All Comments on 'Andi and The Camera Club Ch. 01'

It is hard to believe that this is your first submission. thank you.

This story starts out very well, with an amazing beginning and build-up. The section right up to the first meeting with the club is awesome and would best almost any writing on this site.

Sadly, once there is more than one person involved, it becomes cheesy and lacks cohesion. Why do you stop describing how she is feeling? you were doing so well up to there. From almost sublime to decidedly mundane in 2 paragraphs.

What this story needs to sparkle is simply more of what you put in to the first part.

Why did she notice the ad? Why did she reply to it? How did she feel about the guys - what did they look like close up?

You also need to flesh out your male characters. I realise that the main readership is male but the women need to interact with real characters, not cardboard cut-outs.

Still, as I said, a great first effort and I will of course admit here and now to being merely an aficionado not an author!

4* for the start, 2* for the end, 3* overall.

Really nicely written story - looking forward to Part 2.

The comments are much appreciated, guys, thanks.

In answer to the helpful suggestions, I was trying to avoid being boring with too much introspection, instead wanting to give the reader something to enjoy. Maybe I didn't get the balance. Any other views or suggestions out there? Should I re-write some of it?

Oh, and Chapter 2 is in progress

andi

Hey AndreaSubbie: I wrote five chapters of what I intend to be a novel about a female college student who is coerced into spending the last two months of a college semester completely naked. I was hesitant to post it here on Literotica since there wasn't any actual sex in it (outside of one very short masturbation scene). The fifth chapter is coming tomorrow, and the first four chapters have been well received. I enjoyed your story on Andi and the Camera Club. I thought the pacing was good (although being the exhibitionist that I am, I would have had my character take the panties off too). Your descriptions of what Andi feels during the photo shoot were really good. I thought the men were a little too aggressive (and that may be why they hadn't had a model for a while). I am looking forward to chapter two.

Good story... got me horny and did the job...

this is the first time I have ever scored a story or written to praise one.

Ethicsboy

great job on your first try. as a photographer i felt drawn in quickly. keep it up and add more.

Wow, that was a really good story. Nice pace and just the right amount of that 'tease factor' that I prefer. Nice job!!

Very sexy .... I would have drawn it out longer .... but looking forward to second chapter.

Super job on pacing and story. Love your user photo. Looking forward to your next chapter.

What a fun story! You brought us along perfectly and we could enjoy watching you get more and more turned on! Looking forward to more from you!

Nicely paced. Internal dialog was very believable. I'll look forward to more of your stories.

Well done. Like others here I will be waiting anxiously for your next chapter and story.

Fantastic! And it just goes to show that you don't need graphic sex scenes to make s a story sexy as hell. I loved it and look forward to more!

Can't wait to read part 2!!

Nice story sexy and teasing without the usual sex act at the end, can we have more

of her adventures please.

truly delightful to read

well written , sassy & bright with

a nice dash of naughtiness

Mr Kipling makes good cakes ,

Andrea writes Exceedingly well

Your writing shows a lot of polish and your building of suspence works for me. I notice there's more and will read them with interest.

Great start

Please keep writing...enjoyed it very much - maybe add some spanking or other bdsm

Posing for boyfriends or a husband can be fun and sexy, posing for a group of strangers can be downright thrilling. I had bought my then boyfriend / now husband a nice camera. He joined a photography club to be able to develop the film he took of me and to learn more about taking good pictures.

That was all well and good till one night while developing some rolls of film of me a few of the other members showed up and spotted some of the enlargements he had printed of me. To this day he swears it was an accident but I believe he wanted to show off my pictures.

They all seemed to really like what they saw and asked who she was. He said it was just a friend who enjoyed posing and they all wanted to know if I might be willing to pose for one of their bi monthly model nights which were at the time only portraits and fashion shoots.

I said no way, but he kept after me for several weeks along with showing some of them more shots of me in different scenes like at home, on the beach and in the woods. He kept telling me how interested they were in my posing for them. Till one day I said I couldn't do it in front of the dozen or so strangers in the club.

He then suggested maybe meeting and posing for just one or two of them outdoors, somewhere private, and if I didn't feel comfortable I could refuse or just let them do a few portraits. I finally agreed, my body my rules. It was a fun day and so much more exciting than even my fantasies over the weeks.

I did finally agree to pose for the whole club which was even better, several times. The money wasn't much but I wasn't doing it for that. Some even got together with us for doing outdoors stuff in groups of two to four people which were a lot of fun.

You can write an extremely erotic story w/o getting too explicit. I found myself incredibly aroused. Contact me at gavican2003@att.net if you would like to discuss your talents further. You are already an accomplished author, with even greater potential. Prof. Gav

Very well done, slow build that really pays off :)

A great story beautifully written. A credible scenario and a wonderful, slow build up.

Loved it.