventually become the person the children need her to be?

And Brian kissing Jillian's cheek... Ever heard of facial?

An otherwise good story spoiled by a few negative elements: 1) The language used by Tracy when she confronted her mother was simply not credible, 'slut' is debatable but no matter how upset she is no woman is going to call her mother 'cum dump'. That's the sort of language men use in these situations. Similarly, her repeated use of 'shit stain' towards her mother's boyfriend wasn't credible. 2) The stunt with the turds was stomach churningly disgusting, pointless and again lacking in credibility. 3) The aftermath of the divorce was a mess and yet again unbelievable with Chris and Mickie handing each other over to other partners. Also, Tracey stated that she and her brothers wanted nothing to do with Jillian "until you become the woman you should be" yet the bed hopping continued, she bounced around from one husband to the next and was somehow invited to each of the siblings' weddings.

great story

Hmmm…I didn’t realize it was an incest story: “Jimmy, Jonny and Dad were balling at the end of the call.” Nothing all that novel here…and certainly not the best of this author’s work.

It was good. I could tell it was a style guy story. Your characters are usually a little more developed though. Always nice seeing a story from you regardless. Thought of one of your stories recently. I had dinner at Elephant Walk with my girlfriends.

I just realized that was a different story from another author who writes new england themed works. Lol.

4 stars, losing one for the revolting infantile turd revenge.

Ugh. Paint-by-numbers, read-it-a-thousand-times, juvenile wish fulfillment pabulum. Why even bother?

Okay, I realize the trip is actually for her affair, but except for that, why couldn't she send a representative? What would happen if she was ill, or in an accident?

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"Victory Secret?" Is that a typo?

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"I've never had three loads of cum dripping out of me before" - And she's not wearing panties?

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I realize that Tracy has her own family now, but if money is tight, I can't believe that her father wouldn't pay for her trip.

I don't know why some writers depict pregnant women drinking alcohol. It distracts from the rest of the story.

Gradation but well organized. Nice that the writer didn’t fill story with boiler plate background. Got right to the cheating and the family fists in was well written. Also one other point. Number of husbands cheater accumulated gave road map without blatant details of her selfish inability to keep relationships. Mickie and husband marriage would also have been too cliche’ Good job.

Engrossing. Captures the reader's attention from the start. Being a BTB type of reader, this was perfect.

Very well written with some great twists and turns along the way. Hope to read more of you in the future.

Good story until the divorce. Did Keven know Chris had been banging Mickie for a while. Jan was a nobody and ends up marrying Chris knowing her sister banged the hell out of him. No, that's just bad juju. The additional husbands was a nice touch though.

So what exactly is the downside of serial husbands? Honestly you boys really should check your tiny male egos at the door. Men get fucked in divorces, I can not think of a single woman who has not built a fortune from them. I can think of one who did so well she became a very wealthy woman, of course she was careful in her choices, and buried two. But as a wise woman once said, "men should like Kleenex: soft, strong and disposable".

Haha.

Jillian is the true winner in this one

Imagine getting half the finances of each 4 husbands.

Who says cheating doesn't pay?

There is not one of the 4 husbands had the guts to burn the whore. All wimps.

I just didn't understand - Chris, Jen, Miki and Keven have polyamory or swinging?

I liked it

Anon, Chris got it on with Mickie for a while, then Mickie married Kevin and Jam married Chris. They were sequentially monogamous.

A great story, SG.

The down and dirty on Ted's aftermath would have been nice! Thanks for the story!

Loved the way you rolled the story out. Thanks for the effort. Slick742 *****

Not much; perhaps #2. Not because of the good basic plot, but because of the vile vocabulary of all but Kevin and Mickie, and the disgusting picture of Chris's excrement, deliberately piled up to disgust Jillian. Not much style from the Style Guy!

A classic LW story.

I'm fond of those.

Add to that the talented writing of the Style Guy

and that sums up to top ratings from me.

@mac-Lapu

Sweetie1 (Jill) did NOT get the practice! Her Dad was phasing out, but he was reported to have changed his mind upon finding out her cheating! Hubby1 abided by the pre-nupt they had prepared pre-marriage.

Pretty good take on the ‘old convention spouse’ game.

SO he gave his {now ex-} wife an STD?

Jillian is lucky that she insisted he wrap it up because she didn't want to have his kid - it probably saved her from syphilis, gonorrhea or clamydia

Great story!!! Well done!!!

