A Rush of Blood to the Head

I mumbled "sure" and hurried out. David lingered at the end of the hallway, not even bothering to hide his curiosity.

"He's a goody two-shoes, right? Thinks he's above it all?"

I shrugged one shoulder and took his glass of whiskey, chugging down the rest. "I liked him."

"Oh, no."

I gave him a look. "What?"

"You like him, like him, don't you?!"

"Are we in the fifth grade?"

David grinned like a mischievous little boy. "You have a crush on him. Holy shit!"

"I absolutely do not."

David ignored him. "You totally like him!"

"I do not!" I repeated. "I mean, I like him in a general sort of way. I like you, too, by the way."

"Sweetheart, it's not the same and you know it. You can't fuck me."

My eyes ran up and down his body. "I could sway you."

David cracked up. "I don't doubt your allure. I'm just saying you might wanna simmer down with that. Don't shit where your husband eats; fuck the pool boy instead."

_____________

I didn't see Luke for the rest of the night. Mark emerged from Nick's study a little while later and went for our coats. We hustled out into the night.

When we got closer to home, Mark finally began. "So, what did you think of Luke?"

I tried to sound blasé. "He's okay. I don't know why all the girls are obsessed with him."

"Bullshit," Mark snorted. "I saw you looking at him. You were eye-fucking him."

"I was not!"

"You think you're better than all those girls," Mark laughed. "You're fantasizing, too."

"Mark, give me a break. He's attractive, no doubt, but as if I could even entertain the--"

"No, no, I know you wouldn't really have sex with him. It's just entertaining to see you acknowledge for the briefest of moments you're human."

"Ouch."

He reached out and stroked my hair. "It's said with love."

I made a sound of amusement but I tilted my head for more of his touch.

When we got home we went straight upstairs where Mark roughly undressed me. He tore off his own clothes and pounced. In spite of his nonchalance, I knew he was irritated with me. In his eyes I flirted with his coworker. And I was in agreement that I flirted.

He threw me on the bed and climbed over me, his hard cock lining up with my pussy. I was aroused; I loved this side of Mark. If I could have spoken, I'd have told him so and would have repeated his words to him; when he was like this--fierce, jealous, threatened, passionate--he reminded me he was human, too.

His hand snaked its way into my panties and he snickered when he found me wet. Two fingers thrust inside me and I threw my head back.

Mark fingered me for a while until I heard the sounds of his fingers shoving into me. He finally took them out and smeared their wetness over his cock. He jacked himself off for a few seconds, his hungry eyes watching my chest heave in and out.

He bent his head and sucked in a nipple. I moaned and threaded my fingers into his hair. He pulled his mouth off and rubbed his cock against my pussy, teasing me.

"Tell me the truth," he panted. "Do you want him?"

"Who?" I asked, knowing perfecting well who he meant.

He bit my bottom lip and then pulled back, his face twisted into a disapproving expression. "Don't play with me, Lucy. Tell me if you wanted him."

"No," I said, "Just you."

"Because I fuck you good."

I nodded. He entered me on a slick glide.

"Because I own you."

I agreed because it was true. No matter how superior I thought I was to the other girls, I was just like them. I spent my days getting manicures, swimming in the pool and getting drunk on my patio.

Mark pinched my clit and picked up his speed. I cried out as I came. He pumped into me until he also came in a rush of curses and cum.

He rolled off and passed out next to me. As he snored, I let myself daydream.

What would Luke's future wife be like? Would he marry soon? Would he also lord over here, enjoying the power trip he got doing it?

I reminded myself how pointless it was to fantasize, and eventually I dozed off.

_________

I didn't see Luke again until a month later. I was at Patricia's house to sunbathe with her. It was a puzzle to me whenever she invited me over; she hated me the most, and hid it the least. But if she wanted to gossip about me, she needed material. So I'd be invited over, and if I tried to come up with an excuse she complained to Bruce, who harassed Mark, who in turn scolded me.

I escaped her for a few minutes and stood alone in her kitchen, stuffing a croissant in my face. Bruce strolled in and Luke followed. They held papers in their hands and appeared to be arguing. When they saw me, they stopped short. Bruce grinned; Luke stared.

"Luce! Good to see you, babe. I didn't know you were coming over today."

"Hi. I didn't know you'd be here before 10pm."

He got close to me--too close--and patted my cheek. "Such a funny girl. Is the wife outside?"

