All Comments on 'Bubbles in the Grass'

There is more power per word here than in anything I have ever seen on this site. It was horrifying, fascinating and everything I imagine a person that broken and desperate would feel. There was a movie with Julia Roberts that gave me this same feeling. I hated the story. I'm in awe of your writing. This is a masterpiece.

RPL

Don't ever do this again.

but hopeful. Thank you

I have trouble with this kind of story. It is well written, and has a subject that is on the front of many minds. However I really dislike this type simply because it is too true to life. I have seen this kind of thing, and it scars the very soul of a person. Keep writing.

Domestic abuse is horrendous (to either gender). Well written if very dark... I hope Mary escaped.

Dark? yes; but then so is life for too many people. Very well done and thank you for writing. Marissa brings light into the dark. G

You definitely made your point in short order and extremely vividly while addressing all the harrowing issues that a woman and a mother face in a horrible abusive relationship! Impressive!

I am a realist but some time it's for me to accept this notion that such kind of people exists in society (not talking about tribes). But it sad reality and hurts. Hiw can a person be so cruel inhuman. Can't even compare them to the filthiest creatures nature can provide.

A great job with a very difficult subject. Well done bringing this issue to LW.

The husband was lower than a cuckold. He deserved every single drop of that she could boil. Hopefully he’ll learn his lesson but probably not.

I don't usually comment twice but I am relieved to read the tone of the comments and that this important piece is not being denigrated .

Wow, that was dark. What made it so intense and outstanding was the fact that this kind of shit happens all the time. I like that she didn't fall madly in love with her white knight. Someone with kind eyes was all she needed. Great story, Randi.

In a professional existance, seen it had to deal with the fall out ( children traumatised almost beyond help) and the the injured spouse who somehow found the courage to get out from the yoke of abuse . A very hard read, but should be compulsory, we need the dark so that the light shines brighter. Thanks for highlighting the corruption of supposed 'loving relationships'.

Next up a smiley one? Thanks.

What an incredible piece of writing. It almost reads as a poem to me. It is beautiful, powerful, and heartbreaking all at once. Thank you for shining a light on this shadow. You've once again shown why you are the best writer here.

Are you sure this wasn't a mashup of Schism, Jimmy, and Prison Sex? 46&2 was more about reaching enlightenment based on the ideas of Drunvalo Melchizadek while just sounding dark and heavy with Maynard's bass riff. Mary doesn't reach enlightenment but does recognize her situation and seeks to extricate herself from the abuse ala Schism, Jimmy, and Prison Sex.

I agree with @Powersworder..."domestic abuse is horrendous"! Most of the times abusers don't pay enough...4*

I have read this before, but it deserves comment.

Yes, it's very dark, but it tells a story that needs to be told.

To the question about Mary escaping. I think it's obvious that Mary escapes the fire. As to escaping prosecution, I don't think it matters! There's nothing the legal system can do to her that can hold a candle to what he did to her.

Point made well and quickly. Dark and sparse. Sets the mood perfectly.

Hooked

I don't begrudge you your fantasy, but I'm not sure perpetuating the cycle of violence is wise.

This is why you are in my top five favorite writers. You do emotion like no one else. I hope this is not from experience. The ability you have to do so many different kinds of stories shows your talent. Five stars.

often have no hope and never escape. It's disturbing how many people think they own their spouse, or significant other. It's frightening how many people either accept or cannot escape this sort of treatment. Randi has just splashed a bit of light on the darkness that is abuse.

I have someone close to me who was abused and it is agonizing to hear what she went through. Excellent story and very intense. My heart was racing reading this story.

Yup... 5 stars

Glad to see you back.

It's terrible that most victims won't fight back and if they do, they get much harsher sentences than the abuser.

As a man she should’ve done it long ago . A real man wouldn’t hurt a woman. Hopefully for her and her child’s sake she finds someone to love them the way it should be.

Wow... just wow! That story shows what an amazing writer you are. Thank you for sharing your gift!

