All Comments on 'Babs Ch. 03'

You always amaze me with the twists and turns you put in your stories. More often than not, you surprise me with the directions that the storyline takes. I suspected that you were going to some sort of high risk situation for Adam, but I didn’t see this direction from Sally or Babs. Can’t wait to see your next update

Why go to church if you’re not a believer? Why ruin a perfectly good Sunday morning to listen to a sermon you don’t believe in?

I stopped reading after that because why would anyone sit through bullshit that doesn’t make sense….like this story.

Waiting for the ending. Good so far.

Too complucated.

Only reason she stays in this marriage is to humiliate him. No idea why he's into it, but they should stop pretending to be married and let her go mess around with whoever while he sulks and spanks himself or something.

i was so-so with the first two chapters. Most overriding was the absurdity/premise of the whole story, but there have been a few stumbles in your development of the characters that didn't make sense. That said, I really enjoyed the complex subplots you've started to play with and it drew me in. I am really looking forward to the next chapter. 5* for this one.

Shouldnt he just throw his dumb ass into an outhouse, that way his pathetic life would be over and this story, though well written, would be as well.

Am not liking this story as much as your excellent “My Only Talent” series. Certainly the characters are not as relateable

Any more chapters or was this the end?????

To the main character:

"Robert and Barbara qualified as my neighbors in the biblical sense. I certainly knew Barbara in the biblical sense. Was I treating them as I would want to be treated? How could I tell?" -

• Yes, they are your neighbors biblically speaking.

• Yes, you do know Barbara in a biblical sense, that is referred to as fornication and frowned upon by God.

• If one is to be honest with oneself, no, you are not treating them as you would want to be treated.

• You already know the answer or you would not be asking yourself these questions!

"But should I be trying to shape Robert away from his aberrant behavior, rather than enabling it? Was I kidding myself about helping Barbara and the girls, and just giving in to my own dirty desires?" -

• Yes, you are manipulating Robert with your position of authority over him instead of actually helping him.

• Yes, you are using him and HIS WIFE for your own carnal pleasure. YOU are the Beast.

"I spent a little time thinking about my future actions and their consequences. I wasn't quite ready to acknowledge and bewail my manifold sins and wickedness, but I was getting thoughtful. How they might react. What haven't I done so far? What would be the most symbolic? Some of the ideas turned me on, but others did not. What would turn them on? What should I do?" -

• Face it, you are a morally, ethically, socially and spiritually bankrupt individual performing as a narcissistic sociopath. Your bottom line concerns so far have been how you are going to look to those you feel have power over you and how a bad reflexion on you will affect you financially.

Just one thing, minor really, but rather annoying and I know it's too late to do anything about it. But the repeated use of Sally's last name is getting to me. By this point in the story, we know which Sally Adam is talking about, not to mention that she's the ONLY Sally here. If there were another one, then it would be useful.

Consistency and continuity are valuable technical aspects of writing.

The author wrote"I turned Babs around so Robert could see the focus of my attention. He was breathing so hard I could feel the breeze on my cock, which was still dripping wet with her pussy juice," just a few lines after telling us that 1) He wore a condom while in her pussy, and 2) After he had come in her mouth.

Where would pussy juice dripping from his cock come from?