Loose Ends

I have exceptionally uncharacteristic dirty thoughts that I never would have dreamt of while we were together. I think about pulling out of her mid thrust and spurting my jiz all over her face. I can't believe I am thinking this because it is so unlike me and I have never had such dirty thoughts before. Instead, I pound her mercilessly into the mattress. But each action has an equal and opposite reaction, and as she holds me in a fierce, vice like grip, meeting my thrusts equally as forceful, our bodies grinding and rocking together with aggressive passion. I have not forgotten how strong she is and we are locked like two pythons, squeezing each other and trying to get the upper hand, neither giving any slack.

I take my confused emotions out on her vagina as I thump my dick quite a bit harder than usual into her. She feels great too and my mind begins to selectively forget all the problems we have had and what forced us apart. Short gasps escape from between her ripe lips with each outward breath. We push and pull, thrust and release, managing to get a rhythm up like in the old times when we made passionate love with the main intention of pleasuring one another instead of possessing each other like we were now. As we hump, the seal the between my engorged penis and her wet vagina sometimes breaks, pumping air through the gap and making loud sucking, farting noise. The skin on our sweaty flat bellies is also locked hard together and makes similar noises when air gets forced into any gap that forms between our writhing bodies. Once upon a time we would have laughed at this, but now we just take each other lustily, grunting, gasping and grinding together.

I kiss her hard on the mouth and she returns the kiss with as much force and passion. Grinding away at each other, I kiss her on the neck, sucking at her smooth brown skin. She begins to moan, calling out for God and even calling my name. Our orgasms are now arriving fast, the pressure rise in me as I kissed near the base of her ear. I am ever so tempted to whisper, "I love you," into her ear, but I don't dare, sucking vigorously on her ear lobe instead.

She calls out my name as I slide deep within her one more time, and I feel my body lose control as the tingles of climax build within me, and then explode, pumping great wads of cum juice into her. She cums hard too, shuddering in orgasmic pleasure. I unexpectedly feel an uplift of happy emotion that this most beautiful girl with whom I once wanted to spend the rest of time with has taken a great pleasure out of our union and a large part of me still wishes that I still could still spend the rest of time with her. As we begin to slow our movements, I give her a very gentle and loving kiss, the first gentle kiss since our kiss at the door. She kisses me back, sweetly, just like the old times. We are both drenched in sweat from the passion of our sex and the humidity of the summer heat, and the bitter-sweet scent of our sex permeates the room.

As we rest, catching our breaths, my brain kicks back into gear. I am not regretful about what she and I had just done, but I know it most probably won't save us and reinvigorate the old relationship we once had. I am reluctant to leave her body though. Part of me – okay, all of me, wants to stay here, with her, inside her, belonging to each other like we once felt we used to. I could lie with her for the rest of time, just holding each other. I know that when I pull out I may never have that connection with her again. I know I still love her. But this time there will be none of the post coital cuddles that we used to love every bit as much as our sex.

She wriggles under me and I roll off and lay beside her. We both lay like that in silence, lost in our own thoughts, staring blankly at the ceiling fan that spins above her bed. In my head I chastise myself for having such angry thoughts about her. I have calmed down though and common sense helps me realise that our relationship demise was not just her fault and I know that I had a hand in it too.

"That was hot!" she says, breaking the silence. "I had almost forgotten how good we can be together."

"Yeah, we do know how to get some things right. I just wish we were more compatible with the rest of our relationship too."

With a hint of sadness, she agrees with me. She tells me that she is still hurting because we had hurt each other and were no longer together and I tell her I feel the same way. We discuss the possibility of reconciliation, but in the end we both agree that we need time apart and that, at the present time, if we got together again, we would probably end up going down the same road and would reach the end quicker the next time. I think we both get some small comfort from a scant possibility that sometime down the track we would perhaps reconcile.

We dress and she walks me to the door again. And again we hug and I kiss her cheek. She gives me a weak smile, and as I see sadness on her face, it crosses my mind that this might even be our last ever contact. I reach out and caress her left arm, giving her a weak and sad smile of my own, and then I bend down in the doorway to pick up the last box of belongings that I have not yet taken to my car, before very tentatively turning and walking away.

As I drive away from her place for the last time I feel a great loss and sadness, and it feels as if the past four years were only a dream. I wonder who will be the first to break and call the other. Perhaps down the track we might give us a go again. Though, knowing us both very well, I think we will be as stubborn as each other, waiting and hoping the other will call, and she and I will most likely hold out indefinitely. I wonder when, or if I will see her again.

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