All Comments on 'Law of the Heart: Consequential...Ch. 04'

and it was a satisfactory ending.

The earlier chapters would not have seemed so silly if you had just posted the whole lot at once. That way we could comment on the story as a whole, knowing for sure where you were going.

Posting in dribbles as you did leaves you open to all the valid criticisms you got at the end of each chapter.

Overall a good story and a good plot twist re the wife's behaviour. The only problem is you spoiled it by not posting the whole story.

PS: Did I mention you should have posted the whole story in one go?

I especially loved how Sally got her comeuppance, and the payback on Juan and Hector was also great. the one thing I wished is that the reason Sally did what she did was known. That's a big point in this story, and you failed to address completely.

I enjoyed this three part ending. But then, I love happy endings.

Hector is on shaky ground with his marriage but Juan receive only verbal abuse and needed an extra jab in the nuts. Sally was told off so maybe that was ok since she lost a friend and maybe a boyfriend.

But the main couple, Jake and Jill, has solidified their marriage and that is always good!

You did very good. You went to the middle of a story and made a good story out of it. Seems Sally learned a lot. Good revenge, tastefully done.

Job well done!

Problems in any relationship can be solved with communication and working the problems out. Your ending showed that and enjoyed the ending and thank HHT for starting something and allowing others to share his vision.

Capecodmercury, you were able to draw a great end to the story. Congratulations. HH, I am afraid that you are history in this one...

too many times preditory outsiders work on the individuals who make up a marriage. They generally go after the one who is weaker because of external strife. Often the other partner is in the middle of keeping things going on an even keel. I could go on and on, but think we all know where I'm heading because we've either personally experianced , or had a close friend or family member suffer from a similar situation. Thank goodness this is one family who makes it with things working out in the end and where the preditors get their comeuppence. Too bad Hector's wife got hurt, but she is better off knowing the tradgedy she's living in. Thank you, love the way you brought the plot together...with some more work this could make a good Hollywood production.

What a great ending to this story, you did a good job, no wimps. This story makes you think what is at stake when things go to far. marriage, friendships can be danaged. People can go to jail. Again great job

After reading this final episode, what struck me the most is that you have inauspiciously turned Jill, the supposedly loving mother and faithful wife into a brilliant deceiver

for not only duping her wimpy husband with her ridiculous story but also her friends as well.

In the end, she is the heroine. She got away with it.

Good idea for a prolonged storyline, do you agree?

In this version, I think Jill's reasoning for her actions is very questionable. She tends to blame Jake for her weaknesses and trusting in a dubious "friend" and blaming Sally also. She is supposed to be a successful lawyer, why the hell can't she "read" her husband?? And, as for Jake, he is more interested in selling his bullshit story to cover her behavior to his friends than dealing with the real issues in a weak marriage.......or is he trying to sell the story to himself??? So he doesn't think about the real reasons Jill was going to cheat on him and behave as a slut to his enemies in front of all their friends???

He should have a good night with Jill. Everyone else did. He caught her this time but there will certainly be other times when he isn't able or aware. If she performs that way after a few drinks, then that is her true uninhibited behavior.

capecodmercury, you salvaged the story and the marriage. It was tough because of the hole that the original story dug. I like this ending so much better.

Great job. Nicely tied up many of loose ends left by HH's first ending. I too hope there will be more. Perhaps the additional time in Miami can also look at more of what Sally did trying to provoke before the trip and more of Jill's feelings Before the trip?

Are YOU interested in writing more than one ending? I'd love to see it, though it would be a challenge to top this.

Regards.

Damn it I just love a good Revenge story.... Kudos this has been a good series....

Paul

hammer17_98@yahoo.com

except for the romantic this went too smoothly to resolution without really addressing whether Sally was really the ogre? Really now - just think about it.

We only have the words of a wife who saw a major problem in misunderstanding her thought to be wimpy husband. Sally still hasn't given her rendition has she. What really happened Thursday night? Why the side by the pool discussion with Sally as opposed to the everyone present direct confrontation with the twins and thier plaything wife (Jill couldn't control that though could she).

