All Comments on 'See the Shot, Take the Shot'

Terrible... just terrible. Couldn't finish it.

Pretty well written and surprising honest. Hopefully the series will take a more erotic twist rather than underbelly of the streets kind of theme as the protag learns to use his powers.

Terrific perspective. We want more!!!

It's certainly dark, but that's not a bad thing, just means you took it a different direction.

Tone wise, it's hard to keep up with. You use ellipsis (the ...) so much that half of every paragraph feels like a question. Try and reduce that a bit.

Also, this may be intentional, but it feels like the narrator isn't very present at any point in the story. It's almost as if he's remembering a dream he had rather than a series of events he lived. If that's what you were going for, great job! If not, see what you can do to correct it.

All in all, the trope is common, but I like your take on it. It's nice to see genuine darkness in the MC category. A lot of people try to skirt around that, but you've hit it head on. Look forward to more.

DEEP,

DD