All Comments on 'A Shitty Way to End a Marriage'

Prolonged disrespecting spouse aka acting like a cunt, withholding sex during that same period and finally the actual cheating. That's strike one, strike two and strike three. She's outta there.The marriage was mostly a success in my eyes until then. They raised a good kid together but it just went bad in a big way. Take deep breath because shit happens.

No grey cloud without a silver lining , at least the cheaters had decency to not go bareback. It's ironic that cautionary gesture of using protection them caught. I hope Beth learned her lesson . The narrator sure did. This isn't cutting edge literature, but it's entertaining with capitol E for Loving Wives hard core habitues. That's enough for me.

Full marks. * * * * *

Crazy as hell, but some good reading. Thanks for sharing.

Simply magnificent, 5 stars!

The daughter's name changed three times. So what is it, Amy, Andi or Toni? Do you even read this stuff? You're losing it, dude.

I wonder how many cheating bastards and bitches will immediately have their septic filters cleaned after reading this story...... Lmmfao. Most people in the country have city water and sewer; The rest have well water and septic systems. Lotsa filters out there, Hee, Hee.

But wildly entertaining. Do need a bit of editing.

I think the pain meds if any are getting to you. Not up to your usual standard, but still better than 99% of the stuff here...

That was hilarious, five stars.

Awesome

Not your usual brilliance, but no less valid or entertaining.

Tremendous tale. I love a happy ending!

Five Stars

Very good story...and funny too...And the title says it all...4*

1% let down for simple spelling errors, but 99% for a novel, witty story which is by far superior to anything else submitted in Loving Wives in the last few weeks!

"As for what happened to Beth, who the fuck cares?" This is the sentiment that all loving wives stories should end with. It is the only rational ending.

HA,ha!! What a great combination of plot, humor, and character development. Original, creative and the same old story. Just the way we like it. A fine mix.

Really, a very enjoyable story.

Thank you very much qhml1.

AMerryman

The protagonist showed absolutely no emotions.

Proud owner of a Shiny new divorce decree?

This story was written for the hardcore btb crowd and they obviously love it but it is totally devoid of any hint of reality or originality, it has been done to death on literotica.

Cheating wife gets cast aside by righteous husband who is ridiculously smug and happy that his long term marriage has ended.

Waste of time writing it and a waste of time reading it.

I have done it several times, and so have many others. You start a story, go on vacation, come home and write a page and then your uncle gets sick and you go visit. When you take up the story again, you swear the sister was named Nancy, but she was Susan at the start and you never notice, but the readers do! The guy's daughter may have several names, but we know she loves her dad!

Another perfect husband gets fucked over by a scheming, adulterous wife and gets awesome revenge. But that's not how life works. No husband is perfect and I'm tired of reading about them.

Awesome :)

Solid "4" in my book...I certainly enjoyed this one.

5 & FAV ... In danger of being repetative here but you prove it true consistently, your an old school Word Smith for sure. Thanks for slipping this one in between chapters of "SLICES"

“asking if I thought you could get past this and take her back” – LOL, they always want the HUSBAND to “get past this”, when you know if things were reversed she’s cut his balls off!

“She's blown it, the damage is too deep” – Whatever hope there might be to forgive the cheating (and believe me, for me there would be none!), her refusing HIM sex, and miserable attitude towards both him and their DAUGHTER would be the final nails in the marriage’s coffin!

“Beth crying, me remaining stoic” – I’ve said this before, why do these wives who are unhappy in their marriages, have no desire or respect for their husbands, get upset when it ends?

Must have been a good story because I didn't even notice the name changes, and I'm usually a nit-picker!

Thanks for sharing a fun read.

This is like Mad Libs for Loving Wives.

"My name is (hubby's name). I'm a hard-working, honest, faithful, loyal, blue-collar guy. I'm married to an absolutely despicable and shameless slut named (wifey's name), who has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. The other day, I caught (wifey) cheating with some scumbag named (scumbag's name).