Dan

"The horror"

Thanks again

Having been the rescuer of a person from domestic violence, I can say well done you have captured every emotion they go through when they get the strength to finally leavr. I wish you would do a follow up as to what happens next and then another in the healing...great job

Like a literary version of an impressionist painting. A very good, very dark impressionist painting

From former comments, most understand the problem! Yet most of us don't comprehend the fear and pain of domestic abuse. So I ask folks to support their local programs to combat this problem and when I say supportI don't mean just with your voice, give them some funds to do their job and don'tblame the victim until you have walked in their shoes.

There is beauty, even in darkness.

Thank you for bringing this into the light.

This does exist. I like your statement to bring it to the light of day

You bring to light a horrible crime that happens way too much. That psycho got what he deserved which doesn't always happen in real life.

I read your warning, then the 1st few sentences, then closed it out - only to reopen it and check the ending.

My faith in you was again confirmed.

Less dark than I had feared.

So I read it through. And I pray the protagonist is now healed in mind, body, spirit.

You also reminded me of some reasons for my purchase, years ago, of a Smith & Wesson revolver.

Thank you.

I loved it as usual. "I think Cunt died back there in that house." really (ha, ha). 5*

5* as I like happy ending.

But the police and courts will not see it that way. Especially if she never reported her injuries. The DA will probably prosecute her as she did a violent act with will disfiqure him if he is alive. So she does time and the child goes into a foster home . As child protective service hardly protects the victims and is under funded and it’s staff overwhelmed . So this cannot be a good ending to this battered women.

this piece is incredible. First, it elevates this genre and this entire site by it's subject matter. This is an extremely serious piece about an extremely serious problem. In this short story, Randi shows us all what desperation is. She makes us feel it for ourselves.

Congratulations and thank you!

What a terrible story …. terrible for the victims, terrible for the reader, terrible for every one involved. Thank you, Randi, for having a strong enough sense of empathy to write this!

I've been in BDSM my whole adult life and many submissive women I've been involved with have told me that at some point they had been with abusive men as depicted above. Confusing their bullying, abusive behavior for a "dominant". They are the furthest thing from that. They are insecure weak little men, typically shit for jobs, who believe they can elevate their self-worth, both in their eyes and in others, by bullying and putting down someone weaker than them (women and children).

Each time she capitalizes when referring to him was like a punch to my gut. It truly bothered me. I get why she did that as I'm sure he had demanded that of her, but a piece of shit like that has no honor and deserves none. It's bothersome to read that even knowing that it was forced and contrived.

Again, I get why you put in the honorific, but when one steps back and realizes that she writes this story after she has stood up to him (in the most forceful of ways at that) makes one wonder if there is still the residual effect of her conditioning that she is still referring to him in that same manner.

Might have been interesting to contrast referring to him without the capitalization after she gets away from him to depict her changing and healing mindset.

One last point. I believe that likely a great number of the LW stories are written by abusive men who are delusional about themselves and thrust all the blame for the breakdown of their marriage on the wife and her leaving him for the other man (just like this piece of shit would have- if he had lived that is). They need not be abusive to this level, or this obviously, or even physically abusive. But there are many forms of abuse that grates on a woman after living with someone like that for many years.

That's the word. Every word designed to carry maximum impact. This is, maybe, the most polished story I've seen here. I'm not sure it belongs here. Not because it wasn't a great story and a great read, but because it needs to be published where millions of people can read it. The subject is that important and the writing is that good. Top marks.

Just true. If only more women would find that inner courage and break free. At least now some courts find justification for such action, not so when I was younger and watched the mother of a good friend beaten so many times. If only...

This is someone who hacked your profile. Where is that sweet sexy romantic? This is dark and deep. I want the other Randi back. This is a great story, and you've earned the right to write it, but I want the other Randi. Five stars, of course.

Abuse by either spouse is wrong!!! Sometimes measures have to be taken.

Depressing. But powerful. Well written, as usual.

the dark place was created by your imagination and powerful writing, not experience.

This is an amazing story. So intense and focused that it seems to come from personal experience. I pray that this isn't true and that it just shows your brilliance as an author. I haven't seen anything like this before, it's too good for LW.

Nothing extra-marital nor fun.

I wasn't sure whether to cry or cheer

I can only hope that this is not part of your past life, or of someone you know. No one should have to endure abuse, but we know that it goes on all around us.

