All Comments on 'Brandi's Erotic Awakening Ch. 01'

I really enjoyed this story liked the build up to the party,can't wait to see what happens next.

You started the story in the 1st person.

"I had been trying to hatch this little plan..."

"I met my current wife Brandi..."

Then you changed to the 3rd person.

"Ken did a quick size up on Gregor."

"Gregor held out his hand to Ken."

It would have been much better if the whole story had been in the 1st person.

For the first time out was a very good effort, very good idea,, good build up and very good sex scene in the end,,, However as has been mentioned badly in need of an editor, it' seem at time it was hard to decide just who's story this was,, the Ist person to 3rd person thing was madding and then at times it was Brandi telling the story,, all things that could be cleaned up with the help of an editor,,, for sure,,, but still a very hot story and looking forward to reading about the rest of Ken's and Brandi's night at the party and the aftermath,,,

Excellent first effort. Where does it go from here? V keen to find out. Ken