All Comments on 'A Rush of Blood to the Head'

Bitter experience says she probably is doomed and Luke will disappear from her life the moment the shit hits the fan.

A very interesting story. I can't wait to see how this plays out.

but I hope there's more - much more - to this story and can hardly wait for the rest.

Referring to Luke, Lucy states:

"I heard someone whisper that his father was an incredibly powerful judge"

Luke also mentions having an "influential father" during the first dinner encounter but later, in relating his tale of woe, Luke tells Lucy:

"..I was a mama's boy, and she was the last of my family... I have a sister I don't talk to, though. I don't count her. She sucks."

Sooo, is Luke lying to her? Is his ol' man still alive. Not that it matters much at this point in the story but it a bit baffling.

I too want to hear more of this story - you're a great story teller! caint wait!

that I find a story on literotica that is intelligent, interesting, and real and that engages my emotions while making me think....This was one of those stories. I do not know whether I want to know more about Lucy, Luke...I fear for them...I wish for them. The story is wonderful as it is,

Very skillful weaving of details to paint a vivid portrait of all the characters. The heroine is especially well drawn and we are drawn to her earthy sexuality and her impulsive needs to have sex with Luke. Hints of conflict are dropped all about and this lucious story is open to all manner of drama waiting in the wings. The sex is powerfully erotic by selected understantement as befits the female voice. I'm hooked.

Really good stuff.

I hope her husband persuades Lucy to come off the pill so they can try for a baby, then she and Luke can enjoy some amazing pregnancy risk sex.

A cheating wife unhappy with husband. Not in love with him, get a divorce. All men are not wimps, gay or cuckolds like most men are presented to be in in this category and the wives are whores.

A rare five from me.

You write incredibly well - awesome story line, and it begs for more chapters - this has to continue to improve.

Go Girl.....

The descriptions of the attractions and doubts are heartfelt.

Do ya think? Formula: (1) paint hubby as an ass hole, (2) ignore the concept of dealing with the problem directly (counseling, divorce, etc.), (3) paint new man as a caring dream boat, (4) yada, yada, yada.

I have to say that this is truly amazingly good writing and dialogue that literally right off the page and the makes the story really is a move with ease. I don't impress easy but I have to say that this is pretty impressive writing.

That being said there is something deeply disturbing about the story and especially about the cunt whore wife. And let's face .. that IS what Lucy is. The fact that she got married for the wrong reasons and then had a BAD miscarriage .... the fact that Lucy really does not like her life and cannot fit into group with other wives... Is not really a reason to destroy her own marriage.

The opening of the story ...and later on throughout the story ...shows the wife to be involved in a pretty adult and sophisticated sexual relationship that it sounds fun and seems to he sexually satisfying to her AND her husband.

Yet because she is a little bored and is having some second thoughts about the marriage and Motherhood ...she decides to destroy everything?

is this women psychotic or just a normal woman of 21st century??

I guess the AUTHOR is going for some sort of blue collar working class thing with this wife but it kind of comes across as a stereotype . The wife is NOT as well educated ...comes from a different background and she does not really belong ... so she might as well just FUCK and cheat right ?

She knows this is going to blow up into a catastrophe for her ... for her husband who she claims to love at least on some level ... and never mind the chaos is going to cause at work.

However. and whatever happens.. If the author decides to continue the story... This marriage is destroyed. It's obvious that everybody at the law firm knows what is going on and given the way the husband character has developed... there is no possible way that he would accept the sort of activity / behavior.

The most devastating problem here is the fact that just because loose whose bored she gets to destroy everything and everybody. She was not trap into the marriage and he is made of good faith effort to be a good man and treat her with respect and dignity.... Unlike the way that the other wives are treated by their husbands.

To be sure Lucy can keep on fucking n Luke all she wants to... Just not as the husband's expense. After all the degree from hunter college might get a job as a supervisor Wal-Mart and that pays pretty good right?