Excellent short story - You can feel her pain

but this story was accurate. you grow up with the abuse, you get used to it.

people feel badly for me if i tell them, but i don't care. their empathy doesn't reach me.

i can't feel what they felt in a normal home. i am not jealous. i'm lucky it didn't get worse, if anything. but you get used to the cutting remarks, the sporadic bouts of violence. you understand it more, laugh at it more, commiserate with it more. but i wont understand 'normal'. i cannot feel robbed of something i never felt. maybe the first memory i have of it shocked me. i remember being shocked. then it became the norm. it's a cycle. i'm happy about breaking it though. i didn't pass the abuse to my next family. i can say that proudly.

and i agree it's best to leave the abuse, but only when safe to do so. there are stupid ways to go about it. for me it's natural like breathing, to read a face....to really read it. to avoid upsetting and angering someone. a lot of happily normal people i'v noticed over the years lack this ability. their well-being never depended on it. so i'll say to you people, couch your enthusiasm to tell a victim to 'flee'. they have to leave when it is safest to do so. you aren't a movie star. i'm glad the protagonist had an exit plan. her decision to confront the husband with a sneak attack was both smart and stupid. abusive people understand violence really well. in that regard, she'll be MORE able to leave without him following. abusive people are usually portrayed as cowards in media, and that's usually horse-manure. abusive people usually grew up around it, and it's water off a duck's back. but they respect it. maybe a small percentage are bullies with a sheltered life. my lived experience has been over 90% of abusive types are brawlers.

A huge problem everywhere and a lot of it goes unreported for the obvious reasons. I do wish you had made the point elsewhere. This just doesn't seem like a fit for the loving wives section on Literotica.

That's who you are. Every one you write is perfect. Thank you!

R.

I do not usually comment on my own stories, but I should clarify: No, I have never been abused. My father, and my husband, are the opposite of abusers. Yes, I have a very good friend who was married to a monster. As one anonymous said, she will never be "normal" again.

@Johnadp: i did change the case. After the sentence "I throw more than a gallon of boiling water into his face," I never capitalized it again unless it began a sentence.

@Kingbandor: Suck my dick.

@Asshole Annie: Goodbye.

@All the kind readers and writers, thank you for being supportive.

Mary did what she had to do to protect her daughter from a monster.

Mommy became a monster slayer.

But if there were no monsters, nobody would have to slay them, right?

In domestic abuse cases like this one the victim very seldom gets help. Hopefully once he hit the ground the bat did a complete job. 5*

Monsters are real. Started to think of how this Peter Thomas was going to be. Many time women like this one will go right back into another abusive relationship. It was a really goo/sad story

Thank you

Assuming that investigators are interested enough to examine things closely enough to decide that he was attacked prior to the fire, and that the fire wasn't accidental, and that they then tracked her down, I would think that her injuries would give her some cover, maybe her daughter knows more than was described in the story.

Truly sorry to hear your story, but very glad you shared it. I agree wholeheartedly with you that to put the onus on the victim of domestic violence (especially one to the level that is portrayed in this story) to have the "courage" to get out of the situation is very naive. These women are often beat down emotionally and psychologically, as well as physically, and are often terrified by the men in their lives for both themselves and their children.

I think the onus is on us men. Men are the problem and men need to be at least part of the solution. For those commenters that said that domestic violence is terrible by both genders, I call bullshit. Eighty-five percent of domestic violence victims are women. Ninety-four percent of the murder-suicide victims are women. Ninety-eight percent of rape victims are women. Eigthy-eight percent of child molestors are women (although in the case of children under 14 it's almost exclusively men). To insinuate that both genders victimize the other equally is an insult to women.

But back to the onus being on men needing to stand up for women. Male relatives, coworkers, neighbors, all of those that are aware that abuse is going on must have the "courage" to stand up for the women. As a gender we are the problem, so that we must also be the solution.

Wrong category !

My aunt was in an abusive relationship for 25 years both mental and physical. She says the mental abuse still bothers her to this day even knowing her husband killed himself years ago. Nobody female or male should ever have to endure this abuse in their life. You really brought this situation into the light, as usual great writing!

That was intense. Made more so by knowing that there are plenty of "He"s (and "She"s) out there.

Thank you for sharing. This, THIS is the heartbreaking snapshot of domestic violence.