Suppose for a minute the side by the pool conversation went something like this "Sally if you ever want sex with me again let this fake fight between us happen now or my marriage is over and you will never be with me sexually again"! Plausible isn't it. Been going on since early college - Sally, Jill and the twins then, but only(?) Sally since. But Jill said to herself on the plane down, what a chance to stoke the old fires - then on his known arrival with his hanging back - to test the cuckolding / sharing theory on him without jepardizing her marriage if he watched and appeared to enjoy her being sexually with others. If he didn't as he didn't when coming in the room with Jill and Juan, then spin it and put the blame on her lover Sally who would take it rather than lose her. Juan and Jill could make up later with Hector as a bonus, especially if agreed upon before hand. This whole Sally leading and pushing Jill was not very believable from the start was it.

Spins on Twists! Or was that just as you planned author. If it were me - I would do so as I think you intended all along author. Very deep. Time will tell won't it.

In any case author, well conceived and delivered with skill given all the angles and complex settings you chose. A bit verbose but not excessively given the setting details and emotions you covered and justified (or sold?).

Thanks again Author - with high Regard

more contrived bullsh*t that does not meet the confines of the original story. She did cheat, and making it go away does no good. If you want to make up a happy story do it....don't take someone elses idea and completely change it so it has a happy ending. Life is real this is not,

I enjoyed this story, the author picked it up where it appeared Jill had cheated, but in fact hadn't. Yes at times the dialogue got a bit long, and took time to get to the key areas, but it did portray a near miss, and how a marriage may have been broken.

For a change it was nice to see that the wife had the backbone not to cheat, and that both had the guts to face those who conspired to get Jill to cheat, and to show that he had the backbone to face them down.

It also did a good job in showing how close it came to falling apart, had he left the reunion instead of confronting her, even when he thought he'd catch them in the act.

I'll look forward to more stories from the author.

It took a great deal of work to research the original story and marvelous creativity to make your version fit so well.

An excellent job!

You're a wonderful story teller and I am looking forward to reading more of your work.

cageytee

with this story. Too bad no one wanted to tell you how they really feel. How do I feel. Your the author and you went where you would. Personally I'm ambiguous my self 'cause I can't figure out whether she got away with one or not. Anyway it's a good story but that is all it is, a story. Ronnie W.

I thought this an excellent story in spite of a few misspellings only an ex-English teacher would spot. However, you left Sally's reason for the urgings up in the air. Was it possible she was pimping for the asshole, I've forgotten his name--Hector's brother?

I think you did a wonderful job on this, much better than the original...but u left a small loop hole that didn't get answered...why was the conversation between Sally and Jill so quiet that no one could hear...Then when Jill wanted you to hear her she made sure of it. I wonder where you will go from here, I hope you continue on with this sotry...I love happy endings but this one still doesn't seem to be finished because I am not so sure I totally believe Jill about NOT wanting to fuck Juan...I am not so sure that Sally is the total bad guy here either as Jill knows how to do a story because she is a lawyer and used Sally somewhat in her own little game.

Hopefully you continue on with this story but continue to have a happy ening!!!!

till trying to protect the whore of a wife.whore wife,wimp hubby.

Compared to your great story, HHT's ending 1 is simply bullshit.

After reading your comment to BDad's "Keeping the trophy", where you put your finger exactly on the "white" spots in his story, I suggest that you should specialize in writing aftermaths and sequels!!! Why not for HDK's "Eleanor Rigby"?

Waitin' for your next "chef d'oeuvre". Thanks!!

Bavarian

One of the better sequals to the original, but despite your skillful writing, Jake still comes across as a dummy and much of what Jill says is valid. What idiot would skulk around for a couple of days and watch his wife act like the class slut without taking some action Conversly ,Jill still comes across as a real slut playing around with Juan on his boat and on the dance floor.Whether she knew Jake was there or not doesn't make any difference. Married woman don't act iike sluts in their husbands absence. Her story was good, but not believable. 60 year old George

I have to admit that was much better the second time Jake should have done more to juan like trip him into the pool then walk away but the end was a tear jerker for Jill and Jake.

