Can You Keep a Secret? Long Version

"Okay."

"Why did you have a hard time concentrating in the shower this morning?"

"I think that's kind of personal. I know that's not fair... we talk about personal things with each other all the time, but I don't think I would be comfortable discussing it."

"If I guess, will you tell me if I'm right?"

"Sure if you guess, I'll tell you if you're right." I figured, what were the chances?

"All right, I'm going to tell you what I think, but if I'm wrong don't get upset."

"Okay."

"Were you having a hard time because you kept trying to fantasize about something but you kept thinking about me?" How did she know?

"Have I been that obvious? How did you know that?" She squeezed my hand. "I knew because the same thing happened to me."

"I thought you said you had a great orgasm this morning." "Oh I did, I meant it was happening. You see at first I was trying to fantasize about, well... whatever, but I kept thinking about you. Eventually I got kind of frustrated and you know what I did?"

"I'm sure you're going to tell me," I teased.

"Well if you don't want to know."

"Oh I do. Continue."

"I said to myself, "Fuck it, it's just a fantasy. You can dream about whatever you want when it's your own hand rubbing your clit. I thought about you. And it was hot, really hot. And you know what? I don't feel bad about it. I don't care if you turn me on, or if holding your hand right now makes me warm all over. Life is short. I'm not here to feel guilty about how I feel. It might be wrong to beat the shit out of someone, but we've all wanted to at some point. Just wanting to isn't that same as actually doing it... you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean... but what if the person you want to beat the shit out of is standing right next to you and you think you're fixing to lose control. If you don't think about something else, you might very well end up taking a swing."

She smiled, "Are you afraid that you're going to punch me, brother?"

"Punch? No. Something else? Yeah, I'm afraid I will. It is actually hard for me to not reach out and kiss you right now, and not in a brotherly way. Sometimes I feel like I'm... I'm..."

"Say it... I want to hear it."

"I feel like I'm in love with you."

She stopped walking and tugged on my arm so that I was facing her. I must have had a look on my face like I just admitted to running over her favorite pet. But she stepped forward and wrapped her arm around me, holding me close.

"I'm sorry, I tried not to... I tried," I said.

"Don't be sorry, please, whatever you feel, don't be sorry. I love you too... I love you so much." We held each other in silence for a while.

"Let's go home, it's not like we have to split up when we get there."

"Okay."

She took my hand and we began walking home.

"You know, spending all week together isn't going to diminish our feelings," I warned

"I don't want it to. I like the way I feel."

"But it can only end in heartbreak."

"Of course that's how it's going to end! Did you really want to go through your whole life wondering what all the poets were talking about? How many people go through relationship after relationship wondering if they're going to get their heart broken again this time? So I know from the start that you'll break my heart, I can live with that. What I can't do is deny how I feel. And if I fall asleep in your arms, I won't deny to myself how much I enjoy that just because you're my brother."

"You're amazing."

She looked up at me with a mischievous look in her eye.

"Thanks!"

"You're going to break my heart."

"Good... I'd hate to be the only one."

We held each other's hands tightly and walked the rest of the way home. My mind was a jumbled mess. So we were in love... but we were still brother and sister. So what did it even mean? That we enjoy holding hands and sitting next to each other on the couch more than we used to? That we fantasize about each other? If we weren't siblings and we were in love this bad, we would be all over each other. Still, I wanted to grab her and kiss her so bad that it hurt, but I didn't. I didn't know where to go from here but I was glad that we had nine days to figure it out.

_________________

We got home and once we walked through the door she pulled me to her and looked up at me.

"I want something before we get in the hot tub."

"Okay." I was past asking what.

"I want to kiss you." It had been four years since I kissed a girl and I was nervous that I would be awkward. At least I was worrying about how good a kisser I was instead of the fact that I was kissing my sister.

I leaned forward and at first our lips just brushed against each other's. We took advantage of how sensitive lips are and felt the texture of each other's skin. Then we were kissing and I could feel her mouth pressed against mine. Then I felt her tongue push gently against my lips and I opened my mouth and tasted her. She started gently, but was soon kissing me passionately, probing my mouth and sucking on my tongue. I could feel my heart beating in my chest and an erection forming. I reached my arms around her and held her close. She broke the kiss and looked into my eyes.