"Yep. Speaking of which, I should go tell her to turn over. Nice to see you, guys."

Bruce reached for my arm. "Hang out here for a sec. I need to talk to her for a minute."

He strolled outside, leaving Luke and I staring at one another.

He broke the silence first. "I didn't expect to find you here."

"Patricia's pool is bigger."

Luke grinned and ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it. I watched the movement with fascination.

"You remind me of my mother, you know."

My eyebrows rose. "What?"

He broke out in laughter and shook his head. "Sorry, that didn't come out right. Believe it or not it's a compliment."

"Is your mother a beautiful, intelligent, classy lady?"

"She was." His smile turned soft. "She passed away last year, actually."

"I'm sorry," I murmured.

"Don't be. I was a mama's boy, and she was the last of my family... I have a sister I don't talk to, though. I don't count her. She sucks."

I didn't quite know what to say. In all the fantasies I had of running into Luke, having a heartfelt talk was the farthest thing from the mind. I didn't do emotions well, and I was awkward about death. Still I wanted to comfort him.

"I understand. I haven't seen my parents in at least a year. They aren't dead but we're not close."

A sympathetic noise came from his throat. "They didn't even teach you to ride a bike."

I let out a surprised laugh. "Exactly."

"What about Mark's parents?"

"Good God, please. Have you met them yet?"

"No," he smiled. "I've heard stories, however."

I nodded. "Don't worry. You'll meet them soon enough."

I peered out the window and spotted Bruce talking to Patricia, gesticulating angrily. Luke followed my gaze.

"What do you think he's pissed about?"

I snorted and shrugged, remembering belatedly that this was quite unladylike in front of Luke. "Who knows? Probably about her spending."

He laughed but then froze up. I could tell he wanted to say something. I brushed some croissant off my bikini and waited.

After a few tense moments he worked up the courage. He took a deep breath and asked, "How did you really end up here? Not that your college party, love-at-first-sight tale wasn't cute."

It was apropos of nothing, really, but I knew what he meant. I wondered distractedly if he'd heard a rumor. I didn't bother playing stupid. "In this world?" He nodded. "Mark. Life. Choices. It's so strange how one choice, one mistake, can totally alter your world, you know?"

His eyes reflexively jumped to my stomach and I knew that he heard something. He tried to play it off when he caught me looking but an uncomfortable weight settled between us.

"I like my life, mostly," I felt like I had to add. "As much as anyone does, I imagine. You'll get used to it here."

"I kinda hope I don't."

His black eyes scanned my body and I fidgeted. For the first time in a long time, I was uncomfortable to have a man's gaze sweep over my curves.

His eyes zeroed in on my neck. He brought his hand towards me. I flinched and he smirked. "You have a ladybug on you."

"Oh," I said lamely.

His fingers brushed against my skin as he plucked it from me. I jumped a little at his touch, and he stared at my lips. He cleared his throat and turned to release it outside, just in time for Bruce to catch up with him.

"You ready?" he asked Luke.

Luke nodded and gave me a wave. He'd swept any familiarity and warmth from his expression, which was a good thing; I noticed Bruce watching me carefully.

Bruce waited a beat before coming over to me and lifting my hand, kissing the top of it. "Say hello to Mark for me, baby."

___________

Two weeks later we were back at Nick and Denise's house. As a cruel torment, I was seated next to Luke again. A strange electricity hummed between us.

This time Mark sat across from us. He watched with shrewd eyes, cataloguing every inane comment Luke and I made to each other. I was exhausted by playing the disinterested wife. For the first time in a long time, I was grateful when Denise rounded up the girls to go into the kitchen.

Patricia remarked that I was quiet tonight. I smiled and cracked a few jokes to ease the tension. They ignored me after a few minutes and I escaped to Nick's office. I sat in his chair and swiveled round and round until I spotted Luke watching me by the doorway. I reached out a heel to stop my spinning and noticed his eyes follow the movement with a perverse sort of pleasure.

"Hi, there," I sighed.

He came into the room and stopped a few inches away from me. He looked down at me in silence. In this domineering position, it was hard to banish the thought of me sucking his cock out of my head. Where the hell did that come from, I wondered. His eyes narrowed and I could have sworn for a moment that I saw lust in them. Could he have been imagining the same thing?

"I wondered when I might see you again," he finally said.

"I can never avoid these things."