"I decided to catch them in the act by (insert elaborate high-tech spying scenario.) I completely humiliated both of them by (insert elaborate revenge fantasy.) I threatened (scumbag) and he ran away screaming like a little girl.

"(Wifey), who had been previously portrayed as not caring about our marriage in the least, crawled toward me and clung to my leg, begging for forgiveness. But being the cold and apathetic character that I am, I would have none of that.

"(Insert boring details of the divorce.) Not a minute after I gleefully ended the marriage that I never really cared about in the first place, I met a gorgeous young woman named (replacement wife's name), who was ten times prettier and way nicer than my shrew of an ex-wife. We lived happily ever after."

Maybe you have to have been divorced to appreciate these stories. I just don't get it. They sure are popular, though.

here in a long time. Loved it.

Enjoy your stories. Thanks for the entertainment.

Mike from Texas

Swingerjoe, that comment was funny as fuck! And like most good humor, there is a touch (and only a touch) of truth to it.

But like seeing a natural park or a canyon, we KNOW what we are getting (trees. a hole in the ground) It is the details which make the park or the story good.

So funny...and a bit overly dismissive. Still, nicely done.

Now to read the story

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

That sums up the majority of Loving Wives stories being submitted, and the minority seems to be dominated by wittol fetishists who relish the multitasking abilities of their wives' pussies.

However, to be more thoughtful about the popularity of the prevailing "saintly husband" stories, it would be convenient to presume most readers are male and have been spurned in some fashion, but I think the format is just too damn popular amongst a particular demographic that seems to frequent this section on a regular basis more than others.

The minute percentage of readers that would dearly love to read more sensible stories, realistic and plausible in fact, would have to settle for rare gems. Unfortunately, the trend seems to rely on the same group of authors to produce something that is spectacular and I can see this be a frustrating factor for the niche group of users but it is what it is.

Saintly husband stories are here to stay, whether the purists like it or not...

You dont like stuff like this since your taste usually runs along the lines of watching the wife get fucked by strangers while the poor husband just quietly accepts all indiscretions in the name of supposed love when truly it is because he knows he is never going to find anyone else again and that he is completely worthless. Or something similar. I may be completely wrong on and for that I apologize but from what I've noticed on this site on countless stories that is your usual standard of judgement.

And lets be honest here, there are only so many ways ppl can write about a married couple and what happens between them....

We all come here for different things. Acts some people find exciting can easily be considered by others to be truly despicable. So people score stories on the basis of whether they liked it or not and whether they can relate to it in a positive way....

Your rants about the scoring system of Lit is a bit stupid.

No one likes something purely on the basis of technical greatness..

If that were the case the people would name subject texts and instruction manuals as their fav books.

I doubt anyone here is some great critic or editor. And even if most people were it wouldn't matter. People will still vote according to what they consider a story deserves. A story having likeable and relatable characters will almost always score more than one with assholes and creeps in the lead(people decide who the creeps are based on their judgement).

be posted someplace on the Lit website for easy reference. He did leave out that the replacement wife will have money and big tits and always be faithful, loves anal, (but never did it before!) and has a tight, bald pussy, which jilted husbands look for in a new spouse. He could have mentioned where the wife's lover is tortured in some manner that leaves him unable to have sex. It's really a Cliff Notes type of outline for writers in the LW genre, and we should all thank him for his help!

Enjoyed the twists in the story...but...wish you would have kept the daughter's name straight...was it Amy...Andi...or Toni?

I am tempted to write a Mad Lib for Swingerjoe's preferred story: "I am (insert name). My wife (Insert name) is (insert sexual act) some guy named (Insert name).

He inserts (insert body part) into my wife (insert name) about (insert number) times a (insert time frame). While they do this, I (insert feckless, impotent fetish) in the (insert room/piece of furniture/cock cage). Then the Bull does (insert deviation) to me afterward.

