All Comments on 'American Beauty'

As someone once said, I love it when a plan comes together. ) 5* from me.

The narrator has a huge problem. She's too beautiful. Peter would be the perfect man for her, but he's too married. Well fear not, Francis Macomber has a penchant for letting the boy scout-hearted run Rambo over lesser beings in the end. This was nuance-free, but rabid FM alcolytes won't much mind as long as good kicks evil in the keister.

Those of us, who prefer a few more overtones in his work ala " Interview with Superman " or " Heart of the Prairie " will have to wait for day when Mr. Macomber's sweet and pure dopes in process of meeting their great white hopes have to actually break a sweat before finding each other and living wholesomely ever after. The alterative hope is my investment in Spark Notes publishing," How to Write a Short Story" pays off. But either way, it won't be easy.

to me one of the best here.

It seems a little like a fairy tale, however. You just knew that the good-looking Peter and the beautiful Jess were going to hook up. The rival Scott was the bad guy and cheated with Peter's wife. Also Jess's tale was too predictable. She married the love of her life but he turned out to be too perverted for her taste. So the stars and the galaxies align together and Jess and Peter are together. I'm sorry, but Cinderella seems more real than this tale. Well written as usual but too unbelievable.

This was an interesting look at the psychology of a beautiful woman. I just wish it had been mentioned that she went for an alpha male, not just some nice sensitive guy. She wanted to get her hooks into the top dog, like most women do. His position and money attracted her as much as his "sensitivity". Of course he was attracted to her appearance. This is the way things are. Nice guys do not get the princess, unless they are a prince. Do not forget there is a pecking order. Nothing was really explored about the two main characters in regards to their behavior in their own marriages. Were they completely guilt free from their failed relationships? Had he ignored his wife? Had she driven her husband away?

Unfortunately only able to give a 5 star tip

and yes, an adult fairy tale (21st century Silas Marner?) but a great read.

I enjoyed this story, a refreshing change from the cuck rubbish that is taking over LW. Thank You.

Extremely well writen and an interesting tale. It was a joy to read.

That said, I felt it lacked emotional depth - perhaps due to point of view.

You are such a good writer that I feel the need to judge your stories more harshly as a way to demand more from you. There are writers who can just punch you in the gut with the emotion generated by the tale. Make me sweat and feel sick next time.

Another author would have taken this in a different direction. She (Jess) would have used her beauty to trap Scott, or she might have manipulated Moffat, or some such. But the fact that she DID NOT, was the real strength of this tale. Here's what I really liked.

1) She had modesty, instead of arrogance

2) She wasn't selfish or self-serving in thought or deed

3) Her self-esteem wasn't low, but she didn't assume she could have any man just because "every man wanted her" just because she was so "hot"

4) She had NO desire to be a slut, and was repulsed by the image, and the fear that someone would think that of her, guided her actions

5) She had no curiosity about "big cocks", and was able to walk away from them, instead of somehow becoming coerced into submission by them.

6) when she lost the respect of her husband, she divorced him quickly and quietly, without seeking some sort of revenge

7) Even though witnessing Scott and Callie initially "turned her on", a little, it didn't affect her rational and logical mind, and prevent her from doing the "right thing", and making Peter aware of the truth.

I often read stories here, and think that too many try too hard to magnify and celebrate the qualities and "virtues" of slutty women. Story after story try to explain or justify the behavior of women with loose or no morals. If a woman isn't interested in sex with multiple partners, she must be a frigid prude, right? I always wonder to myself, why would a woman WANT to be that way? Aren't there more woman who have enough self respect and self control to avoid those situations, and reject the men that might force that on them? Thanks FM, for a POV from a woman who feels more real than most portrayed upon this site. I am more attracted to her because of her actions, than by any descriptions of her outer beauty. A solid effort, keep up the good work!

Thanks for sharing.

I enjoyed it...5 stars

Always enjoy your stuff, thanks.

of the other people who try to write wouldn't read your stories and get a hint that are from another planet with their garbage. You got a one from me but it should be a five and judging from what else is offered today in loving wives there was not much competition.