He backed up, sensing I wanted to stand. We walked over to the window seat and sat far too close to each other.

"I wish I could, too, but it seems we're doomed for life."

I pushed my hair back behind my ears. He smelled too good. I'd never felt such a raw, baseless attraction before. I'd liked how men looked in the past. I'd imagined them moving inside me. I pictured what their cocks looked like, or if they'd bother to make me come. But with Luke, I wanted to act on it. It was dumb and silly. We'd barely talked to each other. I knew nothing about him.

Yet I just knew sex with him would be unlike anything I ever experienced before.

He must have caught the vibe, or perhaps I wasn't as good at schooling my feelings as I thought I was. Whatever the case, he leaned over and kissed me. It just happened; neither of us had a chance to hesitate. At first I stiffened up and told myself I needed to push him off. Maybe I should slap him, too, and scare him out of ever trying it again. A part of me felt nervous, like I was some shy virgin again. It had been years since I kissed a man other than my husband.

Then I relaxed into it. His soft lips pressed against my own. His tongue moved in and out in long, wet slides that made me shiver. I exploded into flames. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to take his hand and press it between my thighs.

Sense returned to him and he moved back, jumping off the seat. I reluctantly opened my eyes, feeling as though I'd just been jarred from a wonderful dream.

He stood with his back facing me. After a few minutes, he took a noticeable breath and dropped his head back to stare at the ceiling. I could barely move. My panties were soaked, my nipples were hard and my lips were numb. I got up and touched his shoulder. He shuddered and stepped away, shaking his head.

"That was a bad idea."

I exhaled in a whoosh. "Yeah."

"I want to do it again."

"Me, too."

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "Aren't you supposed to be smacking me? Protesting your faithfulness to your husband?"

"Yeah. I'm supposed to be doing a lot of things right now."

"Can we pretend this never happened?" he asked.

I thought about it for a second. I recalled the sensation of his lips, the taste of his mouth. The little groan he let out when I kissed him back. Then I envisioned our future of dinner parties and charity events, of having to ignore one another and the connection that seemed to be growing between us.

"Nope."

"Shit," he grunted. "This is ridiculous! We barely know each other! But I look at you and I just want to... Fuck!" He stalked back over to me and kissed me again. This time he released all of his frustration and brutality into our kiss. His hand touched my thigh and traveled upwards, pulling up my dress. I thought he might go further, but he regained control of himself. When he pulled away, he stared at my swollen lips. "Shit, shit, shit. You look like you've been kissing someone."

I ran my tongue over them and felt them pulsate with heat, felt the impressions of his teeth. "Okay." I was uncharacteristically speechless. I'd had sex with a few men before Mark, and I'd kissed my fair share of boys, but it was never like this. Not even with Mark.

Fuck! Mark! He would know instantly what happened. I shook my head and added, "That's not good."

"I've got to get back." Luke walked away from me awkwardly, and I couldn't find the words to stop him.

_____

The rest of the night passed quietly. Luke studiously avoided me, and I forced myself to ignore him. It was a futile effort. My mind would inevitably go back to our kisses and I'd flush.

No one noticed my raw lips, or if they did, they didn't mention it.

Mark pulled me out of there later than usual. He talked a lot on our drive back home, but I didn't listen to a word of it. He must've realized I was someplace else when he parked the car in our driveway. As I turned to the car door, he grabbed my other wrist and tugged me closer to him. The gear shift pressed into the left side of my ribs.

"What's with you?"

"Nothing," I said too quickly.

Mark yanked the bottom of my dress up and pressed his hand against my back. "Get on top of me."

I knew where this was headed. "Not in the car. It's messy and uncomfortable and--"

"Get on top of me, Lucy."

I complied. He was so hard and he didn't bother with foreplay; he sank into me and I moved against him wantonly, having been ready all night.

We fucked each other hard, each frantic for the other's orgasm.

We didn't speak much when we were finished, but I sensed his eyes on me. When we were in our bathroom and I brushed my teeth, he rested against my back and stared at my reflection.

"Are you sure nothing is going on?"

I spit. "Positive."

He palmed my ass. "I know you spent some alone time with Luke. Were you a good girl?"

I faced him and kissed him long and deep. When we were both panting, I answered him. "The best."

__________

I saw him again. This time I purposefully waited around the office after surprising Mark for lunch. I was just about to give up when I saw him walking in the building with some girl I didn't recognize. My heart skipped a beat and I struggled to take in a breath.