Then I lap up a creampie (this is not optional)"

Every story is the same way. It comes down to characters we like or hate and the details.

*****

This story...I lost it in the first 5 paragraphs. Qhml1 told me the story in 5 paragraphs...then he RETOLD me the story with the details. Why did I need the wind up? Were they two DIFFERENT people or did we see it from a third person POV and a first person POV? And if I am asking these questions, I am not paying attention to the story for a good long time until I can re-immerse myself (that happened around the time the daughter called the aunt)

THAT BEING SAID: SJ to the contrary, there were a few cute things in the story. The daughter's conversation with the aunt was stellar. The route of discovery was a bit clever. Pouring shit into a car is not clever but whatever. Not a negative.

I enjoyed wife two's response a lot more, but still not as much as to love it.

Wish there was more daughter in the story and a bit more nuance. Did not know or care about any of these people, but that is due to the length.

Hope you are feeling better Q

Good story to start my morning off with a smile, a laugh even here and there. Gave you five stars just in case some of the trolls are handing out ones this morning.

Who cares? It was pretty well.written .Had some levity.Once again the only people that seem upset about this is you.If you don't like these type stories don't read them.Simple really. Thanks for the read Q.Not your best but light years better than most of what is posted here anymore

I always love it when people I don't know, who know nothing about me, tell me what I like and don't like. If you can find any story that I've written or commented on where I have praised the "creampie-eating scene", I'll give you a dollar.

Qhml1 is a terrific writer and a Literotica legend. I guess I just expected more from him than what I've seen this week. I enjoy stories that are erotic and/or entertaining and/or thought-provoking. This story (and the others he posted this week) is none of those things -- in my opinion.

I find it very difficult to relate to the heroic victim husbands in these paint-by-numbers stories -- again, maybe this is because I've never been divorced. If I had been, then maybe I could place myself in the victim's shoes and cheer him as he exacts his revenge against his heartless wife. I have to be able to relate to a character in order to care about what happens to him/her. The characters in these stories are so one-dimensional they make cartoon characters seem like real people.

On that same note, if the narrator himself doesn't seem to care much about his marriage, why should any reader care what happens to that marriage? The marriage portrayed in this story was over long before the cheating was discovered. Once it was discovered, the narrator didn't seem all that disturbed by it. He just shrugged his shoulders and said, "It's over." Then began his ridiculous spying and revenge plot.

Re. the ratings in LW, how many times do we need to see readers freely admit that they are rating a story for no other reason than to use as a weapon before we all admit that the ratings here are pointless? I see it every day from Bonnie/Vastie: "Five stars to offset the asshole of Lit!" and whoever it is that fights with her on a daily basis. They are far from the only ones that do it. It's ridiculous.

Hell, even after I shut off all the ratings for all my LW stories, I still -- to this day -- get people who will take the time to go through all my other non-LW stories and one-bomb them, for no other reason than it's the only weapon they have left.

Lighten up Francis.

The story the author told at the beginning would have been better left for the end.

But the detailing was excellent.

This was enjoyable enough, with a few genuinely funny moments. Nothing I'll ever care to revisit, but fine.

First, it is rare these days for a suburban area not to have sewers. Most places require 1.5 acre lots for a septic system. As to septic tank filters or Affluent filters, they filter the runoff to the drain field. Their input is normal about 12-14 inches under the surface. Since condoms float, they remain in the foam layer on top of the tank and will be removed at the next pumping. (every tank should be pumped annually). But it makes a good story.

Made for a good morning chuckle to go with my blonde.

Coffee that is. Cali style. 😆

He would have been up for assault for what happened at the house and 2 contempts of court for his behavior at both the counselors.

The two of them deserve each other.