Pat Murray

Atlanta,Ga

the wife fuck up and the husband is a wimp.stop trying to say its' ok to fuck around.

Gosh, I don't know...but it all sounds generally filthy, like most lawyers are.

A baseball bat. A dark corner and some months in a nice hospital :) No wimpy burgers at all...

Jill excuses ring hollow. She acts like a whore and Jake forgives her. How appropriate for an author who write of conciliation at all costs. Jake is a wimp in waiting and Jill will be a slut in the future. Their actions will prove that.

Written well but so predictable. No wonder no one cares for fucking idiot lawyers. In reality, these two idiots deserve each other.

Real couples have misunderstandings, especially when their natural doubts are fueled by miscreant friends. An excellent story of how to change the perceptions of an audience from remembering a salacious incident to remembering an incident of misbehavior. In real life, you cannot use a baseball bat to assuage your anger. You'll end up a loser in the criminal justice system while your intended victim is free. A much better solution is presented here: threaten a lawyer with exposure of his participation in the felony of non-concensual sex. This is a real lifelong threat that will keep him in check much better than physical injury.

Could a brazen cheater and a lame wimp form a “united front” as the narrator states? I have not seen any of it.

As the story is told by one of the mildest, free of any spinal bones, “avengers” I have read in a long time, no such front could ever really exist. And his emotional revenge? He told the twins off! I mean, he gathered all his courage and all his anger, and he actually told them that it’s really not nice to seduce married women etc! And he even did it in public, so he might have even shamed them for a while, even if he felt badly and cried about doing that too…seriously, it’s in the story!

<P>

This was one of the most naïve effeminate male narrators I can remember ever reading here. His endless dialectics in effort to justify wife’s cheating (reminiscent of Bill Clinton’s “brilliant” legalisms in defending his own cheating) are as convincing as the past president. Only here the miserable husband has to mislead only himself, which he is all too willing to do anyways. Unfortunately,

some readers who look for evidence and any resemblance of logic, would find this exercise of self delusion pretty annoying. The author has to assume that most readers are capable of doing basic logical reasoning. You can’t prove something by begging the question. If the wife spent time alone with one of the seducers in her room, then her own uncorroborated ‘explanation’ can not be used as a proof to establish her credibility – the very issue we are questioning…<P>

But neediness defies logic, and the husband keeps coming with more and more damning facts just so that his wife could explain them all away for him… He accepts just about any explanation, no matter how awkward strange or nonsensical (including her putting the blame on HIM for her cheating), as long as he could keep telling himself that what he personally saw and heard – he actually DID NOT see or hear… <P>

At times I felt that the husband’s narrative was pathetic and desperate, at times it felt just funny (not in a good way); but than it grew more and more tiresome. As the saying goes: you can never overestimate the power of denial.

I kept reading this story with the impression that Jake would eventually figure out his wife cheated and the revenge would be on her. The end to this story ended up being totally unsatisfactory as the husband chooses to get revenge on the others in the story. But completely forgives his wife? Heck, he even blames what happened to his wife ... on Juan, Hector and Sally. None of those characters took the wedding vows with Jake and yet he chooses to get back at them for his wife's wanton behaviour. I don't like it ... and in the end I don't like Jill at all and Jake is certainly no heroic protagonist in this instance. Unfortnate, cause it had the makings of a good story. Would not surprise me one bit to see other writers take a crack at a different ending.

how many times is this story going to be changed?

....... bullshit ..........

jill is believed to be something that she is not. no extra days, pitch her ass and child and other things for him, against her

To like this story I read it very slowly and reread some parts. I am sorry to say I think this was one long boring ass story. Well written but boring as hell.

I hated the original story because basically the guy just watched his life fall apart without doing anything about it. I liked this version for the same reason I like Winterfrog's stories; no man with an ounce of self respect just sits around, and his wife (and the author) points this out here.

IMHO the only ending that would be better would be where the husband greeted Juan off the boat with five across the eye.