FM-you're one of the best writers on Lit-much better than the usual predictable wham-bam stories here. Just one tiny quibble: Did you need to use "obsequious" three times?

The moment I saw that FM had posted a story I was happy....

I enjoyed your story very much. A classic case of good vs. evil. I've never had the talent or will to write from a woman's point of view. Again, well done.

Thanks for your hard work and please keep writing.

Woodmanone

Few writers have the technical skills of this writer. His stories are always clean and very literate. This story was a fun read. It didn't stir me up like the one the other day about text messaging. It lacked the intensity needed to be great. We have established that this writer can write very well.. extremely well. He will take his writing to the next level if he can create plots with the tension and emotion equal to his technical skills. He just may become the best writer on this site, if he isn't already.

As always well written. Personally I would have place this in Romance since the main characters are Peter & Jess and their developing romance. Peter's wife is a minor character whose flaws open the way for the romance to be realized. But the choice was not mine to make. Five stars as always.

What makes this a loving wife story; is not the wife he had (Callie) but, the wife he will have (Jess).

Head and shoulders above most of the tripe on this hub. Unique and fresh. Thanks, and I'm looking forward to your next post. 5*

The guy just gets a big promotion and he has sex with women in public and in front of employees? That was a stretch, especially since he was a smart guy.

I have no end of respect for HDK, but I still think this was a Five Star read! Thanks for the story.

The author's characters did what the author wanted them to do to tell his story. That's what distinguishes storytelling from journalism. Comments that characters in a story wouldn't do what the author clearly had them do are silly. FM's characters did what was consistent with the little we know of them, and they did it to tell a story.

One thing I always appreciate in an FM story is that he eventually ties up any loose ends and references made early in the story. I thought Marge might just be a device early on to bring out some background. I was beginning to wonder what happened to her when she pops back up and once again advances the story.

Thanks for an enjoyable read.

Ego is a minumental thing. After being a good one and then manage them, salesmen are a different breed. They have to be to keep facing the rejection they get everyday. Even if it;s not personal, no's hurt. Its very easy to go from the "peter" to "Scott" mode and never realize it......A very well done story with a lot of truisms.

Great to have another Mac story. I really liked the illustration of how stupid the cuckold fantasies are - first husband didn't deserve to be married to Broom Hilda, let alone this girl who was steadfastly faithful to him. Really liked the ending. Well done!

but by no means is she Stupid. TK U MLJ LV NV

but a beautiful woman w/o an ego? very rare.

I agree with the last comment about her being without an ego. Women that beautiful who resent that sort of attention get very bitter. She lacked that edge.

A well written tale though how and who deleted all this information on servers and phones was only glancingly dealt with.

But do we need every t crossed? No.

Novel, refreshing and the hallmark of a great author. 5*

I deeply despise the duplicitous, cold-hearted, calculating wives who drop all pretences once the cat is out of the bag. It beggars belief how they maintain a false front whilst utterly despising their husbands. I abhor this type of whore over a fallen wife who is humble, contrite and repentant over her hurtful actions.

Well stories from FM always are. Jess is believable as the beautiful woman who has to put up with all sorts of unwanted crap. I think Peter does not come across as assertive enough for a man in his position. But that's the way the story is. Thanks, 5*.

Boring, dull. I thought it was a story about Ken And Barbie but as they are dolls at least their three dimensional. Jess and Peter are flat lifeless and there is not enough meat on the other characters to carry them. 2*

So did they get married and live happily ever after??

First, I think you portrayed a woman's point of view, as through a man's eyes; what he thinks she thinks about herself, especially when she is way above average. We don't necessarily actually get to see a woman as she sees herself, but as a man thinks she sees herself. I actually agree with your portrayal from that perspective. Though, I do admit I really don't have a clue, and I don't think many men do (about knowing what a woman really thinks about herself when she is way above average in looks). My suspicion is that they probably suffer the same fears and shortcomings most of us have about some things, and maybe even more, that they'll lose their looks, etc.