However, it's not up to your usual standards. Of course, you know why it got such high ratings. It's the revenge component, both for the wronged husband, and with the new girlfriend's revenge on her previous husband. Don't think that the girlfriend/new wife's revenge on her husband would pass muster on avoiding and assault charge, as the hospital would have to report what she said in front of the doctor and nurse to the police. I guess that she might get a pass on prosecutorial discretion. A little outrageous, but better than most on this site. However, it's not a 4.50. That rating should only be for a truly outstanding story. This one is not that.

why are you misogynists allowed to post your trash here? why cant these husbands see that a wife has needs that they cant fulfill? why cant you just accept it and enjoy having a wife who fucks other men? why cant you just jack your penises with the rest of us progressive men? its fun to watch i swear!!!!! (my chastity cage chafes)

ROTFLMAO...

What a good story that makes one laugh...

That first one about 'septic juice' had me rolling...

Poison Ivy in the KY just about killed me...

Even though that similar idea has been used before, it hasn't been done with so much fun.

Thank you Q,

Great tale as usual, Q. Relatively short but still a damn good read. The reference to Richard Pryor was priceless, too. Awesome sense of humor in this tale. Wifey thought she was being slick, but the condoms backed up the sewage system. Hubby takes care of business in a very... smelly way, of course. Poo jokes are always funny.

Confucius say: "Wifey who thinks her poo don't stink, soon is doused in poo."

Ok, not really, but he would've probably said something like that about a cheating Wifey. LOL

5 Laughing Stars

Q I'm in a bit of a moral quandary , 1st I'm afraid that your recent output of wonderful postings is a result of your recent medical setbacks which in turn kinda makes me feel guilty for all the wonderful entertainment that I am having over this ! Am I wrong to wish for a few more weeks of you convalescenting (?) while you continue to pump out great stories ? Is my very moral compass becoming out of kilter ? Oh well , guess I'll just have to chance it !!! lol chuckle ( get well soon)

Now as to the words chosen for the heading of my comment , All of you Asswipes that are continually bemoaning which ever little nitpicking thing that you can possibly think of , yes you , why in the hell don't you write a story and post it here so qhml1 can take it apart over any little typo or other error that will occur ! It's awfully easy to bitch and bemoan others when you have no skin in the game ! I honestly think a lot of this is pure old fashioned green envy ! So just sit back and fire your lnconsequential little barbs , while the rest of us enjoy the Laureate of Loving Wives posts and watch the little red boxes pop up like toad stools after a warm southern summer rain !!!

5*'s

Cpprcrk

I enjoyed this story! It mad me laugh as to how both victims of cheating spouses got even! I believe in Karma and that whole scenario gave me a wiked laugh! Thanks!

Other than the details of septic systems; who cares? It was a funny story anyway.

My problem or question: What's the deal with the latest trend of having one of the cheated spouses children end up as a homosexual? Really there are categories specifically for that i.e. lesbian or gay male; where one would expect to read about that. It seems to be just more of an agenda to be ignored rather than celebrated; if everything were to be equal. I think the whole thing has gotten out of hand when it's blasted throughout categories that were at one time specifically heterosexual.

It just shows more bandwagon popularity and people wanting to "toe the line" as it were. So, sorry I had to deduct 1* for submitting to an agenda.

Loved the story, but the daughter may suffer from an indentity crisis;)

What a ridiculous tale from beginning to end. Even as a comedy, it wasn't all that entertaining. Between the plot and all the errors it seems as though the author just phoned this one in. Naturally, his loyal fans award him with kudos and a red H. I think that proves the point that others are making about ratings in this category, no? Talk about a perfect example of a rating not reflecting the quality of the story.

I'd give this one star, but why bother?

Normally I'd give you five stars just for the title alone, but thank you for this little gem.

good story enough said. Eat it dear annony you old ugly fag!! Nothing worst than that

This one could be an HDK story (and that is a compliment). Dry, droll, and hilarious - what a great read - and a happy clean ending as well. Love the boom box! Boom! Put a big smile upon my face this morning (thank you Q).

so that's what I gave it! [I didn't know that septic tanks had filters -- guess that I'll have to check mine, ha, ha!]

was a way to scare away the protests. TK U MLJ LV NV

... to being curious what happened to Beth. Just wonder if she was ever able to repair her relationship with her daughter and if she faced any consequences at work since there was a theory that the lovebirds worked together.

