A Matter of Trust

Do I or don't I? To stay or to go? Confront or not say a word. Divorce or just walk Away? Decisions, decisions, decisions!

I've heard the old "Are you better off with her or without her. The better question is can I live with what she's done or can't I. And therein lies the rub.

I've loved her since the day I met her in the nineth grade. I know most people don't believe in it, but it really was love at first sight. On her part? Not so much. She turned me down the first nine times I asked her for a date.

Oh, right. She is Kathleen Marie Daltry and I'm Robert Dalton and I've always maintained that the fates or whatever Gods may be wanted us to be together. Why else would they have seen to it that I fall for her at first sight and then make sure we would always be close together? Our assigned lockers were next to each other. In classes with assigned seating Daltry and Dalton ended sitting next to each other. In classes where there were assigned projects the teachers always set the teams up alphabetically using the class roster and Daltry and Dalton always ended up on the same team.

In the eleventh grade, after the third such pairing, I asked her out again stating that the God's must want us to be together otherwise they wouldn't see to it that we were constantly being thrown together. She laughed at me, but said yes to the date. The first led to a second which led to a third and by the sixth we were an established couple and she was wearing my letter sweater (track, swimming, wrestling and baseball) proudly for all to see.

Prom night found us in a room at the Motel 6 where Kathy gifted me with her virginity. Thankfully I was able to make the event a memorable one for her thanks to the teachings of Nancy Wilde, Beverly Abbeg and Pauline French. Especially Pauline. She was the one who taught me how to eat pussy the right way. Kathy was most appreciative of that part of the evening. After that night Kathy and I managed to find a bed two or three times a week.

Graduation slowed us down a little as we both had full time jobs trying to make some money so as to have pocket money when we went to college. We were both going to Eastern Michigan which was right in town.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Everything seemed to be going great for us and then one Wednesday as we were having lunch together (our jobs were only two blocks from each other) I asked her what she would like to do Friday evening. She looked away from me and softly said:

"I already have a date for Friday."

I looked at her stunned. It took several seconds for me to find my voice.

"A date? With another guy?"

She still wouldn't look at me.

"Who is it Kath? Talk to me!"

"You don't know him. He's a guy I work with."

"A guy you work with? How long have you been stabbing me in the back with this guy?"

"It's not like that. I only had two boyfriends before you and they both turned out to be jerks. You proved to me that there were good guys around. I just want to date a little before I settle down to become a wife and a mother. We can still date, but I want to date other guys also."

"Kathy, you have been the focus of my attention since I first laid eyes on you and the light of my life since our first date. But as besotted with you as I am I am not stupid when it comes to you. The fact that you want to date others tells me that you aren't satisfied with me or what I have to offer so you are going to look elsewhere.

"We will NOT date while you date others! I will NOT be the guy who will do until something better comes along. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to get back to work" and I got up and left her sitting there.

Was it easy for me to walk away from her? Absolutely not! I meant it when it when I told her she was the light of my life. That the feeling wasn't returned just about killed me.

I spent the afternoon at work hoping Kathy would call me and tell me she had cancelled her Friday night date, but I didn't get that call and I didn't get one that evening either nor did I get one on Thursday.

Friday I decide I wasn't going to sit home and sulk. Friday night was country/western night at the VFW and when my parents asked me if I wanted to go with them I said yes. There was a good chance I could find someone to dance with and if not I could do the line dances.

I was sitting at the table sipping my Vernors Ginger Ale and watching my parents waltz when I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned to find Bev Abbeg standing there.

"What are you doing sitting there on your ass when I need a dance partner?"

"I didn't see you when I came in and I sure wasn't going to dance with anyone else."

"Oh you silver tonged devil you. Come on; get your butt off that chair."

We moved out onto the dance floor and got maybe one minute of waltz before it ended. The next tune was good for a two-step so we stayed out on the floor. As we danced Bev asked:

"Where is your other half?"

"Out being someone else's other half."

"Oh my; sore subject?"

"Very."

"Okay then; how about them Rockies?"