"Still think a broken heart would be so bad?"

"Yes, but worth it."

"Good answer. Want to kiss me again?"

"Yes."

And we did. And I was less nervous. And it was wonderful. In a kiss like that, you might as well be on the moon as anywhere you're so oblivious to your surroundings. Eventually she broke the kiss and whispered in my ear,

"Think about me while you change for the hot tub?"

"I suspect I might."

"I'll go get indecent."

"Sounds good."

She walked toward her room and I rushed into mine. I didn't want her to be ready first and me get out to the hot tub with her already in the water. I changed into my trunks quickly and rushed out to the deck. I got the cover off, the jets going, and settled into the water. I heard the patio door open and saw my sister come out with a towel wrapped around her.

"I thought you said you were going to go get indecent."

"Ha ha. Don't worry you'll get an eye full." She walked over to the hot tub and faced me. "Ready?"

"Oh, I'm ready."

She dropped the towel and my breath caught in my throat. She was right about it being indecent. I didn't see how the bottoms could have covered any less and still 'technically' covered her. The bikini top may have covered her nipples but I was seeing by far more breast than was covered. Her body was gorgeous. I wanted to reach out and grab her: to pull her body toward mine and feel her skin against me from her toes to her cheek. She must have sensed that she had rendered me speechless.

"So... tell me what you think."

"You're... you're beautiful. I don't think I have ever seen anything sexier in my entire life."

"Want me to sit in your lap tonight?"

"Sure. You can get a second opinion of how good you look in that suit." I was so hard it almost felt like a cramp.

She got in the water and sat in my lap, her thigh once again against my cock.

"So you do like it then."

"If it was up to me I'd have you sit on the edge of the tub all night so that I could check you out."

"Will you settle for groping my ass?"

"Sure... I'll 'settle.' " That perfect ass and I was fixing to get two handfuls.

She changed positions so that she was straddling my lap and facing me.

"Ready for another kiss?"

"Oh, I'm ready."

"Don't get so lost groping me that you forget to kiss back."

"I won't."

She leaned forward to kiss me and this time she didn't start slowly. She put her hand on the back of my head and, pulling me toward her, kissed me. It was not gentle, or subtle. Her mouth was open and the taste of her tongue filled my mouth. It was passionate and devouring. I put my hands on her ass, I would have done this tentatively and slowly, but the way I was being kissed made it seem ridiculous to act hesitant.

I kissed her back and let my hands wander up from her thighs to the small or her back enjoying the feel of every inch of skin in between. I settled my hands on her ass and began to explore the limits of the area that I had been given. I ran the tips of my fingers between her cheeks, moving in until I was running my fingertips along the string of her thong.

Then, I moved my hands down and felt the inside of her thighs, moving my hands as high up as they could go without brushing the small piece of fabric that barely covered her pussy. I gently caressed the skin there knowing the effect that the touch so close to her pussy would have. I was right and I could begin to sense desperation in her kisses as her arousal built. I moved my hands back to her ass and moving my fingers as close as I could to that sweet spot where the ass, legs, and pussy all come together, I began to rub gently. She moaned into my mouth and then breaking the kiss, said,

"Do you want to stop?" Nothing in her voice told me that she wanted me to say yes.

"No, do you?"

"Never!" She gave me a quick peck on the cheek and then said,

"Scoot forward."

"What?"

"Scoot forward. I want to wrap my legs around you and I can't do it with your back against the side of the tub."

I moved forward and she switched from straddling my lap to sitting in it. I could feel her thighs on my waist, her calves against my back, and her breasts now pressed against my chest. I couldn't reach the inside of her thighs any more, not from the back anyway, and it crossed my mind that maybe she moved to this position, because she didn't want me touching her there.

I shouldn't have worried. Her mouth returned to mine and as my hands once again began their free roam over anywhere they could find exposed skin, she began to move her hips. Her new position had placed her pussy right up against my cock and she began to rub herself against it, slowly at first but building the pace. I didn't think I had ever been this hard before. My cock felt like a stone between us and there was discomfort when she would press against me so hard that my cock was pushed against her pubic bone. But it was the best sort of uncomfortable feeling.

