All Comments on 'The Lady Captains Year Ch. 06'

an all time low - must be a glutton for punishment after the scores for chap 5, this might be even lower.... yuck

sick and pathetic

Seeing that this is your first posting not to bad. I think you tired to include to much in it, which would have been alright if you spent the time setting it all up. You didn't do that as well after the first couple of chapters, and seem to much of a hurry to end it. As a result it seemed to flow well then stumble along.

Your story started strong but the longer it went on, the weaker it got. It became so predictibly British with the poor sod allowing his slut wife to fuck anything that had a cock and then sucking their spunk out of her nasty twat. Only after the slut surpassed a new low and gave him a STD did he finaly divorce her ass.

Betsy did not do anything, it was jack all the time ha was a fault, he shud have dead, in the starting, he was pathetic excuse of man.

You took you time building the story and characters, which is good, so many writers fail to build tension and emotional investment. Over all a good story.

My only constructive criticism would be the need for more dialog, especially at the end of this story. Even if the marriage is over, a person that has been shown this kind of contempt by someone they thought loved them would want to find out why, and to express their hurt and anger. I know I would. Many writers have a hard time with dialog and fall back on internal monolog to communicate the story but this lacks the tension and investment dialog gives.

Dialog at this point also allows the reader to see into the character of the wrongdoer and give satisfaction as the protaganist has an opportunity to express what we, the readers have been feeling through him.

As I said, overall a good story; keep writing!

dude you're a fucking idiot.

seriously

This is NOT brain surgery. This idiot author does get rule #1 in writing.

Here it is: EXCPEPTIONAL actions and behavior REQUIRE exceptional explanation/ foundation.

Its just that simple.

This was NOT a drunken 1 night stand by the wife.

The wife's behavior over 5 chapters SHOULD triger a response from the husband.

But he does NOTHING.

That is OK but the author should have enough respect for the readers to show WHY the husband does and says nothing for 5 and 1/2 chapters. That requires an explanation.

In chapter 5 the pathetic turd of man takes back a lying cheating manipulative whore ... and guess what?

she cheats again?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

really??

Golly who saw that coming? first VCU now this! what a shocker

What were you thinking? Did you think this chapter was redeeming for you as a writer or character - NOOOOO!!!!!

First, you left out that she felt superior to him, looked down on him from the very beginning when they golfed together.

Next, without drugs, she slutted her apparel, flaunted it in front of him and went out to fuck 'A Real Man'.

Now, he is willing to give her gang bang time, if they are together and it is only once in a while and right off the bat she is out back at a bar with a guy getting ready to bang him.

Oh hell...from chapter two on there is something wrong with you. Also, writing the 6th chapter, seeking acceptance from us, NO CHANCE!!!!!!!!

We all felt good for him and lucky to have her for 18 years but beautiful and happy that they were - it was all over when she didn't tell him about Samuels being her co-Captain. Between that and her attitude on the golf course - FINISHED!!!

We ead the last chapter to see if you had any redeeming qualities - None!

You kept me coming back but it seems you got a little lazy in your character development and conflict dialog follow thru. A good first effort - keep writing.

Learn from this one and keep writing!

I don't know when I've ever encountered such pathetic, unsympathetic characters - mom's an unrepentant slut, dad's an oblivious fool - I feel for the children. And when all is said(written) and done - I haven't a clue as to why any of this happened, or that there is the slightest reason for me to care. Sad really.

The absurdity of that movie and this story are comparable. I still recall the scene from the movie where our British 'heroes' are surrounding the French castle (seeking the Holy Grail) and the French, on the walls of the castle, moon the British, and constantly hurl insults, "I fart in your general direction!" Meanwhile, the British continue to politely ask the French where to seek the Holy Grail!

Harry is absolutely correct -- she cheats, and she cheats, and she sluts, and she whores, and what does hubby get for all that? More of the same! And he licks her creampies clean! No wonder she repeatedly treats him with contempt. So this tale is beyond belief, equal to the absurdity of Monty Python.

