Finding Mom Ch. 03

For the next couple of days I was completely lost, in a constant daze. I knew I had screwed up but I never dreamed that it would come to this, been cut out of the family. Lucy spent all her time trying to cheer me up but if I was honest I was finding her more and more annoying until I finally told her it was over. I knew I was cold and I was taking it out on her but I didn't care, my life was a mess.

By the third night my feelings had turned to bitterness and resentment. How could my Dad just kick me out like that? I knew he would be angry when he found out but I never envisaged him disowning me. As for my mom, well she wasn't innocent either, she had no idea who I was yet she was happy parading herself on cam. My phone rang out and I looked down to see my Dad was calling me. All emotions suddenly fled leaving me in a cold sweat. I knew things had to be explained and resolved but now that moment was here my mind was a blank. I was visibly shaking as I picked up, barely able to keep the tremor from my voice.

"Hello."

"Mark, are you okay?" His voice seemed cold and the question was not really a question merely formality. "We need to talk." I wanted the ground to swallow me up there and then.

"I know."

"I take it you have spoken to your mother?"

"Yes and before you say anything I am really sorry..."

"What are you apologising for? It was my decision." I was suddenly very confused, somewhere our lines were crossed.

"What do you mean?"

"You know I love your mother, I really do but not like a wife anymore."

"Dad I'm confused."

"She told you I had moved out, right?" I was in shock and tried to process this new information. Things started to make a little sense but I did not want to jump to any hasty conclusions.

"I never knew it had got that bad."

"That why I haven't been at home so much of late. I'm sorry son."

"So is there someone else?" The silence at the other end said it all. "Who is it?" After another long pause he said,

"Someone I met on business." It was my turn to be angry and days of emotion spilled out.

"You are a fucking disgrace Dad, you have a wife and son that love you but you can't keep it in your trousers can you. Lets be honest she isn't the first is she?" Again silence "Well is she?" This time the raw anger I felt showed through. For a minute I thought he must have hung up then I heard a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry; I've made a mess of everything again." The tears were clearly audible down the phone. "I'm sorry son, I will leave you alone." This time it was my turn to pause and take stock of the situation. He had screwed up and he knew it, he had called me probably dreading this very reaction yet just a few moments ago I had felt the very same but I would never have had the balls to make that call.

"I love you Dad but yes you have fucked up." I was now calmer, probably calmer than I had felt in weeks. "So what happened?"

With that he went on to tell me about how things were with me and my mom and how he couldn't resist flirting with other women. As he went on I realised how much a like we were, sharing many similar traits. When he told me that he found my mother was no longer adventurous enough for him I held my tongue. We shared a few tears as we promised we would stay in touch and if this latest woman was to be the real deal and then maybe, one day I might even go and meet her as well, though I doubted that would ever happen.

When I put the phone down I sat in my room, dumbfounded by what had transpired and then I realised that when Elizabeth had called me she must have just been told by my Dad. No wonder she had acted so oddly, she must have been devastated by this latest news on top of everything else. She had always told my alias how lonely she felt but was lucky to have such a loving husband and son but now it was all gone and this was the realization of her nightmares. I made a decision then to pack up my car and drove home during the night.

When I finally left the motorway, just a couple of miles from home I realised I had no plan. I had no idea how she was going to react, whether she would let me enter the house or even talk to me. My motives were purely that of a concerned son, nothing more though I imagine there will be doubters out there. In such a situation there was nothing but raw emotion and a need to ensure she was safe.

As I pulled up to the house it was just gone 1am. The living room light was still visible through the drawn curtains. As I walked up the drive I hesitated outside the door, still unsure as to what I would say. I rang the bell ready for a confrontation.

"Who is it?" I heard in a croaky voice.

"Mark." I stood there not knowing whether to say more like trying to explain myself or just beg forgiveness. As it happened I didn't have to do anything. I heard the door unlock and it swung open to reveal a teary eyed, mother who just flung her arms around me before breaking down with her head against my shoulder.