Next, The rest of the story is so well done, that, even though it is really only an average plot line, the way you presented it is so far above average that it deserves a high score.

Thank you for writing. 5*

Regards,

-Pultoy

The story was superbly written, the girl reminded me of Norma Jean Mortensen (Marilyn Monroe). So she's a beautiful, immature, shy, woman no problem, but everybody else was also even more one dimensional. Scott was pure evil, the protagonist such a nice guy, flawless in every way.

So the story devolved into a Loving Wives Passion play, ending in an oh so sweet happy ever after. It was very good, but would have been so much better with more nuanced characters.

Chilley

Thanks for sharing.

Fucking Brilliantt

Nuff said

I almost gave you a 6 with Peter Hammill as the main character. But you didn't plug Robert Fripp, Peter Gabriel or Brian Eno in the story, so I gave you only a 5. Your fault.

Ok...OK... Yes there have been some women characters in the LW category which have been pretty strong and intelligent and with rational thought process. But lets face it we don't see a lot of that . The extremely well developed character of Jess made this is a very enjoyable story

Did I miss it? Who deleted the text messages and files from the server??

Scott handed his phone to peter when he got the text. Peter therefore erased the text. Jess erased the text from the big guys phone. It wasn't hard to put together. The server crash was to set up a feeling of impending failure for the scheme. That way we're all surprised when the other guy sends moffit the incriminating photos.

My only complaint is that the heart of the story, the betrayal and subsequent effects were coldly delivered by a third party. This was a romance story, with a cheating sub plot. Great writing, but with the marriage held at arms length, this didn't have the emotional feel I need to hand the fifth star.

What an incredible read. Interesting and well written.

Great Writing! Great storyline! Great 5* ! I'd give it more than 5* if poss. Well Done clearly a CLASSIC in loving wifes.

I have begun to read, but I remember of X_JohnDoe_X had a story, where a cuck tried to make the main character be a bull for his wife, but the wife left the cuck for the bull candidate.........I laughed on that story a lot. Unfortunatally X-JohnDoe_X withdrew his stories from SOL and Lit alike.

This was another wonderful tale from the master. Five stars.

to read this story along with Innocent Text Messages by Javmor69 Different perspectives on the trials and tribulations of being an attractive female. Both are excellent stories, in my opinion.

the most beautifull gal on earth. enuff is enuff. somebody please write about everyday attractive easy on the eyeballs women, and men also, without 24 inch dicks.**

Sweet!!

Very creative, pov.

Can we have another ?

AMerryMan

Guess wifey don't trade up after all :).

Nd this one was worth the wait.

Great story!! Held me captive all the way to the end

Great read. Thanks!

When the Playboy Club in Manchester, England opened; my wife's best friend talked her into providing moral support for her, as she joined the hundreds of girls vying for the few Bunny (waitress) positions available. Imagine her chagrin, when she was passed over as my wife (who had not applied) was hired! That's right, my wife was a Playboy Bunny, drop dead gorgeous, and for 36 years I've listened to her saying "there's no such thing as friends" and watched her shun the glamorous life. She has one of the best voices I've ever heard; sang with several big bands, dated Richard Branson and won't have anything to do with the music industry. Why? Because everything Jess said about the hassles of beauty is true. How did I end up with her? In spite of serious burn-out, she still dreamed of love and I never hit on her; didn't believe in sex outside of marriage and do believe in absolute fidelity. It was what she wanted too.