He sounded drunk when he entered the kitchen and may not even remember the sequence of events. I do not feel confidence that Peter is other than an another

Predator. It is really a shame that we cannot do anything for these people, both the victims and the perturbed bruisers.

But considering the author and her mentor I resolved to carry on. It was horrible and easy to follow. The really horrible thing is that I don't see how we can solve the problem and here in the present case I can even see the police bringing charges against the victim.

Oh yes, this is the kind of story we want to read here.

I have only one line I need interpreted... "I crawl on my belly in the dark sunlight."

Is this a shadow of her "old self" she's remembering or living? or is there another meaning that I glossed over?

Wouldn't a knife work as well? I know the boiling water is an old trick that never seems to phase out of style among the old school northern Europeans.

Smokepole

Seriously emotive.

Dark indeed.

...really well done. Thank you. 5 stars

Loklie

To me all LW stories are about the emotion. This was dark and rightly so.

For my taste it would have been better if she knew she’d get the bat for a late meal. Instead, as he approaches bat in hand he gets water, drops bat, gets hir by bat, and arrested. Goes to prison as ugly eunuch.

Brilliant word-painting of a scene of horror, but not without hope.

Thank you, friend.

GA.

From my favorite writer. 5* as always. I hate men who hit women. Period. In my ending she gers away to a man who will love her just because shes a human being and a woman. He deserves what he got and more. Hope the bread catches fire and house burns down around him. Great story.

had the desired effect, thank you

I volunteer at a local facility for those who are abused and see far too much of this. More people need to get involved and provide alternatives. A story with a touch!!!!

Yes. The 2nd ammendment is there so you have a method of self defense of life and property.

But in this case. If she had bought a gun, found the time to learn to use it, and then shot the bastard. Well, That's called premeditated murder. Mary would probably get off due to the extreme mental and physical abuse but still be at minimum be arrested and charged. Her daughter (the only light in her life) would be taken from her and put into child protective services.

Having said that, I believe every woman should learn to use and own a gun. CCWs (concealed carry permits) are much easier for women to get then men because they are more vulnerable to violence. All women should learn a form of self defense.

In this story Mary had few choices and no support to turn to for help. She did what she thought (right or wrong) was her only way out for herself and her daughter.

Even if she had gone to the authorities and they arrested the POS, she would still live in fear of his return and revenge. I hope Mr Peters is more than a set of kind eyes and actually helps her.

To BR58. Thank you for shedding light into the dark shadows of this problem.

5*

Randi didn't say it explicitly, but I saw the capitalized "Him" as a sign of his dominance, and as Randi said, as soon as she was free of his dominance, the capitalization was dropped.

@Randi: first, great story. As my old English professor used to say ‘concise and precise’. Second, I blame my ADD for not noticing something I thought should be there.

@kingbandor: I would second Randi’s offer for you to suck my dick as well, but Knowing that it you’d enjoy it too much I’ll refrain. Instead, I’d like to remind you that ‘jealousy is the root of all evil’.

JohnAdp

but leaves enough choices to enable her an escape... route....hopefully, TK U MLJ LV NV

My reaction to this story is viceral. I worked with women and went after their abusers as part of my job. It left me merciless on this. So, I was grateful for this story. It felt like a prayer of hope. I like to hope that some of those women will read this story and feel vindicated.

I try never to attack a contributor here ad hominum. I’m new to the community and trying to fit in. I’m making an exception.

@KingBandor. You read the story. Your take-away was that it wasn’t fun or extra-marital. In which site of Lit would it meet your definition of “fun?” Would you find the story more enjoyable if the abuser invited a friend over and they both beat her?

Please apologize.

But so well written.

I debated reading this after being forewarned;

I'm glad I did opt to read it. Powerful stuff, this;

it packs a wallop(pun intended).

Brava, Randi.

LOVE IT, GOOD READ. slap hapy papy #9

I was raised by my grandparents. My grandfather was a alcoholic and sometimes beat my grandmother or she would lock herself in the shed until he sobered up. I got a far lower share of abuse, but I had to do the cleanup. It's a unique experience cleaning up your grandma's blood from surfaces at 2am with school the next day. Fortunately, were poor, so unless one of my aunt's/uncle's gave him whisky, he had a hard time getting drunk on beer (he hated wine).

