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"Appadi sirikkaathe... unnoda siricha muhaththai paaththaa enakku innum veri eruthu...sari...konjam kaalai virichukko"endru nee solla ,"kadichu thinnudaathedaa...en purusanukkum venum"endru koochaththudan naan solla,nee veri vanthavanaai ,en thodaihalaip piriththu mandiyittu,... en thodaihalai un kannaththil thadavi muththam koduththu,...uppi ,urundu thirandu, azhahaa medu thatti iruntha en puthu pundaikku oru muththam koduththu...atharkku mel iruntha pon nira mudihalai vilakki,en pundaiyil irunthu vazhintha then paahai,konjam pol nuni naakkil rusi paarththa nee...,"superkkaa...super taste" endru sollikkonde, vazhintha then paahai ,muzhu naakkaium neetti,...en pundai mudihal sara,sarakka azhuththi nakki ,pin viralhalaal en pundai ithazhalai viriththu,athil naakkai nuzhaiththu innum irukkira thenai ellaam edukkum mummuraththil,...moochchaip pidiththukkondu,nee muththuk kulikka...sorkaththin vilimbai thottukkondiruntha naan,...en suya ninaindri kangal soruha,inba mayakkaththil ,enathu pundaiai unakku azhahaaha viriththukoduthen.
Azahaaha viriththu koduththa naan, inba unthuthalaal enathu mulaihalai naane pisainthukonden.pohap pohap pothai eriyathu. Neeum rusi kandavanaai en adi vayiru kuzunga nakkikonndu irunthaai.Inba uchiai ettum samayam....veliye poyiruntha amma ulle varavum,nee iruntha kolaththaium,naan iruntha kolaththaium paarththu piramiththu,pathari "loham kettup poiduththudaa...sandaalaa,koodap porantha akkavaiye pendaala ennam vachundrikkiye...paavi,vittaa...en melayum illa un kan pohum nokku"endru kaththi kalaattaa seithaal.
Appa vanthathum ,naan nallaval polavum...nee thaan veri pidiththu alaivathu polavum,"Ithap paarungonnaa ...ivvalavu naalium naan sollindirunthathu nokku purinchirukkumnu nenaikkiren...appave nenaichen... ponnu azahaa valanthunndu varrathe...yaar kan padap pohuthonnu...kali kaalam ,unga paiyan kan pattundathu...thinamum veetlernthu rasikkaraanilio...athaan...kaamap pei avanai pidichindu aattuthu...ennaiye kooda kai pidichu izuththaalum izuppaan?...muthalle avanai veettai,vittu thuraththungo" endru theermaanamaai kooravum,...pondaatti thaasanaahi iruntha appa,ammavin pechai kettukkondu unnai veettai vitte veliye pohum padi solli vittaar.
Naan veliye solli thadukkavum mudiyavillai. Manathukkulleye azhuthen.Unnai pirintha thukkam ennai ennavo seithathu...niyaappadi parththaal,ennaium allavaa serthu thurathi irukka vendum?Naanallava unnai keduththen.Andrilirunthu indruvarai ,entha pidippum illamal thaan vaaznthen.Un kaditham kandathum thaan santhosam.
Anbu muththangaludan
Akkka
2-9-1965
Anbulla thambikku,
Sendra kadithaththai,vilaavaariyaaha satru virivaaha ezuthui iruppathaaha ninaikkiren.Palaya ninaivuhalai asai pottukkonde ,ezuthiyathaal ...unarchi poorvamaaha ezuthivitten.Kaditham neraaha unakkuthaan varuhirathaa?...matravarhal padikkum vaaippu ullathaa? Theriyappaduththu...sensor panni ezuthidaren.
Melum inge oru mukkiyamaana visayam.Unnai nadaththai kettavan ,kaamanthakaaran endru solliya nam amma...paththini,...uththami ,pakkaththu veettu parathesiodu odi vittaal.Oru vaaramaaha veettukku varavillai.Intha vayathilum ammavukku koothi arippeduthtu, pakkaththu veettukkaaranodu odipponaale?...nambalap paththi konjamaavathu nenaichi iruppaalaa...thevadiyaa.