5/5. But not because I like Lucy or am impressed with her actions. I am impressed by the authors ability to paint a drab and dreary life, a gilded cafe where the women are simply possessions. I guess all that glitters isn't good after all, sometimes it's the hidden tears.

All that being said, why not simply get a divorce and take him for half he's worth?

Well written and engaging. There is a theme that has dveloped in Moon Girl's writing(at least the one that was taken down, the Neighbor and probably this one), which is that a wife is justified in cheating if she is bored, not happy for some reason, and the husband isn't perfect. Then it is the husband's fault and the wife comes thru fine. All the stories have been good. It is the philosophy which is the problem. But I guess it really isn't a problem and just a good story unless the author believes and practices what she writes.

I enjoy the stories and would rank them highly.

Anon.1

Absolutely loved it. The detached meeting, the attraction and tension getting driven up until it explodes. Great story!

When a sports team has that special chemistry, there is no stopping them. Think the 86' Bears, the Jordan led Bulls, the Yankees when Jeter was in his prime. That mojo can spotted by a neophyte fan and cannot be fended off by the most savvy and skilled individual opponent. That's the mojo that Luke and the narrator have.

Buckle up buttercups because this going to be a bumpy ride that can't be stopped regardless of consequences. Lovely, lovely job by Girl in Moon chronicling how these sparks leap, catch fire and build to roaring blaze. Fuel, fools and desire ( oh my ).

I hope you're not going to join some of the other writers and write half a story all the time. So...what? Do they get caught? Does he lose his job, does she lose her marriage? WTF!

It was 5 stars all the way till the end then it went from 5 to 2 real quick.

"If I was doomed, at least I had someone like Luke going down with me."

Your last line tells her that lie that feeds her denial. Of course, Luke won't be there with her when she awakens to her doom. He'll be off to other conquests, others will fill his moments with their wares.

Lucy is a tragedy in the making and her, seemingly, only options are to begin, continue, lying to Mark, which will exacerbate the problems they will begin to have from here onward.

You are such an exceptional author. Thank you for writing. Though, this story is painful for me to read, I do understand you are just taking my poor little testosterone laden mind out and toying with it, I can't help the turmoil this creates for me.

And, for that, you get extra acknowledgement because you have a natural gift of story telling. You understand human emotion and from the female perspective you ply your understanding with the aplomb of a master.

Best regards,

-Pultoy

That she stays with husband and deprives him of a real love.

David offered good advice about not shitting where husband eats, cause that is really what she did - shit on him. She is self aware as she decends to the sewer, but decides to continue.

Point of view has a lot to do with how we like a character in a story. But I just don't like this woman.

There is a lack of justice in your stories. I guess that is true to life, cause they say, life ain't fair. But it bothers me, that injustice, when I come to the end of a story, and there is no balance.

There sems to be a lack of understanding of the harm that she can cause. As you can see from comments from some wounded people on this site, the hate and pain can go on and on for a very long time. For your female lead, I don't wish eternal pain, merely true regret for the pain she causes and perhaps some personal growth in spirit.

You are an excellent writer.

Thanks

Selfish bitch and irresistible bad boy...Personally, I'm bored with the notion. They have chemistry. The husband, well, it's just too bad for him.

Yeah, I don't really like either of them. And the woman is just like the other woman in a GirlintheMoon story who cheated. Seriously, it's one thing to cheat on someone who YOU work with. It's quite a measure of disrespect to cheat on someone who works with your spouse. The level of disrespect that is required for that to play out is hardly trivial. I understand infatuation. I understand the "serendipitous" happening. But, really, to plan it out and commit to more than a one-time thing is really odious.

Another story with characters in it that are entirely revolting and yet the story is well written. It's entirely believable, but still moralistically, completely horrible.

The thing is, I - and, i suspect, quite a lot of reader - want to see these characters pay. They are doing something they know will hurt others, just for their own jollies, and at some point in life you HAVE to pay for that. But right now, they are getting off Scott free and that just doesn't sit well with me.