I found it very amusing and entertaining. Oh, and the quote from the comedy album? "Don't come drivin' through here like you crazy! This ain't no neighborhood! It's a residential district!" It was Richard Pryor. And yeah, I had the album myself back in the day. ;)

This should perhaps have been submitted as a Humor & Satire story. As entertainment, it was light and quite funny. Equally funny are many of the comments that take it seriously and agree that the wronged husband had no choice but to do the things he did.

As others have said, it followed the formula. But it did it in an entertaining manner and I found it good light reading.

It's perhaps a bit worrying that the author himself seemed to be taking the theme seriously toward the end when (as required by the formula) he found joy and harmony with an alternate partner.

Only yesterday I found rpsuch's story 'What I Learned From Literotica' in Humor & Satire. I must go back and tick off the list as it applies to this story.

Finally, on a serious note, as Swingerjoe said: "if the narrator himself doesn't seem to care much about his marriage, why should any reader care what happens to that marriage?" There was no indication of the husband doing anything to make the first marriage work and no indication that he had learned anything that would cause him to behave differently in his second one.

L

Man, what an erotic story! Nothing like reading about a shitty marriage by a shitty man to a shitty woman to make the old juices flow. How about that divorce? Damn that was hot! After reading that, I want to grab my girlfriend and fuck her right here right now.

Am I right guys?

prophylactics in the septic system; now that was a creative way to make a discovery like that.

Were I "Rubber" I don't think I would have handled it the way he did. For one I think I would have put more than just urine in the beer containers. What would work? Let's see, there's got to be some kind of clear liquid that clears up constipation. I mean anything like lighter fluid wouldn't work because I know my granddad used that in his illegal whiskey. Maybe some kid of clear liquid that would make the gentleman deathly ill.

The taped shot gun blast and hollering was only OK. There had to be a better way to expose Beth. I know, they both worked at the same company. Why not take some of the tapes to their Human Resources people. But then when Rubber divorced her he'd end up having to pay some kind of alimony. I don't know; it might be worth costing her and her boyfriend their jobs. That would go a long way with members of her family too I bet.

The one regret is their daughter's awareness and indirect involvement. That would not have meant any kind of reconciliation however.

Of course this is a five, if only for originality.

Thanks for the read.

Jedd Clapett

Thank you for sharing. I found it very entertaining and really enjoyed it.

Thanks!

qhml love most of your work, and this was a nice piece. To nit pick just a bit, you swapped the daughters name several times (Amy, Andi, Toni). Other than that one thing, really enjoyed this one.

Great story, very original, too. Title works in two ways, right? Keep on writing, Q-man!

Q

That has to be one of the funniest stories I have ever read ! My gawd, I would hate to piss you off.

Thanks for the offering. I didn't feel like this one was your best. I guess it was a flash of sorts.

5. Great laugh.

FIVE STARS!!!!!

I might need some. But ugh, codeine locks me up.

Yeah, you changed the daughter's name, but the story was Fun. Meanwhile, if anybody is wondering what you're perfectly capable of doing while on "pain meds," they need to mosey on over to "Slices of Small Town Life."

Git 'er dun!

Who was Brain, or was that just Brian's brother?

I always enjoy the excuses and justifications, so I missed that. Otherwise a funny and righteous tale. Thank You.

It was a funny story. I liked it.

And I mean that with a laugh. Love it when Q posts, love it even more when the cucks cry in the comment section. The poison ivy in the lube is priceless!! Keep em coming Q and hope you get well soon!