As always…just great.

There really needs to be a better synonym for ‘slut’, because the word gets so overused in LW.

Well done, good story. Not sure what the full toilet added to it.

Story was going well until the ending. Should've let Chris and Mickie get together. 3*

Yeah, I can see where this would appeal to a certain faction of LW readers but the bit about not flushing the toilet is the most sophomoric and childish reaction I can think of. The story is also packed with cliches and not that well written. The constant use of all the name calling, especially by the daughter, is ridiculous, and with the exception of some tears, there are no emotions shown by anyone.

Excellent story ruined by a completely unrealistic ending.

What is there that makes a writer nuke a really, really good story like this with an ending like this. The first part of this story ranks right up there with the best LW stories posted. The ending is a toilet bowl full of crap like the bowl in the story. Stinking up the whole place. We know there is a Martian Slut Ray that effects wives but can there be a Martian Disney Dumb Ending ray that effects writers?? That's the only logical explanation for endings like this one that has become common place in LW. The odds of ending like this in real life is just a little better than winning the lottery so why oh why do so many writers do this to their stories?? This story had the potential to be one of the greats with a better realistic ending.

When author wrote that "Tracy continued, "Please order me a glass of wine," it was apparent that author probably never had a family. Seven-month pregnant mothers do not drink any alcohol, or at least not someone portrayed as Tracy. The rest of the story was too simple without any explanation for Jillian's conduct, and then the STD was too contrived. Author had written better stories.

Good swift burn.

The emotions were well written especially for Tracy

Interesting take on an all too familiar theme. The scat references had nothing to with the story and made me dock points from what could have been a great story. This is disappointing, I'm used to reading better from you.

Sorry but 1* for the fairytale cut and paste cheating wife story. Hate to break it to all you LDM’s jacking yourselves off to this steaming pile, but the cheating wife and the scum husband would recoup every dime they would lose in the alienation of affection lawsuits with the money they would win in their invasion of privacy lawsuits against the the cheated on husband and wife. They have the same legal expectation of privacy even in a hotel room as their own home. They could also sue the hotel and the PI firm for the same. The truth is they would probably end up with a lot more money than their spouses! This is true in North Carolina, look it up. In fact it’s happened. I hope I didn’t interrupt your little masturbating session with some facts of life.

In the end, did Jillian get the insurance business?

Please, enough with these men "balling their eyes out"!! That means they are playing a sport that requires a ball. If they are sad and crying hard, then they are "Bawling". Sort of like a calf bawling for its mother. They bawl, but never ball. You've used balling in previous stories, (I do enjoy your imagination) but just like my girlfriend informs me when I text or email her, (embarrassing) no one likes to make easy to correct mistakes. It seems to be a word that several other LW writers have trouble with. Maybe you can get the ball rolling on bawling.

@sbrooks103xabout 3 hours ago

Okay, I realize the trip is actually for her affair, but except for that, why couldn't she send a representative? What would happen if she was ill, or in an accident? -

If you try real hard I'm sure you can come up with something that will satisfy your curiosity.

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"Victory Secret?" Is that a typo? -

Pretty obvious isn't it!0

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"I've never had three loads of cum dripping out of me before" - And she's not wearing panties? -

You do catch on quick at times.

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I realize that Tracy has her own family now, but if money is tight, I can't believe that her father wouldn't pay for her trip. -

I'm sure he did, he just seems to be like type of guy.

Good of a story as it gets.

Great story Mr Guy. Great use of NC’s alienation of affection laws to bust the cheater’s asses and assets. The A of A isn’t used very often, but it’s there and it works. Just ask Fletcher Cox, wife stealing DT of the Philadelphia Iggles.

Alien affection lawsuit gone where. . This story played to death.

The video from the hotel room involved commission of a felony by the PI and by the husband (hiring somebody to commit a crime is a crime in itself - and surreptitious video taping where one has a reasonable expectation of privacy is a felony just about everywhere - including DC or Virginia, wherever it was done

The video couldn't be used in the divorce case, either. The PI and the hotel chain would be liable for big bucks, as would hubby. Ted certainly could use these this criminal activities to defend an alienation of affections suit.

That would be a great fact situation for a question on a law school exam. I can assure you that hubby will lose bigger than anyone else - disbarred, among other things.