I don't like the characters despicted here but your writting is sooo good I can't help being sucked in into the story.

I'm a BTB type but I liked this story because it is well written and intriguing. And it is very plausible. There is no one to like in it. She is a very selfIsh spoiled bored wife and the husband can be difficult, but doesn't appear to deserve her betrayal. So even though hubby can be a little rough at times. It appears that he does love her but she is only in it for the money. So I have to go with the husband. I would like to see a part 2. Hopefully she gets the worst end of it by losing her spoiled life ending up with regret. Unless hubby had planned this to get rid of her. Then the plot twists and then no one to root for. Dam so many ways to go. Need chapter 2

GINM wrote she generaly does not write happy ending............if she wrote a or more sequels the story would go to catastropha.......So if somembody likes such stories that the character crawls out from the catastropha that reader will disappoint.......

Hell, if I was this girl I'd cheat too. I love when the cheating story is from the women's perspective it is always more rational and makes sense. And I love when it happens to blue bloods, they're all morally bankrupt anyway. I mean, come on we all know if he's not having an affair now he will later, and eventually cash her in for a younger version anyway. So don't feel too bad for the player. However, I don't like how she comes from common means. I don't know if the author means to imply that social climbers are more apt to have affairs then their more affluent counterparts. But hey more power to her if this all leads to her getting a divorce and becoming the strong independent woman that all girls should be. I love when the prick alpha asshole executive type gets cuckolded, I hope they rub his nose in it, it won't have happend to a better guy. After all, in the imortal words of Jada Pinkett Smith - "You can do whatever you want as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay,"

Not a single decent character in the lot. Not that it was badly written, it just didn't have anything new, interesting or entertaining in it. I didn't care what happened to them because they weren't worth caring about. I couldn't even get upset that she was a self centered cheating slut. UGH! A "1".

I hate unfinished stories like this one. You make the effort to develop the characters and throw in a sex scene, but leave it up to the reader to end the story? I don't care if he 'burns the bitch' or they kiss and make up or something in between, but finish it. You didn't give enough information to determine a plausible ending, I think the hard work in writing a story is giving it an ending. You didn't do the work.

Just.. Wow!

The two of you gave into lust. It should have turned into a once every 6 months or so thing. But now he wants you back to use you again the next day. And your husband is already suspects. As for her stud lover, he will never get her to leave Mark. And he may not want her for himself. He has cuckold a co-worker. What is he really after? The story itself was well done. Thanks

I look forward to more of the same... ;)

RAWinMN

And these other commenters, the negative ones— they obviously wouldn't know good writing if they fell over it. I think they're offended that you haven't fulfiled their clichés for them. Please keep up the good work

almost one for each cliché in the sad story.

Yes, it is well written, but written about people who do not like themselves or each other.

You're one in a hundred in Literotica. A pleasure to read this story. You're inventive and talented.

The comments were good too, especially the longing for there to be justice and morality. Some lives are like that, a lot are not. A immoral person is not condemned for a lifetime to continue to be immoral. I fine the characters well defined, or as well defined as you can in a short story, and the actions realistic.

Could use a little more excitement, anger and such, but really good

Chilley

Great read. Hot and the writing was superb. Luke and Lucy will continue until;

Seriously. Most authors write a fantasy, and then embroider it. You left us right after the climax. When i read that last word, i felt like I woke up, and felt every ache in my body. I felt awake for the first time in hours. Thank you.

I can't get up my usual anger with her because she was never a true "loving wife" in the first place.

My biggest beef with her is that given her dissatisfaction with her life and her and Luke's strong attraction, she should have simply got a divorce rather than cheat.

and stop cheating behind his back. She obviously doesn't love him, no kids, so what's the problem? Then she can fuck "the" Luke all she wants...

Good writing about a sad situation all around.

On to chapter 2.

AMerryMan

Poor mark doesn't realize he got a fucked up wife ,. A cheater and that is not the way you should act in a marriage she just ended.and Luke shifting where he eats . This story does-not make sense. Throw you life away for a roll in the hay!