If so, it's about fucking time. He was ruining his own stories by doing that shit. I, for one, didn't cut him an inch of slack any time he did it. I voted at least two stars lower because of it... the stupid fuck. If you're reading this, quimy, pay attention because I'll always penalize you for writing your shit stories to pacify the weak minded dick suckers.

Don't ya just love it when the cheated o spouse, or spouses, have a truly wicked sense of humor? I certainty do! The good ones won, the cheaters lost, what more can you reasonably ask for?

on the old saying " B T B " in BOTH directions!

GREAT STORY!

thanks for the laugh

An editor would have made this story much more readable. The characters' names changed and made the story (the premise of which I loved) very hard for me to read.

This would have been better is the first and second paragraph was deleted.

Not up to most of your work.

Having had a clogged septic system once, I could just picture all the silliness that he went through. At least mine was only kid's toys and not rubbers. Hmmm, if it had been rubbers, maybe there wouldn't have been so many kid's toys. Ah, well, live and learn. That was a looong time ago.

He brought his husband. Oh brother. It was good until that social agenda move. Lost me

and who said there were no original punishments left out there.

The only thing I couldn't figure out was, were Amy, Andi and Toni sisters? No, that's Chad's daughter. No because Toni is the cousin of Amy's best friend, Jenny. Oh, so when he bought the new house three doors down Toni came with the house and became his new daughter. No, Jack, Toni's boyfriend, lives three doors down. OK now I'm confused, how many daughters does he have and what are their names? Only one and her full name was Amy Andi Toni Jones and she goes by all three as nick names whenever she feels like it. No, you dumbass I think Q1 just got the daughter's name mixed up. Why are you calling me a dumbass I didn't give his daughter three names. Now, was Jack sleeping with Toni when Chad bought the house? No, Chad bought the house five doors down with the pool not three doors down. Oh and that's where his daughter brought her roommates, Amy, Andi, Jenny and Toni to stay for the summer and lay by the pool with Jack. Did he use rubbers, too? Just forget it, give it a five for entertainment value and move on. Then pass me your medical marijuana, you're cut off.

You seem to be getting more and more bitter as an author.

@Anonymous 04/06/2016, "You seem to be getting more and more bitter as an author."

You have it wrong. Q is looking for new ideas, and this one was chuck full of them! I don't see bitterness. I see an author looking for something that hasn't been done over-n-over-n-over again. Let's be honest, there's only so many ways to skin this cat.

Regarding the reaction in counseling? If I was forced into counseling (hope I'm never there!) *I* hope I'd handle it that way. Let the counselor know the lay of the land, explain exactly why there's no hope, and go from there.

That's not bitterness, that's "get it the hell over-n-done with!"

Poison Ivy in a food processor, really innovative that one. I do agree about trying to please everyone with the PC crap about the gay son and his? husband. Wasn't needed for the story, had nothing to lead up to it and was kind of distracting. Other than that though it was a good read.

why in the world didn't you just start the tale, and waste time on the beginning about the clogged septic tank filter. You just essentially retold it after the story really began. Anyway, 5 *'s for the visuals.

shame, qhml1 could have at least proofread instead of rushing and submitting. it bugged me that his daughter had 3 names. still, it was a fun read.

Good story. It has a five star concept - very original - and a four story execution.

As usual the dialogue is excellent. It is a little light on the emotional detail for my taste, both his and the cheating wife's.

The daughter's name change has already been mentioned.

Also the origin of the idea for this story would be better than the end than the beginning.

Thanks for posting it.

Good story with humour and good ending.