� laughed and said "It ain't that sore of a subject."

"How about we just dance?"

"Works for me."

"We finished the set and then she joined me at a table. We talked and caught up on things that had happened since the last time we had talked. I found out that her boyfriend Randy was the male counterpart of Kathy in that he wanted to date others and that Bev was the female counterpart of me in that she said "Hell no!"

We talked and danced until both sets of parents said it was time to go. I asked her out for a date on Saturday and she said yes.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I didn't have to be to work until ten so I was still at home at nine when Kathy called. She acted like last night never happened and asked me what we were going to do that night and wanted to know what time I was going to pick her up.

"Were you not listening or paying attention when I let you know how I felt about your dating others?"

"It isn't any big thing Bobby; you will get at least six dates for every one date that someone else gets. You are still my main man baby."

"I have no interest in main man status Miss Daltrey. I am an only man kind of guy. Now if you will excuse me I have to get to work" and I hung up on her.

My date with Bev was fun. Right up until I got her home. Then it got great.

"My folks went to Vegas for the weekend. Would you like to come in and show me if you remember what I taught you?"

I did and indeed I remember. Sunday morning Bev woke up to me licking her pussy which led to a romp followed by a blowjob and then another romp. After showers, separately, or we would never get out of the house, we went to the Village Inn for breakfast.

Over pancakes and bacon, she reminded me of why we broke up the first time (no spark) and said she didn't feel any different. Then she asked me if I was up for a friend with benefits relationship for a while. Kathy was history so I of course said yes. We finished our breakfast and hurried back to her place to get one more in before getting the place cleaned up and ready for her parent's homecoming.

I stopped leaving work for lunch as I didn't want to chance running into Kathy at the caf�. I did see her Saturday night when I took Bev to Skate City. Kathy was there with some guy I'd never seen before.

Maybe it was just my imagination but I thought she looked a little shocked to see me out on a date. Maybe that is why she thought she could date other guys on me � she didn't think I could get anyone else.

I saw her a few more times, but never with the same guys. I swear that the look on her face whenever she saw me with Bev was saying "Why are you doing this to me?"

++++++++++++++++++++

Then it was time to go to college. It meant the end of Bev and me because she was going to Ohio State and I was staying home in Ypsilanti and going to Eastern Michigan.

The first day brought a surprise. Kathy and I had the same majors and I ended up in three classes with her on Monday/Thursday and four together on Tuesday/Friday.

There were several other high school classmates also attending EMU, among them Nancy Wilde and Harlina Collins, both of whom I'd had a relationship with at one time. Lina was in two of my classes and Nan was in one.

The first day of class was on a Wednesday and at the end of my eleven o'clock I headed for the cafeteria to get a bite to eat and review my class schedule to see if there were any days where I could work my part-time job. My parents had given me a car for my sixteenth birthday and agreed to pay the insurance until I graduated or dropped out, but plates, gas, oil and all the other stuff was on me so I had to work.

I was laying out a schedule on paper when Kathy sat down at the table and asked:

"How have you been Bobby?"

"Pretty good Kath; how about yourself?"

"Not so good."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm missing you.".

"Why? Every time I see you you are with some guy. Where would you find the time to miss me?"

"I've been missing you ever since you broke up with me."

"Wasn't my fault Kathy. All on you."

"But it didn't have to be Bobby. I didn't want to give you up."

"All you had to do Kathy was to not date other guys."

"I explained my reasons Bobby, and I made sure to tell you that you would get the majority of my time."

"I didn't want most of your time Kathy; I wanted all of it."

"We are starting out on a new adventure for the next four years. Any chance we could have a fresh start?"

"Are you over your wanderlust?"

"I am."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Bobby, I am."

And we were back together.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Freshman and sophomore years passed by with no troubles and at the start of our junior year I started looking into prices for engagement rings. I narrowed it down to a ring at Price Jewelers. I bought the ring after making sure that I could return it if my proposal received a no. I was told I could return it without penalty if I did it within ten days. After that there would be a restocking fee.