Annaikku unnai veliye thoraththittu,"om pundai aripeduththu kidakkuthadi ...athanaalethaan thambioda thaambaththiam nadaththap paaththe...kozuppeduththa pundaikku soodu pottu,kozuppai koraikirendy "endru solli... naan kaththa, kaththara, karandiai kaaya vaiththu pundaiyin mel soodu vaiththaal.Nallavelai naan naharnthu kondathaal...thodaiyil soodu pattu vittathu.Innum kooda antha thazumbu irukku.Ippadi senchava izuththukkittu odittaannaa...azarathaa,sirikkirathaa...puriyalai.
Appuram innoru santhosamaana visayam,konja naala ennai oruththar...summa varrachaium,porachaium...paaththundu,sirichundu irukkaar.Enna avar manasula nenachundrukkaar theriyale.Ennai kaathalikka aasaippadaarnnu thonrathu.Karuppa irunthaalum ,kalaiyaa irukkaar.Innum pesip paakkalai. Matravai aduththa kadithaththil.
Ippadikku
Anbulla akkaa
10-9-1965
Anbulla thambikku,
Nalam.nalam naaduhiren.Sendra puthan kizamai kovilukku poi irunthen.Avarum kovilukku vanthirunthaar.Kangalaaleye pesikkondom.Peyar kettaar...sonnen.Avarum ,avarudaiya kudumbaththai paththium,avaraip paththium niraiya sonnaar.Mihavum ezai kudumbam.Konjam padichirukkaar.Naan mattum...m ...endru sonnaal,kattina selaioda kalyaanam pannindu pohath thayaaraam.Ennai nannaa vachiruppaarnnuthaan thondrathu.
"...mmm...kadaisi visayam...namma aazunga ,aaththukkaaranga mukkiya nenaichu pesara visayam avar jaathiai paththithaan.Unnoda karuththai sollu.
Ippadikku,
Akka
2-1-1966
Anbulla thambikku,
Ennoda suhaththaium ,thukkaththaium sollikkarathukku,pahirnthukkarathukku ithuvaraikkum nee irunthe...ippo innoruththar kooda sernthuttaar.Naan solrathu unakku puriumnu nenaikkiren.Nee sonna maathiri ...jaathi enna jathi.Naan summa pechukkaahathaan un karuththai ketten.Athukku munnalaye avaraththaan kattikkanumnu mudivu senchutten.
Pona vaaram naanga yaarukkum sollaama...kovilil vaiththu kalyaanam senjukkittom.Ini avarthaan enakku ellaame.Enga kalyaanam mudincha naalaavathu nalle, nam appaavum heart attack --la iranthuttaar.Intha visayaththai unakku thanthi koduththu therivichen.Eno nee varalai.paravaayillai naanum ,avarum sernthu ellaa kaariyaththaium pannittu ,namakkiruntha ore veettaium viththuttu, irukkira konja nanja paaththira pandangalai eduththukkittu thiruchi vanthu thani kudiththanam aarambichirukkom.
Avar en kitte romba anbaa nadanthukkiraar.Enna...konjam sidu moonchi.Naan sila samayam vilayaattukku,"endaa karuppa irukkira unakku ,sekka sivantha pundai ketkutho?"endru kettaal,,en pundaiai thottukkaatti,"aamaandi ,intha sevaththa pundaikku ,intha karuththa sunnithaandi poruththamaayirukku"endru solli sunniai veliye eduththu aatti kaanbikkiraar.Appaaa....evvalavu neelam...enakku payamaayirukkuthappaa...Aduththa vellikizamai 'first night' kondaadarathunnu muidivu panni irukkom.So, aduththa kadithaththai romba secret-aa vachu padikkavum.
Ippadikku
Abulla akka.
Anbulla thambikku,
Aasai muththangaludan,udaluravu inbaththai anubavikka aarambiththirukkum un akka ezuthuvathu.Intha kadithaththai padiththu ,un sunni nimirnthu,evalaiyaavathu thedikkondu odinaalo,allathu evalaiyaavathu ninaiththukkondu kai adiththaalo atharkku naan poruppillai.Oru chinna advise, quarter pottukkondu padi .innum kikkaa irukkum.Enna aarambikkattumaa...?