A mix of Anna Karenina and Thérèse Raquin. But she doesn't have to throw herself on the tracks. This could be the end of pretense and the beginnings of a genuine life for her. But that's a secondary consideration -- the primary one is that this is absolutely first class writing.

If you want to reply, leave a message on the only story written by Jaxxon 262 which is me. Forgot my password and the email address I used long ago...

GITM's stories go to the unhappy end and the reader's the question if GITM will write any story with happy ending for one of her main characters at least????

Good God, reading some of the comments here you'd think Lucy was the Antichrist. Yeah, she's cheating. Did you even look at the story category, what did you expect to find? "Living wives" stories aren't about polygamy around here as far as I can tell.

Personally, I don't blame Lucy too much. Some, yeah; she should divorce and try to live more meaningfully. But, sometimes you get complacent in life; she's living the more-or-less good life (economically, though her husband us clearly an ass and probably could be considered to be emotionally or intellectually abusive), and is OK with that - sort of - after all, she gets drunk by the pool a lot, not exactly a sign of a healthy life.

So far, it's a good story. Strange but compelling woman, wretched (but well described) supporting cast, asshole husband isn't a weakling/wimp, and you don't really know where it's going from one page to the next.

No, not the typical LW story, and that's what the screaming anons are really bitching about - this woman isn't a cheap whore that they can hate, she's much more complex, so they're mad at the author instead.

on and on and on............cut it in half and get to the sex

Oooo, I was a swept of my feet. BAH!

Hope I can stick around for the end.

A slow powerful build. As riveting now as it was when I read it a year ago.

rj

I see the last chapter is the highest rated. Too soon to tell if that relatively high score was occasioned by the BTB crowd or the RAAC crowd. The ones who you can always count on to rate "their" stories high are the cuckies. Don't see that happening here.

That's the reason I 'm reading this. It's a rare treat, in this genre. And yes, it was a treat , your writing skills, that is.

I'm not a big fan of infidelity .For me, It's an act of violence, generally. Emotional violence. You're breaking something that you cannot mend.

And that's where you score the stars.I liked something that I usually detest. The writing was that good. Very realistic. It perfectly shows how seemingly normal people can get sucked off of blood , from the bigger head.

this moved me. thank you.

But you do write about vile and disgusting women.

While I am extremely disgusted by your wife in this story, you illustrate her selfish and myopic childishness very well.

I do like that you have illustrated how frustrated/ bored she was with her life.

Later, it seems like she became a better person.

Anyway, very talented author even though I wish herpes on this bitch! LOL!

Mark was obviously a bit of a dick and their relationship absolutely needed to improve.

Lucy still should have demanded change or left him instead of fucking an idiot.

It shows she was greedy, selfish and idiotic. Also a hypocrite and far bigger asshole than mark.

I remember starting this story, but I never finished it. It definitely wasn't the writing that made me stop. I think life got in the way, and over time I just forgot to come back to it. I will make up for that oversight right now.

Literotica has defined this section as cheating wife stories so these asses need to back off.

The eroticism is enhanced by the quality of the writing. A pleasure to read.

I mean it. This is seriously good.

Superb

Nice story, but then you just kept rambling to make it longer. There was nothing innocent here, this was right out seduction by both from the supposed first time they met. Why was Luke following her whenever she went alone to another room? Why did she keep going there when she knew Luke would show up sooner or later. Why stay married if she doesn't love her husband? This is no innocent girl making a mistake. This was laid out with a purpose in mind.

Thanks for sharing!

I was totally involved until I hit this grammar bump:

"... leaving Luke and I staring at one another."

how luke is going to seduce lucy?

Good stuff.

