All Comments on 'Can You Keep a Secret? Long Version'

Great story, well presented & written! Be proud, and be just as great in the continuation. Don't rush it!

Posibly the best story I have ever read of this nature

I can't say enough how great this story is. Please, please continue soon!!!

This version is much better than the short one. The characters are much more believable, the dialogues are flowing much better and story develops much nicer.

For the next chapter: Better take your time again to tell the story, don't rush it, because the quality of the story rises incredibly.

Thank you for writing and posting the first chapter.

i was reading the first half of page one and i thought, "geeezzz i hope this goes up to page 10 instead of just 3." i absolutely love this fic! i am looking forward to ch.2, and about that future heartbreak since they are siblings, i hope you put some twist towards the end of this fic (whatever chapter that might be) and give those 2 a happy ending. this just squeezes my heart and makes me tingly all over :D

there had better be a chapter 2

to next chapter. Please keep it believable. The secret should never come out. The outcome of a secret like this being told would divide the characters emotionally. I have had to keep a family secret for years.

very good but watch your tenses when they were in the shower you went from I to he and his keep it in one tense and please hurry with chapter 2

You just proved that there is no need for description in size or other details. Can't wait for chapter 2. Keep up the good work.

awesome piece ...

please post the continuation ... the long version ...

thanks ...

good but you only get a 25 because it is unfinished and 90%of the writers on this site never finish their stories i hope you aren't one of them please finish soon

my god this was an incredible story kudos friend. But please finish it up, take all the time you need but at least give us an update on whether or not your going to write a ch 2 please!

I loved this story it was absolutely wonderful Please finish up i want to know how the story ends and i love youre style of wrighting Please Finish!

it was very good,,,,,, just make sure you keep the story in first person or third person the whole way through... and please finish the story,,, it was getting so good.....

Pleasee finish it was just getting good I for one want to know the rest of the night and probably the rest of their spring break week.

Dude, that was amazing. What a compelling narrative.

Well where is the second installment?

yet another wannabe writer that fails to finish a story SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS FINISH WHAT YOU START AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR BEFORE POSTING ONLY LOSERS DON'T FOLLOW THESE RULES

I enjoyed it....when are we getting more?

I loved this story. I love the connection between the siblings, and I am hoping that after 2 1/2 years you may finish it soon.

anxiously waiting chapter 2....

ashame you havent done a second part :'( i enjoy reading theses types of stories not to good off just because they are pretty good

You evil man. It`s not pollite to end a story like this without a second part.....

"I know from the start you'll break my heart" as a writer and reader, I can't express my reverance for this story. I'm actually willing to start a petition for you to finish this incredible piece of work. For the benefit of all those who read literotica for meaningful content, please PLEASE finish this.

are you an asshole or just stupid never ever leave the readers hanging always finish what you start and use a good editor NOW GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND FINISH THIS NOW OR REMOVE BOTH STORIES NOW ONE OR THE OTHER

What is wrong with people finish your dang story, this is the second story that I read that the author did not finish. Sister's Urge by Alice_Rabbit was an amazing story check it out if you have not read it but it left you with such a cliff hanger was so annoying!

half a story is worse than no story we would have been better off if you had NEVER POSTED ANYTHING AT ALL. EITHER FINISH OR DELETE BUT DON'T LEAVE IT LIKE THIS.

Delicious!!!

r u serious finish it!!!!

The story telling was awesome i reallt felt that i was the brother good job i really enjoyed it me and my girlfriend really liked it

Great story I was hooked all the way. PLEASE FINISH IT!!

That was a really good story! Please, please, please finish it or make more!

You need to finish this! It is AMAZING! Hopefully, you can add a picture? :)

I too really enjoyed this story. Not sure if the writer intended to make this a one off or not. I don't want to think anything bad has happened for this story not to continue.

... this story, and would also love (even more) to see it completed.

I also love how people hide behind anonymity, and blast the Author with their bullshit.

READING THIS FANTASTIC STORY LITERATELY HAD ME FEELING AS THE BROTHER, ALL WOUND UP ON, THE EDGE. I LOVE THIS STORY AND HOPE YOU CAN BE PERSUADED TO CONTINUE ON.

wow, so so awesome...please more

Nice premise.

The concept of no names work, but oly sort of. Somehow, it seems as if names would make it 'realer'.

Ditto with the lack of description of the specifics of the body parts -- particularly the breasts. What do they look like? I'd have liked to know. Large? Small? Firm? Soft? What are her nipples like?

Pussy shaved? Hairy? Groomed? Lips?

What's his cock like? It doesn't have to be particularly large, but what about it? Straight? Curved?

Would have liked some more foreplay. Particularly her playing with his cock and teasing it slowly.

When sex happened, it seemed to happen too fast. To mechanically. Too matter-of-factly.

A bit of reticence might have been a good addition.

How did she smell when she got excited? Can't likely tell while in the hot tub, but she could have sat on the edge, out of the water, to let him look. There he coud see -- and smell. Would be be tempted to kiss it? Lick it? Suck it? Would she want him to? Would she let him?

Lots of opportunities.

Four stars.

Omg! Such a cliffhanger! When, WHEN is the next chapters coming out???? Soon I hope!

It must be the Italian in me because while he was jabbering on about nothing, I at lunch and dinner at the Y, and brought her to shattering orgasms three times, then fucked her once, didn't come,but she did, then made love to her, pulling out and blowing a load down her throat. All in all, she came 5 times in 45 minutes, then we went to her bedroom for some quite time.. I think he was still talking to himself when I left at nine o'clock the next morning, but not before she had fun twice more on my cock and she had a liquid breakfast. How's that? My opinion, to much talk, just my opinion. Nice to see a brother that wasn't bothered by 'the incest thing'. Watch your grammar and editing. Well written. Keep writing.

Sorry, forgot to sign my comment.

XYZ

I would give you 5 stars but you stopped it at a very crucial point in the story.