To top it all off, the author continues to ignore the pleadings for an editor (just as wifey ignores hubby's pathetic begging for her to leave the bar and come home with him). Below is only a small sample of the writing mistakes in this chapter alone. I suspect the author has utter contempt for the readers -- otherwise, he/she would not keep doing this but rather would get help with editing.

" . . . we had to was strip everything out, bed, bedding and carpets included before we could start the cleaning job."

" . . . quite a few drivers saw more just the road that morning."

"Sally prepared some lunch and she had a glass on wine, . . "

" . . . but there wives, obviously sensing the focus of their husband's attention . . . "

"Janet made know attempt to follow him and just continued to talk to Sally, ignoring her husband as he left."

"They guys quickly got dressed, . . "

" . . . they kept up with us the hole way round . . . "

" . . . they used me and abused my at will, . . "

Uno starro, and that's generous.

pretty much as I expected. Have to agree with most of the readers that the beginning of the story was a lot better written than the last two installments. However, I do disagree with HarryinVa. The husband did indeed do something. As I pointed out after chapter 5 he actually contributed to her final degradation and continued to do so. At least he took some of the blame when talking to the twins. I do think you made his character become dumber as the story went on. Not bad for a first story, not real good either. You could have stopped after ch 4 like some authors and just declare "The End". It would have saved you and the readers time and your scores, overall, would probably have come out the same. Nice Try, better luck next time. Unlike some I'm willing to try another one of your stories if you choose to write one. But probably not a third if your second one is similar to this one. Hell, I think I read three of Matt M's stories before I realized that he would never write about anything other than submissive little men with little dicks and no self-respect that end up watching their wives cheat on them with men with big dicks while he masturbated. Yes, you guessed it, a self portrait. Actually, I'm a little ashamed to admit that it took me three but I do try to give everyone a chance. Maybe, you should have started out with a shorter story.

I haven't read all of the comments on this story, but honestly, anyone behaving like Sally in this story should be institutionalized, because they are suffering from a death wish. To act as she did in this story was completely self-destructive to her health - mental and physical - her marriage, her own self-image. This woman would be dead, I suspect, in short order.

That said, oh well, it's over-the-top fiction, that most of us will say: thank goodness, I don't know anyone THAT stupid!

PostScriptor

Author - you fucked up this effort badly with this piss-poor ending and some many holes in your plot. Do everyone a favor and don't bother writing anymore.

is what this story is

The story just spun out of control and took the author for a ride. Technically a good writer, but no artistic discipline.

I'm always saddened when a marriage fails whether real or fictional. The therapist was remiss when he or she did not immediately refer them to the specialist who specialized in sexual disorders as the therapist was not up to the task.

Even when Sally had a husband who would suck other men's cum from her she could nt even pretend to respect him in her lover's presence. Love does not degrade. Love does not put you last. Love does not decieve for selfish reason. Sally stopped loving her husband when she allowed Jerry to have his way with her at the dance. From that point she was going to cheat on him. What I did not like was the way the husband blamed himself for her actions. If he wanted to keep taking her back fine but stop the self imcrimations. There is no reason why he should take her shit. In real life, not only will his friends lose respect for him but his kids as well. In the end he realizes that it is not the drugs or booze that caused her to act this way - this is who she is. What a joke that somehow Sally can wwarn her kids about drugs and booze when they are not the cause of her problems. What was sad was the ending where he is alone and she is still getting her gangbangs.

