All Comments on 'Evan's Arabic Princess'

Hope you continue this.

Great flow and dialogue. The author must be one of us Americans...severely challenged geographically. "Persian" and "Arabic" are not only two different ethnic groups but also two different linguistic and cultural traditions that are mutually antagonistic.

To be honest, I was expecting appalling trash when I saw Arabic in the title and Persian in the summary, and I only clicked on it to make fun of it. But it's quite well written and sexy, though her Frenchness and Arabness (Arab or Lebanese, not Arabic) aren't well enough drawn to be believable; they should have been emphasized less.

I appreciate the comments from Anonymous in England and the USA. I'm a little confused at England's comment, perhaps someone could clear up how I can better describe a character by emphasizing their characteristics less? Particularly in an interracial story where the contrast is all part of the fun.

Ah Americans, you aren’t the only nation with a naïve ignorance of other cultures. I’m Canadian and the character of Elizabeth (not entirely made up) was Lebanese. Any constructive advice on creating a more accurate and believable portrayal would be appreciated as I do intend to continue the story.

Most people would call me a WASP and I wouldn’t correct them. I’m actually of Anglo-Norman decent, which is quite different if you know anything of European history, but I digress. I don’t claim to be an expert on Middle Eastern cultural and ethnic distinctions, so by all means fire me off an email!

Cheers.

Liked your story very much. I have been married to a Middle Eastern women for nearly 25 years. So know the impact large brown eyes, plum coloured nipples and lustrous wheatish skin can have !! My wife is Persian and yes there is a difference between people of Arab and Persian decent - but physically I don't think there is a great deal ! I have had a "taste" of both.

As a aside if you are of Anglo-Norman descent your are more than likely a WASP. The Normans were descendatnts of the Danes/Vikings who settled in Normandy in the 9th Century. By the 11th Century they had become "Frankified". In 1066 William the Conqueror of Normandy defeated Harold Godwinsson, a Saxon, and England became part of Normandy. French rather than English became the official language for the next c.200 years.

WASM - White Anglo-Saxon Muslim - Western Australia

WASM, as much as I appreciate the kiddie “pop-up book” history lesson, that’s not really what I was asking for. I have an entire bookshelf full of information on the history of MY ancestors (who high tailed it to Scotland in the early 12th century and intermarried more with the Irish on the west coast than the Saxons in the south, thanks).

What this white boy needs is a lesson on Middle Eastern ethnic nuances as said bookshelf ends its references to Persians when describing victims of Alexander the homicidal megalomaniac. I can assure readers I’m quite literate and would prefer some constructive criticism to sarcastic snippets that do nothing to help improve my stories.

that the writing was rather good. :-) On the ethnic/history lesson, I couldn't comment. The sex was pretty hot. I can comment on one thing: WASM should know, as I assume English is his primary language, that the singular female descriptive noun is woMAN not WoMEN. You can't have "a women" or many woman" :-) It's "a woman".

And I liked the barb about the pop-up book history lesson. Where can I get one of those?

I quess I would be WRIAC -- White/Red Indian Anglican Christian. :-) I used red indian instead of Native American in deference to all you English types. :-)

Cheers

C

In my mind, the story is really well written: the build-up of the characters is really good, the role of the young guy absolutely credible, and the descriptive characteristics of the woman as well. Definitely not overdone in my opinion!

Persia (= old Iran) is different from Arabia. Arabia does only demarcate the Arabic language as a common denominator -- nothing else. Neither is Middle East (ME) or any other geographic term strictly defined. Some do not even place Lebanon into the ME, they say it is the Near East. I am using the terms with my own definitions, but do not mix up Iran with anything Arab. The name battle for Arabian or Persian Gulf still is on today.

One structural comment: while describing Elizabeth in the beginning strictly from Evan's perspective, at one stage you are getting into her background from the omnipresent speakes point of view -- kind of rough change in my mind.

Anyway, I loved it, keep on writing, 100% for you!

alphata

Very hot and cool. Keep up the good work.

Pretty Hot. As a few people have pointed out though; Arab = Arabic, Persian = Iranian. Please try to be considerate of people's heritage. Just as Canadians and Australians do not like to be called Americans and Englishmen, Japanese do not wish to be called Chinese, etc, etc, so too do Middle Eastern people not want to be mistaken for each other.