Wednesday, while having lunch with Kathy in the school cafeteria, I asked her what she would like to do om Friday and she told me she had a family thing she couldn't get out of so we made a date for Saturday.

Thursday my cousin Wendall called and asked me if I had anything going for Friday and when I told him no he asked me to join him for dinner as he wanted me to meet the girl he was going to ask to marry him. I told him I'd love to meet her.

Friday, I got ready to drive over to Ann Arbor and at the last minute I decided to take the ring I'd purchased to give Wendall an idea of what he was going to need.

I met him at Antoine's and he introduced me to Susan. We had a few drinks and talked before we ordered our meal. I was reading the menu when Wendall said 'Isn't that Kathy?" I looked up from the menu and saw Kathy and some guy I'd never seen before being shown to a table on the other side of the room. I put the menu down and said:

"Sorry guys, but my evening just turned to crap and I've lost my appetite. Hopefully I'm going to ruin someone else's night and then go home. I'll give you a call tomorrow and explain."

I got up and walked to Kathy's table.

"Excuse me" I said to the guy. "I thought I knew all of Kathy's family. How are you related to her?"

At the sound of my voice Kathy looked up from her menu and her face lost color as she saw me.

The guy said "I'm not, but what business is it of yours?"

"Well, I was under the impression we were exclusive and when I asked her what she would like to do tonight she told me she had a family thing she couldn't get out of so I naturally assumed you were family."

Then I turned to Kathy and took the ring box out of my pocket, opened it up and let her see the ring.

"I intended to offer this to you tomorrow. Fortunately, I was told it is returnable. Do not bother calling me. We are through!"

I turned and walked out of the restaurant. Was I bummed? Yes, but I was also relieved. Bummed because I thought she loved me; relieved because I found out what a liar she was before tying myself to her.

Saturday was a work day for me so I was up and out of the house by seven. I got off work at five and got to Price before they closed and returned the ring. All I told them was that she said no.

When I got home mom told me Kathy had called twice in the last half hour.

"You need to give her a call. The poor girl sounds desperate."

"I don't need to talk to her. We broke up last night."

"Why? You two were so good together."

"She lied to me. Twice as a matter of fact. Once when she told me she was done dating other guys and again when she lied to me about what she would be doing last night. I can't trust her and I won't waste my time on someone I can't trust."

Kathy called several times over the weekend, but I hung up each time I heard her voice. Monday at school it was harder to avoid her, but I managed. Luckily, for me anyway, Kathy had an eleven o'clock that ran until eleven fifty-five while my ten o'clock let out at ten-fifty so I was able to take my lunch in the cafeteria without having to worry about her.

Her date from Friday night stopped by the table and said "Are you happy that you fucked up my date with Kathy?"

"Are you happy that your date with Kathy ended a relationship that was going to end up in marriage?"

"I guess we both lost" he said before walking away. He was no sooner gone than Harlina Collins sat down at my table.

"How have you been Bobby?"

"Fair to midlin Lina. You?"

"Bout the same. You and Kathy done?"

"Why would you ask me that?"

"I've seen her around with the guy that just walked away so I wondered."

"The guy who just walked away is why Kathy and I are done."

"Too soon to try and get on your dance card?"

"What happened to Barry?"

"Caught him doing something he shouldn't have been doing with someone he shouldn't have been doing it with."

"You sure you want to be on my dance card? I seem to remember you telling me I no longer lit your fire."

"I was younger and a little bit stupid at the time."

"I don't know if I'm ready for another relationship right now. I still haven't come to grips with the end of my relationship with Kathy."

"That's my job. To help you get passed it; to take your mind off it."

"You will be taking on quite a chore. I've been hung up on that girl since the nineth grade and when I say hung up I really do mean that."

"I know just what you're feeling sweetie because I felt the same way about Barry, but you can get over her with help and that would be my job."

She didn't get the job done although she did give it a damned good try. The problem of course was that Kathy was always around. With the same majors we still ended up in some of the same classes or I'd see her in the cafeteria. And every time I saw her I felt "Why wasn't I enough for her? Why did she always try and get back with me only to end up wanting to date some other guy?"