Andru maalai varai suhamaana kanavuhalodu avar koduththa sila sex puththahangalai padiththuvittu ,kannayarnthu thoonginen.Kaalaiyil avar mattum kadaikku sendru enakku puthu pudavai,paavaadai,bra,jacket,velli kolusu...appuram maambazam,vaalai pazam,thiraattchi, oothupaththi,oru koodai mallihaip poo aahiyavatrai vaangikkondu vanthu,ennai vadai paayaasam seiya sollivittu,kattil alangaaraththirkku sendru vittaar.
Iravu 9 mani aahiyathum,iruvarum kuziththu vittu puthu aadaihal aninthu kondom.Pin muthaliravukku vendiyavaihalai thayaar paduththi vittu kadavul mun ninru vananginom.Avar sendru pattu vetti , pattu sattaiudan utkaarnthu kolla...naan sombil paaleduththu athai kaiyil enthi pattup pudavai sara sarakka...mallikaip poo vaasam manantha antha araikkul methuvaaha haaladi eduththu vaiththu en udambaiye avarukku arppanikkum ennaththudan...paal sombai avar kaiyil koduththen.
Naan koduththa paal sombai vaangi vaiththuvittu,utkarntha padiye ennai izuththu anaiththu,"unnoda azahu tharisanaththai kaattendi"endru sonnathum,itharkkaahaththaan iththanai naal kaaththiruntha naan,veha vehamaai en pudavaiai avizththu veesinen.Jacket-ium,bra-vaium avizththu,paavaadaiaium avizththu en meniai nirvaanamaakkikkondu appadiye utkaarnthu avar kaalai thottu kumbitten.En akkulil kai koduththu ezuppiya avar madiyil ennai kidaththikkondu paplimaas pazam pol pudaiththukkonndiruntha en mulaihalai veri pidiththathu pol pisainthaar.Kasakkinaar.Appadiye athan meethu vaayai vaiththu urinchikkondu en adivayitrai pisainthu atharkku keele karu karuvena romam mandikkidantha penmaiyin perinba puriyai viralhalaal thadavi,methuvaaha pisainthuvida aarambiththaar.
Avarudaiya viralhalin vilaiyaattil,en uralukkul ooral eduththathu.,"Enga ,...viralai vitte nondikittirunthaa eppadi?...thadiai vittu kuththunga enakku romba arikkuthunga...aaaa....ennaale thaanga mudiyalaie...unga saamaanai ulle vittu kuththi aattunga ...mmm..." endrapadi puttaththai uyarththi uyarththi kaattnen.Naan thudippathaium ,thavippathaium parththavar vestiyai vilakki ennai keele mandiyittu utkaaravaiththu...avarin sunniai en muhaththukku neraaha kondu vanthu,en thalaiaip pidiththu avar thodaihalukku neraaha izuththaar.
"Enga ithellaam appuramaa vachukkalaam.Muthalle unga sunniyaale en pundaikkulle narkk unnu naalu kuththu kuththunga"endru uruttu kattaip pol iruntha avarinsunniai pidiththu azuththi azuththi uruvinen."Buvana unnoda arippai adakkarathu eppadeennu enakku therium.Nee muthalle ithai kavani endravar padaarena aruhil iruntha jam paattilai eduththu,ennai padukka solli...en thodai idukkil iruntha pilavai nandraaha pilanthu...atharkkul antha jam-i kotti...en kaalhal irandaium ahalaamaha pilanthu,appadiye irukkamaaha pidiththukkondu...sattena avar muhaththai ange kondu sendru,naakkai vittu jam-i rusiththukkonde en pundaiyil surantha juice-ium rusikka aarambiththaar.
"Enga...enga appadiye azuththi nakkunga . Neenga naakku podarathule romba expert-aa irukkeenga...mmm....nallaa nakkunga " endru sollivittu,thalai keel paduththiruntha avarin sunniai en vaayil vaiththu,uthaduhalai kuviththu oombi vilaiyaada aarambiththen.
Naan veri vanthavalaaha avarin sunniai oomba...athe pol avarum naakkai adi varai seluththi nakka aarambithaar.(irunthaalum ,nee nakki koduththa suhaththai marakka mudiyaathu).Nee nakki suvaiththa en pundaiai avarum nakkuhiraar endru ninaiththukkonde en vaaikkul iruntha avarin sunniai vehamaaha aatti asaiththu soruhiya avar,adiyi kai koduththu en mulaihalai kanna pinna vendru pisainthaar.Appothu thideerena avarin sunniyilirunthu sudu kanji peechi adiththathu.Amirthamaai vizungiya naan,kadaisich chottaium vizungiyathodu naavaal nakki rusiththen.Athe pol en pundaiyil kottiya jam-i kaali seithu pundai neeraium kudiththu silirkka seithu vittaar.
