All Comments on '1st Affair Ch. 01'

So damned powerful I can't wait for the sequels.

Only correction is to replace "grinded" with "ground."

...don't forget that one does not get "drunker and drunker" but "more and more drunk", as well as the "grinded/ ground" thing. This story is great, but don't forget to hit the spelling and grammar button, though this one is far better than most!

Please keep in mind that I wrote this in January of 2002. It was the 10th or 12th submission of mine out of 128 (and counting) that have been posted. Although I have always had a knack for describing scenes and feelings, my grammar has truly come a long way. (I'm still fond of terms such as "grinded" and "thrusted", even though they are not words in the English language, they are words in the "X-Factor" language and I will still use them from time to time). Remember - it's about turning on the reader, and bringing them into the story - not acheiving an 'A' in English! ;)

Work this good are few and far between!!!! Can't wait to read some of your others X-Factor. Keep up the excellent work!!

OMG! I loved that! I agree that works this good are few and far between. All the more reason for you to keep on writing :)

I thank you for this story, it is great to see a story this quality.I love cheating wife storys and I have read alot of them!! And well you blew me away with this one, keep up the sensational writing will be looking for more like this!!

Avatar of the Moon

I am quite stiff right now. Great job

As I said, very Hard!

But she's not a wife, she's a cheating girlfriend. HUGE difference.

You could benefit from the help of an editor. Hearing about her short legs, tiny feet and small hands over and over took away from the story for me. You only need to mention those descriptions once. Repeating them is just beating the reader over the head with them.

You have the makings of an entertaining story here. Using the help of an editor, you could learn about passive voice and POV shifts. Fixing those problems would really improve your writing.

You left a comment mentioning that it's about turning the reader on, not perfect spelling and grammar, but that's all part of it. If you spell a word incorrectly or make up words of your own, it interrupts the flow of the writing, which in turn effects the excitement level of your reader.

You're a good writer. Some editing could make you great. :0)

If a porn movie could convey these feelings, looks, glances, flirting, attitudes, and effects then I would watch porn movies. This is erotic writing at its best.

Also, ignore the ignoramuses who natter about editing etc.,. Not one of them can do more than jack off while reading your stories. They natter because they cannot write. Keep up the good work.

irchristo@aol.comc

you the best!

These stories do make people stiff. Keep it uP.

Wow, great story! Actually, right now my wife is out fucking another man (with my knowledge as we are in an open relationship) and I love it when she comes home with 1 or more loads of cum in her pussy. Can't wait till she gets home soon so I can unload another into her slut-wife pussy ;)

Great story line, just so sexy as well. Will be looking for the rest of this set..

9 inch cock. 98% are between 4 and 8 inches. 9" is off the scale and almost certainly painful and would stretch a vagina beyound the yield point. I gave it a 2.

just a matter of time, temperature and surroundings. TK U MLJ LV NV

It is true that 98% of all cocks are smaller than nine inches. But a nin inch will not destroy a woman. My wife can take a ten inch (10) realistic dildo with no problem if we go slow.

this is one of the best stories, one of the best writers on Literotica! the story is well-detailed, the plot is carefully unraveled, which engages the reader thoroughly. You can almost 'hear' the moans and the bed creaking...

2 thumbs up!!

Won't they ever learn ?? "1" !

She was a slut and will continue to be a slut. I won't read any farther.

Ditto. Reformed arse. read no further.

Most boring and talentless drivel. "1*" !

The author has a fiendish gift for mind melding in brain of cheater, the naive cheater's boyfriend ( explored in later installments ) and the erstwhile stud in heated moment. The critics here had a field day exscoriating the story in comments and then hastened to next chapter so their pure sensibilities could be further outraged.

I talked my last girlfriend into trying three way sex, having a guy party with us some times. It was going well other than the fact I assumed most guys had about the same size dick. As we progressed into this life style she became accustomed to having a mix of guys. A few did become regulars. She also grew fond of them with big cocks. It was clear after a year or so that there was no way she was going to go back to having sex with me alone. I was good with that....she did remind me periodicly that this was my idea which pretty much took care of even asking her to quit setting other guys.

well written, well paced, great sex,,the 9 inch cock is the inducement that pushes her over the edge,, she has to see and feel it.. she feels torn, guilty, but you know she will do it again,,love it.

Typical loose whore. Doesn't deserve Randy.

My boyfriend gave me an anklet. He was always giving me jewelry. At school a boy in our study group mentioned it. Others joined in the conversation. It was the general view of the group that my boyfriend wanted everyone to know that although he considered me to be his girlfriend, he was allowing me the freedom to fuck whomever I desired. At that moment I could not have loved him more. I went out that weekend with a number of guys in my study group. Over that Friday, Saturday and Sunday five of the guys shared me several times each. When I got back to my boyfriend Sunday evening, I thanked him for the anklet and giving me the freedom to enjoy sex with others. The world stood still. He went into the bedroom and put all of my stuff in sacks, then took them to the door and demanded that I leave. Apparently anklets are sometimes merely intended as jewelry.

What a great story

What a nasty cheating slut and the dumbest ignorant boyfriend.

I was drawn in by the more recent ‘.5’ chapters’ high marks but of course I was disappointed when I read the original work. Nothing particularly redeeming in this story. She can be a slut all she wants, and while I feel sorry for Randy, they aren’t married and she can do what she wants. Clearly she isn’t ready for marriage or even a serious relationship.

I don’t understand how the author or the Mods put this in LW. It’s more like Erotic Couplings.

Not an enjoyable read. Not particularly stimulating.

Low marks.

~Enkidu

Loved it, what a description tale of a seduction - of a little sweetheart that very much wanted - and needed to be seduced. I don't care what others say, I think Randy has got himself a real winner assuming he can keep her.

1) These are works of fiction & cater to people w/specific interests. How people get "outraged" or even "disgusted" is beyond me. 2) Except for a few typos, this was great!

This what we call cheating wife . Nice story

This trick is 19 and already bored of her boyfriend, refusing him intimacy, and avoiding him. Just be a halfway decent person and break it off, let him move on. Then you can go be a slut with whatever stockroom bozo you want without repercussion, besides the eventual unwanted pregnancy and abandonment which is sure to ensue. She belongs to the streets

Anonny below "It Was Because Of An Anklet"

The comment was far better than the story! Comment 5* Story 1*

I thought that this site had rules about under 18 sexual activity. The MC in this story is described as having sex with 21 dicks before she turned 18.

She is a whore