... you forget your balls when you wrote this story! What husband would put up with a WHORE like Sally? Are you one of those Cuck wannabe writers that's living out your life thru your the characters in your stories? Try this ending .... Sally, the disease ridden slut wife, gets her sloppy cunt kicked to the curb by her faithful spouse, her children drop her like the cheating bitch she is, her husband sells her to her gangbang friend's from the pub who whore her out nightly in the same bar where she issued her ultimatum to Jack. When she eventually tries to go back to her husband, he introduces her to her replacement. Jack invites his "ex" over to his home, ties her to a chair ... and makes Sally watch her loyal husband and new "hot" girlfriend have sex over and over. Jack then calls up her "friends from the pub" and tells them where the "skank" is and when to pick her up. Sally "pleads" with Jack not to send her back promising she'll keep her legs together from now on but the last thing she hears as her "pub friend's" drag her whore ass out Jack's front door is Jack saying "Once a Whore always a Whore". Sally,the ex wife Slut, is "forced against her will over and over" to be the nightly entertainment at the pub for any patron who has five dollars and likes to see a cheating, whore wife punished! Jack, new girlfriend and children live happily ever after ... too bad Sally doesn't ..... unless you think swallowing a gallon of cum a night is good! Now that's an appropriate ending!

one of the worst stories I've read on this site. Unbelievable. This author needs help badly.

Just a sad sad story with little redeeming value, the sex was degrading, the end result lives destroyed, and frankly by the end I was just glad it was over. Given the direction the character Sally took, perhaps the ending was inevitable, but it was still a sad destructive end to a marriage. Bottom line...what was there for the reader, nothing but sadness. nothing to get involved in, no plot to delve into, destructive sex, and destroyed lives....so, kind a let down.

Just a sad sad story with little redeeming value, the sex was degrading, the end result lives destroyed, and frankly by the end I was just glad it was over. Given the direction the character Sally took, perhaps the ending was inevitable, but it was still a sad destructive end to a marriage. Bottom line...what was there for the reader, nothing but sadness. nothing to get involved in, no plot to delve into, destructive sex, and destroyed lives....so, kind a let down.

What a wuss... When Sally locked the door is when shit would have hit the fan. I'm non-judgemental about what people do or don't do with their sex lives. Whatever blows your skirt up. But the disrespectable bullshit I have no stomach for. She's lucky he didn't leave her at the pool table and head for home. Lastly, the BS about her going out and getting her needs met and returning happier. More likely she would have gotten more of what she got the time he found her on the toilet after 2 days of abuse.

I can't even judge the quality of the writing, the content is so disgusting.

Correction: What lady shes not a lady. Your second story and both of them bombed....

Poor ending. Six chapters and then a rushed ending?

Terrible! One has to wonder about the emotional stability of the author.

it started so well. got a bit silly, then descended into another ludicrous wimp story. I didn't read the last couple of pages because I just don't care how it ended. I'm sorry now that I wasted so much time reading it that far.

Let that cunt die.

you have the skills of a dead cat, I'm mean if your writing as a man you really fucking suck. My dog died last year and he could do a better job of being a man than the husband in this fucked crap. You should sit down and figure out if your a male or a transgender fag, because if you ever try and write from a male point of view, I will hunt you down and piss in your face you fucking queer.

you made him a cuchold , she could not escape being a slut.. shitty ending

the woman is mentally unfit and needs to be committed

she is a danger to herself and anyone around her

him eating her after she had the affair and he knew it was sick and degrading

Chap I-IV are OK, rest is excess. One objection I have within the genre is that Bad Guys are stereotypically reprehensible. BGs are physically superior to husbands and single-mindedly dedicated to the conquest of the Fair Lady as well as the humiliation of hubby. Perfectly Machavellian, they are highly accomplished sex-stars and are totally amoral, willing to resort to secret use of date-rape or other mood-enhancement drugs. In some fairness, in this story, the victim holds the Evil Villian at bay longer than usual (unlikely in the initial 'marking' scene that she actually would have escaped!)

I thought it was great I was worried it would go off the rails in chapter 6 but you brought it back to reality extremely well if a little sadly. Despite the criticisms by some totally deluded by their faith upon fidelity in life it reflects in many ways things that do go on though obviously for dramatic effect exaggerated from the norm. And fact is that many women in devoted marriages do get involved in sordid sexual affairs and no doubt some are not much less extreme than those you portray especially when drink and drugs are involved and suppressed sexual fantasies are unexpectedly relived as they were initially for Sally. So its sad that so many criticised the theme of your story, all I note have contributed anything to Literotica themselves so being critics probably comes easy to them while they get their their own sordid little pleasures here and ignoring in many cases what is going on under their noses in their own lives. So be it but again I say this is one of the best stories I have read here and despite what they say one of the more realistic too.

