All Comments on 'Wives of a Feather'

You poured a lot of effort into it. i wish I could say it was great but it wasn't. It was tedious. The sex in it wasn't very erotic and the long parts in between the sex didn't add much. My most constructive suggestion would be to cut the story by two-thirds. Spend as much time cutting it as you did writing it. Your one of those who writes too many words, falls in love with your words, and can't stand to cut them. Cutting is one of the best things such a writer can learn to do. Then go back and add some eroticism to the sex scenes, Describe the build up before the penetration. How are the characters feeling during the sex act? Is the woman having orgasms? If so, why? I give it three stars for effort. Try again.

good LW story

We missed you on this site. Keep it up and well written.

It's really so rare to see and Indian/Pakistan story that's well written and constructed. It was a bit long, but very interesting. 5 stars.

Welcome back! the expat Pakistani will relate well to the story

Unlike many, very believable.