Soon she was moaning, and I began kissing her neck instead so that I wouldn't muffle the sounds she was making. I loved to hear the effect that I was having on her. Suddenly her moans began to build and she cried out.

"Oooooohhhhhh..... Fuuuuuuck.... Oooooohhhhh..."

When she stopped moaning, her body relaxed, but she didn't move. I knew she was enjoying the slow fade of her orgasm, so I wrapped my arms around her and just held still. Her body had gone limp and her head rested on my shoulder. I could feel her breath on my neck. I felt her body shake a little, and pulling away slightly to look at her face, I noticed that she was crying. I was suddenly very afraid that she was regretting what we had done.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"No tell me. I'll be so sorry that I let this happen if you hate yourself for it."

"You're not sorry are you?"

"No... not unless you are."

"I'm not sorry. I'm glad it happened. I don't want it to stop."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because of... everything. It felt so wonderful. I've never gotten to hold someone while I came. And I came so hard. And I love you so much and I wanted that to happen with you. I think I've wanted it a long time. It's not just the sexual release. It was like letting go of everything between us that wasn't out in the open. It was so much of what I've wanted for so long. How can you let go like that and not cry a little?"

"So... it's a good thing?"

"Oh yes."

We were both silent for a moment and I just held her against me. The moment was beautiful and I almost felt sorry that my hard cock was pressed against her, detracting from the moment. I let her enjoy the moment, staying quiet until she broke the silence.

"Still want to watch a movie and fall asleep together."

"Of course."

"We'll have to shower off the chlorine before we get into bed."

"Yeah...?" My heart beat quickened a bit.

"I don't want to be apart from you for a minute." She had been the first to take a step forward in our relationship so many times, I thought I would take a turn.

"Do you want to take a shower together?"

"Yes."

"It would seem kind of silly to wear our swimsuits in the shower."

"Yes it would." I was a quiet for a minute.

"You know, if you're going to see me naked anyway..."

"Yeah?"

"I've always wanted to sit in this hot tub 'au naturale.'"

"That does sound good. Mind if I join you?" she asked.

"Is that a rhetorical question?" She laughed.

"Can I take your suit off for you?"

"As long as I can take off yours." She got off my lap and got on her knees in the middle of the hot tub.

"Stand up and come here." I stood up and moved toward her. It wasn't an especially deep tub and the water came up just to the bottom of my shorts. My erection was obvious. She reached up and hooked her fingers in the waistband. She pulled her fingers towards her and down, pulling my shorts down into the pool. She remained on her knees, her face inches from my cock while she looked at it. After a few moments I began to feel self-conscious.

"Well?"

"I don't know what to say except it's so..."

"What."

"It's so sexual."

"Well, yeah, obviously."

"No, I mean, it makes me think of sexual things. I look at you and sexual things that I want to do flow through my head. I feel worked up all over again. You must be really frustrated right now."

"Yeah, if I don't get some release I'm going to have some pretty serious blue balls in the morning."

"When we get in the shower, can I take care of that for you?"

"You mean make me come?"

"Yeah, do you want me to?"

"Of course... Now stand up, it's my turn to get you naked."

She stood up and before I could react she stepped toward me and pressing her body next to mine she kissed me. I felt my cock press into her stomach, and then I felt her hand between us reaching for me. Then her fingers were reaching around me and she was squeezing my cock. I groaned with her mouth against mine. Then she let go of me and backed away.

"Sorry for interrupting you, but I really needed to do that."

"If only life was full of such interruptions."

She turned around so that I could undo the clasp that was holding her top on. I undid it and moved the straps off of her shoulders. She moved her arms forward and the top fell into the water. I placed my hands on her shoulders and turned her around. Her breasts came into view and they were exquisite. Firm with erect nipples that made you want to feel them pressing into the palm of your hand. I wanted to lean forward and suck one of them into my mouth, and while I thought that she would let me, I didn't think it would be my last chance tonight to do so.