I couldn't be all bad. Bev came after me and so had Harlina and Pauline. Pauline? Pauline and I had a history back in high school, but she had gone back east somewhere to go to college. Family problems of some sort had her coming back here. Harlina had family problems that caused her to drop out of school and move to Ohio.

Harlina had only been gone a week when Pauline sat down at my table in the cafeteria and said:

"Hi Bob. Where are we going on our date?"

I can be an asshole sometimes, and remembering how she broke up with me ("Sorry Bob; I just don't want to date you anymore") I said:

"How about the hotel 6 on Park Street?"

She pulled me up short when she said "Works for me. You know where I live. Pick me up at six" and she got up and walked away. She wasn't even out of sight when Kathy sat down and said:

"I just saw Pauline walk away. What did she want?"

"Me."

"You need someone who will stick with you. First Bev walked away and then Harlina. When are you going to get your head out of your ass and get back with me?"

"You just said it Kathy. I need someone who will stick with me and that ain't you. How many times have you walked away from me to date some other guy?"

"That's what you are supposed to do when you are young. Date others, learn things, satisfy your curiosities. So why can't you date me while I'm dating others?"

"Because I already know all I need to know about you so I don't need to date you anymore."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I've learned you can't be trusted so I don't need to waste any more time on you."

I looked at my watch and then said "Got to run or I'll be late for Gibson. Nice talking to you Kath. Take care" and I got up and hurried to class.

I might have behaved like an asshole when I set up the date with Paulie, but when I picked her up at six I didn't head for the motel. I asked her if she'd eaten yet and she said yes so I headed toward the Cinema Six complex. It was in the opposite direction from the motel so Paulie asked me where we were going.

"Cinema Six to see a movie and then maybe hit Harry's Shake Shack."

"I thought we were going to a motel."

"I was just being an asshole. I remembered the way you dumped me and I was just being pissy."

"But I've been looking forward to it all day."

"Seriously?"

"You bet."

I hung a U-turn and five minutes later I was in the motel office getting a room.

As we entered the room Paulie asked me if I remembered all she'd taught me back in high school and when I said I did she said "Prove it" and she shed her clothes, laid back on the bed and waited for me to do just that. I ate her to an orgasm and then it was suck and fuck, suck and fuck until I couldn't get it up any more.

As we were pulling out of the motel parking lot in the morning Paulie said "That was fun. When can we do it again?"

"It will be a couple of weeks before I can afford a motel room again."

"Don't want to wait that long. We can do it at my house and use my bed."

"Oh sure; and then your parents would kill me."

"They won't be there. My dad works afternoons so we will have the house all to ourselves."

"What about your mother?"

"Don't have one of those anymore. She ran off with some guy. That's why I had to drop out of school and come back to take care of my dad. He was pretty broke up over it."

"Tonight then?"

"My dad leaves for work at two-thirty so say around four to make sure he doesn't forget something and come back?"

"My last class today lets out at two, but I'm scheduled to work from two-thirty to six-thirty. Soonest I can be there is six forty-five."

"That will still give us four hours. To save some time I'll be naked and waiting."

And she was. Naked and ready. It was a repeat of the previous night in that she left me with barely enough strength to walk out to my car when it was time for me to go.

Pauline and I lasted until the middle of our senior year before she told me, following another exhausting night, that she was ending things with me.

"I like you Bob and I enjoy the hell out of what we do together, but there is no real spark between us. I like you Bob, I like you a lot, but there is no love there. When we first started I thought the like would turn into love, but it hasn't so I see no sense in dragging things out. Don't hate me Bob; please don't hate me. I'm just doing what is best for both of us."

She was right and I knew it. I knew there was nothing long term in our relationship, buy damn; she was a holy terror in bed and I was damned sure going to miss that.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My split from Pauline was only a week old when Kathy again caught me in the school cafeteria. She sat down at the table and said:

"I hear that you and Pauline are no longer. Any truth to it?"

"Sad, but true."