My first wife was a bunny girl as well. One of the first in Uk when when it opened in Park Lane in London back in the sixties. Didn't last long; the marriage that is not the job, though it was already pretty rocky when she started there. A young twenty odd year old, recently qualified engineer didn't stand much chance against the older and much richer guys she met there. She's subsequently married well, several times and now lives in America with ….. Ah! Afraid I can't disclose that. We still talk occasionally and still share a daughter (who I bought up), but I'm happy to report that I seem to be the happiest with my life.

but is it a rose or a petunia or an old dandelion, TK U MLJ LV NV

Hi Britease,

I know I'm not the only bunny hubby out there, but I sure didn't expect to hear from another so quickly! If I was married to my wife while she was a bunny I doubt I would still be with her now. That job is the acid test for any marriage, and my wife ended up divorced from her first husband as well. Luckily, I was her number three, and third times the charm. By then she was a lot more mature (27) and her attitude was very like Jess' in this story. Still, it was a rocky road with the cultural differences. (yes, she came to America too) The parallels here are scary! Cheers

All is well that ends well ..and hopefully ..they lived happily everafter ..!

... I found it a bit melodramatic and overdone. That may be my fault, rather than the authors. It would seem I don't sympathize with emotional pain, very well. Still I found it to be a good read. Panther fan.

Happy ending for both

great yarn

Tony NZ

"What if they had a chance to see the real Peter in action?" – Don’t you mean the real SCOTT?

“Scott gave a little hand gesture.” – Again, don’t you mean PETER? Why would SCOTT be cueing Jessica?

"How could he cheat on me that way?" she blubbered. "How could he humiliate me in front of all those people?" – LOL, He’ll cheat WITH you, he’ll cheat ON you! And why would you believe the accusations against your husband from the man who wants to get in your pants?

“But I kept looking for something more that I never seemed to find.” – How about taking the first step yourself, instead of waiting for him? Marge nailed it!

okay there were some fuck ups with the names, but Peter Scott was a famous bird watcher and this guy got the bird so hey whats the big deal?

great stuff or should I say great scott!

No secret agent super spies, just people dealing with the messiness in life.

Working my way the storys.. Haven't found a stinker yet!

MAC GYVER of stories.... man the tiny little geeky details cleverly inserted are astonishing.

keep up the effort, i really admire it.

loved al andalous too & others

Mostly I have enjoyed your stories. However, I have found myself confused at times. Because of your lack of descriptive, Expo could have been a code name or nickname of a product among other things. It wasn't until the plot to discredit Scott started that I realized it was an industry exposition to showcase the products that the company manufactured and/or sold. Personally I would have appreciated a better sense of what the company did.

It's not only illogical but inconceivable that Peter wouldn't have had Debbie make him a copy of that Expo fiasco so that he could show it to his cheating bitch wife, when announcing that Scott, her favorite cocksman, had been fired. Ergo... their much needed backup for when the server went down to crush the fucker with Mr Moffatt and the Board. The copied email from their biggest customer would have been icing on the cake to show his about to be ex whore what she was getting as a reward for betraying him and throwing her marriage away. Then he could truly enjoy seeing her dissolve into a puddle of shit.

Following the classic formula this story ticks all the boxes.

No real surprises..... That surprised me coming from this author.

A good read, and another 5*

Loved it. Still five stars. Great beginning. Kinda weak at the end.

Nice Job Francis...thanks for giving Me some solace and my understanding things a little better.

Time wounds all heels!...this twisted idiom has stuck with me the last year as I stepped out of a long marriage for the wiles of a beautiful seductress...and got horribly burned. I have taken on the responsibility of my wrong...while the seductress rolls along leaving trails of tears.

I am reading for ideas...cause she needs to be stopped...thanks for the stories.

I've read several of your stories. If I had a criticism it would be, not enough eroticism but I keep on reading and that says it all. Keep up the good work.

there must be a couple of extra sars lying aroud here.

I enjoyed this story from start to finish 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

With a lovely denouement. It's sad but true that there are way too many slimebags like Scott in the world -- and even more sadly, way too many of them get what they're after instead of what they deserve!

Thanks for another entertaining story!

Been over three years since the self idolizing lsd purchased that book on writing a short story.

Yet to see his efforts published.

Likely he prefers to pontificate on how insightful he deems his comments to be.

Francis Macomber is recognized by all but lsd as a premiere writer

Well done, with a solid plot, a technical double twist, a smooth delivery, and an ending with promise. Oh, and not too long. Nice job. 5*

For causing me to shed a few tears at work, that is. Well done!