I gently ushered her back into the lounge shutting the door behind me and I sat us down on the couch where she continued to cry. After a few minutes I could hear her trying to talk but the tears took the words before they could properly form. I just carried on hugging her and slowly her breathing became less heavy and the sobs became less teary. Finally she looked up to me, her eyes red from all the crying, her hair dishevelled and no make up yet she still looked beautiful.

"I thought I told you I didn't want to see you again," she managed trying to force a smile.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I was a little angry but not for myself but because I knew she needed me.

"I didn't want to come between you and your father, besides with everything that has happened I didn't know how to react." She shivered as she chocked back another bout of tears.

"Hold on." I said sternly and with that I rushed upstairs and grabbed the duvet out of my room and bought it down to her. "Right then, want a cuppa?"

"I can do it," she said as she tried to get up but I gently but firmly pushed her back down and put the duvet around her.

"I'll be back in a minute." I went into the kitchen and made two mugs of tea. As I bought them in she wiped her eyes on a tissue.

"Sorry, I look a mess."

"You look good to me," before realising the words had slipped out. Without intention I had bought up the taboo subject between us. I felt awkward and obviously so did she.

"Look, you know I love you but I am, or was, your mother," she said by way of explanation.

"I'm sorry, I meant nothing by that honest, I'm only here because whatever you think of me I still care about you," and then I quickly added "as a son" so there was no misunderstanding. She suppressed a laugh and so did I realizing that no matter what I said something could be read into it. "I think I should shut up." I finally said "before I make an even bigger hole." This time she did laugh and snuggled up to my arm.

"I'm glad you are here."

"You are my family, I will always be here."

We chatted until 3am as she gave me her side of the story about Dad and we even discussed some of our issues. This was mainly me been apologetic whilst she told me about family loyalties almost adding further guilt to my already large burden, until she finally fell asleep on the couch. I left her there in my duvet whilst I went up to my old room and slept in a coat I had brought with me.

The next day I awoke to the smell of breakfast cooking and came downstairs to what on the outside looked like my mother being her old self. Stood by the cooker splashing fat over the cooking eggs I couldn't help but notice the tightness of her skirt around her butt. Immediately I scolded myself for even briefly considering the possibility after everything that had gone on. She looked around and smiled.

"Would you like orange juice?"

"I can get it."

"No you don't just sit down there." She nodded her head towards the dining table. "I will bring it over in a minute." I did as I was ordered and went to sit down. A few minutes later my mom joined me and we sat to eat a cooked breakfast.

"So what is your plan?" She asked as I finished off my final bit of toast

"What do you mean?"

"Well how long are you here for?" I laughed as I looked at her serious face.

"Why, are you trying to get rid of me already?" She smiled but a sadness remained in her eyes.

"No of course not but I don't want you to miss out on your studies because of me?"

"Don't be daft; I'm here as long as I need to be. Besides I have study leave." The last part was a lie but I didn't want her to needlessly worry and she never questioned it.

"What about Lucy?"

"What about her?"

"Does she know you are here?"

"No we split up."

"Why?"

"I'm just not ready to get serious with her; I just don't have the same feelings for her that she shows me."

"I hope you were honest with her." I could see she was getting teary again. I guessed this line of questioning must have been provoking some of her own memories. I smiled at her sadly.

"A little too honest I think."

"It is better than living a lie." With that she stood up and took the dishes to the sink. I could see her back shaking as she started crying once more. I stood up and gave her a hug.

"What do you want to do today?" I asked trying to sound enthusiastic. She just shook her head as she wiped the tears. "C'mon let go out I bet you have been locked up in here for days." The crying had stopped and I could see the briefest of pauses as she thought about the idea. "Get your coat we can go shopping, my treat."

Before she could protest I helped her put her jacket on and bundled her out of the door and into the car.

We spent most of the morning walking around women's clothes stores and although I was completely bored out of my mind I could see she was almost happy to be out without being stuck at home, alone with just her own thoughts. We stopped in a coffee shop and I was relieved to be sat down though I was unsure if I could continue again after this rest.