I hope to read more of your input so dont let them put you off.

It's a stupid story about stupid people doing stupid things.

STUPID

You are hereby charged with the murder of a good story. Don't do it again.

Pathetic, whiny fag. His wife takes drugs during a gangbang and he doesn't think it's enough to get custody? Really?

Unrealistic trash.

you had to introduce the seemingly out of character bit of the wife becoming a submissive slut, believing the guy she said would never have her about her husband's infidelity with the sexual predator's wife. However there is one glaring problem with the infidelity and I can't believe that the husband would not ask his wife a simple question,

what proof did he show you ? Since it didn't happen there can be no real proof and also didn't the faithful wife ask that question ? Then the author expects us to believe that the faithful wife of over a decade falls head over heels for the sexual predator. Women can smell a sexual predator a mile away but conveniently in this story she cannot. Not only does she immediately become a slut but she becomes a submissive slut. This not even close to reality,

It would have been better if the author had not continued with the submissive slut bull shit in the 4th chapter to the end of the story. For it's at that point that a not bad story starts to die quickly.

Pathetic.

and then in the final few chapters it became just another sad wimp story. Too bad.

all that writing and nothing its all shit, no growth nothing for the kids moms still a whore(really) courts gonna leave them with std mom? his lawyer gonna let him just let this bitch live free and clear,you do know people get mad at this kind of abuse, take a writing course on human interactions and redo- miss cuckold

Writing. 1* Reading must be fun, my blood boils....

The story started out strong, but then crumbled into trivia. Pity. It has a lot of potential.

i agree with the previous comment ,after a good start the whole story got a sick turn ,far to many totally unlogical situations occured

But then after he ate his enemies creampie from her, it was all downhill. A really sad story with too many grammatical errors for me.

Last two chapters went downhill fast. Too many absurdities to have any semblance of credibility.

Unfortunately, this piece of shit is still alive

In reading Loving Wives stories written by someone from the British Isles I am led to believe all their males have the insatiable desire to be cuckolded. What are they Closet fairies or latent gays? I guess they like a lot of mental anguish and pain in their marriages. No wonder their women seek foreign husbands if they can find one. There doesn't appear to be any men it that country.

Thanks for the effort

This story has too many parts...It should have ended in part 3!!! As soon as he found out about her disrespect for him, he should have divorced...Why to extend the suffering? For their children? they were old enough to understand, as they understood in the end!!! 1*

This is complete crap!

dick goes up for no reason... dick goes down for no reason... getting a divorce... not getting a divorce...

and the delusional "Now I'm not one for making snap decisions...."

bwaaahahahaha!

descended into cucky drivel fantasy inane rubish

Yuck. No more to be said. 1 *

Why is it that lately we are seeing so many English writers portraying the husbands as being limpwristed, pussy-whipped cuckolds? From what we are lead to believe the last real set of cojones belonged to Margaret Thatcher!!

Maybe he did love her but everything she did after the first cheat was way out of line and she should have been dealt with accordingly... BTB!! Counselling... Sure why not but get a good one and not one that doesn't see the wife's obvious problems. Get a counsellor that knows and always remembers that once a cheat always a cheat.

Then he decides to stay married for the twins! Really? They are fifteen and in today's world would have a good deal of say as to who they wanted to live with.

This story started out relatively well but descended into the abys about half way through.

Are all writers from the UK cuckolds?

sad thing this weak peace of shit have children there dna is just poisen and they should go roll up somewhere and die and releave the world of there spinelesseness before they spread out anymore dna

One day you'll get it right, though I think not. To much BS in the story. Repeating constant parts of the story, making the guy out to be a fool over, and over again.

If you read this idiot and his stories, be warned he/she is a man hating English cuck loser who has no clue how to write a real male lead character.....