Oru sila nimidangal naangal appadiye kattilil kidanthom.En kaihal avarudaiya sunniai thadavikkondirukka ,avaro enathu mulaihalai pisain thu,pisainthu soodetrikkondirunthaar."Ennanga...mollamaanga ,enna ippadi oreyadiyaa parottaavukku maavu pisayaaraappule pisaiyareenga? Romba valikkuthunga ...mellamaa use pannunga endru avar uthattil muththamittu ,avar echilai urinchi kudiththen.
Avarukkum antha aasai vanthuvittathu,en uthaduhalai kavvi sappo sappunnu sappi,avar naakkai en vaaikkul nuzaiththu en echilai vizunginaar.Paththu nimidangalukku melaaha en udambai kasakkiya padi ,en vaayai suvaiththukkondirunthavar padaarena ennai kuppura padukka vaiththu sathai pidippudan uppi pudaiththukkondiruntha sooththai pilanthu en kannaththil muththamittaar.Avar ennaththai purinthu konda naan,"Enga ,...ange ellaam venaanga ennaale thaanga mudiyaathunga...please kaiai edunga endren.
"Buvanaa unnoda puttangal evvalavu kum nnu irukku theriyumaa...ithukkulle vittu rendu kuththu kuththinaathaan ennoda aasai adangum,endru solliya padiye athan irandu pahuthiaium irandu kaihalaal piriththu,angu idai veliyai erppaduththi,thayaaraai vaiththiruntha vilakkennaiai ootri thadavi vittaar.
"Enga ...athla mattum venaanga unga thadi athukkulle pochunnaa naan avvalavuthgaan... please" endru kenjinen.
"Unakku onnum aayidaathu ,payappadaathe" endru sollikkonde sarrena soothtghu vaayilil avarudaiya oru viralai nuzaiththu oru izu izuththaar.
"Enga...viralaiye ennaale thaanga mudiyalai...vilaangu meen maathri irukkira...unga sunni ulle vittaa...thaanga maatten" endru solli kenjium en vaarththaihalai kaathil pottukkollaamal ennai asaiyaamal pidiththukkondu,avarin viraiththa sunniai,sooththaip pilanthu vaasalin neraaha vaiththu 'thum' pidithtu azuththa ,naano,"...iissss...aaa...ammmaaa...aiyoooo... enga valikkuthunga...venaam...athai veliye eduththudunga...ennaale thaanga mudiyale "endru kaththinen.
"Buvanaa ore nimisamthaan.pallai kadichukkittu poruththukko...innum konjamthaan endru munahiyapadiye,avar sunniai muzuvathumaaha en soothinul nuzaithu...en sooththu meththaihalin meethu avar iduppai azuththi...melum,keelumaaha aatti,aatti en pin puraththil er ottikkondirunthaar.Avar aatti aatti okka ,en mun puraththil azahaaha aadi kulungikkondiruntha,en mulaihalai allip pidiththu kasakki piliya aarambiththaar.
"Appaa....enna ,ippadi pendu edukkareenga"endru naan salippudan kettatharkku,"buvana,ethaium soft-aa seiyarathu enakku pidikkaathu.Adi varai poi aazamaai velai seithaalthaan en aasai theerum endravar,avar iduppai methuvaaha melum keelum asaiththu,asaiththu en pin pura mettil idiththu sarrr ena avarin amirthaththai en pin puraththil peechinaar.
Aduththa nimidam atharkkulliruntha avarin aayuthaththai uruvikkondu, ennai purattip pottu kannangal,netri uthadu,mookku endru muththam koduththu,"samaththu pondaatti "endru thatti koduththaar.
Pin en mulaihalai pidiththu uruttiya padi...enna kallu maathri kettiyaa irukku endrapadi pisainthu en udal muzukka muththamittaar,thadavinaar.Pundaiyil vaayai vaiththu kavvienakku kilarchiai ootta...naan eraalamaai avathgippada aarambithen.