Before Jake was in Florida, Jill already exposed her breast to all the people on the boat while her husband was not there with them. What kind of excuse was that? I do not think I would ask a friend's wife to expose her breast whether my friend was there or not, even if the wife was my former classmate too. I think a punch on my face is more likely I would get.

She had the hot dance and hottub incidences in front of every friends, even thought she was aware Jake was around. Forget about she was trying to see if Jake had hidden motive, what about her own judgement? She has her own integrity to defend. She should stand up for herself if she felt what was prompt on her was inappropriate. She should have refused to continue because of her own self value, regardless of what Jake might want to see, or even if that was what Jake would like to see. After all she was married to one of the class and had a child. Would she or should she do it so publicly even if Jake had asked her to do it because Jake had this cuckolding fantasy?

She let Juan took her to the room, and closed the door herself while fully aware Jake was around. This was her consent to the infidelity or whatever the consequence can be, let's just assume Jake was outraged and left Florida at that point seeing her closing the door, and Juan just forced himself upon her. Yes, that would be a rape, but she had seriously and significantly contributed to it. Otherwise, she should have gave Juan a hug and said goodbye before opening the door right there and then. By letting Juan walked her to the room,inviting him in, and then close the door herself, she had clearly told the husband her view and decision of her part. What else happened inside the room really did not matter.

Okay, let's just say she wasn't sure if Jake had the cuckolding fantasy and she wanted to find out. But would she find out in their own privacy, like confronting him with a question, or she would like to find it out right in the middle of a class reunion? After all, cuckolding is nothing to be proud of. So why would she try to find out in the middle of a reunion with all former classmates around? They could bear the shame that all their frends looking down on both of them forever.

Regardless what excuses Jill had, Jake did not think these events through and bought her excuses hook, line and sinker. From the story, we can tell this was the first time they were not at the event together in a long while, and she had very serious indiscretions. Does this give Jake any comforts in trusting her? What about future events where she knew Jake would definitely not there with her like a out of town meeting? She could just blames on being drunk if she had no other excuses.

Jill has shown that she was definitely ready to step out of her marriage by her own actions on three separate events, the boating, the dancing and the hottubbing, all in one day.

Jake, WAKE THE FUCK UP. Go create an event where you flirt with a girl, go all the way until the last inch, and had Jill around to witness this. I bet she would have stepped forward with first 5 minutes. That would show how much she trusts in your faithness to yhe marriage.

You are a public defender. WAKE THE FUCK UP, Jake.

You took a shitty story and added a wimpy ending. Thank you for not posting recently. On the chance you still read these comments, please eat shit and die.

Probably my favorite version of this story. I still think they have a fucked up relationship. They both have issues and problems that they have never communicated to each other, the marriage needs some serious work. Obviously the wife's behaviour is inexcusable. The husband's is not much better, I can understand the train wreck feeling and wanting to know if the wife can be trusted or not, but in the end he could have gotten the same information by smacking around Juan as the they got off the boat then questioning the wife. He would have gotten the same answers in the end as he did by waiting. A well written story and better version than others I've read but still not perfect. Not a perfect situation I guess. And hell, it is fiction.

Like the other guy said, this version didn't get it at all.

None of the husband's self-stroking that prevails in many of these tales. However, it seems to me that a major flaw is the husband telling all who could hear that Jill had been jimmied by both brothers. Surely, Jill would not care to have this known to one and all as her husband carelessly discloses.

Cut your losses and ditch the bitch. It really is a cuckold wimp husband story whether actual intercourse occurred or not.

I really liked how you picked this story up and ran with it-

Very different approach than HHT and even though you both had them live happily ever after - sort of - this one was much more thoughtful and used a much deeper level of self analysis.

Nicely done - and this couple looks like it has a better chance to work it out long term heh -

You did a superb job with this story. Thanks...I loved reading it!

the Tale of Super Slut and Cuckboy springs his tiny dinky, men with actual wedding tackle would bust up ricky ricardo and divorce the whore - the contortions and rationalizations got stretched and broken beyond belief. A wannabe cuck looking forward to many creamy pies could swallow her load of horseshit but a man with one iota of self respect would make this right.

ok.....i gotta admit that i like this version FAR FAR better than the other. my wife and i are soulmates and true lifepartners. we communicate EVERYTHING.and it has kept us sooooo in love for the last 15yrs. and if something like this happened. wich i dont think would cuz ma wife thank gawd dont get stupid when she is drunk. but i will say that the characters in this story acted a lot like my wife and i would to fix things....we would work together and we would adopt a scorched earth policy faaaar more nasty than these 2 did! LOL we are smart and work together well...and i can see us in these 2 characters. so well written dude! its how we would have handled it.