I really like your gotcha, but your premise for the gotcha is inaccurate. I live in the country w/septic sys. There is NO filter on the inflow into a septic tank - how do the big chunks get into the tank then? If there is a rabbit screen filter on the outflow of the tank into the Distribution-box of the leach field then all the rubbers had to "FLOAT" some 10' from in to out, over the separation wall held up against the screen to fish out (and there ain't no screen). So as quaint as your story is you could not fish the rubbers out via a 'filter'. But I love your burn of the cheaters.

are a decent writer. You have wrapped my mind around some of your fantasies which only means that some of your tales have to be better than others. I am not criticizing. It was a cute idea. Thanks... Scotty

Well this story was different. Still laughing about the hospital scene. Ok it was a revenge story with a great twist. So what if a septic tank doesn't have a screen filter as written. It's still a funny revenge story. 5 stars and still laughing.

For the brainy anony asking this question: The juice of the stems and leaves of the poison ivy vine is the place to find said juice. Ever live in the country, brain?

Great story Q. Keep 'em coming.

I live in rural North Carolina, on eleven acres, that you can only get to by going down a private dirt road. Everyone around me has a septic system, because the county would have to take the road over and do maintenance in order to run water and sewer lines, and they're not about to spend the money.

I heard from so many people that condoms wouldn't get caught in the filter that I did an experiment.

I bought three condoms at a gas station, unrolled them, and flushed them down the toilet, while my wife looked on. She took it as a sign that dementia was finally setting in. Three days later I pulled the cover, found the filter and unscrewed it. For general information, it was about three feet long, six inches around, and had three inch chambers down the length of it. I was surprised to see it was almost clogged by what looked like little white chunks of gravel, and clinging about halfway down were two of the condoms. The third was in the top baffle.

Oh, and I did clean the filter with a garden hose before putting it back in place.

I feel so much better now.

Q

I live in rural North Carolina, on eleven acres, at the very end of a private dirt road. Everyone on the road has a septic system because in order to run water and sewer lines the county would have to condemn the road and build it up to state standards. The estimated cost is around three hundred thousand, and that's just if they gravel it.

I got so many comment telling me that it just wasn't possible to clog up a filter I did an experiment.

I bought three condoms from the machine in the gas station bathroom, unrolled them, and dropped them one at a time, flushing after each, in the guest bathroom. My wife looked on and shook her head, wondering how far my dementia had progressed,

Three days later I pulled the cover. The filter is located between the tank and the drain field, to ensure nothing solid can clog the lines. I unscrewed it and pulled it out. Just for general information, it was about three feet long. six inches around, divided into three inch baffles, all filled with something that looked like chunks of white gravel.

I found two of the condoms about six inches down, and the third at the top. I was so pleased with my little experiment I tried to show my wife, but she refused to come out.

Theory tested and proven, I put everything back together, after rinsing the "gravel" out with the garden hose.

Q

Oh, and to make poison ivy juice, cut as many leaves and vines as you can, chopping them into small segments, until you fill your implement. The wife wouldn't let me use the food processor, so I used the old blender I had that I used to grind compost. Grind the leaves and vines down to nothing, then tip the blender and press down with a wooden spoon or a spatula, and the juice will dribble out. It takes a lot of leaves and vines to make just a few drops, but the poison is seriously concentrated. I'd love to tell you what I was going to do with it, but I have to run to Walmart and buy the wife a new spatula before she has a conniption fit.

I had a summer job driving light utility trucks for the National Park Service. Maintenance had the unpleasant task of performing routine service on the septic tank at the official residence of the Superintendent. After the 2nd time the system backed up into the master bath the head of Maintenance suggested to the Superintendent that he discontinue flushing his used condoms because they were blocking the outflow to the drain field. You can imagine the conversation when the Superintendent stuttered, turned red, and asked that the suggestion be directed to his wife since he had not used condoms since getting a vasectomy several years ago. The Superintendent filed a request for an immediate transfer, his wife did not follow him to the new posting.

Fortunately, I have never had need for a marriage counselor, so I have no idea about how they work in the real world.

But it bugs me how, in these stories at least, the counselors seem to have an agenda to "save" the marriage, when their job SHOULD be, can/should this marriage be saved.

Great Story ! But FIRE YOU PROOFREADER ! LOL