"Enga seekkiram en pundaikkulle unga sunniai vittu aattunga"endru kenji avarin rasthaaliaip pidiththu,en malarntha pundai mettukku neraaha kondu vara,avar sunniai en pundaip pilavil vaiththu ullethalli iduppai azuththa athu ulle poha sandiththanam seithathu.Athai veliye eduththavar athan meethum vilakkennai ootri,meendum en pundaikkul soruha,athu eettiaip pol vehamaaha ulle paainthu soruhik kondathu.
"...aaaa...ammmaaaa ooo...ssss...iyooo... enga mollamaanga ....aaa....iyyoooo ..endrapadi naan en iduppai uyarththi,uyarththy kaatta,avar uralukkul ulakkaiai poduvathu pola...nang...nang.. ena idiththu muhaththil muththamittu...kuzungiya mulaihalai kavvi suvaiththu...uthaduhalai sappi enathu mayangiya kangalukku,muththam koduththu,"buivana,un pundaiyile sorgaththaiye vachirukkedi ...appa... enna suhamaa irukku theriumaa" endra padiye nang...nang ena avar kuththa,iduppai thookki vaattamaaha kaattiya naan,"enga...ennanga seireenga...appadiye mele parakkiramaathiri irukkuthunnga enakku"endru solliya padi avar muthuhai nanraaha irukki....thodaihalai nandraaha ahattikkoduththu...kkum...kkum..ena anaththi avar kuththai vaanginen.
En pundaiyil amuthum ,thenum suranthu,nurai thathumbi ...salak...pulak...ena sangeetham paada,thideerena avaridamirunthu thevaamirtham peerittu en pundai soottai thanikka....appuramenna eppo thoonginomnu engalukke theriyaathu.
Kaalai 10 manikku thaan naan ezunthen.kuliththuvittu vanthu avar kaalai thottu kumbittu vittu,thaaliai eduththu kangalil otri,avar kannaththil muththamittu avarai ezuppa....thirumbavum ennai anaiththu...adiyil neer paaichi vittaar.
Innum ezuthikkitte pohalaam idamillai.Ennathaan irunthaalum unkitte ol vaanganumnu enakku aasaiyaa irukku....eppo en aasai niraiverumo....kadavulum,kaalamum thaan pathil sollanum.
Ippadikku
Anbulla akka
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Aththanai kadithaththai padiththu mudiththathum,enakku aachariam,athisayam ,kuru kuruppu ellaame erppattathu.En ammavukkum,maamaavukkum thahaatha vuravu,ithu varai erppadavillai.Antha vaaippu varumendru iruvarum kaaththukkondirukkiraarhal.paarkkalaam ennathaan nadakkirathendru ...naanum aavalaai kaathirunthen.
Naan kaathirunthathu pol antha sambavum nadanthu vittathu.Vidumuraiyil naan oorukku poi iruntha samayam,akka college-kkum,thangai school-ukkum,appa velaikku poi irukka...veettil amma mattum thaan ...manjal theiththu kuliththu poo choodi ,thala thala ena mulaihal aada "ennadaa leave vittaachaa"enrdru kettapadiye, aruhil vanthu sari...sari vaa romba kalaippaa irukkum.tiffin saappittuttu rest edu"ebdru solli sendru vittaal.Naan kuliththu saappittu mudiththathum,veliyil sendriruntha maamaa vanthaar."Enna leave vittaachaa...mmm....jollithaan endru kooriya padiye,madikku sendru vittaar.Akkaavum,thangaium mathiam veettukku vara maattaarhal.
Enakkum poradiththathaal,ethaavathu cinema-kku sendru varalaam endru mudivu seithu,ammavidam solli vittu veliye kizambinen.Entha theater-ilum ticket kidaikkaathathaal veedu thirumbi vitten.
Kathgavu ul pakkamaaha thaal pottirunthathu.Sari amma thoonguvaal endru ninaiththapadiye,ammavai ezuppi kathavai thirakka solla ...kathavai thattuvatharkku ponavan...maamaa veliyil pohaamal veettukkul thaane irunthaar enbathu ninaivukku vanthu....ennathaan nadakkirathu paarppom endru jannal aruhe vanthu nindren.nallavelai jannal saaththavillai.(Naan paarpathu ulle iruppavarhalukku theriyaathu.)