The last time he physically abused my grandma, I broke my hand instead of punching my aunt, who had bought him a big bottle of Jim Beam and who slapped me when I called her a stupid bitch for buying it. I punched through the wall into a stud instead of hitting her, because I swore I would never hit a woman. I then took my good hand and broke the half empty bottle in the sink. She slapped me again and broke my cheap Medicaid glasses, then left refusing to take me to the hospital. My right pinky knuckle is about a half inch back from the others to this day because of it. I cleaned up the shower where my grandma had went to try to stop her varicose veins from bleeding, he had punched her in the leg.

The next day I told him that if he hit her again, one of us was going to the hospital or worse. I had beefed up a bit from playing football and lifting weights, so it seemed like a fairly even match. We had some tussles, but he stopped hitting her. The crazy thing is, as much as I hated him, I loved him about the same level. He died back in 94 from emphysema, too many years of unfiltered Pall Malls.

Everyone else in the family was fucked up one way or another. Now it's just me, my birth mother, some cousins, and two uncle's left. Cancer took my grandma, drugs my aunt and my uncle. I just buried his ashes in February. My other uncle's are both worthless, one has robbed everyone blind and the other murdered his wife. I suspect my mom will be next, she's had a heart attack and COPD from smoking all her life. The abuse of one person affects so many people over decades. The cousins I have were abused too, so that's at least 3 generations fucked.

I’m speechless. That doesn’t often happen. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see Joyce Carol Oates on the by-line, it’s that we’ll done, that powerful, and that moving. Randi, you are gifted beyond words.

Thank you.

This is quite a dark short story that unfortunately has some real people who fit this scenario. We all need vigilance and this type of behavior is condemned and should be well prosecuted.

This is certainly not erotic!

T.T.

There is no doubt that the literary quality is as high as anything that has ever appeared on this site. Five stars.

Well written but I hope there is no personal alignment with this subject. Thanks for sharing,

Yeah! He's not going to be abusing anyone else.

Have you ever been rabbit punched in the chest to where there was no pain, no breath and you felt as though you had forgotten how to breathe, all as your consciousness fades to black?

This incredible story has that ability. I can not remember when I have ever felt such power in words.

Well done, Randi. This needs to be told.

Batterer is "batted out". Three strikes and "no balls"

is there a more deserving retribution? should have castrated the bastard!

I guess I too would not place this in LW, but perhaps... Horror?

Otherwise — 5-stars

I am a 'loving wives' reader. It's a character flaw, I know.

I skipped past 'bobcat' because it does not gel with my particular outlook on things, and I know it would cause me conflict, no matter how well written.

I don't intend to comment on every story you have given us, mostly, the rating will suffice. But this one does deserve a comment.

Having an agenda is fine. Most authors here project their own slant on things, not with one tale, but you get the picture once you have read many. They always devise the plot to ride between the narrow confines of their own beliefs. Some of them, I find insidious and nauseating.

As for this story... Yes, it's dark. Yes, it's terrible.

I see why you expect people to be disturbed, the action dictates that it is.

However, at the end, I found myself at peace. There was no crime there, only necessity and justice... Except for the crimes perpetrated by the monster, which did not even bear the telling, and you handled that very well.

For a character in her position, the truth is, she did not even have an alternative. Only the complete and utter destruction of her nemesis would have left her and her child safe.

While a terrible story, dark in theme, tone and implementation, the sense I came away with... was hope. And that is why I had to comment.

Thank you again.

A brilliant job of building and capturing the desperation and urgency of the story.

It brought back a few forgotten/repressed memories of my own. I wish my mother had had her courage! Good job

It's as though you reached out and into the minds of the women who even today live like this. Women are fantastic, they are insanely smart , and they can make you crazy all at the same time. But NO ONE DESERVES TO BE TREATED THIS WAY. You did a good job of capturing the fear and desperation. If you write any more like this maybe the warning should just say "soul crushing, read at your own risk". Dark and macabre just weren't enough of a warning.

... wait, that was the point... right?

Sad that some women live like this, thats why my house is a safe zone. This story is closer to truth then many realize.