"You seen anything you like?" I asked as so far we had purchased nothing.

"No, not really."

"What do you mean not really?" I mocked a stern attitude "Don't make me walk around these shops all day for nothing." She laughed and her eyes lit up. Despite myself all the old feeling came rushing back.

"Well there was a dress I saw but I can't afford it. Especially now with your Dad gone..." Before she could go down that path I quickly brought her back to thoughts about the dress.

"I told you I will get it."

"No Mark."

"What shop was it?" She pointed as it was just visible from where we sat. "Even better, I get a staff discount there." I lied but it was worth it to see the smile on her face.

"No Mark, you can't it is too much." Despite the protest we both knew we were going to buy it. We finished our drinks and headed to the store. She went over to the rail and picked out a black dress, similar to the one she already owned but I was not going to say anything. She held it by the hanger as she draped it across her.

"Do you like it?"

"Looks good," was all I managed without making it blatantly obvious how sexy I thought she would look in it.

"I need to try it on."

"Sure, I'll wait." I grabbed a seat as she disappeared into the changing room. After a few minutes I heard her voice behind me

"How does it look?" I turned to see her stood there in a dress that once more hugged her curves. If possible it was shorter than her other black dress though it was hard to judge since she did not have any shoes on. She gave a twirl before returning to face me. "Well?"

"You look beautiful." Again I felt an awkward silence but she did not seem to notice and she happily went back into the changing room.

When she came out I took the dress up to the till whilst she was busy looking at handbags and paid the full cash price. All the way home we talked, not once mentioning my father or anything that felt awkward between us. We even stopped off for a takeout so neither of us had to cook. Once we got home I was glad to sit down and eat before dozing off on the couch.

The next few days were like that. I tried to keep her occupied by going out for drives to old manor houses and their gardens or parking up somewhere with a picnic and going for walks. She seemed happier although on the odd occasional she would still break down after some unintentional reminder. We were starting to regain the closeness we had previousl6y shared but as we did I could also feel the old feeling creeping back in and I desperately kept these feelings suppressed. I was actually enjoying myself in her company and had no intention of hurting her again.

I must have been home for nearly two weeks. I had already received a phone call from my university asking why I had stopped attending class. I explained that my parents were going through a separation and that there were a lot of issues. While they were sympathetic they said if I was off much longer I would be unable to catch up on my work and I would be off the course. Then one night as we sat there watching TV Elizabeth turned to me and said

"Mark, you need to go back to University." I looked up a little worried as to why this sudden turn of events.

"Not until I know you are okay." She leant forward and kissed my forehead.

"You have no idea how pleased I was when you came home on that first night. I had already considered some stupid things and then you showed up." Her eyes had become puffy as she controlled her emotions.

"That's why I'm here." She wrapped her arms tightly around me. Then she pulled back and looked directly at me. For a second we both sensed something had passed between us. I could tell in her eyes she had noticed it too but before I could say another word she said

"Tomorrow we will go out for dinner and this time I am buying and then promise me you will go back to university." I knew I had no choice but to accept.

"On one condition," she looked unsure but nodded her head in agreement. "As long as you promise me everything is okay and you will do nothing stupid." She smiled but nodded her head. It was my turn to get serious and I held her hand as I said what needed to be said. "I also need to know if everything is okay between us. I need us to be able to talk without worrying about what I have done." Once more she pulled me close, before kissing my cheek.

"Everything is more than okay between us there is no need to worry. You have helped me more than you know." With that we both hugged and I felt truly happy.

The next night I showered and got ready in my room. As I came out there was my mom also leaving her room. She was wearing the dress I had bought her. Her legs were extenuated by the stilettos she was wearing and the dark nylons instantly took me back to the pictures I had on my laptop. The dress hugged her hips and thighs and her breast were large in proportion to her frame. The bra had forced plenty of cleavage to be put on show and a golden necklace highlighted further the bosom on show. She wore matching earrings and her hair was tied up. Her makeup left her with seemingly flawless skin and protruding lips. My mouth must have been hanging open as she just turned away almost bashfully as she gave a small twirl.