Naan angu kanda kaatchi....naan ninaithathu pole nadanthu vittathu.Maamaa ezunthu bath room sendru vittu vanthavar,bed room --in ooraththil oru ooramaaha tharaiyil paai viriththu paduththiruntha en ammaavaip paarththathum ,appadiye nindru,utru paarththukkondirunthaar.Ethai appadi paarththukkondirukkiraar enbathai ariya konjam mele ekki paarththen .Ange naan kandathu....
En azahu ammaavin munthaanai sarinthirukka,maambalam pondra,avalathu sivantha ,thala thala vendra mulaihal thazumbi jacket-in idaiveliyil sarinthu,aval moochu vidum pothellaam eri,irangiyathu kan kollaa kaatchiyaaha irunthathu.Ahandra iduppu ,satru thalarntha kuruhiya idai.pithungiya iduppu sathai madippu...
Ithgaip paarkka ,paarkka maamaavukku en pol sunni ezumbi irukka vendum enbathu,avar ange aasaiyodu paarpathilirunthe therinthathu.Vestikkullirunthu torch light eduppathu pol than sunniai veliye eduththa maamaa,oru kaiyaal than sunniai neevik kondu ,en ammaavin aruhil paduththu,aval mel kai pottu,...pithungi vazintha mulaihalin idaiveliyil,muham puthaiththu ,vaasanai muharnthu,muththamittu,kannaththil azuththamudan muththamittu,ithalhalai kadiththu suvaikkum pothu viziththukkonda amma ,mamaavin vaaikkulsendru vitta than uthaduhalai viduviththukkondu,pathari ezunthu munthaanaiai sari seithukonde,"Dai...ennadaathu vilaiyaattu.Un maamaavukku therinthaal enna nadakkum theriumaa...yaaraavathu vanthudap poraanga...podaa"endru payantha padiye sollavum,"akka yaarum varamaattaanga payapadaathe akka.Naan solrathai kelu ,...nee vayasukku vanthathilirunthe,naan ummele romba aasai vachutten.Unnoda ovvoru asaivu enakkul aasaiai kilappiruchu...please-kkaa"endru maamaa solla,atharkku amma...
"Dai naan mattum,ummele aasai illaamalaa irukken.Naan unnoda maamaavaik kalyaanam kattikkira varaikkum...nee eppavaavathu vanthu thoduviyaa,thottu aambila suhaththai koduppiyaannu paaththen.Ennoda aasaiai purinchukkittu ,nee athai niraiveththara samayam,vithi nammba rendu perththaium pirichu vachuduchu.Ennoda aasaiai eththanaio letter-la ezuthi irunthene padikkalaiyaa?...Naan pazasaahip ponavadaa....unakkunnuthaan puththam puthusaa peththu vachirukkene....oruththikku rendu perththe....appuram endaa?"
"Akka,un ponnai naan kattikkirathukku enakku seer senaththi ethuvum vendaamkka.unakkaahaththan avalai kattikkiren.America-vula illaatha ponnuhalaa....please-kka"endru ketkavum...
"Kalyaanam aahaathappo kettu iruntheenaa...pothum pothumgira alavukku virunthu padaichiruppen.Athukkuthaan unakkum enakkum athirstam illaama poiduchu.Naan ippo innoruththaroda pondaatti...athaan yosikkiren endr sonna amma"en kaama aasai kozunthu vittu erinchappo,nee vanthu adakkuvennu ethir parththen.Aana naan ippo innoruththaroda pondaatti.Intha nilamaiyile un aasaikku inangineennaa....avarukku thurooham senja maathiri aayidum.En mahalhalai enna venna pannikko.Un aasaikku inangaatha ennai mannichudu"endru solli thirumba nadanthu kathavaruhe vantha pothu...
"Akka...kadaisiyaa solren.Un mele aasaippattu...un mahalaik kattikka,nichayamum seiyaa america-vilirunthu ivvalavu thooram vanthutten.Ithukku mele naan uyir vaaza virumbula.Un thambi mukkiamnaa...avanai muthan muthalaa kaathalichathu unmainnaa...inge vanthu saami padaththukku munnaadi,unnoda pudavaiai avuththuttu nillu...illainnaa nee pohalaam"endru en maamaa uruthiyaaha sonnathum,...
