by gauchecritic
could be a good work if you picked up the sex in it. i mean its got potintal if you are going to make further chapters. i for one would like to see if hes going to get laid by either of them cousins of his or if theres going to be any sex involved at all if not i'd have to say move the story to non erotic.......
Finally--a farm incest story that's not about fucking sheep. If this story doesn't win the Earth Day contest, then the readers are full of cow chips.
This reminded me of Laurie Lee's Cider with Rosie - an evocation of a past dream world that is so much more attractive than the mundane present. I loved it.
Just when I'm about to throw the thing down in confusion he comes up with an image or a phrase that just knocks me out and I have to keep reading. This story has plenty of those moments. If nothing else, don't miss the ending! (Now if only we could harness his power for the good of mankind... )
A story must work on 1 of 2 levels to be wonderful, it can either be well written and full of sex or well writen and hinting, and i must say that this story is one of the best examples of level two i have ever read. Kudos, gauchecritic you kept my interest and rival my fav. author, Gystex. Many people on this site may wish you to change this story to be more like level 1, though my plea is that you change not a thing.
A strange story, that could be a little more erotic, and just maybe a phrase or two more to explain what was going on. Just a simple phrase where his Uncle tells his wife to "distract him while I jank his nose back into place", would have been very useful.
Very interesting story, just strangely strange enough for a strange person like me. (Did that make sense?) Good luck!
Gauche, you ?write? like a ?Writer?. What you?ve done here cannot be taught or learned, to explain it would be academic. Your prose flows and reads like poetry, like the best literary reality. ?My imagination was filled with swaying breasts seen from uphill, young spring-healed cleavage open to my heightened gaze, even the promise of barely glimpsed, rose-red nipples, whilst my sight was filled meantime, and drawing closer, with swiftly sashaying buttocks, and strong running thighs.? That is real erotica?sumptuous language and phrasing wedded to its content, with humour and wit to boot. Please write a novel.
I'm beginning to enjoy, and not question, your own brand of gaucheness. You need getting used to, but then, you're good. :)
Your remarkable craft with words has few boundaries, never so finely illustrated as in this story.
Simple but powerful images create a rich sense of setting that carries the story like a leaf on a river. Humor surfaces wryly throughout, and the life described is as real as the clanking of the pails. The sex is delightful, farmyard-direct and yet sensual and amusing. Wonderful work, Gauche.
and competent mortar between. A small but stout edifice. My admiration, gauche.
Freakin brilliant,Gauche. Having grown up on a farm myself, this story stirs up lots memories. Every farm kid is tied to nature whether they want to be or not. You've captured so well the sexy and hilarious aspects of farm life and Eastern European heritage. -S.
it was very uhhhh interesting i read it 4 times and still don't get it sorry i'm sure you tried. thank's
Very very well written, but not exactly, shall I say, sex story material. Erotic? Yes, very, but the beautiful wording takes some of the sexyness from it. Its a very good, the best in fact, erotic story I've ever read, but a sex story to get the blood pumping this is not.
Should be labeled gibberish and poetry for those who understand gibberish. but I come from farm and we simplify things like this. goats only from my wildest aspect of animals if you have animals they don't like people watching them make out they are discreet. cows and other farm animals might showy but horses would be showy type. other than that. the story did not make sense. beginning your explaining the character as guy wanting to spend time with his family yet all I got was he lanky dude? no other description help to explained. He was going to go blind at job he hated? Well shouldn't there be option two? What is with the fucking names. I am sorry as woman I did not get hot at all. This story should considered not aspect not farmer story. Pigs sit in mud all day. Cows I am finding them boring as I think about them. I have stop reading this. THis no story but lame ass story.
no sex there for no incest there for wrong catagory this should be in the NONEROTIC area. if you insist on using foreign words use ( ) to tell the readers what they mean otherwise you just drive away readers and run down your score for the story. get a good editor and do a proper rewrite and finish it.
This sounds like someone trying to explain their drug induced hallucination. Made no sense to me.