The ending was rushed; it took a lot more time than it was worth (nil, nada ... you get the idea) to try to sort it out

When the author paints the whore wife with such monstrous and despicable character, doesn't it beg the question of how the husband could be deceived for so long? The whore was arrogant, selfish, held her husband in complete contempt and disrespect, and yet she was supposedly a "good" mother and a successfully clandestine wife? Makes it appear to be a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde sort of personality switching story, which doesn't make sense lacking the science fiction magic potion.

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The other plot fault is that the cuck husband didn't want to share the fuck photos with his kids, so he made his daughter go to the trouble and expense of obtaining her own photos of her mother taking the asshole's cock up he poop chute? So what was the point?

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Anyway, the stupid cuck got what he married, so he got what he deserved. And why would the children want anything to do with this faithless serial divorce machine of a mother? Would they want that sort of corrupt influence anywhere near their families?

Thoughtful. Original. Great dialogue. Honest emotions. Loved it.

Ed

Good story, 4/5

Good story, nice twist with Tracy confronting Jillian in restaurant and the serving. 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

weird ending, like you took every LW trope, tossed them into a blender, and poured out a random collection of ways to tie up loose ends. Left me cold at the end. Unmoved, no emotion other than.. well... that was weird.

Nitpicking: Ted passed his STD to his wife but not to his lover? They had unprotected sex regularly (as Tracy prided herself).

Nevertheless 5⭐,

Decent effort, but as others have already mentioned, to many loose ends at the end.

The story was nearly perfect, except for Tracy's over-the-top approach. Better than the pregnant, hormonal, wailing banshee would've been the quietly smoldering, angry, and classy outraged daughter. Strength born of righteous indignation destroys more assuredly than angry, expletive-filled taunts. Great story, and you used dialogue to show and illustrate your points to the reader. The best example was the fact that the insurance company built its training center in North Carolina, where AoA lawsuits are still allowed.

Am I the only one who grows weary of LW betrayed males who cry (bawl in this case), puke on cue, run away, delete text messages and voicemail (Who knows what incriminating thing the cheater will declare or admit to in a text/VM?) and get drunk fallin' down, blind, weeping drunk (always on proudly declared designer spirits)? This was a great story, with minimal silliness and maximum readability.

Way too much. People don't just fall into two categories, the black hats and the white hats.

Why was a pregnant woman drinking wine, in this day and age?

Decent effort, for sure. But c'mon... every man knows, a husband never wins in a divorce. The courts ensure he loses bigly. I guess this IS a work of fiction. 4 stars.

If Jillian was a motorcycle, she'd be a HORELY-Davidson. Must be all of her other husbands found out she's a slut, and that's why she had so many more husbands. Too bad she didn't get an incurable disease...

vanye

The answer to your question is that some women do. Usually as in the instance here is is only a few sips. But in clutures where wine drinking is the norm at meals it may well be a whole glass.

I'm not concerned about the rights or wrongs, just know that some women do.

I gave it a “5”. My only thought here is, WHY do so many wives cheat and get caught, then refuse to give the husband a divorce? You do the crime, you do the time...

okay but too many marriages for Jill, LOL

If you have proof of betrayal, why hide it? There’s too many stories where the MC won’t show his children what their mother did, or even tell them. Do they think they are being noble or kind? It’s not noble or kind to hide the truth.

I won’t be questioned. If I tell you something, it’s the truth. If you don’t believe me, I’ll prove it to you, but our relationship is over. The daughter basically called her father a liar. He should have disowned her for it!

ZK

Totally wrong ending ... the real ending had him going to a gym where he discovered he was gay and that was why he'd been emotionally distant from his wife for the past 10 years and why she'd been forced to find comfort in the arms of a real man.

The perfect ending would be for Jilly to spend her life without any contact with her ex-husband or her children. As she got older she was found in a crack house dead with a large needle in her arm. Her father's firm at the time was being led by her husband and his son.

Why do you And many other authors let stand the cliche???

She was a slut But a good mother!!?

Showing lying for years okay as long as you don't get caught and then downplaying the lies and breaking vows and stealing time from family . Mentally and emotionally distanced from family while with other cheater and also while planning your get togethers etc

It started well with the daughter ripping the mother and lover boi several new ones. FYI: It is Bawling not Balling.

Then it dropped after reading how father and sons had a crying jag. Real men don't cry over cheating slut wifes/mothers.

Then it fell apart even more with the weak ending.

Jillian sounds like my second ex-wife, who has had 5 marriages & 2 live ins.