BUT if she had cheated.....well lets just say i take ma vows VERY seriously....and i am VERY vindictive. i read revenge stories on here and other places and i read the comments all aghast that the author would go so far. i always laugh cuz i always know i would go MUCH farther and MUCH nastier! LOL

when it cums to drugs and alcohol and when the girl slaps the guy and stops shit....well ide be mad and we could maybe work it out after the revenge....cuz i understand how drugs and alcohol impair judgement. BUT even if high if actual sex(genital touching, oral, anal or vaginal) even if i wanted to forgive....im afraid i couldnt deal with it.

Wifey has all the balls in this marriage. How did she defend her behavior? Hubby doesn't react the way she thinks he should, so she is entitled to punish him by betraying their wedding vows? And then HE apologizes to her? I like Science Fiction. What planet is this?

it's just another WACC story with the a RAAC embedded.

This version truly sucks!

I like this version better, probably closer to the truth for their personality types than the other endings I have read but as always that is just my humble opinion!

And he better watch Jill, she seems to be easily manipulated and has the wrong outlook on marriage.

Yes,I know it is just a story.

bullshit!

The original story was so heart wrenching, that I find most of these alternate versions trying to eliminate the problem of cheating altogether. The real challenge is taking the story head on and trying to deal with the wife's unfaithfulness. I realize that such a task is difficult. How does one resolve or overcome such pain? Is it possible to somehow bring them to reconciliation? I don't even think the original author was able to successfully do it. However, eliminating the problem of adultery entirely by inventing a unbelievable "misunderstanding" sidesteps the challenge. To which I have to ask, what's the point? Why do it?

You may have resolved your own personal pain that led you to cathartically write this ending, but you didn't do it in a way that was true to the original. And that means the catharsis is short lived. The original still disturbs me, and I still hate Jill for what she did.

very good writing getting to the very heart of relationship issues!

bull manure

1*

I liked your take on it! I would have like to see Jake a little more "in your face"with Juan to show ownership of Jill, but other than the original ending, this is my favorite!

!

In 1982, Conan the Barbarian was made. It had bloody violence, nudity, sex witches, orgies, cannibalism, red hot women being beheaded. A bit trite, but graphic and memorable with action, high drama, sex and consequences.

This is like if Disney tried to make that Conan PG-13. The sword has no edge. Neither does the story.

There is NO WAY I would ever want to hire someone as gullible as Jill as my lawyer.

Started OK....then went to total lameness. No husband would have put up with this woman's bullshit. To me,it sounded like she was testing the waters for hubbies approval for her cucking him. And as for her "Friend" leading her astray...Is his wife like RainWoman or some such? Nobody could possibly be THAT stupid!

actually being worse than the original.

The writer obviously spent some time writing this story. He did try and be logical and thoughtful through the entire plot. For that he gets 2 stars. Unfortunately is just isn't believable. The wife went over and over the line of what a faithful wife would do. Just way to far fetched for a faithful wife. Topless on a boat with an ex boyfriend pawing at her and her drunk and smoking pot? Her being topless as they come back into the marina? Then the sex dance in front of the whole reunion and her tit pops out? Then the old boyfriend feels her up in front of others in the hottub??? Come on man I get a husband being understanding but I call BULLSHIT on this one!!! Most husbands would have just went home and packed her shit and put it to the curb. Her credibility is out the window for most husbands now and she looks like a plain and simple whore to everyone in her class reunion period!

no one is happy, attendance at the next reunion will probably be way down. and lives were damaged.

and this is supposed to be an improvement?

love the way this endings of the story went. it brought out the feelings of both of them to the max as I see it. just goes to show that if two people don't talk to each other with their true feelings and just go on what they think the other one is thinking it could have very different consequences.