Very nice story. My second time through it and it was just as enjoyable “the second time around “. But, bigredker, what the heck are you doing, reading Lit. stories at work? How do you get away with THAT?

I would have been wrong. This one topped it, thank you.

Good tale. Could have made it a little hotter

Great story!! 5*

I really enjoyed this story. We.had the evil villain in Scott. The evil, gold digging, slut wife, and the clueless hero in Peter. Riding in to save the day is white knight, Jess. Definitely a great story, although the burn was too gentle.

Nothing more than a teenage girl's "True Romance" story with all the clichés. Beautiful, unsatisfied woman, the heartless, cruel villain, and the ever-handsome, kind, honest, strong tall hero.

Made me puke.

Literotica is NOT the place for this kind of douche dribble.

Your comment is sorta true...

But the story seems to me to be a character study of the protagonist, not a plot driven work. The dramatic peak is the lecture Marge gave the protagonist, and perhaps her declaration to the male lead (but I don't think so - it was the pay off, but no real tension in my mind).

Would a full detailed plot have served better? Maybe - but it would have risked distraction from the character's growth, and required a new title.

Which is to say - calling something out for not being an apple when it is an orange shows little insight.

YMMV

Green-something

(would this be something a concerned father would wish to say to his daughter? Oh my yes...)

I enjoyed the story very much. “Jess” gave an interesting description of how her looks can be a detriment to her well-being. I’ve known a few truly beautiful women in my life and most of them were total narcissists. But one or two were down-to-earth people who just wanted to be treated with respect, and it was a shame to see them treated so badly by men who only saw them as objects to be used and abused. As I said, I enjoyed the story. I think it’s certainly worthy of Five Stars.

We have found the elusive General Public, he has taken upon himself to be the censor for Literotica, where he operates under the "Anonymous" handle, and as recently as 08/29/18 decreed that romantic, clichéd stories have no place at Literotica. So now we know.

Very much like the silly British Army officer who pops up in all sorts of Monty Python sketches telling everyone that he doesn't like what they're doing.

I suggest that the format "Anonymous" mentions, "Beautiful, unsatisfied woman, the heartless, cruel villain, and the ever-handsome, kind, honest, strong tall hero." is the basis for most films that have ever come out of Hollywood, and for most of the literary works of the world as well.

Things become cliches because they are the sort of things regular people want to see and read, very simple.

But "Anonymous" is wrong. As long as stories don't involve sex with people under 18, Literotica is pretty much a write-what-you-like kind of place.

This had a different POV from most stories you see here and I really liked the way you created symmetry from what you started with to the ending. Well done.

4-stars

...sad this writer hasn't posted a story in years. If you're still out there, thanks for a delightful tale that ended nicely.

Reading a story this well written and satisfying makes you wish the author was still writing. Great story.

Excellent BTB but didn't dwell on it and finished it up very upbeat, great story.

Worth a 5, without question

Macomber is a highly skilled writer and produced a masterpiece.

I will have to see if this fine writer has more stories ..

TEN Star effort.

Can anyone answer me one simple question.

Why has an author with such immense talent stopped writing?

Disillusioned? Burnt out? Writer’s block?

Has he gone on to full time author?

He is sorely missed given the garbage we have to wade through to find anything remotely close to this authors talent.

My understanding is that, unfortunately, the man writing as FrancisMacomber has passed on. I miss him, too.

GA

Love the story, you always wonder why seeming talented an author all of a sudden quits writing on Literotica. Did he or she get tired of the Anonymous comments that are sometimes so negative, did he or she move on to more success and write in a different venue or as I read the comments of GeorgeAnderson posted 2 days ago that this talented author has passed on. I along with some other commenters will miss the author of these stories. If he has passed on, Rest in Peace FrancisMacomber your writings will be missed. 5 stars

Why post anything here other than as a beta-test for kindle unlimited? Money makes the oblate spheroid traverse its parabola, not freeloaders.

Never