Generally, I find the abusive, personal attacks on LW authors over the top and often offensive. In your case, I have to agree with every bit of vitriol sent at this author. Seriously, go out sometime and have a conversation with a man. Maybe you can learn about a man's point of view. This is just a pathetic effort. BTW, I would avoid any Royal Marines; if they read this, you will get an ass-kicking of biblical proportions. (Or arse, in your case) I never say this, but please, don't write anymore.

As Archie Bunker noted,"England is a fag country!"

Bad enough when he first eagerly guzzled the creampie, but when he just as hungrily scooped the cum out of her asshole with his tongue, your story and his character took

an unfathomable and unexplainable 180 degree turn.

Anyone who writes or enjoys reading about a person's complete and perverse humiliation has deep pathological problems mentally and sexually.

Chancing your own health is one thing but flirting with death sentences for your children so you can pursue deviant secual behavior is another.

Having read the above mentioned paragraph I jumped to final chapter, skimme it only so I could leave comment strongly suggesting you begin intense, in-patient therapy of an undetermined duration.

Usually I chuckle at such stories, but this one clearly indicates the author is psychotic

Horrible

1* A jellyfish has more spine and personality than the main character.

It's funny first I was going to start off by completely going off on this author, but then I had to reflect.

I'm a Dom, have been since my teenage years and I'm in my mid-40's now. I have been physically attractive enough to women that enough would have the initial attraction to me. But what got more interesting when they saw my Dom side. Most women reacted very much to it and I was able to bring out their submissive side. But for some of the women they became addicted to it where they couldn't think they could go back to a vanilla relationship again. I have always been careful not to date women that were married or even involved with other men. Just wasn't my thing. Plus I knew my interest with most of the women were temporary. I never lied to them and told them anything that was not true or promised them anything. In fact, the exact opposite I would tell women on the first or second date that they were not the last pussy I will ever fuck. And all of them would just look at me and not react negatively to that comment and in fact react positively to it (would take too long to explain why).

I was never into humiliating other men, or even emotionally hurting the women I dated and I never wanted to fuck up their lives. They got off on my dominant personality, even my sadism and the amount of sadism I expressed with each one was the level they could handle or wanted. Obviously I would push them a bit but only because I knew that would take them to a place they wanted since most of them had not experienced this type of relationship.

Anyway, so when first reading this story I was appalled by this author and was going to comment that he tricked us. He presented these two sane, intelligent, thoughtful people and then later on they became two totally different people. But I had to look back and I know there were more than a few women who hadn't told me they were in a relationship who I got involved with that got addicted to this type of relationship. It hit a part of them that went to the core. I wonder if addiction to drugs or alcohol has something to do with a submissive personality or tapping into a submissive part of the brain. These women would literally do anything for me. Again, while almost all the women reacted to my dominant personality, not all went all hard core. But many did and those were literally my slave in many ways. But I also pride myself on being a thoughtful and moral human being and have almost always watched out for their well being. But will admit there have been a few where I excercised that power more than I should have (as they say power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely), but nowhere to the extent of lasting long term damage.

Anyway, I wrote this because while at first I was appalled by this author doing a trick on us with these characters I realized that I never considered it from the perspective of a man who is not a dominant losing his woman to someone with a dominant personality. That she can be addicted to that man and he would feel powerless. And I can see how this story could have happened. And btw, almost all the women I have dated have had at least a college degree, and a good many with graduate degrees or higher from prestigious universities. Both because I have always been attracted to intelligent women, besides obvious physical attractiveness. But also I wanted the woman to know what is happening to her and her submission had to be given and her to be totally concious of it at all times. What this prick did in this story of drugging her or even making sure she was inebriated would totally turn me off. And I could never even get hard if it was rape.

Anyway, like I said I have always tried not to emotionally hurt any women I have dated or humiliate any other man, but I realize it has likely happened. As intelligent as one can be and as moral and thoughtful and caring one can be, power can corrupt at times and absolute power can definitely corrupt as well.

He's a wimp and a cuckold, she's a nypho that's for sure.