As if he sensed me watching him, his eyes lifted and widened when he spotted me. He said something to the girl, who then looked over at me. She nodded and said something, then disappeared down the hallway leading to the elevators.

He got close to me and then looked over his shoulder. When he turned back to face me, he looked as impassive and emotionless as the first time I met him. "What's up?"

"I wanted to see you."

He exhaled sharply. "Lucy. This can't happen."

"It's already begun, I think. We're doomed, remember?"

His eyes dropped to my lips. "It's not going to work. I can't fuck another man's wife, let alone a guy I see every day. Who I have meetings with. I just can't."

"I've never wanted someone like I want you."

He squeezed his eyes shut. "You're the devil."

"Do you know how wet I was last time?"

"Lucy." His eyes popped open. "Stop."

He backed away from me and ran his hands through his hair. "Why are you doing this?"

"I have no idea," I whispered. It was the truth. This would only end in disaster.

"I have to get upstairs."

I grabbed his hand and brought it between my legs. He tried to pull himself out of my grasp, but not hard enough. His fingers pressed into my pussy.

"I'm not wearing panties," I confessed.

As if I'd electrocuted him, he ripped his hand from me and stomped away. I didn't follow.

_____

I went shopping a few days later. I did serious damage on my credit card, but I needed retail therapy.

At night I was tormented by the memory of Luke's mouth. It was absurd and irrational, but it was quickly becoming an obsession.

I thanked God that Mark was consumed by at case at work; he'd be up my ass, otherwise.

When I got home I picked up the mail and brought it inside. I put away my purchases, fixed myself some tea and sifted through bills. I reached an envelope only addressed to me with no return address. Curious, I tore it open and pulled out the single sheet of paper.

"You're right. We're doomed. The Hilton at 6. -L"

I didn't realize until the kettle went off that I was grinning so wide my cheeks hurt.

______

I didn't have Luke's cell number, and I didn't want to approach the front desk. The less people saw of me, the less my cover would be blown. So I sat in my car and listened to the radio, hoping Luke would spot me here.

I didn't think of Mark, or my marriage, or the life we'd built together. It wouldn't do me any good. And I'd decided to let myself enjoy this. We would get this out of our system and Mark would never know. We could face each other indifferently in the future.

A big part of me knew this was all wrong, that I was convincing myself of the truth I wanted to believe rather than the plain truth itself.

I'd left Mark a voicemail that I was going to a new yoga class. Would he believe me? Probably.

Doubt started to creep in, however. I was about to shift the car into reverse and speed back home when someone knocked on my window. It had been raining so I couldn't see 100% clearly, but I knew it was Luke.

I pushed the door open and stood next to him beneath the drizzle. He stared at me and pushed some hair behind my ear.

"Are you sure?"

I kissed him in response.

He'd already checked in so we went straight to the room. We kissed as he undressed me. Shockingly I had no nerves, but I could feel his fingers shaking when he unhooked my bra.

"Luke," I breathed.

"Yes?" His voice was gritty. It turned me on.

"Are you okay? We don't have to do this."

A finger slipped into the waist of my panties and he stroked the sensitive skin of my lower stomach. "We don't?"

I swallowed a moan. "No. I know this is h-hard for you."

He pressed himself against me so I could feel how tangibly hard it was for him. "I made my decision, Lucy. Do we need condoms?"

I shook my head. "The pill," I said succinctly.

I wondered if he'd insist on a condom anyway, but his gaze was on my body and he wasn't really paying attention.

The panties were pushed down to the floor. He sucked in a breath and lowered himself to his knees. His other hand skimmed through my pussy, catching on my entrance. He studied me so intently I blushed. His eyes flicked up to me as his tongue slipped from his mouth and lapped at my clit.

Instantly I clutched his head and attempted to bring him closer to me. He pushed his fingers into me while he sucked my clit and made me impossibly wetter.

"Should I do this until you come?" he whispered against my wet flesh. "Or should I make you suffer?"

"Please."

He looked back up at me. "Please, what?"

"Please make me come. I need it. I need...Please."

"Greedy girl." He increased the pace of his fingers and returned to licking me.

I felt him panting and moaning. The sensations all fueled me and I exploded in an intense orgasm that sent shocks through my nerves. Indescribable pleasure swam into my foggy mind and everything felt heavy and sensitive.