I got about three paragraphs in and couldn't take it any more. It seems that people are having a really hard time with the English language. You start off with "he fisted my hair." That has no meaning, I had to assume that he might have taken a fistful of your hair, but it's anything but clear. And then again, her "gloved" hand. Does that mean she had a glove for a hand? There is no sense in the way that was written. If you wanted to make a readable story you might have said "she was wearing gloves and refused to remove them." How difficult would that have been? I guess I'll have to assume that you had idiots for teachers when you went to school, but in my class this would have gotten you a failing grade.

Sorry this is anonymous, but the password/username can't be reconciled. So here is my email address if you want to curse me out. pooky12349@yahoo.com

Are some of the comments from school principals? What the fuck they are complaining about I got wet reading this so what is the crap they feeding about the language used. As a former Dutch woman I was pulling my nipples during the highlights isn't that all whats counts?

Sorry about my English Ha Ha

Extremely well planned, plotted and written. Good presentation of, and insight into, characters. I grade the author 98% on English syntax and usage. Glad to read ZERO typical descriptions of massive mammaries and prodigious penises. The authentic-sounding internal musings of the main character and the delicious descriptions throughout leave me wanting more. Bravo!

Absolutely superb writing.

What a cunt.

Holy shit! You are NOT fucking around. This is awesome. Can't write more now. Have to read next chapter.

Found you from a reference in one of Randi's stories. Great writing so far and very real feel to story. Yes all - Lucy is a bitch/slut, but wouldn't have near the journey in front of us otherwise... 5*

glad i found you.

Well done!

Left me gasping for more.

I'll be reading more of your work.

Wow. Wonderful

Jack

Cheap, disgusting, cheating, lying tramp. Hope husband rains hell down on her and the asshole accomplice.

Cunt. What a user. She stays with him because he’s an “okay husband.” Unkind bitch doesn’t care enough to let him go find real love, No humanity, just animal instincts. I can’t even tell you what I want to do to her. And I’m a woman.

Shoot the bitch

I'm a bit surprised about the all out positive comments, you probably see something I don't. For me this reads like a script written by a youngster about adult life, but falling short since said youth actually has very little knowledge about relations, work, dinners etc. Ken & Barbie and ...Luke?

LW authors, please drop the use of, "lips curling upward," or whatever. Gives me the creeps, not the image of a smile, or even a smirk. Smirk, by the way is way overused.

Wow. Amazing to see the male responses showing how threatened they are about females.

I like the writing style.

i rarely enjoy a LW story written by a woman(i assume, based on the name, this is a woman).

however, i am enjoying this one.

In the first page they moved faster than the speed of light (almost), when she was seated she suddenly became so close to others and became involved in conversations with at least 2 girls and with Paul. Damn, then David joined the conversation, even though he was seated a distance away from her. This part had me reading it a couple of times to try to get the people, place, acts together. Otherwise, it was a decent story. Will try to finish the damn story soon. ;)

Wow, what a bunch of miserable people. The Mc hates just about everyone, but shows the most disrespect to her husband. Her best friend is a cock hungry gay guy, she seems to relate to him. I could go on and on but why bother, you read the same story. I guess the only reason she married a lawyer was because of money and no morals.

Since it was obvious she was cheating why wouldn't her husband just divorce her? It seems cut and dry.

Oh, no. There’s more. I don’t know if I can stand it. So hor, so fraught, so real it’s upsetting.

Gag me with a spoon! These are just awful people that deserve to get run over in the road. Jard to like a story with such jackasses.

For some reason I gave 5 stars rating to a story that goes against everything in my soul. I am a BTB person but having known the "Marks" of the world, and the typical boardrooms of various companies, plus the so-called wives of them, Lucy does not belong there. She's not happy with her life. No love, warmth, just a crap marriage.

Or at least that is how I see it. So, Lucy, get the hell out and start again with someone who is real.

Yuck, sorry. How the ending should be: husband finds out, Luke gets blackballed and unable to find a new job, MC gets divorced and finds herself working at McDonalds.

Full of people I hate. Did nothing for me, sorry.

Lucy is a cunt divorce ythat bitch shes a joke.

Well written but it's hard for me to get into a story where there are no likable people involved. So, only a 4.