"I take it you approve." I was unable to speak as any words that I may have let slip would have revealed the passion I currently felt for this woman.

I ordered a taxi and even the driver did a double take as my mom got into the car. The leather seats of the cab caused the already short skirt to ride up so just a touch a stocking top could be seen. Unable to help myself I kept glancing down to catch a glimpse but each time I would divert my attention upwards as the last thing I wanted was to make my mom uncomfortable.

We got to the restaurant and we were shown to the table we reserved.

"Can I get you drinks?" asked the waiter.

"I'll have a pint of lager please." The waiter then turned to Elizabeth.

"Just a mineral water for me please." With that the waiter disappeared leaving us to browse the menu.

"A mineral water?" I feigned shock

"Well I don't want any excuses if anything happens." I was unsure what to make of that last statement and thought better of raising any questions in case it brought up some further, repressed memories from the last occasion we had gone out.

We ordered our food and chatted throughout the meal. It was nice to be seen with such an attractive woman that was drawing more than the occasional stare from some of the men around us. After we finished we retired to the bar area but even through the peer pressure I exerted she was stubbornly refusing to drink any alcohol. Despite myself I was gutted as I had seen how she had previously loosened up after a drink. I knew there would never be another repeat performance but I would have been able to ogle without being as obvious as when she was sober.

We sat on a small, square table, each on a side immediately next to each other. As we chatted she grabbed my hand and told me how glad she was we were talking once more. Strangely she never let go and her warm, delicate fingers felt fragile in my larger hands. She brought her hand down below the table, taking mine with her in a move that seemed very natural until it rested upon my thigh. Now her palm lay flat against my leg and my hand covered hers. She gently squeezed as she made a joke sending blood pumping into my semi hardened member. I was desperately trying to stay focused to what she was saying but I could feel her hand roaming lightly. I even released my hold on her hand and raised it back onto the table so she didn't think I was been inappropriate but her hand stayed on my thigh. She leant forward in her intensity to make a point in the conversation and my eyes momentarily looked towards the cleavage that was clearly visible. I could see that the black bra had a tiny red bow in the middle. Her lips were just a small stretch away and I watched the lips move but was unable to comprehend the words they were saying. I thought her hand began to roam a little but I knew it was my imagination.

I made my excuses and went to the toilet where I splashed a little water onto my face. I was an idiot; despite everything I still had sexual feeling towards my mom. I had thought they had passed or more precisely I had learnt to control them yet here I was about to throw our relationship away. I recomposed myself and went back out to the smiling beauty at the table.

"Shall we go?"

"I think we should." I needed to get out of this environment; it was bringing out the worst in me. Tomorrow I would be back at university where I could do no more damage. The taxi rank was outside and with it still being relatively early there was no queue to speak of.

"Thank you for a lovely night," she said.

"No thank you, are you sure we can't go halves though?"

"No it's my treat. It's the least I owe you." With that she leaned forward to kiss me only she missed my cheek and it lingered on my lips. I felt like my lips were about to part on there own accord but I knew it would be completely inappropriate and by willpower alone I did not respond. She never even paused as she sat back allowing her dress to ride up allowing a clearer view of the tops of her stockings. She nonchalantly looked out the opposite window to mine and I took the opportunity to take in the vision before me. Then her hand reached over to rest on my thigh.

This time I watched as her hand did indeed begin to explore my thigh, as her hand gave small gyrating circles the firmness increased. I was shocked, unable to think straight, maybe she was unaware of what she was doing or the affect it was having on me. I looked up to see her looking at me. She could tell I was confused and took my hand before resting it on her stocking clad thigh. She smiled sweetly at me but she never said a word, she just increased the circling motion of her hand so she was now brushing against my crotch area which instantly caused my member to harden. In turn I began to run my hand over her thigh. As I moved it further up I could see her becoming a bit more restless and the closer to her inner thigh I became the more I felt her hand pressure increase on my leg.