All Comments on 'The Neighbour Who Had It All'

Re: "You should take off your shirt and soak up some vitamin D."

One doesn't "soak up" Vitamin D from sunshine. The body makes vitamin D when it is exposed to the sun's rays.

All u got out of that story was about vitamin D? Kinda weird to be worrying about that when the story was so hot! Ignore the wackos, keep writing

You have to write part 2, this was great.

That was the most exciting story I've read in a long time. I'm 64 and would love that to happen to me. Great story!! I would suck you and you fuck me anytime, and I'm married.

Well written and fun. Thanks.

Great stuff!

That was a riveting story. Enjoyed the build up.Hoping for a sequel.

I want more pleeeeeease!!!!

I would love to read more of Alan's new life.

more .... oh pretty please...with a cherry on top ....write more

A really great story. it just happens that the lucky fellow has my real life name. ''True''

This is a reasonably solid piece of writing. It generates some heat, though the dom/sub dialog might not appeal to some (it does sound a bit contrived).

The narration overall is good, though it could be better. The writer is guilty of drawing conclusions rather than guiding the reader to them (e.g. "He quickly left, and in so doing, failing to seal the deal on what had probably been a sure thing.").

Finally, this story also illustrates the perils of using a thesaurus. For example, eventuate is used incorrectly; you eventuate to a conclusion of something as in "leads to". As a result, the phrase "knowing they'd never eventuate with a woman as hot as this" doesn't make sense. Still, this is a minor point compared to the narration issue.

Her dick is 10", his is 8", her breasts are E-cups, he's inexperienced, shy and has likely never had a taste of penis before, yet he's supposed to deepthroat her right down to the nuts on the first attempt? Get real. Deepthroating a normal-size dick is possible, with a lot of practice. If he doesn't already have that experience, and enough control over what she's doing to back her out of his throat into his mouth as soon as he feels the gag reflex? The result is the same as shoving your fingers down someone's throat to induce vomiting. Not very erotic, unless you're into that sort of thing... and usually vomit ends a session very quickly and ruin what otherwise would've been a good thing in a very unsexy conclusion. That's unfortunate, as she sounds hot and would make a tasty mouthful if size and depth of oral penetration were kept to something reasonable for this relative n00bie. Width isn't an issue for oral (although it can make anal very awkward) but length is and, on a first attempt at going down, unfortunately anything more than a mouthful will go to waste. Overcoming the reflexive response of responding to a foreign object in the throat by gagging is a learned skill, as is learning to consciously force the throat muscles open a little wider to accommodate a penis without blocking the airway; even then, anything oversize may be awkward to accommodate... deal with it.

There *used* to be a good explanation of how to do this on www2.freedomacres.com/library/deepthroathow2.html but that site looks to be dead now; the text is recoverable from web.archive.org if you're curious. It's a little like trying to read some of the descriptions of anal penetration here without interrupting with "no, first you lubricate, then you dilate, then you penetrate... get it right this time or it'll be more of a pain in the arse than it's worth - and there won't be a second try". The throat is narrow and the anus tight in comparison to a vagina; sometimes "bigger is better, shove it in and pound away" is the wrong approach as one must take the limitations of each portion of anatomy into account. Make things too big, then it doesn't fit.

If the boy is inexperienced, his ability to take this ridiculously oversized monster will be limited accordingly... no matter how badly he wants to satisfy the hot porn star.

Why no second part??I loved it.

OMG!!! Please please continue, seriously hot

All I can say is I would love to see your dress and lingerie & high heels, while she danced me & me alone. after which she would take me into the shower leathering me down before applying a razor to every inch of my body shaving off all my hair eating nothing but smooth silk baby skin she would take me to a room Andres me in sexy lingerie with stockings and high heels, applying my makeup and turning me into a woman before introducing me to someone very attractive gentleman who happened to be well hung and horny as hell

Alan is now a well cared for submissive, we should all be so lucky!

Wonderful to re-read this gem. If ever you lack inspiration for writing, doing scenes from their ongoing business and interpersonal lives would be verrrry well received by your readers.

Thanks for sharing your talents.

Wish I was Alan! :)

So hot.

Great love story