Fuck Jill, I don't care what her explanations were. Unless completely knocked out by drugs she has no excuse and should be cast aside to fuck her old buddies from college only without me. Once a slut, always a slut. Husbands be damned. Interesting story, though.

Most people know that 98% of lawyers are smug, arrogant, assholes. However, it is one thing to be a smug arrogant asshole to exhibiting or acting like a true slut. Witch shows that she was just looking for just the right moment to excuse her actions thru the slyness of a true attorney. and he was just gullible and excepting her excuses. the Poor slob. btw the story was actually pretty good, I did enjoy reading it. A bit long but,quite good. Better than your other story ( letter ) which leaves the readers hanging in the wind.

The revenge on Sally, Juan and Hector was not nearly enough. Jake needed to destroy them completely - to the point that they would never return to another reunion.

Isn't that a compliment? Of course it is.Especially after all the 'digging' HHT has done in the original. What I liked the most about this version is that you portrayed Jill as a woman with integrity & self respect,at least more than in the original.GOD knows,the LW platform is starving for women with some semblance of self respect.

However,the fact remains that, this was not an alternate ending to the original but an almost different story.IMO.You simply dodged the bullet of illicit sex, all together.The eternal struggle of BTB/reconciliation became an almost mute point in your story.

Nevertheless, overall, I liked the story ,as it is.

It was a 5 all the way from me. Thanks.

In order to justify Jil's behavior you went way too far. Husband had very right to observe wife and see if she would cheat. He should not have to stop her from cheating and husband's accepting any responsibility for his wife behaving like a whore in public would in real life be silly. It does make for good fiction though.

anon.1

Revenge?another cocksucking author.move across the pond

This limp-dick wimpy story is worst than the original. The author had to twist himself into a figure eight in order to justify all of the wife's actions. I sure would like to read something that resembles a real life story.

The blood slowly pooled in her eye sockets as her pupils stared lifelessly towards the man with the gun. Her death mask was a mixture of surprise and pain, a mask that her husband felt suited her very well! It would definately be a closed coffin. Bye bye Jilly

He says. He knows Jill would never cheat on him and that she loves him??? She just told him the night before she was thinking about cheating on him. I feel the author failed to make his reactions to his wife's statements and actions believable. I thought it was telling when Jill said she was trying to decide what she wanted, not what the effect would be to her marriage if she was to cheat or not.

NICE CHEATING WHORE WIFE APOLOGIST STORY ... CAPECODCUCK!!!

FUCKING ASSHIOLE!!!!

Not worth reading

You obviously like the writing of Matt Mornea. You must like the cuckold lifestyle. I personally loved this story as it told about two people who didn't mean to and then didn't before cuckolding happened. Revenge was nasty and to the point.

I rated it 3 stars because I felt it was missing something...don't know what, but something.

First of all.- What revenge? What he did is not revenge but damage control. Big difference.

"I trust Jill and can forgive her for going crazy every once in a while. I know that she is not going to do anything to damage our marriage."

So he is willing to give her a free pass for time to time and he is willing to accept her cheating. Textbook definition of cuckold.

"I'm sorry about that guys. This reunion has taught me that a true friend is someone who cares about me and accepts me as I am. Life is too short to deal with people who want to screw up my life in the name of friendship."

Where this comes from? yesterdau he was blamning him and not showing any sign of remorse and now suddenyl she shows a change of heart. based on what?

The problem wiith this story is that emotions are inconsistent with actions. People bounces back and forth from one emotional state to another and only a few are in the right place. That's why the story is not believable.

Good effort, it has some really good moments, but didn't work for me.

Only laughable!!!

Jill has a lot guilt to wear and she tried to use deception.

Once she heard he was coming she could have let desk know.

Also when she found out he tried to access her room and was denied, she still didn't call. She wanted to act slutty and did. Also why did she go out with exlover top less smoking pot that makes you horny with husband on the way?