He reads all of these stories they remind him of his dead ex wife. Then he gets mad at himself and bitches like the fucking fat retard he really is.

fawguy88

This was a somewhat better written submission than some of your previous attempts. You did however fall again into the trap of portraying hubby as the cuck wimp who didn't stop his slut wife fucking around as long as he thought he had a semblence of control over the situation. My fears for where this tale was going alarmed me at that stage and I thought history was about to repeat itself. But for some reason even you thought that the wife yet truly beyond that which was acceptable to the husband and had him grow some balls and dump the slut in the end. She certainly came across as an addictive personality when in came to dogging and taking trains. One can only envisage dire sexual health consequences befalling her in the future of the life-threatening kind due to her indiscriminant gang fucking. You writing was of an acceptable standard and your main characters were well developed overall. However in spite of the husband's well meaning attempts to salvage the marriage, his wife's obvious addiction was out of control. This tale was more believable than some of your others so I saw definite improvement in this tale. Keep it up Dude!

Jack was clearly in a lot of pain throughout. By the time Sally locked him out of Betsy, telling her studs to ignore him, Jack should have just left. Then waiting overnight for the next round, knowing he was done with her.... thinking he owed her anything at all, after her disrespect multiple times, was absurd. That was time to drive home, call her dad with instructions where to find her, and change the locks on the house. Jack really tried to compromise with Sally, had no reason to feel responsible in any way for the decisions Sally made.

First and.last story by this author that I'll waste time on. Classic British cuck author.

Horrible.

Dumber than annonymice cracking on each other

This author must be living in a parallel universe. How pathetic does a man have to be to not divorce a wife that was openly cheating on him and helping to humiliate him. Why would anyone be so stupid to stay with such a person and the encourage her to go back to being a super slut. Are there such weak and sick men that actually would go two rounds of this nonsense before dumping the whore.

Writing that kind of garbage should be considered a felony.

Third story Ive come across of yours which has the same shitty plot. Wife is a cheating slut who is remorseful at first, wimpy husband who tries to reconcile for the sake of their family and eventually they split but only after the husband endures more pain because the slut cant keep her legs closed.

Apparently you are a Brit, but I am pretty sure USA English and British English have the same meanings for most words (bare and bear were mis-used more than once in the story). Grammar and the use of pronounds is also similar for the most part.

You may be dislexic or write while under the influence because sentence structure is often completely wrong - in any version of the English language. A writer must remember that the reader needs to be able to understand the written work, in order to understand the story. You apparently can't follow that direction. I know you have submitted much work, but I have stopped reading them as the effort is too painful. I think I disliked the story, but can't separate the quality of writing from the plot, so your intent failed.

.. how this shit cuck writer gets anything more then a two is beyond me.. I think he manages to manipulate the markings or the other alternative is that we have too many others who enjoy being closet cucks!

Total cuck shit, appalling story.

Scores fittingly 1/5

I wish I could find this author's grave so I could defecate on it.

Fawguy, good writing. With that said, I felt he should have divorced her ass in chapter 3. She got off way too easily. She should have been shunned by friends, family, and everyone between, I can see everyone come together for her in the hospital. But he should not give her any loving touches. Divorce when she get out of hospital

Men like that don’t exist. And they when made up don’t make for interesting characters. Decent story flow. Poor character design.

One of the worst stories on this site.

What sort of person writes stories such as this shit.

I hope you stopped writing, l sincerely do. The literary world can Dom without this sort of rubbish

Still a resounding 1/5 wish l could give it less

She must’ve thought, “What do I have to do to get rid of this guy?!” Lousy Femdom agitprop fantasy.

Great story!

Yuck. Horrific shit written here. Why would he stay with her or put up with it?

Why would he wait around for 30 plus hours and bother going to pick her up from the toilet? Why would he care?

wow... hard to imagine that after so much betrayal, and so much pain, the husband would want to see his wife having sex with strangers. Maybe it started when he cleaned her out after she had been with another guy. IDK.... up to that point I was ok with the story. I simply don't 'understand how it turned out this way.

Ah well, it's your story and thank you for sharing it.