I went down on my knees, removed the rest of her suit, and saw a naked girl with my own eyes for the first time in my life. I could see her lips clearly. I placed my hands on her hips, leaned forward and kissed her right at the top of her slit. Then I stood up, reached out and held her naked body next to mine.

"Sorry, I really needed to do that."

"I understand. Let's sit back down." With that she wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my middle. I sat back down and this time I felt the smooth softness of her pussy lips pressed against my cock. She began to kiss me again, but it was slower now, not the desperate longing of someone striving for climax. She was simply enjoying the multitude of sensations that she was experiencing: the feel of her breasts against my chest, the taste of my mouth, my hands caressing her body, my hard cock pressed against her clit.

I relaxed as well, trying to enjoy everything that was happening to me and finding that it was more than I could take in at once. When she broke the kiss she leaned back and, keeping her legs wrapped around me, she let herself float in the water, her arms outstretched to the side, only her face and her breasts broke the surface.

Her eyes were open and for a moment she only looked at me.

"Isn't it a wonderful feeling?"

"Which in particular?" I asked.

"Being naked in front of someone, and not feeling embarrassed or ashamed or the need to cover yourself." Her legs were still around me and she was still slowly rubbing herself against me while she spoke.

"Yeah, it's hard to put one word on it. It's like feeling honest, open, free, exposed, and brazen all at the same time.

"Of course your cock is giving me some pretty wonderful feelings right now too."

'Have you no shame?" I teased.

"That's not fair. There's a difference between not being ashamed, and not thinking that what you're doing is something to be ashamed about."

"Point taken. So... what are you doing?" I was curious about what her take would be on rubbing herself to an orgasm on my cock.

"I'll tell you what I am doing, and how my sexual experiences could have gone, and then you can tell me what you think. I'm not some girl talked out of her bra by her boyfriend in the backseat of a car. I'm a girl sharing my body with someone that I love so that he can enjoy it, and I can enjoy his pleasure at the sight of me. You love the sight of my breasts, and I love seeing your eyes on them.

"I'm not some girl giving into her sexual desire with some high school jock, I've chosen someone I love and chosen an experience that I wanted to have with him. And when I make you come in the shower, I won't be some girl that gave her boyfriend a hand job so that he would stop pressuring her for sex. I'll be with someone I love, doing something that I love. I love you and I want to give you that pleasure." She sat up, wrapped her arms around my neck, and looked in my eyes. "Does any of that sound like something I should be ashamed of?"

"No."

"Are you ashamed?"

"No, not at all. I guess I'm worried that you'll feel bad, or that you'll regret this, and I'll end up feeling like I used you." She smiled, placed her hands on the sides of my face, and looked into my eyes, "I love you... and besides, who's been using who, here?" Her hips were still slowly moving, rubbing herself against me.

"Stop worrying and enjoy me."

"Okay."

I smiled mischievously at her and pushed her shoulders back. I kept one arm behind her back and as she leaned backwards I brought my mouth to one breast and my free had to the other. With my hand I cupped her breast and gently squeezed her nipple between two fingers. I sucked her other nipple into my mouth and ran my tongue over and around her nipple. She moaned and I could feel her chest began to rise and fall faster against my mouth. I had pushed her away from me in order to suckle her breast, and so I took my hand from her breast and placed it where my cock had been only moments earlier. I ran my fingers along her lips when suddenly she spoke.

"Don't finger me."

"Sorry." I moved my hand in surprise, had I misread her?

"Hey, I didn't say move your hand, I just said don't put your finger in me."

"Oh... okay." I continued running my fingertips along her lips.

"Sorry, it's just I always..." She diverted her eyes like she was embarrassed.

"What?... Tell me."

"I remember once one of my girlfriends was telling a story about how she had gotten a dildo and used it when she masturbated. She had never had sex before, and I remember thinking at the time, that I wanted the first thing that I felt inside me to be... you know... the real thing. I don't know what it feels like to be penetrated, but I always wanted to wait and find out when I actually had sex for the first time. I didn't want to be comparing in my head what the real thing felt like as opposed to my fingers or some guys tongue or some sex toy. I know that it might seem silly..."

"It doesn't seem silly." She seemed to feel bad about denying me something, so I decided to lighten the mood a little.