You will have to settle for four. Jill was caught in so many lies and contradictions in previous chapters that I still think she had sex with Juan. I know that she did numerous things that proved she had cheated on Jake. Jake had not gone ballistic about Jill being topless on a Topless Beach...BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN WITH HER. But he was not with her when she went topless on the Mendoza's yacht. And the results? Juan had fondled her breasts and dry humped her. No one but me gets to see my wife's uncovered body (unless they want me to kill them!) No one gets to cop a feel of my wife (unless they are ready to permantly disappear.) Jill will cheat again. She will just be more careful. But Jake will be more observant and less trusting.

"My emotions were telling me to fly into a rage and start screaming at him." Can you say "girly man"?????

if it was me i would have blown up hector and juans boat with them in it.

Things are getting better.

MINUS 5*!!!

You and Angiquesophie should get together for a Crisco party. I mean really, bro, this is so fucking gay. People are doing re-writes on this story ending because the original author enjoyed turning the husband into something of a mollusk. So....you turn him into a fag? Wtf. This sucks sucks sucks. All the tawking tawking tawking bullshit with his cheating wife. Why not just slap the bitch?

In reality Jake bore no responsibility and you had to stretch way to hard to give him some. On the other hand, Jill behaved like a whore and did not even really feel remorse. She still blamed Jake for her outlandish behavior.

anon.1

Poor cuck crap!!!

These grown adults, lawyers to boot, acted like overwrought teenagers. No adult would act the way they did. The plot was too convoluted, too.

So many twists that I don't know who to believe. There was no convincing argument that either condemned or exonerates Jill. This reads more like a spy thriller than a real life marital crisis.

It would be completely believable if the Mendoza twins used drugs to pave the way into beds. They have the money and no doubt the connections for access. They lack class. And they’re lawyers, considering themselves above reproach. To them, the women always have more to lose.

It may sound strange, but despite his games I think Hector really loves Maria, and she certainly loves him. I can see them reconciling as long as Hector has TRULY learned his lesson.

This isn't so much a different ending to headhunter's story as a totally different story arising from the same initial premise. It's all a little too clever clever for my taste and I find it hard to care what happens to grown adults who behave like 10 year old kids.

LA

A four chapter story of waffle where the crux of it could have been told in two maximum.

The way Jake "confronted" Juan and Hector was laughable! I could imagine him looking like a geekish little nerd wagging his finger at them! OK...their all lawyers but it would have been a better story if the "confrontation scene" had turned into a bloody bar fight with both Juan and hector getting their asses handed to them!

You quit writing, you have talent and good imagination....5

A most inadequate attempt to totally reverse Headhuntertales setup and characters.

I prefer the BTB of other versions of this story to this RAAC version. She got off way too easily with all her walking on the edge. Juan should have suffered physical pain also. Decent, but not quite good version of story. One nitpick, not just for you though. What did you teach her nipples? The word is not taught, it is taut. That means tight. Taught means you have a lesson. A small thing, but irritating none the less.

First of all, the writer is trying to convince a reader how the hero is turning the situation of embarrassment into his favor but has nothing to show for, other than his claim how he was being smart:

"Another task that I accomplished was to shift the blame. I emphasized the behavior of Juan and Sally while minimizing Jill's loss of control."

There is nothing in the text that confirms that. For obvious reasons. First, the hero would not be able to do that and second, writer himself knows that so he is not even trying.

Then the revenge part - this is nothing but a blab that somehow leaves the main character looking smart and others not being able to utter anything. Of course, since the writer has the control of what is "said" this could be done but it does not sound one bit realistic. It just looks like blab. There is no revenge anywhere here.

What you really have is a wife that has little self-control, a husband that acts every bit as a wimp (excusing himself for being "too analytical") . I think this could look decisive to another wimp but it surely not going to look as anything but pansy to a red-blooded male.

I have to say the first three chapters were not that bad and with a better writer this could culminate with a vengeful climax. There are couple of ways it could have been done. For example, getting Juan into room with Jill and then creating appearance of rape. Yes, it would take some effort on the writer's part other than blabber.

Thus 1 star for failure to achieve resolution.