All Comments on 'A Cleaning Adventure Ch. 03'

A dom who can't attract and keep a sub without blackmail pictures is a poor excuse for a man. With an attitude like that, I have no doubt he will be starting her into scenes, gruops, parties and then slavery. All because she WANTS and NEEDS it.

I will not speak to the merits of the plot itself, or the realism or lack thereof of the characters. Instead, I will simply urge you to get an editor -- much of your prose is awkward, which undermines the actual story.

I love what is happening but I hate the guy so much its detracting from the writing. First I hate that she's married, no matter how bad it is in a relationship you should get out of it first before having anyone else. Then that he keeps blackmailing her pisses me off beyond compare as he shouldn't need to do that. How many woman really did not want what he was doing but had to because he blackmailed them. I truly hate this character, if I met him in real life I'd punch his lights out and not think twice, and I'm normally not a violent person. one thing about the writing when you switched in the first chapter from her just explaining to an unknown audience to her talking to him is funky, I think you should probably start with her talking to him. like starting off I remember what brought me to you etc as you talk to him throughout the rest off the story (well at least so far). Other than that the normal spelling mistakes here and there that would be caught with a good read through. If I didn't hate him so much and dislike that she's married this would probably be one of my favorite stories.

Blessed Be

Lady A

Defintely don't like the married part. But the rest I absolutely love! The guy is turning me on! Wish I was her! Also, I like that you refered to the aftershocks. I've always called them aftershocks, but hadn't heard anyone else until now describe them that way. Good story. Can't wait to read the rest!

good job.

Although an editor would be helpful, I am really enjoying this story.

Yes the married aspects disturb me, but they make sense in this story of a woman's fantasy. The pictures also fit! If anything they heat our victim up even more. I actually want to see her viewing other pictures of bondage later on.

Being a mistress myself i understand the way this man speaks to her. However, I have and never will use pictures as blackmail. Masters can manipulate their pets to do whatever they want especially when they are married. Now for him to us a cleaning job as a cover up is in many ways kind of disturbing. I can see what he meant by the way she desired to be controlled. Her home life is routine and procedure. And this is something new and exciting that makes her mind wander and she is exploring new options and new desires that will fulfill her mind and her wants and needs as a woman. If she didn't desire to know and explore more she should have backed off when he said he was going to spank her for being late. This is a good story... its raw and really doesn't need an editor. It is one of them stories that the mind of the reader can turn into whatever they desire. Being married isn't exactly a deal breaker in these types of situations. I am currently married and still continue my life. The pet is always in control because she knows her limits and she knows what is right and what is wrong. Having these desires fulfilled may in turn spark her marriage to new beginnings and maybe it wont come to an end.

So besides the usual degradation of this woman by violence, you have to add blackmail as well? No thank you: we get enough examples of human depravity to human in the news. Who needs this story?

Also, the jump from first-person to third-person narrative was very poorly done.

seems like you enjoyed the story to me and joust wanted to bitch like the fag from Calf. you must me

This story is building to a nice climax, please continue.

keep building the story please do not end it far to soon.