by AsnyLark
An enjoyable premise; wife's first time to a dinner-party with her family and getting it on with her husband during the dinner-party. I liked the fantasy of hypnotizing her so she could relax; adding the bit where she figured it out was a nice touch of realism.
By the bye, ignore haters who spew nothing of any constructive use whatsoever, and continue to work on being a better storyteller. I look forward to your next story.
I like the premise - hypnotized for a stressful event, but I just didn't get what was happening here. Is it Carl or Clark? Is that on purpose - like she is looking at him as one guy when she is hypnotized, and a different guy when she is not, or is that just an editing issue? Also, could have had a lot more fun with her while she was under, but I don't really see what the hypnotism adds to this story.
Thanks for posting this story, I thought it flowed very well, an interesting story which was beautifuly writen.
Pete.
I just need more headboards banging the walls. I bit goofy on the auto lingo for sex. Her engines revels or something. Huh?
Really adorable. I would hypnotize and sedate her if I was married to someone that neurotic and self absorbed. How do you go through life and especially a marriage when all you ever do is focus on the seemingly bad side of things and then dwell on those things until they become emotionally overblown. I did enjoy the way he was like a cat playing with a mouse.
Quite a good story but needed editing. The mix up between Carl and Clarke, too much purple prose. I didn't need the engine analogy. The whole story was told in a frantic voice which mirrored her anxiety too closely.