Good riddance to the slut Jillian

WOW! Seriously slutty bitch. Loved the fact that her daughter confronted her at dinner with her lover.

Loved the title. Absolutely loved last 2 paragraphs. Funny. Thanks.

Four stars. Seven month pregnant Tracey should not have drunk any of the wine in that glass.

JPB

Oh so to the point, nice hard hitting pay back, a nice litter twist to the end.

Still should have put her in the trunk...

G

2 stars, which's a crime. Should've been more. But you cut or eliminated words, switched from past to present tense in the same sentence, & even misspelled some words' sometimes I had to read again to figure out what you're saying. I stopped about 2/3 of page 1 as I couldn't continue without risking a migraine. You desperately need a proof reader. Moreso, it's obvious you never read your story before posting. Bob

Agreeing with the anon below me, writing needs improvement. Commas not where needed, pur in where not, words cut out. I thought StyleGuy's a better writer than that.

The movement between the double date & marriage went light speed = rushed. Could've spent a bit more time on it, especially with him & Jan. However, the line at the counsellor's office "We make great kids... but...." was classic, & maybe the best part of this story.

After getting his evidence, he waited a bit too long to have serve the divorce and other papers. Why that need and eventually the play of faking sex? In her confrontation, not sure that his daughter should've had that wine while pregnant. It leads to the belief that she, even moderately, drinks during that time.

Also enjoyed but I again felt things went too fast (no talk between him and his ex at all?) was that she had a new husband for each year or so. HA!! But no explanation.

2** for this story. The small parts that were liked doesn't come close to overcoming or neutralizing the failed parts. gr

Story was great up until the cuck told everyone about his small penis and inability to satisfy any woman ... yeah that's right, he started to cry about alienation of affection lawsuits like some 18th C slave owner.

Being a good wife and mother are two separate things. No one criticises the dad for wasting his weekends drooling over men passing an out of shap ball around a field. Or the time and money spent going to watch them live, often while trying to indoctrinate his kids into this perverse lifestyle of unrequited homosexual love for manchilds. Or fishing or perhaps worst of all rebuilding lame old cars from his past. No, no one generally equates that with cheating, but aside from the sex aspect it bloody well is.

anon feminazi shitstain from 19 days blames the man for the bitch cheating can fuck off. jillian is a vile woman that cheated for years and thats on her. small penis because jillian cheated? is the dumbest thing ive heard, big dicks get cheated on too. and alienation of affection lawsuit is a good way to get paid for having a whore for a wife, and remember her lovers wife filed too for divorce and alienation of affection lawsuit so is she a cuck from 18th C slave owner that told everyone she cant satisfy her man?

Best story on lirotica.

Everyone got what they deserved. Our faithful man got to find his true love and marry her. The unfaithful woman cant keep a man satisfied and is on her fourth marriage.

Well paced. The "cheated ons" didn't get ruined forever. There was a upbeat ending for those that deserved it. 5*

A pregnant woman is drinking.

He's going to financially ruin a man who has little children.

Other than that, it was a run of the mill loving wives story.

One of my favorites. Perfect bitch roast.

The list of husbands, right at the end, was perfect. Nice job.

It’s always so weird that a lot of LW writers do a last minute who-wil-be-the-next-wife substitution, usually with someone less desirable than the current girlfriend.

Freaking weird.

Damn. I love the stoicism you wrote into his character for the confrontation.

No gnashing of teeth, no emotional fragility at all.

He just destroyed her with direct observation and truth.

The way a real man should handle it.

Just in case HighBrow hasn't read this story, I'll relay his ubiquitous term...

Femdom Agitprop.

And I'll preemptively reply.

Bullshit.

Haha.

Anony said "A pregnant woman is drinking"

Under the circumstances... yup.

One glass of wine is not going to result in poor birth weight in a 7th month of pregnancy

And he didn't ruin the financial future of the asshole's children, they'll be fine, idiot. Besides that, he didn't ruin his financial future at all. The asshole did that himself. He got whatever he had coming to him.

And anyway, don't forget who informed hubby. I don't think hubby would have made the slightest difference to the asshole's outcomes at all... At all.

Dear anony, I think you're projecting your own ethical leanings in your comment.

Any other misguided ideas you can blame on the betrayed hubby?

With your perspective, you wouldn't know a great story if it kicked you in your gender reassignment.

Don't understand some of the comments.This was just a run of the mill mundane story.